Saturday, 4 March 2017

Flex Them Muscles!

The Prof has just gone to the gym for a 1:1 session with the fitness coach.
No doubt his mentor is a buff 22 year old called Luke who has thighs like tree trunks.
I 'm not jealous of a gym bunny no older than a pair of my socks.
I've got staying power.

Without the Prof around for an hour the cottage is quiet. The radio has been turned off and the windows opened to the sunshine and the crows bickering in the Church trees.
I've got my coffee, the dogs have been walked and fed and it's time to sit and think.

I spoke to a guy this morning who lost his wife suddenly. She had been ill for sure, and I suspect was expected to die at some point but he lost her when he and I expect she was not ready.
He knows I am a nurse and asked me questions I was in no way in a position to answer but what I could share was the simple fact that younger people compensate for their disease or their condition when they are poorly, so often deteriorate quickly and drastically when their reserves fail them.
Sometimes, no mater what is done nothing can change the final outcome.

The man shook my hand firmly after our conversation. I don't know if it was my words that helped or just the chance for him to ask the question that gave him some comfort.
Grief needs an outlet me thinks.

When he drove off, I realised that I didn't even know his name.

As I type this Bulldog and Welsh terrier bitch, 
Share a place in the sun

63 comments:

  1. Your cottage looks lovely and the girls have a good spot

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    1. It looks crap in dismal weather!
      Thanks kylie x

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  2. You can't quite get to the new modern cordless phone yet. I hated the way the spiral cord would tangle and worst twist, and never look neat. We are looking after our friend's dog, Jack, and he seeks out anywhere in our place where he can get direct warm sun, perhaps a result of him feeling too cold from our aircon cooling.

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    1. We also have a black bakerlite phone from the 1950s that works but the bell is variable!

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  3. How I long for a spot in the sun... xo

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    1. Come to my house and get yer arse down on that carpet x

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  4. "The Bulldog and the Bitch" could be an album cover by one of those Welsh supergroups. Maybe The Stereophonics - featuring John "Slowhand" Gray on tambourine.

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    1. I'm better on the triangle

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  5. Your cottage is idyllic. Doggies look very contented sitting in the sunshine. I am sure your words brought great comfort to the man without a name.

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  6. good to see miss winnie today! are you doing something special for anniversary #2?

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    1. Its on monday ! I'll make a meal!

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  7. The problem with being a nurse is that people think you know everything. I often ask my son things and expect him to know all the answers just because he's a nurse. I know though that your words would have comforted that poor man, you're a good person john. Love the doggies in the sun.
    Briony
    x

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  8. I think I value Nurses more than most doctors.
    In my life, there have been 2 life changing events, where doctors showed up, said a few words with no emotion or warmth then left me sitting in shambles, while nurses were the ones who comforted and soothed.
    Give me a nurse any day !! And they do know everything .. about being kind human beings.

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    1. Same here Broad, there's no question Nurses have the tougher job. Sweet Winnie is lucky to be in such good hands. X

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  9. I think you must just exude comfort John and people and animals are drawn to you because of that. It's a rare gift.

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  10. Pretty picture above, can we get a picture of "Luke" next? Thank you for being there for a stranger.

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  11. I think people open up to strangers more than family members. I am sure that you did indeed give him an outlet for his grief when maybe there is no one else he can turn to. Great pic of the dogs sharing the sunshine patch!

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  12. I can tell you John that whatever you said your words would be a comfort, a few words, and time spared, mean a great deal. x

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  13. You're right about grief needing an outlet and how fortunate for that man that you were willing to listen. The dogs look lovely in their sunny spot...

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  14. I lost my wife suddenly one afternoon though she had been living with the after effects of multiple cerebral and cardiac infarcts for 8 years during which I was her primary care giver. I however had a number of people to see me through my period of coming to grips with the loss. Yes, I can relate to that man's need to talk to someone about his loss.

    Incidentally, I am Rummuser and have come here following the comments by one John giving this URL on my blog post on Food For Thought.

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    1. You were luck to have a few outlets ...so many people have no one..welcome

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  15. Just a sincere listening ear is enough to help. Winnie back in her place...a beautiful sight!

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  16. We all want answers, especially when there are none. Kind words, though, ease the troubled heart. The man chose the right person to speak to.

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  17. When my husband died suddenly, we had only been living back in the US for a matter of months. We knew no one where we lived.
    Every afternoon, a little old lady would come to my door and give me something she had cooked or baked. Talk to me a minute, then leave. Total strangers came to the door and left things for me, did things for me, when it snowed a stranger plowed the driveway and shoveled the walk. I knew none of these people.
    Most of them I never saw again.
    I was still half insane with grief but I have never forgotten one of those people ( angels) who came to do a simple kind thing for me, a total stranger.

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    1. Strangers have more power than loved ones especially in the sharing of emotions

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  18. A fitness coach is a decent idea, John. I pay for mine in eight week, expensive chunks, put the hour on my calendar every week and go. She's kept me from falling again. It's been 16 months since I went down and broke my arm at the shoulder. It may become important to you some day, and you'll be off to the gym, too.

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  19. I bet you are hoping he is going to come back bigger and harder now. (It may take me some time to tire of this little joke...)

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  20. I'm adoring that phone sitting the on the desk, how vintage! But not as much as the cute pups!!!! The expressions of each.

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  21. Such a beautiful photo of Winnie and Mary in the sun... Brought tears to my eyes.

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  22. I think the value of Hospice services are so important to the dying as to the loved ones left behind. John, your training in nursing and as a suicide prevention worker make you just the right person to talk to.

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  23. Best wishes to you and yours, especially dear Winnie. I've recently been in an emergency room myself...and received great treatment. xo

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  24. Wish my socks lasted 22 years...

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  25. Enjoying some rays of 🌞 sunshine, my cats enjoy it too. Maybe the warmth soothes their aches of their golden years? May you and the Prof and all the clan enjoy your weekend. Gabby

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  26. With all that's going on in your busy day, how kind you were to take time to chat to the poor man. Nothing will ever change the loss of his wife, but your words, and just your time would surely make a big difference. He would know that you cared.
    Lovely photo of the girls in the sunshine. My goodness, how well Winnie looks, who would think she'd had major surgery yesterday ! Wishing her a speedy recovery, and you all a happy weekend free from stress.

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    1. She's just demolished her antibiotics along with a packet of chicken roll

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  27. Loving the photo of the girls in the sun. Mine always find it where ever it is during the day.

    Agree with everyone else that your kind words will have made a huge difference to that poor man's grief. Some people just have a talent to allow people to open up to them

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  28. Yellow certainly brings some cheer this time of the year . . .
    Nice touch . . . on that window ledge . . .
    Liked that "sunning pair" too . . .

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  29. Ah, Winnie and Mary! Has Mary calmed down as she's gotten older? She looks quite sedate there. I hope she stayed to warm up Winnie's back!

    There is something about talking to a professional unconnected with a loved one's illness that allows one to cover more "what if's" without fear of censure. Perhaps that's what the nameless man needed right then. You were in the right position to give that rare help.

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    1. No she is still mad as a hatter.......though has been gentle with the post op winnie

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    2. Good to hear that. I wonder if she knows somehow that she has to be good, and - if so - how ...

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  30. What an interesting fun site this looks to be -- love the sense of humor and all the animals -- even the humans. Albert and Winnie have stolen my heart.

    Yes, let's hear it for the nurses! My health care work counted on the information they gave me and I returned their generous support.

    Recall my mother's reaction when she observed to me her last hospital visit she had a male nurse -- the first of that gender she had ever had. She told me she had been so impressed with the care he provided that once she came home she phoned the hospital administration to praise him. She was of an older generation born in the late 1800s when a young woman showing her bare ankles was considered risque, and nurses were always women.

    Appreciated your comment at my blog. Before the recent election I observed to one and all that "He's showing us who he is -- we should believe him."

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    1. It made for an interesting read.....especially as your commentators were all american

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  31. Is that Winnie's Hollywood pose....the way she's looking at the camera she looks like one of the fabulous actresses from the 1940s!
    Arilx

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  32. Grief NEEDS an outlet. Thank you for being there.
    Loved the girls soaking up the sun.

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  33. Happy you could assist the man with his grief, John.
    But like one other above I couldn't help but notice that PHONE!!....LOVE IT!

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  34. Showing that you cared about his grief helped.

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  35. I'm sure just being able to talk to you and the very reassuring response you gave him made a big difference. The girls are adorable. Winnie seems to be doing well!

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  36. Losing a loved one is so very hard, even when you know it is going to happen. It is hard also being in the field and witnessing it over and over and not getting cold hearted. A wall is put up to enable the job to get done, whatever the situation be, but its so important to remember afterwards to always lend a shoulder for them to cry upon. Thank you for lending him yours....

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  37. John, I think you were put here on this earth for a reason, one of which is this kind of simple and warm healing with your words that you don't even recognize in your self. Bless you.

    I love the picture of the girls, it is really sweet, a frameable like so many others of your photos.

    And PS? You have a rotary phone? I Love them and mourn the loss of mine, the sound of the dial is so reminiscent.

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  38. With my mum sick right now, I have been contemplating mortality a lot again lately. After a long time of illness gave me time and reason to mull over life and death, I've been happy to go for years, but at 76 mum isn't ready. Hopefully she has a loing left with us yet, but I hope this time of having to face mortality helps her to come to more of a place of acceptance of the cycles of life. I don't think not thinking about things helps. Ps. That is such a gorgeous pic of the girlfriends!

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  39. I love how you are able to share a place in the sun for so many people you meet.

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  40. You are a comfort. The girls seem very content.

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  41. When my people died (3 years apart) there were those who comforted, and sadly one or two who did not. One never forgets either.

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  42. You and Mum seem to have a lot in common. When my Dad goes out our house becomes quiet too. She turns everything off just like you and we usually find a quiet spot outside, under the shade of a tree, where I gnaw on a bone while she reads a good book and sips a cup of tea.

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  43. I love the photo you posted today so sweet!!!

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  44. There are fitness centers opening alarming regularity. It's the latest money making racket. That lady (Dr Barbara Somebody I think) who walked from John O'Groats to Lands End on a diet of lettuce leaves didn't need a fitness centre.

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  45. Doctor Barbara Moore. She walked the length of Britain in 23 days. I remember it well. She was on all the front pages.

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  46. Jealous of the phone. Love it. Adore the picture of the dogs in the sunlight.

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    1. Me too on both..lovely to see Winnie enjoying the sun with companion Mary..what lovely lasses 😊

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