Sunday, 9 April 2017

Bedroom Ettiquette


Walter Pidgeon and Greer Garson had twin beds. So did my parents in the latter years of their marriage. Blogger Rachel has gone one step further, she and P has seperate bedrooms,each, no doubt, enjoying the starfish abilities of cool sheets and a double bed.
Woody Allen and Mia Farrow went a step further, they lived in seperate houses...but that's another story!
In our home, I sleep on the left and always have done. The Prof sleeps on the right with our only bedside table which is usually covered with books and ipads and phone.
The dogs take pot luck.
Until recently George has aways slept at the foot of the duvet, politely away from feet and movement.  Now he enjoys the armchair in the living room. Mary sleeps in her crate in the kitchen and Winnie enjoys the hospitality of the sofa. Winnie understands only too well that bed sharing with the Prof is a total no-no when he is in situ but after he has left for work she will gallop gleefully up the stairs and hurl herslf with gay abandon onto the duvet like a fat lady at the circus.
Willian is the only dog with any manners, for he will come up to bed after his first dawn wee stop and will place his head on the pillow next to mine.
If cold , he actually gets under the bedclothes like an old man.


I'd like a bigger bed. I've always thought that American sized hotel beds are a delight because you can get totally lost in them. You could, if you wanted share one with a bull ox and still have room for Shelley Winters......but that's another story.

When I was a boy we had nylon sheets that always caught on your toenails. We also had bunk beds, candlewick bed spreads and hot water bottles.
Oh and those warming stripy flannel sheets in winter!


87 comments:

  1. Big beds are one of the joys of life. I went down a size, from King to Queen for the condo in DC, though I do have space in the room for a larger bed. We also enjoy separate bedrooms. We both snore, we both flop around to roll over a lot, we sleep better.

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    1. The seperate bedroom thing is more common than i thought

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  2. spouse and I have separate bedrooms. it works for us.

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  3. We still use flannelette sheets and a hot water bottle.

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  4. We have a king sized temper-pedic that has movable head and feet area and a vibrating feature...but that's another story.

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  5. Oh, brushed nylon sheets from Brentford Nylons (was it Alan Freeman who advertised them?).
    Huge beds are great. It means you don't have to storm off to the spare room if you argue. You can go all night without meeting in the middle.

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    1. We make a wall of pillows

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  6. They do say that he/she who 'wears the trousers' sleeps nearest to the door. Does that apply chez John?

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    1. An interesting saying, not one I wholley agree with

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  7. I was involved in a discussion only yesterday, with a young person, about candlewick bedspreads. Said young person asked if they were made from the wicks of candles. A logical conclusion for him.

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    1. Was he think as mince?

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    2. Did you say yes? The ''young person'' was correct. Originally [c.late 1700s?] candlewick spreads were hand knotted with the cotton thread or string also used for candle wicks.

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  8. Well , I have a king size bed and since I'm not officially matched I can play Joan Crawford till my heart content and lounge about. Is only shared by Buster who get under the bedclothes. Or when the Lad or Warbucks is here. But not at the same time mind you.

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  9. Where does Albert sleep?

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    1. Wherever he likes..often with Winnie

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  10. Bloody fucking hell. Can I help you with any further details?

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    1. Big breaths darling!

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    2. Haha knew that you would respond as such Rachel...great :)

      Jo in Auckland, NZ

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    3. I nearly died. I sleep cocooned in swaddling clothes in a tiny bed. I actually dislike big beds. P has a king size double and I go in and annoy him loads and mostly he complains I am red hot "you're like a bloody furnace" .

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    4. LOL... why is it when young we gals were like ice blocks.. my bum so cold it would take forever to get warm. Perhaps it was a factor for continuation of the species because much snuggling led to you know what!
      Now I am also a furnace whereas my other half is freezing and likes to cuddle but in only a short time I am saying... hot... way too hot!!

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  11. Lately, my sleep was fitful: partner snoring, animals moving about, my own restlessness. When son left I painted and refurnished his room, telling myself it was for guests. I splurged on Egyptian cotton bedding for summer and thick Portuguese flannel for winter. It feels like a wonderful hotel room and I sleep soundly. Partner is sleeping better too. On date nights, it's "my place or yours?"

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    1. Sounds a wonderful plan

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  12. Trust me, it doesn't matter how big the bed is, the dogs get most of that extra room!

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    1. Cats in my place.

      Jo in Auckland, Nz

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    2. And in ours. Astonishingly successful bed hogs.

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  13. Do you sleep on the left as seen by someone outside looking down on you? I need to know in case I break in during the middle of the night. I would hate to get the wrong person in the dark.

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  14. No matter how big the bed I have to cuddle or can't get to sleep. Dog used to sleep with us but they have both passed. Now 16 year old cat sleeps at our feet and new tiny rescue cat sleeps wrapped around my head.

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  15. My husband only snored when he had had too much wine at dinner :) I guess that doohickey that relaxes when you sleep that causes snoring, was pretty relaxed.
    Once I just put the pillow over his face, I couldn't stand it anymore .. he just rolled over, never even woke up. grrrr.
    Finally for some reason, he got better at sleeping on his side and it seemed to improve .. or maybe it was the pillow over his face, scared the snores right out of him !

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    1. Haha Notes... I work with elderly people.. and up until recently would have the same reaction.... my partner snores ALL THE TIME!! but I asked a recently widowed lady what she missed about her husband and she said his snoring.. yes she said... it annoyed her no end... but when it ended when he was gone... she felt lonely.. and sad...

      Jo in Auckland, NZ

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  16. Oh how I love your stories John...early in my marriage my then husband was working the late shift being a printer... we had a young Doberman who was a hoot... she would creep up the stairs when I was in bed and slowly slip under the duvet from the bottom of the bed.. and end up with her head on my absent husbands pillow and her very long legs poking into my back...more than once I left the bed and went out and back around so she was in the front of me.. silly cow... I loved her like a child so she could get away with anything!!!

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  17. William is such a Love . . .
    Perfect cartoon, loved the post . . .

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  18. When we moved to our current house we bought a super kingsize bed to accommodate the cat who likes to sleep next to me - sleeping between two furry and snoring creatures in summer requires more room to remain cool and comfortable. On cold winter mornings she moves down the bed to snuggle under the folded back duvet. We of course have to go earn her food money - she rules us with a benevolent paw of steel.

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  19. According to a 'scientific' survey about sleeping sides and personality:-

    left = happy; content; calm in a crisis
    right = grumpy; drama queen

    Were they correct?

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    1. That certainly held true in my marriage - I slept on the left and drama queen ex on the right!

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    2. Rebel, that makes me a content drama queen ..hmmm

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  20. Hey, when married 52 years you will want your own bed too! I cannot sleep with husband who snores, moves constantly, hates duvets, gets up to get rid of leg cramps, or visits the loo! I am the 'guest' in our cottage, enjoying my real linen sheets, my puffy duvet, the window open a wee bit, my own bathroom and I usually sleep without waking up until it's morning. Hotel and ship cabins are OK, we always get a king size bed and he's just about distanced enough for a few nights now and then - bless his heart. By the way, he swears he does NOT snore - even though I recorded him once years ago!!

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    1. once I held my husbands nose while he slept/snored. LOL
      He woke up with a start and said What's that ?
      I said What ???

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  21. I have a lovely big bed that I bought after my divorce. Cotton sheets are heaven and I love sleeping alone. Now I've put on weight I tend to snore so just as well I suppose. My ex didn't really snore (or maybe he did but he was always in the bar so how would I know), but he was a smoker and used to sound like a wind tunnel roaring down my ear. He also used to make little "popping sounds" - like blowing bubbles, so I would grab hold of his lower lip and just hang on. That wibbly, wobbly face kinda made me laugh! Anna

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  22. Had senior moment today and i think its down to your blog. We are having a weekend in Paris and in a chocolatier shop when a well known song came on. When you have lived with teenage boys you know every rapper known to man.
    " Ooh it's bulldog" i trilled to husband.
    "Who?" He asked. "Your know that Spanish rapper"
    "Do you mean pitbull?" Said OH.
    Oops yes i meant Mr Worldwide himself. So it's cos of all your bulldog tales i got confused. That and trying to Parlez francais.

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  23. I had to do a Google search to find out what you meant by "candlewick bedspreads". Ahh, chenille bedspreads. Yes, we had those as well when we were young. At the moment we are still with flannel sheets. I cannot sleep properly if there is a cat on the bed. As soon as I turn on my side and curl my legs up a bit, he (the cat) steals that little empty spot. Also, he asks to be let out around 3:00 a.m. I have no idea how you sleep with a dog / dogs in the bed with you. -Jenn

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    1. Chenille bedspreads are from my childhood and I love them ! I should get one for summer .. although it is warm here right now but the a/c freezes me at night.

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    2. Phyllis Diller wrote a funny book many years ago and my mom would break out laughing out loud, reading it . The one thing I remember all these years later was HouseHold Tips ... How to get the Chenille marks off your face.

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  24. William does look so contented, bless him.
    Each dog we've had always slept on our bed. Not much room left for us after two big Labs pinched the best spots ! One used to go up to bed early to make sure he had his favourite pitch, and the other one would jump up to make sure the door was open for him to get into the bedroom ! Strangely, none of the bitches has ever attempted to join us, and have always been content to sleep in their own beds.
    Wherever we are, my husband always sleeps on the side of the bed nearest the bathroom.

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  25. I sleep right, he sleeps left but the duvet travels to the left but the electric blanket ad mattress topper moves right. Every morning we tug backwards and forwards. Go figure! Dogs are forbidden. Sadly.

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  26. Twin beds and separate bedrooms don't generally happen until the 'shine' is gone and a sleep deprived spouse can no longer take the snoring, poking, kicking, pushing, cover stealing, and hitting.

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    1. yep, that describes my house perfectly!

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    2. Blimey, I am on my way out then... I think I will settle for the spare room with the small double.

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  27. We start out together in a King bed with two dogs that insist on sleeping under the covers. Once everyone is settled who ever drifts off first gets the King. The one still awake trundles to the guest room in blissful relief to enjoy cold sheets. Aaaah.

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  28. My partner and I sleep in different bedrooms, it's more normal than you think, it's possibly people that sleep together that are becoming unusual.

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  29. When my husband's snoring is on the quieter end of the spectrum I tell myself he is purring. At the louder snoring I poke him until he turns onto his side.
    As to the left side or right side of the bed, is that determined by standing at the foot of the bed looking at it? If that's the case I'm on the left and closest to the bathroom. Does that make me a double winner?

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  30. Got a pretty small bed in a very small room. The Boy Scout is 6'2" and 250lb snores like a bulldog with pneumonia but I'm pretty small and completely deaf without my hearing aids so it all works out. I wouldn't have it any other way.

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  31. Further rules re. bedroom etiquette...
    1) When a big fart is brewing turn buttocks to the side of the bed, lift the quilt cover and trumpet directly into the air. Trumping under the quilt and therefore trapping the foul air is considered the height of bad manners.
    2) Don't eat toast (or crumbly scotch eggs)in bed.
    3) Don't keep back copies of "Road Wars Studs" or "Red Hot Profs" under the mattress.

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    1. Me thinks you know me so well

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    2. Police porn is " chopper coppers"

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  32. We followed a progression from double/queen/king to separate rooms. We are still talking to each other.

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  33. I can identify strongly with those bedtime memories of nylong sheets etc.

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  34. There can be up to three cats on our bed during the day - one especially likes husband's pillow - but they are not on the bed at night as wake us up washing themselves.

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  35. I still have a hot water bottle.........or two. Separate rooms here too due to snoring and illness and age and after 37 years it's OK.
    Mention nylon sheets and I feel all peculiar! ((Shudder)) we had orange and purple - not together obviously.

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  36. Kind of off topic, but I met Shelley Winters once in the early 70's. I was at a kiddie park in Beverly Hills with my husband, our son, and another couple and their son. Shelley was with a younger man and a child, maybe her grandkid. Our friend was taking photos of our kids and Shelley asked him if he would take some of hers and she would make it worth his while if he would send them to her. She gave him an address, he took the photos, sent them to her and...never heard from her.

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  37. We do enjoy our King, which is invaded every now and then by Boudi the Yorkie, who normally has his own bed half-tucked under Mr. M's dresser. There's still something of an empty spot, as our dear Koko, 'til his passing, spent most of the night betwixt us, snoring along. I have to get in and get to sleep for, otherwise said snoring will do me in until well after midnight - and when the alarm's set for 4:45, that just won't do...

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  38. As Miranda Hart said - "Cold bed dance!"

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  39. We share a lot of similarities John! I always sleep on left side of bed and husband on right. He has the only bedside table. As a child I slept on the bottom of a bunk bed, had bright orange brushed nylon sheets and a brushed nylon nightie too! We had a paraffin heater in the bedroom and a linoleum floor. I didn't know what a duvet was until I was in my teens! I love how all your dogs have their own sleeping spots.

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  40. William is a darling! In Khartoum, North Africa, we had a huge Turkish bed. Grant always said he needs a bicycle to get over to my side! We only had one cat. Oh, how I hated those nylon sheets. And yes, we had candlewick bedspreads and hotwater bottles.

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  41. When we had the kids we bought a superking sized bed..we would all be able to get in to watch films etc., Now that it is just us it works perfectly as we can touch when we want to or not....and be unaware if the other one is still in the bed sometimes! but just of late my mister has started to go into another bedroom for some rest from my snoring...I have tried everything to stop, including plastic things stuck up my nose, to no avail....and I feel so guilty about it but have no control over it sadly. I remember the nylon sheets and the flannelette too! I also remember my dad buying us an electric blanket when they first came out and we were all too scared to get into the bed!

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  42. We don't like separate beds, we like a big bed and specifically bought a boat with a cross bed as they are larger.

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  43. I almost fell out of bed last night. Time we upgraded our double for a king size.

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  44. I have an enormous California king on which I cling to the left side. I could sleep on a camp cot. Usually I sleep alone since the husband decamped. The dogs are in their rooms (crates) so I occasionally let my cat sleep with me. He unfortunately drowls, likes to suck or chew on my hair or worst of all sleeps on my pillow with his weight on my head. We keep this as a special treat because I can only stand it every once in a while .

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  45. We sleep in separate rooms, each of us in queen size beds. I can't imagine actually sleeping with someone again, but we do at times have a cuddle in bed before I return to my own bed. We do manage to sleep in the same bed when travelling, if it is a very big bed.

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  46. We had those sheets too John. Brentford nylons eh? Horrible.

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  47. Candlewick bedspreads = boarding school.........'nuf said!

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  48. We have Bed Bliss since we discovered a latex and wool mattress on a spring-slat base. UNbeLIEVable.... my partner can get up and go to the loo and I don't notice he's gone, they just don't bounce the way sprung mattresses do. Certainly it's a King size bed which helps. And that's all the information you'll get from me, I'm much too coy to tell you more!

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  49. I have always slept in a double bed, since when I lived in my parents home .. my husband and I discussed the bigger beds but we agreed that we only took up a double beds worth of room :) and it requires a nice big room .. what if we moved to a place with small bedrooms ? I am now sleeping alone in that double bed ... now it is too big, I still sleep on the side .. my side.. the cats are happy to share .

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  50. I purchased my first 'adult bed' when I was 38. Prior to that I was still sleeping on the futon purchased by my parents during my uni days.

    I've always wanted separate rooms for my hubby and me. We've not the space, but I sure wish we did!

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  51. William looks so sweet. When the pharmacist and I got married, his mother proceeded to have the talk about how nice separate bedrooms were. She also divulge d they didn't have sex anymore after C arrived. I had never heard of not sleeping together when being married. That should have been my clue to not marry him. I did anyway and he preceded to get his own room. I've had my own bed for 13 years and I wouldn't allow anyone but cats nowadays. 😉 I have so many bad sleeping habits.

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  52. I have an American king-size bed. It's a size that does not exist in Europe and I can't get new linens for it. Carrying king-sized bed clothes in luggage leaves little room for clothes. Now the current mattress is getting old and I'm worried about how to replace it (we moved it from the US). I love the bed itself; we've had it for 34 years...

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  53. I have several books of those " Off the leash" cartons. They are brilliant if you are a dog owner ! The photo of William is very endearing. Was he really asleep or just pretending?

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  54. Here in Spain, we have a bed comparable to "queen-size" in the States (appropriate). In the States, however, we didn't just have a King-sized bed; we had a California King. We couldn't even find each other... and still the cats took up most of it. But we also have a long twin in one office for those nights (often) that one of us can't settle... or during winter when Jerry needs heat on all night!

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  55. O, John. Almost fell orf me chair laughing when presented with those first two pics.

    Have only one canine, and one single bed. She does, actually, curl up in HER bed when this households lights go out .... but guess where she is when i awake.

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  56. We have a nice full, almost Queen sized mattress.

    Once we went on a trip to the magnificent Biltmore Estate in Asheville, NC. During the tour we were taking to the gentleman's bedroom. Then the sitting room where hubby and wife could meet up to chat, play chess, whatever. Past that was the wife's room. All rooms were beautifully appointed and if that is the cash I had, I could live with that kind of set up.

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  57. We sleep in the same room when vacationing. I like to travel.

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  58. King bed for me...bigger is always better...

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  59. My husband and I had twin beds shoved close together and we'd have to hold a gun to the dog's head to get him to sleep with either one of us. It was like he didn't want to play favorites. After my husband died, the dog took over his bed, stretching out like he owns the place so I still have to keep the darn twin beds. LOL

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  60. With two menopausal women in one bed, you can bet that it was simply too hot to sleep together. I started sleeping in the guest bed. Ahhhh...

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  61. My sister bought a caravan to escape to when her partner does his nightshifts. She can't stand having to tiptoe around during the day while he tries to get some kip. You can't get more seperate than that!I call her trailer trash now! Mind you, it benefits him too since she snores like a trucker!

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  62. There's no dogs on our bed when we're in it (well we don't get into theirs it's only fair), but during the day when the sun streams through our bedroom window and their special quilt is chucked over our bedding they hog it for all they're worth.

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