Tuesday, 14 March 2017

Days Out

I'm running late today.....I was running late yesterday too.....didn't watch The Walking Dead until gone 11pm....apologies for not answering any comments.
I'm going to London today ( hence typing this in bath) I also am nursing a pulled groin which was the result of doing the splits on a slippy gravestone this early this morning rather than the lumbering around on the badminton court I did last night.
I am reminded here of Elise's embarrassing story from yesterday's blog, for like her, I am still blushing at the way I sort of crumpled to the floor, like a bowl of thick trifle hitting concrete from a great height.
Thank God no one saw me.
The last time I embarrassed myself publically was on Saturday when I coughed and farted very loudly in the queue at the spar garage!

62 comments:

  1. It must be in the air... I fell over a hose last night in the twilight, but only the chooks saw me! Luckily I don't have any painful reminder as I only hit the grass but blessing a gravestone with the splits must've hurt.. an ice pack won't give you much joy either. Hope the pain eases soon. Elle x

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  2. You have me laughing hysterically at the thought of your cough and fart!!

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    1. Me too! But laughing can be a dangerous thing to do . . . .

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    2. me too, frances!

      "fart proudly" - benjamin franklin

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  3. so you went embarrassment free for a day, then?

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    1. Yeah, like that will ever happen

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  4. Enjoy London. What're you going to do? The National Portrait Gallery is my No 1, then on to the V&A, or one of the Gardens, as its summer perhaps. Oh, you've made me jealous!

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    1. Royal Ballet this evening! Who says I'm not a classy bitch

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    2. Maybe your body was trying out for the ballet this morning.

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    3. Do they take 16 stone poofs in the ballet corps nowadays?

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    4. Do they take 16 stone poofs in the ballet corps nowadays
      .........
      I am reminded of the Disney movie, Fantasia ... ballet dancing hippos..

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    5. all y'all are KILLING me; I just peed meself laughing! no farting though.

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  5. What were you doing prowling around in the graveyard in the dead of night? Are you a necrophile or something? No wonder you are running away to London.

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    1. It was 6 am and it was an early morning wee stop

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    2. You had to wee or one of the pups ? because there is a huge difference in who wees in the graveyard and gets away with it.

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  6. Typing in the bath? A pulled groin? You almost had me excited. Your last sentence killed the passion.

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    1. You need to get out more

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  7. Oh John - do behave yourself in London. They may not take kindly to some of your more eccentric traits - especially the last one !

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    1. Ive just had a rubber omlet in first class ! So i shall be farting like Queen mary's hooter by the time we reach Euston

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    2. Will they be supplying the locals with those smog masks they wear in China?

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  8. OMG - groins, farts and falling over... What were you doing climbing on a gravestone in the first place? God saw you...

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    1. Mary has a regular " wee " spot by the snowdrops!

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    2. Snowdrops? It gets worse. are they white or yellow? If Norman Wisdom had dogs, then he would have had a blog like yours, I imagine.

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  9. Bloody hell .... just another crazy day in John's world :-)

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  10. Hmmmm . . . reading about farts, pee, pulled groin, gravestone slipping, bath time typing . . .
    Hmmmm . . . must be John's World . . .
    (Delightful it is, following along with you!)

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  11. Reading about my chaotic and untidy dirty little world makes you all thankful me thinks

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    1. Nope .. makes me feel sad .. lonely .. dogless... weeless .. fartless ... i have an empty life when I read your adventures.

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  12. You are hilarious! Sorry, not making fun of the pulled groin, that gotta be painful. But the coughing and farting - heh-heh-heh. Just curious, do people move away from you when you do that? Or do they just do they giggle?

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  13. I was trying to think of an embarrassing moment and cannot think of one, now I'm sad, I realise my life is boring!
    Greetings Maria x

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  14. You'll be able to supply the extra percussion, this evening. Is it 'Sleeping Beauty'?

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  15. I'm seriously giggling so hard I can barely type...I hope you can get around London and have a good time. As for the falling, coughing and farting, you are not alone. My exploits are noteworthy.

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  16. I'm so proud of you! You went two days without embarrassing yourself publicly. Is that possibly a new record? But so sorry about the pulled groin. Hope the tub soak helped a bit.

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  17. Years ago, my late Mum decided she’d like to visit Fortnum and Mason. On entry, she farted loudly, and promptly left, mortified. Not sure she ever went back! Hope your groin is soon on the mend. Perhaps some extra grippy shoes for graveyard walking might be required.

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  18. Last week I went right through the floor of a house I was inspecting. In my defense, the floor was rotten. Unfortunately I had witnesses and have been nursing bruised arm and ego :/

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  19. I hope Mary isn't peeing on someone's grave! On second thought....so what!

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  20. Enjoy the ballet.

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  21. Last night as I went to turn out the light while holding my supper dishes I slipped on a toy and was most grateful no one was there to witness. Isn't it odd how ridiculous we feel when we succumb to gravity in ungainly ways?

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  22. Be careful. Who knows what else is out there to trip you up.

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  23. "like a bowl of thick trifle hitting concrete from a great height." What a wonderful description. I hope you didn't splatter in all directions.

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  24. What's life without a little embarrassment now and again. Keeps us humble.

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  25. When I was a teen girl in school, with little self confidence and a lot of bashfulness, I ran to class out of the rain, into the classroom full of people and teacher .. wet shoes hit tile floor, slid out from under me, up went my feet, down went me. My teacher rushed over, afraid I had cracked my head on the tile floor.
    All I could think was that when I fell, the boys saw my underwear.

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  26. 'Beauty' does have a number of trumpet moments so you'll have to wait for those if you've just got to sneak one out - but please spare the 'Rose Adagio'!

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  27. Oh, dear! And ouch! If it helps to know, when tired & in a hurry, I've tripped on flat, dry pavement in a busy parking lot on a sunny day. It's my super power. That and baking cookies (biscuits in the U.K.) which could be used as artillery in the army.

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    1. Everyone should have a Super Power .. as long as it is paired with baking biscuits.

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  28. The next time I hear someone fart publicly I am going to say 'You're so John Gray'! :)

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  29. I hope you are not wearing your pajamas under your pants and have cleaned out you pockets of syringes, meds and bags of poo.
    I remember many stories of you and your things that are always floating around you.

    Have a great time,
    cheers, parsnip

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  30. You never fail to make me laugh, John (well, except when you make me cry). Likening yourself to the trifle was the bit that got me laughing out loud....you do have a way with words! Hope the groin pain eases soon.

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  31. What I can't understand is why we scramble to get right back up again after falling. Why can't we just lie there for a moment of contemplation and renewal??

    Pulled groin sounds painful. Take care in London and enjoy yourself.

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    1. Jenny, that is a perfectly brilliant thought.
      When I slipped and fell once, icy sidewalks etc , I jumped up because I was getting soaked in ice water lying there.
      I think it is also because people want to run and hide in humiliation :)

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    2. Yes, the humiliation part is likely to blame. I know it is for me :)

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  32. Hope you heal quickly. Nothing worse than when a person can't trust their own butt not to embarrass them in public! Been there!

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  33. We should all exchange phone numbers and the next time one of us falls, we should lie there where we landed and call one of us :)


    giggling at the thought

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  34. Ok, so now i hope you stuck a whistle up your behind and tried to keep in tune. You are such a hoot..pun intended.

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  36. You are just too much! Farting and doing splits oh my! Hope the groin is better...

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  37. "...like a bowl of thick trifle hitting concrete..."
    That, right there, is why I love reading your blog. Hope all is less painful now.

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