Thursday, 30 March 2017

Red Handed

Some of the stolen daffs! 

I was caught stealing this morning.
It all took place during a particularly heavy downpour which the old dogs and I got caught in after delivering a cheque to the trustees of the village hall. The cheque was a donation towards the Hall's decoration from the Flower Show committee, part of last year's donations ...and it was the only dry thing on me when Jean Smith opened her door to receive it. 
She offered me a spare coat, but I told her I was beyond caring, which was true. By the time we got back down the lane we all looked as though we had been thrown into a swimming pool. 
Now the piece of land behind our cottage has recently been sold. It is also covered in daffodils, survivors of the recent land clearance, so realizing that I couldn't get any wetter, the dogs  and I traipsed onto the plot and I helped myself to the flowers, something I have done for the past decade.
I had picked around two dozen daffs when the white van bounced through the gap in the wall and a middle aged guy sat in the drivers seat and frowned at me.
Red handed I decided to front it all out so I waved the flowers rather gaily at him and walked over as he got out of the van.

"Are You the new owner ? " I asked
" I am " he said
" I'm sorry but I've been stealing your daffs" I trilled lightly
" So I see" he answered without smiling.

It was all rather awkward for a moment until Winnie, who was sick to the back teeth of getting wet, pulled herself free of me and marched quicksticks off the plot into the direction of home with all of the grace of a pygmy hippo!

" She's a big girl" the man noted as she thundered past and as I agreed, I could see that the ice around the stolen flowers had suddenly been broken. 

A good job I thought later, upsetting neighbours is never a good idea.





 

53 comments:

  1. Phew! Looks like all will be well.

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  2. I got caught stealing camellias from a bush in front of a house where no one lives but the owner lives in a trailer behind the house and is a creepy old man and he caught me red handed.
    I've altered my walk for the rest of my life so as not to run into him again.

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    1. Now I want to go on Amazon and buy ''To Kill a Mockingbird'. I read it at school and you have reminded me that I want to read it again..

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    2. Didnt scout knock the heads off the flowers from that old lady's garden

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    3. No, it was her brother, Jem. (He knocks the tops off every camellia bush Mrs Dubose owns.)

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  3. Sooooo embarrassing! I feel for you...

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  4. Oh, my! A small bouquet at the market for daffodils costs 8 bucks. I'd rather steal them, but not get caught, of course!

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  5. I would probably have been caught with a shovel!

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    Replies
    1. Did you want to bury a body?

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  6. You clearly have never worked in the law, its small print and as a defense lawyer. The first thing you do NOT say is: "I have been stealing ..." before you have even been accused. What you say is: "I have helped your daffodils to not go to waste." Which is true.

    If you want "stealing" talk to my parents. We usually lived near a forest. And for reasons best left unexplored I never questioned why they'd go out for "a walk" late evening, in the dark, the night before Christmas Eve (Christmas Eve being when the motherland puts up its tree). Thus we were always graced with the largest, the most magnificent that my parents were able to carry between the two of them. This was not to SAVE money; they didn't have any. It was to see delight in their children's eyes when the tree was lit (real candles) on Christmas Eve.

    U

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  7. Dogs are great for getting out of any jam

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  8. Well, he wasn't using them so why would he care? It's not like you were digging them up to transplant them! And since no one has been living there I see no reason for the blooms to go to waste.

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  10. You can't beat a good trill, John. Nice photo - love the lamp.

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  11. Is there no end to your embarrassment. Flying crocs one day and filched flowers the next. Do you go scrumping too? I wish you were my neighbour, what mischief we could get up to, I'm a croc type of girl myself much to my family's disgust.

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    Replies
    1. I have been known to scrump!
      As for mischief.....i am playing a joke on a local at the moment.....( cant say any more)

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  12. Gorgeous daffs! Worth the risk but I'd have denied it :)

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    1. I was standing in the middle of his plot of land with them in my hand.....

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  13. Leave it up to a Pup to do the Right Thing at the Right Moment ..God bless her, I can just picture her short legged plump little self waddling back home . I love Winnie.

    I like what bitch on the blog said .. I guess that means I will have to say , Look What I Found !! lol ... that was what my children said when they got into mischief ..

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  14. eh, now you know you won't be able to "appropriate" any more daffs from that plot!

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  15. Oh dear, I hope he warms up. Next time you see him take over some baking as a welcome gift.

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  16. Don't think of it as stealing. You were Liberating them!

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  17. Don't think of it as stealing. You were Liberating them!

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  18. What do you think he is going to build on the land John?

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    Replies
    1. There is planning permission for a bungalow libby

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  19. They do look beautiful though and warm the heart.

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  20. Dog are just the best.

    cheers, parsnip and thehamish

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  21. It could only happen to you.

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  22. A Daff-felon! I suspected!

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  23. Really you have helped him out as they wont go to seed and he will have a better display next year... everyone's a winner

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  24. It sounds like you missed a golden opportunity to put the daffs in your back pocket and show the fellow your best Morrissey dancing impression....ah well there's always next time!
    Arilx

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  25. You should have said "I've picked you some flowers, welcome to Trelawnyd" and handed them over. Or maybe not.

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  26. Nothing like a bulldog with a mind of her own to get things moving again.

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  27. Good for Winnie. If the man is to build a bungalow the land will be churned up anyway... perhaps you ask for the bulbs ?!

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  28. Isn't that life -- you're good for ten years and then get caught the first time you step off the path!! Eventually there will be a chance to make it up ... one hopes ...

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  29. If I was waving daffodils I would not be waving them gaily. When you wave daffodils gaily do you raise one leg and point your spare hand westwards in the manner of an Egyptian? Do you have to flutter your eyelashes too?

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  30. My dad used to nip into people's gardens and take sneaky cuttings. How daring is that! My brother is proud of him! xxx

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  31. It's not well known, but Wordsworth's first draft of his immortal poem read "a host of golden, stolen daffodils." Unlike you, however, he didn't have the nerve to flaunt his criminality and so edited out the word "stolen."

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  32. They do look very nice in the photo, John. If the new next door neighbour walks past, sees them, will he think you're flaunting them !

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  33. Replies
    1. Just what I was thinking.

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    2. You can rely on our gorgeous girl to do diffuse the situation !

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  34. Bet there's a barbed-wire fence springing up during the night around the plot, alongwith a 'Trespassers will be prosecuted' sign!!

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  35. Dogs can be good at that.

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  36. Is there no end to your embarrassment. Flying crocs one day and filched flowers the next. Do you go scrumping too? I wish you were my neighbour, what mischief we could get up to, I'm a croc type of girl myself much to my family's disgust.

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  37. Why didn't you criminalize yourself beyond redemption and nick the bulbs as well. They'd have gone well in your garden next spring.

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  38. Your photo is a beautiful still-life. The guy could have been nicer, it's not like he was going to use the daffs. Maybe if they come in with earth movers to build you could dig some of the daffs up? Secretly, late at night.

    I had to look up scrumping.

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  39. Sounds like the man was OK to me. Just a normal reaction. He will probably fence it in and that will be pretty normal too for a landowner.

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  40. You probly could have explained that it's been vacant for a decade and that you won't nick anything once he moves in. :D

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  41. Once again . . .
    Winnie "smoothed the way!"

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  42. The daffodils are beautiful worth getting caught.

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