Friday, 1 July 2016

Like A Tart in the night!


The Prof has been co hosting a conference over the past few days.
Boffins from all corners of the world gathered in Llandudno to talk research and last night I went over to have a meal with them all . I got to stay at the Empire Hotel in the town, which is thought to be one of the nicest, which was a treat.
Nice sheets , no dog farts and intelligent company.
Made for a nice change.

I used to be slightly overfaced by a room full of Profs and PhDs , but now I can hold my own and am now well able to do the " small talk" that is required at such functions.
Most people are very nice once they have a glass of wine in their hand.

The meal ( at quite a renown local restaurant) was pretty dire it has to be said. Tasty enough but with portions that wouldn't keep Kate Moss alive.
I thought this tiny portion fad  was a thing of the past.?
Anyhow I was sat next to an ebullient Academic from Newfoundland who felt so  sorry for me and my one centimetre square potato she offered me some of her vegetable pasta dish.
I declined, which showed great etiquette on my part ! I would have woofed it down in two seconds otherwise.

The Prof was up beavering away on his laptop at 5 am this morning, so I showered and sneaked out of the hotel very early like a tart in the night.
The Polish night porter ( who was dressed rather oddly in a tracksuit) gave me a knowing wink and a leer when he let me out  at dawn, as if to say " You have plenty good time with the ladies last night"
I tried to look professional !

And so I am home now. Thanks to my sister who walked the dogs last night for me. All I had to do was give them a quick pee and we are all going back to bed for an hour.

Oh I forgot to tell you.....on my way home at 5.30 am, I stopped at the MacDonalds drive through and ordered myself a fuckoff , massive  egg Mc- bloody -muffin !
It was bloody lovely

I'll leave you with the latest novelty veg entry from Llona ..nite nite



47 comments:

  1. Wot no leek soop?

    Cymru am Byth. Let's do an Iceland tonight. Stuff those Brussels Sprouts!

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  2. Foam with a foam sauce; give me the big fat steak any day!

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  3. 'Nouvelle Cuisine' is for LOOKING at - with "Oooohs" and "Aaaaahs". You're not expected to eat it as well!

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  4. And the plate has been wiped up to the very edge of the food with a cloth after the food was meticulously arranged by hand. Yuk. Give me a plate of proper food and slopped on gravy any day.

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    1. Amen to that!

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    2. Yes! I've been in the kitchen of a public eatery and seen grains of rice arranged by hand - by a person who was previously handling non-food items with the same set of gloves on. Now I just try not to think about it, but you're right on with your comment - a plate of regular food got up with a large spoon and a ladle of gravy is much preferable!

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    3. Ive just complained

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  5. Have a scotch egg later as well…you deserve it!

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  6. You're joking John, is that what they call an "entrée" these days ? I bet it all came out of a tin, too. Of course, the smaller the portions and the higher the price = more profit.
    Another great novelty veg.

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  8. Well said Rachel. I bet you were rather refreshing to talk to John x

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  9. You could have ordered dog-farts as room service.

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  10. It is nice to get away for the night from time to time

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  11. cripes, GIMME SOME FOOD; "small portions" my fat arse! I avoid pretentious expensive joints like that. a wish for a nice weekend to all in the little village.

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  12. Tiny food was big a few years ago in more posh restaurants. Now when I go to these types of eateries, I find that the portions are much more reasonable. However, the US is known for over-the-top full plates of food which results in our continuing wider and wider bottoms.

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  13. Adorable veggie creature!

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  15. Now where did Llona get the miniature glasses?

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    1. I found them on the village green while litter picking after the summer fete. Cute, aren't they. By the way, sorry John, but my name is Ilona. I sometimes write it in lower case, ilona, because the capital I is very similar to the letter l.

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    2. You're not alone. I have spent the last 60 odd years explaining how to spell and how to speak my name. I'm used to it. xxx

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    3. What a find! And how did you get from ilona to meanqueen? Seems a bit of a stretch.

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  16. When I was in Cuba the past week, I was completely amazed at the size of the portions which would keep Kate Moss, her family, and fifteen Cuban families alive. What the hell? Cuba?

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    1. I don't know any Cubans, but I have a handful of friends from Central and South America, and they all seem to equate feeding you with love, kind of like those of us here in the South of the USA. :)

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    2. Cuba.....how bloody exotic.......more exotic than llandudno!

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  17. We have a very posh restaurant near here called Winteringham Fields. Top class chef's, minuscule portions. They come from far and wide to eat at this prestigious eatery. My friends who have dined there said they were still hungry when they left. People are so gullible.

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    1. I totally agree. We went to a few of those places in NYC and decided that a nice meal in an area like Little Italy was 100 times better and more satisfying. And not even close to being what one might call "posh" :)

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    2. Holy Potato! Just checked Ilona's restaurant. Lunch is 45 pds, plus an extra 5 for cheese course and same for coffee with petit fours.

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  18. Now there's a coincidence - my parents have been at the Empire all week! You probably passed them in the foyer. One of my favourite hotels.

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    1. There were a few elderly yorkshire people there ,but no i didnt see them!

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  19. C'mon, John.... Surely it was fun to feel like a naughty tart slipping off into the night! I would enjoy it, anyway. Haha! ;)

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    1. A godess in the kitchen and a whore in the bedroom

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  20. Well, I certainly can't hope to compete with that veggie offering - it is absolutely brilliant.

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  21. Darling entry !

    cheers, parsnip and thehamish

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  22. a mcdonalds pass through was called for.

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    1. Andbloody well enjoyed

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  23. Fast food wins the day :) As you say, most people are good to talk to; I have found that many people are wondering what to say just like I am. So I don't try to impress and I quickly find the people in a room who are doing likewise.

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  24. Sat next to a Newfoundlander, eh!? Couldn't have had a better table companion, John.
    Is it proper to ask for seconds at a place like this? I would have regardless.

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    1. We talking about halifax too jimbo

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  25. How`s fat club going ? I can ask that as I have joined a fat club myslef and am feeling very sanctimonious, stay tuned for bitter and psychotic as deprivation hits home. X

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  26. Nathan generally avoids my work functions. Too much science talk he says.

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    1. The prof avoids my bodily functions

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  27. Thanks for your advice on my blog.Either i am misunderstanding what I need to do or I am doing it wrong.Any chance you could e mail.Promise I am not a bible bashing nutter!I know you have had to send him off with a flea in his ear but this bit is driving me mad.XXX

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  28. There are still some restaurants keen on the nouvelle cuisine style. It must be highly profitable, after all, with such tiny fragments of food. As Rachel says, give me a plate of proper food any day. I expect to leave a restaurant feeling well-nourished, not desperate for a pizza.

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