Thursday, 20 October 2016

Fuck off Sweetcheeks !!!!!!

Now I feel, I may need to clarify something here
I'm not always a nice person.
When the mood takes me, I can be a real c*#t , especially when I am tired.
It's almost as though my inner gay drama queen/waspish bitch troll-from-hell takes over from that skipping Mary Berry/ Laura Ingles persona that I like to think I am for most of my waking hours.
Earlier today I felt like a real knock-down, gouge out yer eyeballs slap fest.
I was tired, this morning.  On my break at four am, I had just fell into a doze over a peanut butter-on-toast sandwich, when a visiting colleague entered the coffee lounge and proceeded to tell me all about their new kitchen ( completed with a boiling water  hose for washing the friggin skin from tomatoes!)
I covered my face with a Hello magazine and prayed for death!
Suffice to say my break turned out as restful as the latest Trump/ Clinton  debate.

When I got home I caught a very large beer Lorry stuck at the corner outside our cottage. The driver had ignored signs stating very clearly the unsuitability of the road and had taken a chance to shortcut his journey.
He was scraping the top layer from our wall when I marched forward like Bodicia, with hypertension.
" BRING DOWN ONE PIECE OF THAT WALL AND THERE WILL BE TROUBLE!"
I yelled holding onto a yard brush
The neighbours came out to watch!
" Keep your wig on grandad ! the driver yelled back just before his tattooed co driver cooed out the killer blow of " Calm yourself sweetcheeks"
WIG? G R A N D A D ? 
FUCKING SWEETCHEEKS! ? 
I thought I was going to have a stroke I was that angry.
Luckily , Mike, who lives down the lane intervened and with his guidance and with millimetres to spare the Lorry pushed forward, just as I hurried into the cottage for my iPad camera to record the debacle.

Out with anger
In with love..........
Off to bed....
NO ONE RING ME!!!!!!

64 comments:

  1. pmsl...must be the weather ,I had a Sharon Osbourne moment with the munchkin last night at bedtime , not helped by the bleedin 7 year old monster commenting . What does T*** mean

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    Replies
    1. I think I made up sweet CHEEKS
      I THINK HE ACTUALLY SAID " sweetie" which on reflection sounds worst

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  2. blimey! what fucking idiots (work and truck)! proof stupidity knows no boundaries! have a good sleep, dear.

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  3. It is very stressful when we go through these hormonal ups and downs, I know exactly how you felt.

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  4. Don't take this the wrong way, but I laughed all the way through this post. What tribulations you had to endure, LOL!

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  5. Sweet dreams, sweet cheeks!

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  6. This post was very funny. Definitely more fun than the Clinton/Trump debate

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  7. Now see- you need to just make and wear a badge that says, "I'm a Sweetcheeks Grandad!"
    All will be well.

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  8. I would have wanted to defend those pretty old walls, too.

    Hoping today will turn out to be a good one.

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  9. It's the stupidity, you know? I have to deal with stupid people all of the time and it's always my fault that they're stupid, at least that's what they seem to think.

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    Replies
    1. dontcha just wanna smack the everloving shit outta stupid people? I know I do!

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  10. It's the stupidity, you know? I have to deal with stupid people all of the time and it's always my fault that they're stupid, at least that's what they seem to think.

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  11. Proof you are human after all! Hope you have a good rest.

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  12. Good night John..zzzzzzz.....

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  13. I confess to being no lady when push comes to shove. The language is bleu!!! Especially in the car - today I called some bimbo driving and I use the term lightly a assbitch - all one word. I am now making up obscenties. My husband says I rant and rant. I cant help it - I am 54 menopausal and have to deal with idiots every day so feel entitled to swear. Add being in constant pain and not knowing why, John you are entitled to feel agrieved. Hope you slept well and that you feel rested, calm and refreshed.

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  14. Good thing the neighbor kept you from swinging that yard brush! If not at their heads, maybe their giant truck would have come away with some dents.

    Hope you had a good rest, John!

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  15. There are some days when I don't need to read any more than the title. It makes my day. Even when I make a concerted effort NOT to watch anything to do with the debacle that is our election campaign, the ugliness pops up everywhere. I would have been putting a few dents in the lorry myself.

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  16. Let's all stand up for these wonderful British stone walls! I love them so much. Hope you had a good rest anyway!

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  17. When you have had a nice rest you can watch the 3rd debate on iplayer - that will make you nice and calm.

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  18. You're just human like the rest of us John so can't be nice all the time...I would love to see you fly off the handle ..but not at me! and I guess it was the Grandad that irked...after all sweetcheeks is kinda nice!x

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  19. I'm glad I'm not the only one ;-)

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  20. Excellent. Currently these rants are in my head.....I think?.... At wig, granddad/mum and sweetcheeks I may have been tipped over the edge. X

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  21. I would report the louts. No respect for our heritage-stone walls are precious.

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  22. Anyone calling me Madam is looking for a good bitch slapping, and the last time someone called out of an open car window, "watch out grandma" I wanted to drag the tw*t out of the car by his ears.
    I am an insomniac and the tired barometer fluctuates wildly. I'm not always a crabby bitch honest.

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  23. They didn't realize who they were dealing with did they?

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  24. "I thought I was going to have a stroke I was that angry" was the best line of the whole thing for me! Hahaha. Oh, John. I get it, my friend!

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  25. Probably not the best driver in the world.....

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  26. I love you when you are cross John.

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    Replies
    1. You fast cat Patricia x

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  27. What a t**t. And not you or Mike.

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  28. Whoooooohooooo only 17 followers to go to reach 1000

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    Replies
    1. 15 to go...I'm wetting my panties!

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  29. Right, that's it, a boycott of that frothy muck starts right here!!!!!

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  30. Nice to hear of someone else who channels the psycho bitch from hell some days.

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  31. You are such a tart when it comes to your followers !!!!!!!!! XXXX

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    Replies
    1. Slut more like ....slut! Xxxxx

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  32. Bloody hell 14!
    Is the same person joining multiple times? Xxxx

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  33. That was the Straw That Back! Actually I would've got pretty hot under the collar if it'd been my wall too.Hope a decent night has helped

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  34. Boudica with Hypertension! I nearly wet myself over that!!!

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  35. "skipping Mary Berry/ Laura Ingles persona" - Oh my.

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  36. Laura Ingles 0 : 1 troll bitch from hell

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  37. Laura Ingles 0 : 1 troll bitch from hell

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  38. We can't channel Pollyanna ALL the time ... would now be a good time to confess that I swear - out loud! - when I am alone?

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  39. P. S. I didn't mean all the time, just when I'm hopping mad :)

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  40. Didn't realise I wasn't already a follower even though I read you everyday. Have added my name to your list. x

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  41. Thank you, only 13 to go!

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  42. You are our sweetie, rest well. The least they could have done was offer a case of their best to calm your nerves.

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  43. Just 12 to go,.......its attainable ! How wonderful

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  44. I SAID JUST TWELVE,
    Come on keep em coming!

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  45. Having seen the photos of your burned tushy, I can, indeed state that you do have sweet cheeks. :)

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    Replies
    1. Funny! Blood hell 11 to go!

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  46. Someone is pulling my willy
    10 to go....wow

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  47. :D :D oh my god! This is hillarious!! I am not a nice person myself and I keep telling people that.
    But they dont believe me until I start yelling profanity. Hahaha!

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  48. You are more mae west to me.

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  49. You are more mae west to me.

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  50. I have followed for years but never able to comment (you didn't have an anonymous tab). I might have sorted this out now so I'll try again.
    BTW I check in daily with you, love your Blog. Kind regards, Louise S, Cheshire.

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  51. It's worked!!! I've finally sussed it out. Louise S, Cheshire.

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  52. "If Carlsberg did demolition...they'd probably be the best in the business."

    "Just like The Pony Express, Carlsberg will get round everything...probably."

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  53. At least 'Sweetcheeks' has a trace of banter (albeit condescending) about it. But 'Grandad'? - oh, the hurt!

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  54. "Keep your wig on, grandad"? "Calm yourself, sweetcheeks"? I doubt if either remark was meant personally, they were just all-purpose, one-size-fits-all insults, aimed at all and sundry when the opportunity arises. I wouldn't have been angry, I'd have laughed myself silly at the absurdity.

    Still - a shame he wasn't stuck there all night, cursing the so-called "short cut".

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  55. It is a beautiful wall.

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