Friday, 9 September 2016

The Subject Is Sex

I was brought up in a household that never mentioned sex ever ! 
It was a secretive unmentionable
Sex education , for what it was worth, was left to a banal 1970s school curiculum, discarding porn magazines found on the Prestatyn sandhills and playtime gossip.
But like most late baby boomers we got by somehow...despite everything.

I worked a shift at Samaritans last night until the small wee hours, and as uaual my collegue and I were on the recieving end of a score of sex calls . It's a shocking statistic , but it is common for the highly trained dedicated  SAM volunteers to be subjected to masturbating callers, sexual fantastists and others who feel they have no other outlet than calling a stranger, and blocking a helpline designed to help the psychologically distressed.
My colleague and I wondered just how many of our callers had upbringings where sex was secretative and dirty or who lived lives of sexual isolation and longing.

Now in my fifties, I think I have a healthy view of sex.
I do feel it is a private subject, but I am  no prude when it comes down to a bit of rumpy pumpy
I have worked as an advocate for sexual health with spinal cord injured men.
I have " counselled" and supported men with sexual dysfunction
And I have lived with a sexually lacivious bulldog for several years without too much blushing.

But I must admit, that at midnight after a long and busy day painting walls a rather sweet shade of apple green.
The breathless voice of a middleaged man  whispering the words " I'm touching myself through lace fronted panties"  left me all a bit cold!

 

70 comments:

  1. Another fashion hint for the day - middle aged men should as a general rule try not to squeeze into lace fronted panties. It's never going to be a good look.

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  2. Both my daughters have been the subject of and subjected to men masturbating on trains.
    It's all gross

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  3. "rumpy pumpy" - LOVE that term!
    "no sex please, we're british" - was that a movie or a tv show?

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    1. I thought it was a stage show.. but I was a bit young to go see it.

      Jo in Auckland, NZ

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    2. The film (1973) of the successful stage show, and starring the fairly recently departed Ronnie Corbett, was spectacularly unfunny - at about the level of those inferior entries in the 'Carry On' series.

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    3. thank you, dear raybeard!

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  4. Gross though I suspect I'd have to supress a giggle. Do you hang up or tell them off for blocking the line ?

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    1. We concentrate on feelings and emotions..this sort of caller would be reminded why were are there, gven the opportunity to take about other things then we , if it continues, would end the call

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    2. John, do you have to deal with these sort of calls every night? Are the same people calling repeatedly? How odd.

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  5. I would have laughed at the lace fronted panties remark...I don't think I could have stopped myself!

    "Rumpy Pumpy" shall be part of my vocabulary from now on. Thanks!

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  6. Really?? How sad...I think I would have responded... how very sorry I am for you mate. Now Rumpy Pumpy... what a very English term... I had forgotten it...haven't heard it for many years.

    Jo in Auckland, NZ

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  7. How utterly sad and selfish that these pathetic people think it is okay to waste The Samaritans' precious time with these unpleasant phone calls. Quite disgusting. Their calls should be automatically diverted to other perverts so that they can turn each other on and indulge their fantasies without bothering an important charity.

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    1. I don't know how you would do this but what a great idea. perverts talking to each other. The mind would explode.

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  8. I am quite tolerant of fetishes and kinks. I may even have one or two of my own, but I just don't get this men wearing women's underwear thing. I think they are often 'straight' men too. I too had forgotten rumpy pumpy. It is fun descriptive expression for the deed, and sex should be fun, well at times.

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    1. my ex-husband liked to wear women's undergarments. only 1 of 928374650 reasons we divorced.

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    2. Ok Anne Marie. John has mentioned you. You are frank. Your ex husband liked to wear women's underwear. That is enough for me to at least look at your blog, and as I can barely keep up with bloggers, I will look at yours.

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  9. The next time you might suggest to "lace panties" that a police uniform and handcuffs would attract a better selection of men.

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  10. Maybe you should tell them that you have sophisticated software on your phones showing their names and addresses and a recording of their phone call will be sent to their homes for the family to listen to.

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    1. Alas the strength of samaritans is its confidentiality

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  11. I had a friend who just out talked them. She would just let fly with whatever it was she could think of to say, she described in great detail changing diapers on a new baby with colic, she talked about housetraining a puppy, recited her favorite recipes.
    It worked. She boggled too many brains that were already addled.

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  12. I have to admit the sex phone calls were the thing that finally made me quit the Sams. Nothing worse than taking a 3am night shift call and finding someone masturbating at the other end - the great thing about the Sams is that it teaches you a lot about your self and I learnt I'm definitely not very charitable at that time of the morning.

    The apple green sounds lovely.

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  13. It's a sad sad world for some.

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  14. Really?! REALLY?!! I can't believe people are calling a hospital helpline for that kind of thing.

    I think YP is on to something -- there should be a perv switchboard that all those people can dial to talk to each other. But I suspect the shock of talking to an unsuspecting victim is part of the turn-on. Bizarre.

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    1. The Samaritans is not the hospital. It is a help line for people in despair and possibly contemplating suicide. It is a charity and help is voluntary.

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  15. I used to work with a lovely lady who'd an utterly no-nonsense attitude to all things pervy. When the younger girls in the big NHS office we shared started getting calls from a man who was apparently a connoisseur of nylon panties she intercepted the calls and started in on a very earnest lecture on the evils of man-made fabrics for 'intimate garments' & the horrors of thrush. He stopped calling.

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  16. Am I the only person who finds an element of sadness for the caller in all this? I agree they are taking up time when someone with a more urgent need may be waiting, but how sad that they are so sexually repressed, or so lacking in an outlet or whatever that they have to call you. I suppose that hanging up on the call is best.

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    1. No you are not the only one Weave; I do too.

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  17. You're opening my eyes to a whole new world. I had no idea that idiots did that sort of thing.

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  18. I can't imagine what gratification these weirdos can possibly get from doing this. Surely there must be some sort of dial-a-wank phone service where they can breath heavily in the ear of like-minded individuals while knocking one out?

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    1. I believe there are several organisations that offer this service!
      Unfortunately the Samaritans is a free call whereas the others can be expensive.

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  19. I'm so mature I just call it "fooling around." Which is silly. But I like it.
    Seriously, though, sex is such a strong, strong urge. If it doesn't present itself one way, it will another. I can't begin to understand the myriad ways people express themselves sexually but unless it involves children or animals or force, I guess I'm not going to judge. I recently discovered that a woman I've known for over twenty years is running an online business catering to the kinks and fetishes which are far more prevalent than I knew and she is doing quite well with it. She has to keep it entirely anonymous and on the down low though, due to her job which would not approve. Her partner is her best friend and they work together in the straight world, too. Although "straight" isn't exactly right as my friend is gay. Her wife knows of the business but isn't involved in it and is perfectly happy about it.
    Ooh boy.
    I'll shut the hell up now.
    Happy rumpy pumpies! Maybe I'll fool around today. But I won't be calling anyone to talk about it.

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  20. I started getting sex calls at one point. don't know why the guy picked my phone number. after just hanging up on him didn't work, the last time he called I kept asking him if that was the best he could do because that wasn't very creative dirty talk and I was getting bored until he finally hung up on me and didn't call back.

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  21. Taking up your opening remarks, I too was in a household where sex might as well not have existed, though it must have as I and my siblings numbered five. Simply NEVER mentioned ever.

    Sex education at my Marist (Society of Mary) grammar school (this was 1958-63) consisted of two occasions - once when our priest-headmaster told our class that "If you find yourself having 'lustful' thoughts (a mortal sin!) towards another girl, just imagine that she's your sister." (I'd had no trouble on that score anyway).
    A second time was when another priest told us that, being 12 or 13, we'll be finding hair growing on our bodies and will have the urge to scratch. "Beware!" he declared.
    And that was it. Hardly comprehensive advice, even when taken together.

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  22. Timing is everything

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  23. At 50, after the end of my 30 year marriage, I finally figured out what I was missing. I cannot help but wistfully think of all the fun I was missing all those years.

    Too bad so much of todays kids are getting their education from Pornhub or the likes. Too little back then and too detached and unrealistic now.

    Let's talk about sex......openly and without shame.

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  24. I suppose it would be unkind to suggest they might do better with a good, stiff girdle.

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  25. This is why I could never be a Smaritoan, I simply would not have any patience with them.

    You could try a final statement to them along the line of 'you sound just like my Bulldog Winnie, she's a sex mad, tradesman chasing pervert just like you, but the difference is she doesn't block a call line that is supposed to be helping people in real need, you should be ashamed of yourself' and then hang up ;-)

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    1. Gawd ... I can't even spell Samaritan!!

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  26. I just wonder why they can't follow their particular fetishes in the privacy of their own home without having to share it with complete strangers. And as you say, blocking someone who needs some serious and maybe life-saving advice.

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  27. I think part of any fetish is to get pleasure out of it and this pleasure is obviously telling people about it .. sharing .. vicarious thrills and all that.
    My parents were very young, I had the example of young love in a family home , lots of kissing and hugging. So that is the way I grew up, a kissy huggy sort of person.
    But no fetishes lol ... no touching strangers etc ... blech !!

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    1. I have to correct myself. I grew up in the US South .. North Carolina. I touch people. I touch strangers when speaking to them sometimes. I lived in Argentina ... I kiss people when I greet them. Jeez ... I am very touchy, aren't I ??

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    2. Touchy is very good, when done gently and with due thought for the other person. Personally, if I have any coonversation without the merest touch of another hand, I feel as though I was not considered at all.

      I have been to NC, it is a beautiful State with dear, caring people and I should be very happy to meet you and to exchange thoughts upon this subject.

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  28. My only experience with a public masturbator was as a very innocent first year at varsity, walking down a corridor and seeing a man "at it" down an adjoining corridor. I couldn't think what to say to him "hey, You! Stop it at once" or perhaps "do you need a hand!" It didn't unduly freak me, but another woman was heading into a terms test and it completely undid her. The guy was caught at a bus shelter an hour later - I hope he got the help he needed.

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    1. Do you need a hand ! Very funny !

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  29. When I was a young teenage whenever I thought of anything sexual I sneezed....a psychologist would have a field day.

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  30. Like Delores and Weaver, I find this sad rather than disgusting. Peoples' brains are not all wired alike. However, if someone knows their brain may not pass the "polite" test, or the "legal" test, they need to be sure they aren't hurting anyone else with it.

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    1. So do i but they ARE blocking other callers from getting through

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    2. And that is included in my proviso "hurting others" :)

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  31. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  32. My sister in law had a funny caller, he said "I've got 10 inches in my hand for you " her reply ...."if that's all you've got why would I bother,

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  33. I have NO tolerance for perverts like this. I've had more than my share of incidents in my young days, hell you couldn't even walk to school without some sick bastard sitting in a car alongside the street, and displaying his prick to the world.
    Cut the bugger off, that's what I would do.
    ~Jo

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  34. Possibly prank calls, solely designed to register your reaction?

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    1. No historically they tend to be real jon

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  35. Oh, for fuck's sake - you really don't need to resort to this sort of title to get more involvement do you?

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    1. See
      http://tomstephenson.blogspot.co.uk/2015/12/lowest-common-denominator.html

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  36. Many years ago when I was young,free n single and living in Stepney East London I used to get phone calls meant for a prostitute. One afternoon an elderly gentleman called and when I picked up the phone he said "is that the Carribean beauty". Another chap wasn't so polite as he said "is that busty chocolate?" My boyfriend of the time (now my hubbies) choked on his drink and we both roared. I am blond blue eyed and was at the back when the good Lord handed out boobs.!! The calls stopped after I called her and adv her to change her number as she earned more than me. Had my fair share of public wankers,flashers etc and strange patients wanting T o show me bits I didn't want to see unless there was something wrong with it. It's a nurses lot.
    E

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    1. That is so funny, I want to change my name to Busty White Chocolate hehehe

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  37. John, I have a haggis-filled Scotch Egg in my hand. I am now licking it with my tongue. You want one, don't you? You know you do John.

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    Replies
    1. chuckle, snort, giggle

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    2. Yes andrew i want it.........right......now

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  38. I hear you John. I used to work as a counsellor for a 24 hour counselling line . Guaranteed every night you would get at least one call. There were people who were well known to the service who called on a daily basis.

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  39. Sigh. We get them here too. We are cheaper than the sex phone lines.

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  40. Back in the 90's, I volunteered as a pre-test HIV counselor at a clinic here in town. The clinic provided anonymous testing, so the people coming in (mostly men) had no names to worry about. And we had to ask, for statistics, all sorts of sexual history questions. I've heard it all. And I DO mean all. It's made me a well rounded person in my 50's, ha.

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  41. I must be a pervert then because I wear men's pants. I was a Samaritan about 30 years ago, we got a lot of those calls. I got fed up with it and gave it up.

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  42. I.can't.even. Ew

    MissFifi

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  43. A volunteer that I used to know would let them go on a bit then invite them round, pointing out that she was a middle aged, overweight, one eyed spinster with chronic arthritis, a colostomy and unsatisfied needs. It usually got rid of them.

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  44. Anonymous10:20 am

    I remember being a young girl and having a pervert rub himself up my arm on a bus. Then getting "wanked" at here in Geneva. The good thing with the second b@@@@stard was I was old enough to scream him down in public AND took him to court! Those sods deserve what's come to them! Anna

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