Thursday, 15 September 2016

A Long Time Coming!



Yesterday was incredibly humid. It was  also rather sunny , not good for black furred animals like George and Albert.
Fuses are cut rather short when it's sticky and oppressive
For months now, Mary has taken every opportunity to goad Albert.
A cold nose up the arsehole at every opportunity
A sharp bark when  the boy is sitting peacefully on the bedroom window ledge
It is the challenge adolescent dogs delight in when the victim is smaller and different.

Yesterday, as Albert sauntered into the cottage in order to find a cool corner he stopped briefly to rub heads with his best mate Winnie. (Head rubbing, for those that don't know, is a feline gesture of welcome.)
The ever alert Mary, grabbed her chance.
She shot out of her hiding place from under the kitchen table and in one long " sweep" gave Albert's bumhole a massive and rather over saturated lick.
It was the lick that broke the camel's back.
Albert lost it.
He growled like a tiger and lifted himself onto his tiptoes with his back arched like a bow and when finally Mary bolted for the safety of the staircase he shot after her like Bagheera from The Jungle Book. 
Albert caught Mary in our bedroom and by the sound of the howls he must have given her a sound and long overdue thrashing.
I left him to it.

The tail swishing and dark mood lasted all day , I am afraid, and even this morning ( nearly 24 hours since the final bumhole lick was administered)  Albert is still looked rather wide eyed and bad tempered when Mary is in his vicinity.
I snapped the above photo just  a few minutes ago as Mary prudently sat under my armpit, on the arm of the chair.
Albert in full growl!
Hell hath no fury like a goggle-eyed black cat scorned

51 comments:

  1. That made me laugh out loud. Thank you.

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  2. Sounds to me as though Mary had it coming. Hopefully it is a useful lesson learned.

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  3. go get her, albert; bitch had it coming!

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  4. Good for Albert for setting some limits!

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  5. Sheba was notoriously fiesty, and it appears that under that layer of fluff, Pumpkin is too.

    Last week Dylan, the cat from two doors down, was at the receiving end of Pumpkin's disapproval. He likes to sit in the garden of the house above us and ambush the cats that visit them. This particular evening he tried to cut through the top of our garden.

    Next thing I heard banshee like screams and in the dusk saw Dylan seemingly in mid air. I rushed down to see what was going on, only to see Pumpkin strolling up the path, not a hair out of place.

    Dylan has been spending most of his time sitting on his own garden fence.

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  6. Good old Albert. I think of cats as rather patient animals. But - like all quiet waters running deep - when they get angry you'll sure know about it.

    To illustrate the point, you even caught the tell tale signs of ears bent backwards. Mary should be ashamed of herself. You don't go round licking other creatures' bums - unless, of course, you are a dog.

    Thanks for the laugh, John. Best to Albert. Do tell him from me that to simmer is better than to stew.

    U

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  7. A perfect example of poking the bear. -Jenn

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    1. I've poked a couple in my time!

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  8. Anyone who stuffed their nose in my arse would get a similar response. If there was a football crowd watching I'd be singing "COME ON ALBERT! COME ON ALBERT!"
    and
    "ONE NIL TO THE PUSSY CAT!"

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    Replies
    1. Dont knock it if you havent tried it

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  9. Laughing out loud in the local bagel shop!!!

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    Replies
    1. Why have they given you too much change?

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  10. Thank you for a very good laugh out loud this morning. Sorry it was at poor Albert's expense.
    Did you ever mention how Albert got his name? It's very human sounding but now that I think of it more of your animals are.

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  11. I hate " fluffy" names for dogs and cats.......our previous dogs were called Finlay, maddie, meg, constance and mabel our old cats joan and betty

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    Replies
    1. We had a Tiddles, Tibby, FLuffy and Scamper. I have now grown up and we have Lola and Ricco. :-)

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  12. I look forward to your postings. Most of them are so funny! Thanks for the laugh.

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  13. Winnie needs to show Mary how to get along with cats! From personal experience, cats can really tear up a dog if they are pushed too far, AND they have long memories!

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  14. Good ol' Albie, giving them 'what for' - and NO mistake!

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  15. Most cats are nut cases... ours certainly is.

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  16. Cat Scratch Fever by Ted Nugent would be a good song to go with this post John.

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  17. Thanks for the giggle Albert . . .
    I think Mary will give no more butt licks!

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  18. when the kitty has had enough...watch out!

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  19. Albert looks absolutely demonic in that image.

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    1. He's lost his sense of humor

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  20. That's my face if anyone touches my chocolate stash x

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    1. Uis that a euphemism?

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    2. Dirty boy! hehehe

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  21. Oh it can be tough growing up, Mary.
    Lesson learned!
    And Albert, you deserve a 'medal' living with that lot!! lol

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  22. It's a good thing that cats are no larger than they are or we'd all be afraid to sleep with one in the house.
    They are certainly good when it comes to teaching manners.

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  23. way to go albert. we all have our breaking point!

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  24. Good for Albert! I love your pet stories, they're always good for a laugh!

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  25. The last thing you want on a hot and humid day is to have your furry bum hole licked!

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  26. And this is why I love cats more than anything.

    MissFifi

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  27. I'm another one who gives animals human names. Some names just suit them, poor Ginger (not named by us) is the only exception in our house. All the named chickens have human names too :-)

    I'm glad Albert finally snapped ... now maybe he will get a bit of respect shown to him by the young whipper snapper Mary .... all cats deserve respect, especially off dogs!!

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  28. Being the "mom" of 3 .. yes, 3 (sigh) cats, I know that cat moodiness and behavior better than I ever thought I would.
    A dog would stand no chance in this house... even with just little Minette who has the heart of a lioness.
    She is petite and quiet and light as a feather but don't get on her wrong side.

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  29. Odd that he didn't do that sooner. She definitely had it coming!

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  30. Good laugh! At least now everyone in the house knows, who the boss is.

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  31. Well, that evens the scores! Vengeance is a dish best served cold!

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  32. I don't blame Albert one tiny bit!!!

    Oh, Mary Mary Mary ...

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  33. Good old Albert - Mary gets away with far too much !

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  34. I feel and look like Albert; electrically tense; if that makes sense. The weather should change.
    Greetings Maria x

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  35. Nothing worse I would imagine than a wet bum. I have to say like Albert this humidity makes me cranky. Imagine wearing fur and black too and some idiot invades your space and your nether regions. I would snap too. Way ta go Albert

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  36. If that photo of Albert was an anime you would see all kinds of lighting bolts and squiggles coming out of his head with the Godzilla fire beam coming from his eyes !

    cheers, parsnip

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  37. Well really, no one likes their bum licked uninvited! I don't blame Albert for being out of sorts.

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  38. I was listening to a public radion program a short while back. The topic was animal behavior and specifically cats. Cats cary a grudge and dont forget easily. Seems a lttle vengence may be there too. Always had cats, have raised collie dogsand currently own Demon Puss who abosulutely hates me. More power to Albert, he took all he could take. 3 cheers to the kitty.

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  39. Oh, good for Albert! Poor guy will probably need a three-day nap after all this activity, but he took care of business. And LOL, good that all will survive.

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  40. Oh, good for Albert! Poor guy will probably need a three-day nap after all this activity, but he took care of business. And LOL, good that all will survive.

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