Saturday, 21 January 2017

Gravitas

A rough looking type and his missus parked their car behind the cottage in order to check over the plot of land which is up for sale just up the lane
He half blocked old Trevor's driveway and returning home Trevor beeped his horn for the bloke to move.
" You can get a fucking bus through there!" the man snapped angrily and taking an instant dislike to him I stopped the dogs as I passed
" He's an old man and he needs you to move your car!" I said carefully giving the man a very direct look and irritably he did as he was instructed, scowling at me as he did so
Only when I returned home did I realise what I was wearing


My " plucked chicken" hat does not quite give me the gravitas I thought I possessed!

46 comments:

  1. Hopefully you have put off the 'rough looking type' from buying up the land!

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  2. Well, if that hat doesn't dissuade him from buying the land next to you, I don't know what will! LOL

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  3. And I see your ahead of the trend. I hear those hats will be all the rage next winter. Lol.

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  5. Hope he doesn't buy the plot of land, you do not want people like that nearby.
    Briony
    x

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  6. Oh, John, this is why I love you so much! Hahaha!

    Cheers! xx

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  7. Actually, it's the very reason why he took your comment seriously.

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  8. You may have dissuaded him from buying the land right then and there! -Jenn

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  9. Apparently your steely eyed glare made up for the drumsticks. It takes a big tough guy to wear a plucked chicken hat.

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  10. Reminds of New Year's Eve at the nursing home. I was facilitating a party for the residents and was wearing a lovely tiara with stars bouncing on wires springing up from it. On my way out of the building I stopped in on a dying patient. In the dimmed lighting her family gazed at me open mouthed. I had forgotten about the tiara and still wonder if they thought I had wafted in to take Mum on her final journey.

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  11. I think he might have been put off buying. I think the hat looks chic!!

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  12. You should get everyone in the village to have a silly hat ready in case he shows up again. Actually yours isnt silly its daft.

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  13. Hahaha...The seriousness of your approach to this man, and the chicken hat...he probably won't be buying the land now!

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  14. The plot of land is up for sale for only £90,000 - loose change for a university professor and a highly paid egg producing entrepreneurial nursing professional/ male model. Putting on my independent financial adviser's hat, I would say get in there and buy the land. Then either let it remain undeveloped or get in a reliable building firm to erect the new house. You will make a mint.

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    1. We couldnt see how much on the estate agents' web site....how on earth did you find it yp?

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    2. http://www.rightmove.co.uk/commercial-property-for-sale/property-63712121.html

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    3. By the way Peter Large is a great name for an estate agent or maybe a pornstar?

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  15. Are you on a fitness programme John ? I kind of assumed you were when you passed on my offer of a lift yesterday evening on the way back from the garage . I fancy losing some weight , walking is a great way . Tuesday's and Wednesday's are my open nights ,.....up for it ?

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  16. Yes! I can start tuesday early evening?

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    1. Put it in the diary !!! What time will you be turning up in the Lycra ?

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  17. I can't decide if this reminds me more of a soap opera or a sitcom ...

    I do hope you get good neighbours. And good on you for speaking up to the man about his car.

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  18. I don't know. I think it put the fear of god in him. or the fear of you.

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  19. Plucking hell, he obviously thought you meant business.

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  20. Hopefully you've scared him off!

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  21. It's not the hat that makes the man. It's the man that makes the hat.

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  22. Ahhh John you gave me a good laugh this morning.. love the hat.

    And land ... well in 5 years that land will look cheap, its a finite commodity and will always go up in value so money in the bank with better interest. Add peace, no nasty neighbours - what price to preserve that.

    Watch out though with Yorkshire Pud putting it out there you may have a fan or two fighting you for it...

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  23. Well, I wouldn't have argued with anyone wearing a hat like that either !

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  24. I second that Coppa's girl! If I was his wife I would insist we move elsewhere - so two good things at one stroke of sartorial genius.

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  25. Your version of the 'Pussy Hat', John!!
    Everyone wearing them over here in solidarity with women's rights around the world.

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  26. Your story made my day brighter. Good for you for standing up for your neighbors and for staring down this arsehole. Your taste in fashion is a bit questionable, though!

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  27. He must have thought 'only real hard cases would dare to walk the streets wearing a plucked chicken hat' or he was simply too scared to argue with someone who is obviously the village idiot 😉

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  28. Maybe your hat and tone motivated the jerk to look elsewhere for land! Fingers crossed.

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  29. In Oz we would affectionately call you a Dag. :)

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  30. I despie reading this. What a jerk.
    I will light a candle tonight so he will NOT buy the lot !
    At the Womans March today many Women wore "Pink Pussy" knitted hats to march in. So hopefully your plucked chicken hat
    worked it magic.

    cheers, parsnip

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  31. Maybe he looked at the hat and assumed you were some local weirdo he should get away from ASAP....

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  32. You stated the obvious and he was shamed into doing the right thing.....And the hat sealed the deal !!

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  33. Oh, but it does give you the "crazy" that sometimes works even better in these situations.

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  34. That chicken hat is pretty sweet. Speaking of hats, I was surrounded by pussy hats in a variety of shades of pink yesterday at our local Women's March. Good stuff.

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  35. Bahahaha OMG that hat!!!!!!!!

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  36. It may have radiated enough weirdness that would cause him to wonder if you were packing...

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