Monday, 23 January 2017

Garfield Had It Right


I was going to blog about those chance conversations you have in the street, when you live in an odd little place like Trelawnyd, but a set of strange morning circumstances have taken over somewhat and these have overshadowed a somewhat surreal conversation I had with Mrs Frazer outside the pensioner bungalows yesterday which culminated with her pulling down her blouse in order if I could confirm her GP's preliminary diagnosis of shingles!


Now, the sun is shining, and all is well with the world.
Earlier, this was not quite the case.
I was out last night until 1.30 am and crawled into bed around a quarter to two.
The Prof's alarm went off just after 5 am I was due to drive him to the station at 6 am in order to catch the Edinburgh train!
You with me?
Anyhow things were ok until I dropped him at the station where he realised that he had forgotten to locate the whereabouts of an important document.
No problem.......could I find it and email him the fact!
He caught the train
I drove home and ripped the cottage to pieces to locate the document
No luck.
The prof got off his train somewhere in England, and promptly caught another returning to the station where I picked him up. Again, I, drove him home where he located the aforemntioned document within 30 seconds of walking through the door!!!!
I could have ripped his smug expression right off his face!
Then for the third frigging time I drove him back to the staition so that he could recommence his journey.
By this time I was late taking William to the vets for his appointment so he and I shot up to the surgery via Mc Donald's drive through where I ordered an egg McMuffin and large coffee for me and hash brown for him!
Even a stressed middle aged homosexual and a half blind Welsh terrier needs breakfast!
Anyway
I stopped at the  busy T junction at St Asaph where I took a massively comforting bite of muffin and a huge swig of coffee and in front of several school children standing for their school bus  promptly sneezed my whole mouth's contents onto the steering wheel and windscreen.....

What did Garfield always say at the beginning of the week?

" Ok Monday........hit me! "


65 comments:

  1. You know that Shingles is highly contagious, don't you?

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  2. Oh dear, John, may the rest of your week go better!
    And for heaven's sake, go out and get yourself a Scotch egg before the week is out. No, make that two. They truly are not fattening.

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    Replies
    1. I had one for lunch...my first in over 2 months
      It was BLOODY lovely

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  3. I am SO impressed that you did not just go back home to bed at some point in all of this.
    My sympathies on the shingles ..

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  4. Om my....! Go back to bed and start over.

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  5. On the bright side, things can only get better!

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  6. Wow....hope things calm down a tad now.

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  7. Egg McMuffins are my husband's drug of choice. He would have been very sad to hear that you wasted some of yours. The rest of the week can only be better! -Jenn

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  8. I bet the school kids thought it was great.

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  9. It could be worse. The Prof might not have been so much as "smug" as growled at you. People do. It's quite extraordinary how people react when they feel (secretly) annoyed at themselves and relief at the same time.

    I do hope this won't make you mad with me, but by way of possibly misguided attempt to afford you comfort I located link to a The Mamas and The Papas song: "Monday, Monday ... so good to me".

    www.youtube.com/watch?v=h81Ojd3d2rY

    And then there are Wednesdays. May the future be with you.

    U

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    1. He's working away for the next two days so i can recover

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    2. Nice one U... but this one might be more in line with John's day...(Stormy Monday sung by B.B. King)
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlQHHK2oGrU.

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  10. Did William make things better by hoovering the steering wheel and windscreen? Coffee-flavoured Egg McMuffin . . . mmmm!

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    Replies
    1. Hoover he did, thank goodness winnie wasnt in the car.....

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  11. Bad enough, to be sure, but it's a matter of perspective. Just think what the consequences could be IF there were a mendacious, hyper-sensitive and unpredictable paranoiac just a finger-length away from the nuclear option!

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  12. Maybe a 'checklist' for the prof is due?

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    Replies
    1. This isnt the first time jimbo

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  13. Oh, John. You do have a wild life!

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    Replies
    1. I bought an roning board in Lidl thus afternoon! The wild times continue!

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  14. Ok, so what is your favorite? McMuffins or Scotch Eggs? I'm surprised McDonalds hasn't come up with a hash brown/sausage/egg Scotch Egg for the Welsh franchise!

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    Replies
    1. The sausage egg mcmuffin is more or less like a scotch egg......but i took the healthy option

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  15. Some Mondays give the day a bad name. Glad to hear that the afternoon is more pleasant. Ironing can be sort of a meditation technique. xo

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  16. Oh, Lord. That was a seriously dysfunctional Monday. I can't compete with that.

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  17. Monday's have there purpose. They make Tuesdays look good.

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    Replies
    1. I will try to remember this .. very comforting :)

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  18. sounds like someone needs a Garfield-sized lasagna!

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  19. So very sorry...I hope your week gets better!

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  20. Still laughing here.x

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  21. Thanks for laugh.

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  22. Thank goodness THAT'S out of the way. It should get better for the next six days or so.

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  23. What a horrible morning.

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    Replies
    1. The only way is up as Yazz once sang

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  24. What can I say ... except I have had a lovely peaceful day :o)

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    Replies
    1. A bit of light dusting then !

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  25. I love a bacon egg mcmuffin -- but not as much as I used to before they decided to take away the cheese. Sorry about your blue Monday --

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  26. Boomtown Rats song was made for you. BTW when is The Prof gonna do his blog?

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    Replies
    1. It would be a precise read sandy

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  27. I will have to read this again this afternoon..evening .. we have been under a Tornado Warning F*G*S* since last night !!!
    If you see a blonde with 3 cats in her arms, flying past, you will know who it is.

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  28. I am seriously beginning to wonder whether you are officially accident prone.

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    Replies
    1. I am pat....ive posted before i am seriously dyspraxic

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  29. Kinda makes me sad your little town has a McD's, I picture it much more quaint, Dickens-ish Victorian type of hamlet that would not permit such brash commercialism. I'll just forget all about this blog installment and go back to my naïve ways.

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    Replies
    1. Alice...our village has no mcdonalds!
      Its a drive through on the A55 ( main road) four miles away!

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  30. And the kids are still laughing,

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  31. I'm sorry for your horrible, terrible, awful, no good, very bad day (apologies to Grover from Sesame Street) but this is hilarious!!

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  32. You made the start to my day look better. I hope the rest of yours is calm and pleasant.

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    Replies
    1. I settling down to watch The Walking Dead re runs

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  33. I'm tired just reading this. Did you also iron today on the new ironing board?
    Greetings Maria x

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    1. Did i buggery maria xxx

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    2. Sorry, maria I did not xx

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  34. You have made a fair few people smile, if that's any consolation.

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  35. In our house I am the Prof and my hubby and offspring are you. Most of the time I try to hide my smugness but not always successfully. Secretly I am pleased about it - if they didn't need me to find every last whatsit, I would be redundant.
    Very funny story!

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  36. laughing in solidarity , here!!

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  37. The Prof's in Edinburgh? Glad you mentioned it. I'll steer clear until the end of the week!! Just kidding.x

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  38. Most cars have windscreen wipers on the outside. You may need to investigate having them installed on the inside.

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  39. OMG ... you just made my Monday look so easy. Thank you. But now, just from reading this, I'm so exhausted that I'm heading for bed. Not sure if exhaustion is from sympathy or laughing (sorry! suspect from laughing).

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  40. Heavens John! I wish you would put a warning on these blogs! I 'laughed' coffee all over the computer screen.

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  41. A shame he didn't have the vital document on his iPad/phone/laptop. That would have saved an awful lot of faffing around! And did you buy a replacement egg McMuffin or did you say, oh fuck it?

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  42. Just think of how dull their day would have been without you. Did William polish off the inside of your windshield?

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  43. Couldnt he just have told you where he left whatever it was he forgot to bring. Hope tuesday is better

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  44. Oh, no!!! I would have laughed at that ending (SORRY), but I'm having a bit of a Monday today (Wednesday).

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