Friday, 23 June 2017

Ball Trouble

The woman involved is usually rather aloof.
She's tiny and skinny and never says hello but always pats Winnie when they pass each other on the walkway.
I noticed that she always wears large sunglasses even in bad weather.
I'd say she was approaching 70.
As usual she had a chirpy, long legged mongrel with her and today she was swinging a ball which was attached to a wide plastic handle.
I was daydreaming so only realised that there would be a problem seconds too late, as moments after our paths crossed I turned to warn her not to get too close to Winnie with the ball.
For Winnie adores balls.
As I turned I saw the woman merrily swinging the toy for her own dog to play with and like lightening Winnie jumped up and grabbed the ball in her fat and very powerful mouth.
The woman pulled back on the handle.
Winnie pulled harder.
And without , even a pause the woman flew through the air like a rag doll and landed with a splat on the path.
I almost laughed at the very cartoon nature of it all, thank god I didn't.

I don't think she'll sue, and she did wave me away after I offered to pay for any damage to the sunglasses ( once we eventually found them) but at least she let me dust  her off briefly and check her for hip fractures.

64 comments:

  1. LOL! Olga adores balls too. She's never knocked down an old woman but she's made children cry. In any case, hope there were no fractures!

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  2. She should have been paying more attention to where she was slinging her balls! Hahaha.

    (Even though I chuckled I do hope the lady is ok!)

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  3. I really do hope she's OK, too, but it does paint a funny picture.

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    1. It WAS like a cartoon...her ball went, then her arm then it was her minus sunglasses

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  4. Great story and I could just picture Winnie huge mouth opening to grasp the ball and the tiny lady flying through the air.
    Hope she is OK.
    All my dogs adore the ball but a squeaky is #1.

    cheers, parsnip and thehamish

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  5. Poor Winnie - she thought she had a new friend to play with! I'm glad the woman wasn't hurt but it must have been a shock to her. I'm ten years younger and wouldn't stand up too well to flying through the air and landing smack on the pavement!

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  6. I hope she is alright, poor woman. Nearly 70 is how old many of us are.

    I just added a further comment to your previous post, sharing with Raybeard.

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  7. Ahh...Our Winnie still has it. She can frolic with the best of them.

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  8. It's a golden rule over here in Yorkshire - Never swing your balls in front of a bitch. It's a rule that Katie Price's various husbands should have noted.

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    1. The master flexes his muscles

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    2. WOOAH... YP very clever/funny/timely!! Ha ha

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  9. This is a good lesson for us all to learn, don't walk along the path swinging your balls.
    I am glad she was gracious about it all. I would have probably sat there on the ground and had a little snuggle with Winnie if she allowed me to.

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  10. Poor lady, guess she won't be doing much patting anymore. Greetings and have a splendid weekend!

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    1. It was incredibly funny btw

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  11. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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    1. It was an unfortunate small accident, no harm done. If we all thought every day about what may befall us, we wouldn't travel, cross the road, light the gas, eat anything etc. This is life, we all need to try and enjoy it, mishaps occur. Winnie sounds a lovely girl.

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    2. Ursula you have got on my tits with your always taking the opposite view so i have deleted you. If the woman was injured i would not have posted the story

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    3. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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    4. I didnt even read your second comment

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    5. thank you for deleting that crap, john.

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    6. Anne marie, i think ursula just doesnt get my way of writing...she misses the warmth and the irony and the humour and feels that she has to comment always to the negative .....an alternative view .....,i think its heavy handed of her and innapropriate . Which I can forgive
      But to be honest now it just gets on my tits

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    7. Excuse me but I think Winnie and my cats would get your way of writing .. if they could read ... which they refuse to learn .. it gets on more tits than just yours John.
      C

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  12. Oh no..So glad the lady was okay. Poor Winnie..she was just having fun. Bulldogs and balls cab be a dangerous combination. Haha.

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    1. No many people know just how ball orientated they are

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  13. Another great title. You examined her for hip fractures?

    "Madam, you have acute angina."

    "Cut the crap and tell me what's wrong with me!"

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    1. Vicar " you have a divine right"
      Busty lady " i have a divine left too"

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    2. hee hee hee. if I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?

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  14. She's a dog owner, too, and must have realized, a second too late, she'd made a mistake.

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    1. As she sailed through the air like a flying machine.....

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  15. I'm starting to think that there is no moment in your life that is ordinary.

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  16. As a dog owner, she likely understands. I am glad she was not hurt. I probably would have laughed and then felt terrible for doing so.

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  17. I was just that lady ! I visited with the person who lives next door .. a friendly sort of lady who is very casual and not quick to tell her massive Standard Poodle to get off of the visitor.
    Fortunately for all, I adore standard Poodles and the dog just missed being obnoxious... although I was so tempted to lecture the lady on teaching manners is a must with a large male dog.

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    2. Loved the card x

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  18. And what, pray tell, was her dog doing during this 'on the ball' standoff between woman and bulldog?

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    1. Bouncing with Mary who was on her lead next to william and George

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  19. Sweet Jesus, arse over tit in Trelawnyd !! Have a good weekend x

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    1. I will she wont

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    2. She doesn't deserve to ..she has to learn how to behave .. then she will get a treat when she behaves. Or at least a "good girl" ... :o)

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  20. Haha. Think I will continue to stick with cats. Tho I do have a sneaky admiration of Winnie. Such an innocent abroad!

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  21. That sounds like how I inherited Daisy the Airedale years ago. A car back fired, Daisy fled and my little friend didn't let go of the lead. Like something out of a cartoon except this little lady broke her shoulder. Ouch!

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  22. You create lovely visuals in your posts. I can just see Winnie propelling this elderly lady onto the path via a ball on a stick. No harm done thankfully.

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  23. for a moment there, I hoped your blog title was NOT about you or the prof. PS - how is the prof's tooth doing?

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    1. According to him............excruciating

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  24. Like lightening? Winnie?

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    1. Oh believe me ......she can be like a whippit

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  25. And the moral of the tale is: always approach Winnie with great caution....

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    1. Keep ypur balls in your hand

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    2. or put your balls into my hands...

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  26. Well, we do know that Winnie meant no harm; little love-bug.

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  27. Had that happened here in the sue-happy US of A, you'd have been visited by her legal counsel and deposed by now, and a hearing date would be entered for her to sue you for a gazillion USD for a terrorist attack, a hate crime, and pain and suffering. You and Winnie would be facing years of courtroom appearances all because one woman couldn't keep her balls to herself!

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  28. OMG...an adventure that you certainly didn't need. Glad she was ok...and hope she stays that way.

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  29. You make me realise what a quiet life I lead!

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  30. I worked for a lady one who had a very naughty flat coat retriever [gorgeous though!]. At one point she was having hydrotherapy, but she had to stop in the end because everytime one of the other dogs had a ball she'd divebomb them for it regardless of size of the other hound. In the end she'd stolen all the balls and refused to part with them. Arilx

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  31. I can picture the whole scene ! I want to hear more. Did the lady speak at all ?

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  32. Omg lmao.Having a mad bitch myself , I can sympathise 😁

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  33. Never, in all Blogland, has there been anyone who gets into the scrapes you do. Could it be something to do with having four dogs?

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  34. There is a great video somewhere on You Tube of a tiny old lady holding onto a Great Dane by the lead. She throws a stick out of shot, and the G.D. goes after it. She disappears horizontally and you hear whoever is operating the camera cry, "Mum!"

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  35. Oh Winnie - you little madam !

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  36. "...dust her off briefly and check her for hip fractures.'

    John, you are the best!

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