Tuesday, 7 March 2017

Women's Problems!

The Prof runs a large and by all accounts successful University department with consummate ease.
The large stuff  he copes with.
My mind literally boggles with the scope of it all.
He doesn't , however, deal with the small stuff that well.
" I'm living in a midden!" He bellowed.
It was 5.45 am and he was boiling his breakfast eggs.
I could see his point. Winnie suffering from a bit of post op bladder weakness and had left a couple of puddles on the kitchen floor, puddles of which were added to by Mary who looks as though she is entering her first major season.
There was pee everywhere!
William, blind as a bat, walked merrily though the puddles!
" FILTH! FILTH EVERYWHERE!" The Prof bellowed some more.
His day was getting off to a dreadful start

I reached for the kitchen roll.


   

54 comments:

  1. You think he'd be used to it by now.

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  2. Considering that both of you are men I wouldn't call it "women's problems".

    U

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    2. LOL I know, ursala, it isn't poor Winnie scrubbing up puddles ..

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  3. Ursula, I think he's referring to Winnie's bladder weakness and Mary's season. Poor Chris, he's the fastidious sort who has to try very hard to cope with unexpected messes....

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    1. None of the women I know would put up with the man in the house bellowing about her problems .. they would probably pee on his floor or something .. :)

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    2. I hear ya. For some reason I'm reminded of the episode on "Roseanne" where youngest daughter Darlene gets her first period. She gets depressed because she's a tomboy and doesn't know how to cope with all the strange things happening to her body. That night, when she goes to bed, she sighs saying "I'll probably feel better tomorrow." Roseanne smiles, strokes Darlene's hair and says "Oh, honey. You won't feel better for another forty years."

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    3. Thank you, Nick. I had no idea you thought me dense. Fact is, whatever the problem, it's neither Winnie's nor Marie's. Animals don't have problems leaving their mark. Humans do.

      Anyway, what do you mean Chris is fastidious? All gays, known to me are fastidious. Comes with, for reasons I'd rather not go into this moment, with the territory. And then there is the exception to the rule ... namely, our dear John. What's a bit of dog something to a psychiatric nurse used to wiping human bodies? Nothing. That's what.

      U

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    4. I've never thought you dense, Ursula. I was just saying.

      All gays are fastidious? Not the ones I know. You must attract the finicky ones.

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  4. Picture this ... our first dog when newly married, was a Borzoi.
    The most beautiful dog ever. Even though she was huge, she was delicate and ladylike :)
    When she went into heat, my husband had to walk her, with a pair of ladies underpants and a pad .. he did it. He was braver than brave lol

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    1. sorry..computer glitch

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    2. Nice story.. first 'couple' of guys I ever met were buying a Triumph TR7 off me, came to view the car with their standard poodle in pink nickers with a huge Red satin love heart on the bum (with the pom pom tail sticking out) having taken their girl to be serviced. Have never forgotten that picture in my mind.. lovely guys they were too!!

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  5. How did he miss seeing the puddles? Couldn't he have dropped towels on them, left them for you to clean up, then gotten on with his day? What a drama queen. Chris, get a grip!

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  6. Do you ever think what the Martians must be thinking from outer space when they see us humans picking up after our Dogs? They must think each dog has its own servant!!
    (I know ... weird thoughts.. well it is only 3.41am here in Aus)
    Sorry to hear Winnie is still a bit incontinent. Bella has improved out of sight although I have noticed and felt a couple of puddles too! Sounds like we have the same delegation from our husbands as I get the 'dirty' jobs too and the tossing outside of the frogs... he does the spiders and snakes but thank goodness the snakes are outside!! Going back to bed now.....

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  7. " FILTH! FILTH EVERYWHERE!" . He sounds like Donald Trump banging on about fake news and the FAILING New York Times. Albert had better be careful in case Chris tries to grab him.

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    1. bwhahahahahahaha! great image, YP!

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    2. Echoing anne marie ...

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  8. Time for Mary's operation too. Surely you learned from poor Winnie's recent troubles. And/ or sanitary panties for both.

    Lizzy

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  9. It's not easy being a lady. Or the men that live with us. Scotch eggs for everybody!

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  10. Time for a second honeymoon...;)
    Greetings Maria x

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  11. I am most decidedly male and both of you are too. It seems to me that in a marriage of equals, whoever encounters the problem ought to try to fix it. It is not enough to stand in the middle of a room and bellow "FILTH! FILTH EVERYWHERE!" My wife wouldn't stand for that and neither should you, John. Chris has two hands -- he should use them to help out around the house.

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  12. Nice "Oscar and Felix" routine you guys have going there, lol!

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    1. (starts to hum the theme song from "the odd couple)

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  13. Maybe you need some puppy pads for a few weeks, save everyones sanity. Lets hope Albert hadnt been licking the butter and then tooting on it! lmao

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  14. The puppy pads work very well for my weenies.

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  15. Did last night's anniversary meal get the thumbs up, even if this morning's puddles didn't?

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    1. Yes, we had some nice cards and gifts and best wishes!

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  16. Just a normal start to the day then !

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  17. Keep a stack of free local newspapers.

    Howard's answer to almost every crisis is to spray with white vinegar and put down newspaper.

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  18. A "pissy" way to start the day.

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    1. dingdingding, comment of the day!

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  19. I know and sympathize with both of you about the feeling of constant messes that one can't keep up with, but as usual you have made a hilarious piece of writing out of the bedlam, John :)

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  20. The prof and I have the same birthday. Unfortunately, my partner does not share your birthday so on such mornings here, he does not reach for the kitchen roll.

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  21. My husband has always, without any conscience, ignored puke pee and shite from kids and pets on account of his "weak stomach." After 43 years,he's got more sense than to make any comments about my housekeeping.

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  22. When I was growing up we had a dog, Heidi, who became incontinent after a stroke. She slept on a piece of carpet in the kitchen and mum would wash the carpet and mop the floor first thing in the morning every single day for the rest of Heidi's life which was about another six years.
    I hope Winnie gets her pelvic floor back!

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  23. Thought you might have reached for the dishcloth!

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  24. The prof knows obscure words, too, and uses them with ease.

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  25. Ah, I dream of living in a midden. All those Red Kites swooping down and scooping up, just like the days when people actually had middens.

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  26. aw geeze, chris, lighten up!

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  27. Funnily enough, it's international women's day!

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  28. Bless his heart, I hope his day improved.

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  29. Not the best morning,i take it.

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  30. LOL, reminds me of the "You are a Filth Wizard" comment in an episode from Black books. "Look at me! I'm eating scrambled eggs out of a shoe with a comb!"

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  31. Yuck! My sympathies.

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  32. These are the times that try men's souls... I hope everything is all right now.

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  33. Our house is a bit like a primitive old farm house, but no pee on the floor thank goodness.

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  34. Banter at breakfast.

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  35. "I reached for the kitchen roll and handed it to him."

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  36. Having this morning cleaned up two piles of cat sick and found a small pile of cat poo lurking behind the bath (she carries out dirty protests if the litter tray isn't cleaned out quickly enough!) I can only sympathise with you and be grateful I have kitchen roll and Dettol. Hope Winnie is feeling better. xx

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  37. The prof should be grateful he doesn't have to deal with those same problems at work (although I would be going out for breakfast if I lived amid that)!

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