Thursday, 7 September 2017

Disastrous Dates


I am having my kitchen chairs delivered today!
John Lewis has given me a window of 7am to 2pm
Seven hours to kill at home!

The BBC website had a light hearted page on disastrous dates today
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-41173459
It made for a chuckle when I was sitting on the toilet...so much so that Mary tottered in to see what I was laughing at!

We have all had a date that went terribly wrong have we not?
Years ago, I had a date with a guy who suggested that we had a drive into the Derbyshire countryside in order to have a nice pub meal.
Now he drove a new and very powerful car and after just ten minutes I was hit by an overwhelming wave of motion sickness which I tried manfully to subdue as we politely chatted about nice things, like people who don't know each other, tend to do on first dates!

Eventually I could stand it no more and white faced and sweating I demanded that he stopped the car and near fainting I staggered out on the verge in front of speeding traffic and  laid down in the wet grass.
My date got back into his car when I vomited and had to sit there for an age when I slowly recovered still lying on my back as it started to rain!

We did have a few dates after that but nothing came of it , non were in Derbyshire by the way!

Have you ever had a crappy date?
Do tell

53 comments:

  1. Buy locally and get a delivery time on the dot.

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    Replies
    1. ? In north wales?

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    2. Shame, we still have small businesses here that thrive because people use them.

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    3. I wanted to use john lewis too rachel

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  2. When I was sixteen I had a date with a beautiful dark-haired girl from Hessle, near Hull. We went to see the newly-released "Woodstock" film. I plucked up courage to put my arm around her and I left it there. The blood supply was cut off and my arm became like a lifeless suckling pig. When I tried to draw it back it wouldn't move at first and when I lifted it with my left arm it whacked the girl on her pretty head. Needless to say, that romance came to a shuddering halt.

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    1. That's hilarious! It's surprising what we do not to embarrass ourselves.

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  3. Not a date but y our vomit story reminds me of the first time I met my (now) husbands family. I had food poisoning and we were making a five hour drive from the airport to his hometown. It was winding two lane road and he would wait behind slow old trucks for mile after mile for a chance to overtake. Pretty much the minute he managed to pass i would have to ask him to pull over so we would be stuck behind the truck again.
    We finally got to his family home where I stayed upright long enough to say some quick hellos before retreating to bed.
    Grandma came to talk to me and a wave of nausea hit hard and fast. As I struggled to jump out of bed grandma shoved her cupped hands under my mouth and caught the vomit!
    First meeting!

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    1. Grandmas can be very useful as receptacles.

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  4. I've never had one THAT bad, I have to admit. But I never had many dates at all, so there are fewer to choose from. :)

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  5. Doorstep dates... mine... back in the day, I had the hots for a mod, who turned up for our first date with fur around the cuffs of his parka. Having a way with words, I shut the door saying "Not tonight!"

    My mother had a similar experience with a very handsome hunk who took him upon himself to dress for the occasion by wearing a bowler. Her reply isn't on record however as she shut the door, I think he thought long and hard about what to wear the next time he took a girl out! Obviously not her!

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    1. Some people would enjoy a hairy cuff

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    2. Omg I can't believe I am going to say this... but the first thing I thought of after reading this and spitting red wine all over the monitor was "and some would enjoy a hairy muff" :O

      Jo in Auckland, NZ


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  6. Interesting. Some gay men do dates before hooking up? If the hooking up doesn't work, then is there a point of any further effort? Ah, they can be your friend. I do get dates and the building of sexual tension, but it is not for me. I have had a couple of disappointing 'dates', but surprisingly few.

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  7. too many to count back in the day, john.

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  8. I keep telling you John - I am the world's prize innocent. I married my second date in 1952 and the farmer was my only date in 1993 - very limited experience (but I am easily car sick!)

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    1. The newer the car the sicker i get

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  9. Ok, I have one. :) I met this guy who was in the army and he was super handsome and buff. He was extremely attractive. He took me to see Terminator 2. Anytime a gun appeared in the movie, he would lean across to me and say "That's a Sawed-Off Winchester 1887 Lever-Action Shotgun which can fire X bullets in X seconds. Then the additional gun comments would appear, eg That is a great gun! I fired one back in X month.

    He really knew a lot about guns, but that was where the extent of his knowledge about things ended. We saw each other for a week, then as pretty as he was, I had to end it. I did not know anything about guns, had zero interest in guns, I could not face any further movies with guns, and he was not especially willing to see movies without guns.

    I cannot even remember his name now, sadly. ;)

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    1. A serial killer in the making

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  10. A long time ago (I was a lot thinner then), I went on a date and the guy picked me up his car and we went to the pub, his first mistake was to rush into the pub leaving me trailing behind; the second mistake was his inane self-centred conversation; and thirdly he had B.O. I suffered for 15 minutes, went to the Ladies and climbed out of the window.

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  11. Waiting for delivery ... and then they call saying they will be a 'little' late!

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  12. Probably the one when I learned not to mix liquors. 'Nuff said.

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  13. Never dated very much John but i do remember one... We went horseback riding together for the first time... And he wanted to race... He got a switch and proceeded to whip his horse with it... well i may be a little too soft hearted but it ended there for me the moment he did it....
    On a side note... my hubby..before he was my hubby... went horseback riding with me.... The horse bucked him off.. he landed flat on his back but kept hold of the reins... and climbed right back on.... Hugs! deb

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    1. Funny what puts you off. I have my own list

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  14. I probably WAS the disastrous date.

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  15. Golly that sounds awful John. I've only been on what could be called a date three times in my whole life. I guess I was the disaster lol.

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  16. In a pizza restaurant my date liberally shook a canister of dried up Parmesan cheese all over his meal. I think the cheese had been sitting in that container for quite some time and it smelt rancid. Horror of horrors when he tried to kiss me with his sick breath at the end of the night!!!

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    1. Cheese breath....could have be worse

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  17. John, you tell a hilarious story!

    And the comments aren't bad either :)

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  18. I was stood up by someone I'd had a mad crush on for ages who told a friend of mine afterwards that I was " sweet, too sweet " I've tried to be bad ever since !

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  19. My wife's daughter had one once where the guy who took her to lunch in a mountain town was so taken with her he couldn't take his eyes off her. He ran off the road and got his vehicle stuck in a ditch. The two of them had to walk about a mile before they found someone who could pull the vehicle back onto the road. When he finally got her home he said something like "can I call you again?" She said "You've got to be kidding" and slammed the door in his face.

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  20. I was anxiously awaiting a first date with a guy I had an eye on for ages! I was a young and naturally poor part time student and retail employee. My roomie and I had just this week laid out everything that we could possible eat on the kitchen counter and tried to put together actual meals as it was way too long to payday!

    There was a train that was moving across the US that had several historical artifacts that I was anxiously waiting to view including Abraham Lincoln's rocking chair.

    Dave (If I remember correctly) also asked me to dinner before the event and I looked forward to having a REAL meal after cobbling together meals from the depths of our kitchen's cupboard.
    I was shocked and disappointed when he pulled up to a McDonald's! This is a first date and he's thinking he's impressing me? I was Starved!!!!
    Dave ordered first. A regular hamburger and small fries and a small drink. I had to be modest but I had hoped that it would be a BIG MAC and a large fries. I reluctantly ordered a (Gasp) cheeseburger and small fry and knew that this was our first and last date.
    Ruth in Oxnard CA USA

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  21. Replies
    1. That surprises me

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    2. That surprises me more

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    3. Nor me, I'm afraid!

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  22. Now you didnt say what he did for a living! Was he a poor student too?
    Lol
    On my first date with the prof i tried to pay for the meal by a supermarket savercard.! I had mistaken it for my debit card!

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  23. Oh yes. I was 16 and just started work. Chap at work asked me out, to the cinema. I told Mum I was meeting a friend (female) so I couldn't put any make-up on before leaving y=the house. Outside the cinema, in the dark, I discreetly put on pink lipstick and sparkly green creamy eye-shadow before meeting my date in the foyer. 5 minutes after being seated, he excused himself and 'went to the toilet'. He never came back and later, in the 'Ladies Cloakroom' I realised why - my pink eyelids and green sparkling lips might have put him off a bit.

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    1. Oh. My.!! That is a wonderful story to tell now but I bet it was awkward at work the next day!

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  24. I was not allowed to date until 16. On my first date my mother and grandmother who was invited by mom for just this occassion put the poor boy throw the ringer. I was mortified. We were just going for afternoon drive and home before dinner.
    Another time a fellow was driving me home after classes and as we reached the drive dad appeared. The fellow says is that your dad. Yes..he says he is a bear. Never saw him again.

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  25. Only one particular "charmer" springs to mind, He bred rabbits. To eat.He must have eaten them at every meal as he had about 40 hutches. He also told me on our one and only date, that he was desperate for sons. I was 16, he was 18. On the first date with my husband I managed to tread in a large dog turd. I spent a lot of that date in the pub toilet washing my foot and shoe in the sink. Funnily enough he asked me out again hehe x

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  26. When I first came to Geneva I dated a young Algerian medical student. He qualified as a doctor and is now a surgeon. He asked me to marry him but he was just too staid for me. Anyway, one divorce later (mine) and we have stayed in touch all these years. In the summer he asked me out to dinner so I suggested my local town for a change, rather than Geneva. We had a lovely evening, and I had tartiflette - my most favourite meal in the word. Except ..... occasionally I have a bad reaction to it. As I was driving him back to his car I could feel the "reaction" starting to work it's magic, so after a lovely evening together I virtually kicked him out the car while it was still moving!! He must have wondered what the hell he had done!! After I put him back on the motorway to Geneva I belted off towards home but was so stressed I actually got lost! Note, I have lived here for 28 years! But, I made it - only just. In the end, I don't care, he knows me, he's a doctor and I will explain next time I see him - that is if he dares to ask me out again. Anna

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  27. A blind date . . .
    One and only . . .
    Dinner together and knew then . . .
    Never again . . .
    Went for a twisty, curvy drive . . .
    (I too suffer from motion sickness . . .)
    He heard my scream, Take Me To My Car
    Never saw him again . . .

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  28. SO MANY. Like the guy who confessed he loved fat thighs and wanted to grope mine under the table. *shudder*

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  29. The fellow says is that your dad. Yes..he says he is a bear. Never saw him again.


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