Saturday, 1 October 2016

First Sentence Of The Day


On Hart to Hart, the glamorous Jennifer Hart would slink out of bed with her big hair, beautiful make up and chic silk nightie and would turn to her equally well presented husband  Jonathan with a purring
""Hello darling.....did you sleep well?" 
In Dynasty, Krystal and Blake would simper at each other in soft  focus over a boiled egg in bed, their  pyjamas neatly ironed like their hair
And in the same vein in The Archers, I am sure I have heard farmerboy Adam Macey plant a playful kiss on husband's Ian Craig's forehead before clambering out of their designer bed  and up into his combine for a day of lusty estate work ( that is before his discressions with Parvel and Charlie were made public in open court!) 

What was it like at first light in Bwthyn -y-llan I hear you all ask? 

What was the moving and touching repartee between myself and The Prof? as George barfed on the bedroom floor and as Winnie snored herself stupid from the living room arm chair.

The Prof " MOR-NING!!!!! Would you like a cup of coffee?"

Me ( stalking to the loo in a hurry in my underpants with the baggy legs ) " I'M NOT HAVING THAT CREAMED SPINACH AGAIN, IT's GIVEN ME THE SHITS,!" 

52 comments:

  1. and OF COURSE your makeup was perfect, your nightclothes were fresh-pressed, and your hair was in place.

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  2. I had spinach soup for lunch yesterday, I wondered why my stomach was a bit iffy this morning.

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  3. I told P my bottom was dirty. I was then asked to not get in the bed or sit on it. I then knelt on it, thrust my naked breasts over him and he asked me to leave the room

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    1. NURSE! THE SMELLING SALTS PLEASE!

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  4. if the creamed spinach didnt do it, the coffee would have!

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  5. Every so often I think that I might like someone to share my bed but you've succeeded in putting me off the idea. Cheers! x

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  6. And yet your bed is in constant contact with half a dozen exposed dog's and cat's bums. It defies logic. There is at least a half-hour's silence in our kitchen until H.I. becomes irate with some politician or other on the radio and the first word she quite often utters over coffee is, "Cunt.".

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    1. Does that word require a question mark after it? Like "Toast?"

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    2. Just a full-stop without exclamation mark. A simple opinion of fact.

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    3. I love it when a woman uses that word. Suddenly everything seems right with the world. I must be a bit weird....

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  7. You have a good memory for old tv shows, that I remember as being rubbish, though perhaps entertaining at the time in less worldly days. You really are rubbish at painting anything in a romantic manner. You could have ambiguously written about your flowing juices the following morning. Now, excuse me. My body is fighting with John West Chilli Tuna at 4pm and wine two hours later. It ain't gonna be pretty.

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  8. Maybe you guys need to try harder, edit a little? Or at least maintain early morning silences?

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  9. Well, the Prof bellowing "GOOD MORNING!" would be enough to start my day badly. I like a quiet start to the day, thanks - but a vision of loveliness like you, in your baggy-legged underpants, would turn me off completely. Thank goodness for the single life!

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  10. Yes. Quite a contrast but of course you are living a real life - not a televisual life for the entertainment of others. Errr...I think so anyway, even though Winnie sometimes comes across as a soap star ("Get out of my pub!") and The Prof is always played by Roger Moore.

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  11. I am the cheerful morning person, Dr J, wonders why clocks display any times before noon. And yet, we are coming up on 24 years of having fun.

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  12. Oh reality! I am sure you are much closer than the folks you mentioned at the start. At least in my life, although I only have the dogs, not Prof. (or anyone else) to offer me coffee.
    Cheers

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  13. I think our first words in the morning are either "Pumpkin, stop it" or "You better feed the cat". If the first phrase is said, it is immediately followed by the second anyway.

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  14. I am the don't speak until I have something to say....after about an hour and a couple of cups of coffee.

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  15. You mean you actually speak?

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  16. Are you trying to make us jealous ?

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  17. Ah, well. We can't all live the glamorous life. Perhaps you simply need to redo your bedroom- silk sheets, some decorator pillows, some tasteful yet provocative artwork above the bed?
    Think about it. Get back with me on that.

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  18. I wake up to " cup of tea ? " A divine wake up call though it's my turn at weekends.

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  19. Oh, how romantic, J.G.!
    I remembered to say "Rabbits!" very first thing this morning. (3 a.m.). Now I'm just waiting for that e-mail from Camelot.

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  20. If I had it my way I wouldn't say a word for two hours.....making breakfast in silence is my dream!!

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  21. My husband: Any voices during the night?
    Me: No more than usual
    My husband: Good, you can milk the cow then.

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  22. Must be love.
    Over here?
    How did you sleep?
    Lousy...you?
    Same.
    My fault?
    yes!

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  23. I used to wake up to nuzzles and soft kisses and whispered foolishness with a cup of coffee. It is hard to have a bad day with such a sweet beginning.

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  24. I wake up to, "Umfff!"
    Me: "Already, what time is it?"
    "Umfff!"
    I drag out and let the dogs outside ...

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  25. You always keep it real, John.

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  26. Bellowing "Morn-ing!!!" is legal grounds for murder.

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  27. HAHAHA! Funniest thing I'll run across today :)
    I wake up WAY before my husband does, so I'm approachable by the time he gets up!

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    1. Dont get out much eh? Xx

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  28. I always want to put a chocolate button in between himselfs arse cheeks when he's asleep so I can pretend he has shit himself when he wakes up. I don't know why.........I think I'm sick.

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  29. Sounds like a normal morning in most places, John ! We wake to the beds being bashed, cold noses on any expose flesh and the occasion slobbery kiss for good measure. That's the dogs - not us !

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  30. Creamed spinach? Did you spend the night with Popeye?

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  31. We wake up to a sharp 'feed me' from 'She who must be obeyed'. Any slackness in complying is met with a Crystal Maze assault course on the stairs including a punative bottom wash on which we are welcome to break our necks as long as we can crawl to the food cupboard before we expire. We exist to serve.

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  32. Like Curvywitch I wake up to imperatives from the cats. Which can become pointed.

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  33. And scene! You two are a real hoot. :)

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  34. I'm beginning to reconsider my daily practice of reading your blog while eating. Between the choking on laughter, the crying, and the gagging, it's getting dangerous :)

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  35. I just love that you watched Hart to Hart as well over there. Those two were the epitome of taste.

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  36. No point me trying to be witty; all I hear is snoring.

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  37. They were saccharine, but I thought they were both wonderful! I need waking every morning, and my darling husband does it very kindly! He's up close to an hour before me, so the bathroom is all mine. Marital bliss lies this way! Coincidentally, we've been in Cambridge for a month and saw the play 64 Charring Cross Road, starring Stefanie Powers! She's mid 70s now, but carried a very big part very well , being onstage almost all the time.

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  38. How very romantic you are.

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  39. Me: Heeelllloooo, wake up, there are plenty things to do. (Me on weekend mornings).

    Nevertheless, he loves me.

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  40. Brilliant! I nearly spat my tea at the dog. Thanks for the laugh :D

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  41. I'm guessing Prof is a morning person.... most people who make the coffee are. I make the coffee and usually greet my sleepy husband with a cheery, "How'd you sleep Creep?"

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  42. Generally in our house on awakening there is a bit of semi-conscious closed-eyed hand holding, a bit as if we are both thinking, "Oh man, another day? Give me strength!"

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  43. I used to love Hart to Hart .... waaaay back in the day ;-)

    Don't even speak to me in the mornings unless it's to offer me a cup of coffee, I'm a grouchy bitch first thing ... and when I'm hungry ... and when I'm being rushed ... maybe I'm just a grouchy bitch FULL STOP.

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  44. I'm just not a morning person. Hobbling to the BR, while my arthritic knees adjust to walking and cats meowing I just want a few minutes peace. Whiskers only drinks his water out of the bathtub or kitchen sink so how can I say no? Dutifully I turn the water on and sit there and wait and fill the water bowl upstairs for Tiger and Raja. All I want is my coffee with french vanilla and sugar and my phone. The spinach soup sound okay. My reoccurring IBS is never far from me. Do I watch what I eat? Not really..

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