Wednesday, 7 June 2017

Pebble-dash


I have been painting the render on the outside of the cottage for much of the day.
It's an odious job.
Twice ramblers have stopped for eggs ( remembering I sold them from previous hikes) and twice they have been somewhat startled by the sight of a masturbating bulldog rubbing her fanny on the garden steps when they leaned over the lane wall.
I'm so used to it, I don't bother to even acknowledge her behaviour any more.
" Oh dear" one woman exclaimed when she spied Winnie whipping herself into an absolute frenzy this time against the outhouse wall " a woman has needs, don't you baby?! " she cooed. Her husband was more practical and certainly nonplussed
" She'll have all your pebble-dash  off with an arse that size " he warned 

31 comments:

  1. Ha, that must have been some moment. Greetings.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Was the husband referring to Winnie or to his wife?

    ReplyDelete
  3. She's missing me, isn't she ?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hahahaha....I'm envisioning this little encounter. Your life is really far more interesting than mine.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Aww Winnie, you shameless old tart!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Don't worry. I am sure you could pebble-dash the walls with your own arse if Winnie rubs it off with hers. Not sure how the whitewash would take though.

    ReplyDelete
  7. You couldn't make it up!!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Lord, the fun never stops ...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It was hardly fun

      Delete
    2. And I wasn't serious! But your paint job is very good.

      Delete
  9. Her fanny must be red raw by now.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Its as thick as rhino hide

      Delete
  10. Oh Winnie - you have no sense of occasion !

    ReplyDelete
  11. Really Winnie! Totally shameless! On a more serious note, could she have an infection that irritates her?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No! All checked and clean....shes just a tart

      Delete
    2. I'm sure most painters and decorators are well used to the resident dogs wanking themselves into a frenzy. I love the jocular comments from the passing couple.

      Delete
    3. Some people join in with the fun

      Delete
  12. Ignoring all that what are you using to paint the render?

    ReplyDelete
  13. What do you mean by "render." Nice entry way. :)

    ReplyDelete
  14. Render is a covering for stone or brick buildings its rough and needs painting

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We call that 'stucco'.
      No privacy whatsoever for Winnie!

      Delete
  15. I live such a boring life

    ReplyDelete
  16. good old girl, that winnie. self love is the best love of all!

    ReplyDelete
  17. This was funny to begin with. The comments make it even better. I'll have to use that line, "She'll have all your pebble-dash off with an arse that size."

    ReplyDelete
  18. I have a 'self pleasuring' dog too - you are not alone! Heard some strange rumblings earlier this evening - turns out B was having such a good time the lounge was shaking!

    ReplyDelete

I love comments and will now try very hard to reply to all of them
Please dont be abusive x