Wednesday, 13 July 2016

Gut Feeling


Been dancing around today catching up with outside  jobs as the weather ( for the first time in a week) has been somewhat more than kind. I've washed the car, bought white gloss to paint the backdoor ( 18 months in the waiting! ) and visited the vets to get the dogs weighed and wormed .
On the way home I walked them on the Dyserth walkway, and amongst the social walkers out for their constitutional was a man I have come to mistrust deeply.
I say this only in passing, as it is a rarity for me to mistrust anyone, but for some reason this man totally gives me the creeps when I see him out walking.
I have only a gut feeling to go on, but there is something rather sinister about this character, something off.
Normally I would never really bother about a hiker in his early 70s , apart from a short " hello"........ they tend to all look a like to me . Designer waterproof jacket, ski sticks , woolly hat if its cold and shorts when it's hot. Backpack....you get the idea, but this guy, who I often pass is always alone and always uncommunicative .
He is pale has what my imagination would describe as  cold dead eyes and always looks incredibly angry and/or preoccupied and I always have the unsubstantiated idea that he has a propensity to violence.
Of course this sounds all very drama queenish , and when I share the thoughts with you now, it all sounds rather far fetched but gut feelings are there for a reason and my gut feelings about people have often proved to be right on the money.

Perhaps he's just shy, or ill, or both, perhaps he's just eccentric or autistic in some way, but I don't think it's as simple as that. For what it's worth , I think he's dangerous

So, my question to my readers today is......
Have you ever had a gut feeling about someone which turned out to be the right call?
I'd be interested to know the story!

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I'll leave you with two photos. The first is a study of  two Welsh terriers on either end of the age spectrum
Old William with his milky blind eye, and Mary full of youth and exuberance. Typical of the Welsh breed, they stood together on the armchair for an age today, watching the bickering of two blackbirds

The second is the latest entry in the International Novelty Veg class and is a study of a cat by Jenny!
Keep 'em Coming!



93 comments:

  1. Some people give me goosebumps. Those goosebumps are always right. It is like a revulsion for some people, shown physically.

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  2. When I worked in a shop there were large windows and I could see people exiting their cars. Every now and then I would have an immediate dislike for a person. I didn't know them, had only just seen them at a distance, but there it was.

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  3. We have those feelings for a reason. I think we have senses have which pick up on things science just hasn't identified yet but which are most definitely there.

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  4. We have instincts for a reason, we just have to learn to trust them again. I once felt very uneasy about a colleagues intended husband (although on the surface he appeared to be a great guy but there was just something I could not put my finger on)they married but I never felt relaxed around him. He ended up in prison for offences against children. Trust what nature gives you x

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  5. Do the dogs react in any way to this man. I believe we all have this sense and should heed it.

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    1. He muttered something to winnie once and side stepped her when she ambled over .the other dogs i keep on leads and out of his way

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  6. Aw, William and Mary look so very cute sitting there together. Mary must be settling down, to sit so long.

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  7. It should be the 11th Commandment ' Thou shalt trust thy gut instinct!'. I always, always regret going against mine. I honestly always found Jimmy Saville and Rolf Harris creepy, and my ' Uncle Sid' who always tickled too much. Yuck

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    1. Funny i met jimmy saville sevveral times in the 1990s
      And disliked him immediately.. Mind you he was a twat

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    2. I always thought the same about Jimmy Savile, there was something slimy and repulsive about him. Never liked Rolf Harris either, too much bonhomie to be true. Just shows how easily the public can be hoodwinked by the so-called glitterati.

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    3. Urgh agree with the Jimmy Saville. Even though we are knocking on a bit we have an uncle (Uncle knob head in homage to Peter Kaye), my Sisters and I still find him creepy, yuck !!! It's funny how I usually like most people I meet but first impressions often prove to be correct, as my erudite husband put it 'once a dickhead always a dickhead'.

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  8. I believe fully in trusting your gut. Some years ago we had a commander here at our local air base. Various times through the time of his command his photo would appear in the local paper showing him at different functions in our community. I always thought he had the most vacant, cold stare. Well, long story short, he ended up being a sexual predator of long standing who had killed two women. He sits rotting in jail now where he will spend the rest of his life.

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    1. This is what i hoped for serial killer stories

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    2. My husband met him on an exercise. Said he gave off creep vibes and that he must have had friends to keep getting promoted.

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  9. I call it my "Spidey Sense". I have met two men who have given me that bad vibe and other women have also said the same thing about those two men(without me prompting them). As well, the crazy weird man that we almost got a kitten from also made my Spidey Sense tingle and later I found out that he was giving his landlord major grief (unable to evict him, and he kept an exorbitant amount of animals in the home in bad conditions) and also thought he had aliens landing in the back field. -Jenn

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  10. Years ago when I married hubby and I moved into his house, I had an instant dislike of the neighbor. He was a firefighter, married with three daughters, but I always felt something was 'off'. I flat out didn't like him but had no real reason. I found out when the youngest daughter turned 17 that he had molested the first two, and the youngest was determined to put a stop to it. None of them would agree to having him arrested. My biggest regret is that I didn't do something.

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    1. What happened to the family?

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    2. The girls left one by one, upon turning 18, the molester and his wife (who is also guilty as hell because she knew!) got divorced, and their house mysteriously burned down. The girls went on to have a total of seven kids....all boys!

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  11. Two people have given me that feeling, John. One was a friend of my parents who gave me a birthday card when I was 16 with a flower on it, and inside he'd written "I'd love to be the first to pluck that rose.." (Making my stomach heave just recalling it.)
    The second was our next-door neighbour four years ago.
    Just something made me feel really uneasy but I couldn't put my finger on it. One day we came home from work to find police in white over suits locking up the house: he'd beaten his wife up, and in hospital she has disclosed what had been going on - he is in prison for the next 14 years for sexual contact with under 12s. Yuk.

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    1. Tracy what did your parents make of his card?

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  12. I tend to have first impressions that usually turn out to be true. When i first met my daughters new husband he came across to me as having the trustworthiness of a used car salesman.... i was right.....But by far the best spidey sense i know of belonged to my dog who has now passed... a Rottweiler named Morgan. We were in Germany stationed with the US Army but living in economy housing... Well the floor tiles started pulling up and they were sending someone to inspect it to see about fixing it...Usually hubby always tries to be present for stuff like that but that day he couldn't be there...So it was me , my two year old daughter and Morgan.... I guess i should tell you that Morgain is not an aggressive Rottweiler... i often told her she was a disgrace to her breed ( in a joking manner ofcourse as we loved her to death) More often than not she is just a doormat, likes to be the center of attention and likes to be in whatever room you are in... but she was not a dog that barked or made a fuss...
    Well as soon as this man walked in the front door Morgan was on alert. She manaaged to put herself between me and that man the entire time he was in the apartment.... she did not growl or bark... she was a VERY obedient dog but would not go lie down or sit when i told her to. She would just barge her way in between us at every opportunity.... I told the guy he could pet the dog because she was friendly... he declined..After that day she never repeated that behavior.... strange no?

    I say go with your gut John.... it has rarely , if ever let me down. Hugs! deb

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    1. They say Rotties tend to prefer the Females in the home as an alpha leader. I would say any dog that won't leave your side when someone is present is a pretty good sign that you need to stay next to said dog. Good Morgain!

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    2. Was the guy indeed shady?

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    3. I have no idea John and i certainly didn't get a bad 'vibe' from him but far be it for me to second guess my Rottie.... :)

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    4. Winnie would have just rubbed her fanny on him

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  13. I have missed the signs more often than read them, my 6th sense is not very sensitive.

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  14. Oh I do like the little potato cat !!

    I know that feeling and my husband was always right when it came to it. I am the person that if you are nice to me, I think you are nice. regardless of how horrible you might really be.
    Thus I tend to get hurt feelings now and then when people show their true colors.
    It is just not my nature to not be friendly though .. but ... when I see someone who just makes the hair stand up on my neck, I keep going, pass on by, don't stop, don't say hello.

    I am totally in the group that believes that Dogs have a sense that we should pay attention to. My sweet Pup liked everyone but there was one time when he shied away from someone who would visit us. In the end we found that person to be cruel and mean, Pup knew that all along !

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  15. There's a book called "The Gift of Fear" that addresses these gut feelings and how one should never, ever discount them. I can't remember who wrote it, but it's a valuable eye-opener on how we should trust these feelings. They've evolved (the feelings) to protect us from danger and if paid attention to can keep us safe and even save our lives.

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  16. I used to have a friend called 'Dutch Pete', he was a roguish character with a penchant for fast cars and motorbikes. One day another friend (who was a retired senior Judge) told me that he'd been contacted by the Gendarmes, and had been asked to discretely advise me that my friendship with Dutch Pete was unwise. I followed the advice, but never discovered Pete's criminal background.

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    1. Trust you to be more exotic

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  17. Years ago I took my ma to a church service to hear a visiting priest. Neither of us had been to this church or seen these priests before. As we went in the 'home priest' was standing there with the visiting american priest, and as soon as I looked at the resident priest, my gut feeling was 'bad bastard'. It was, to me as if he was wearing a big sign that said evil.....I told my ma and she didn't seem to see him in the same way. Somehow I just KNEW that he was no good. A year or so later he was found guilty of all sorts of indecent and sexual things with children and was sent to jail. It has often puzzled me that as soon as I saw him I felt something was not right, what was that? and what worries me now is that my ma has a new neighbour and the first time I met him the two words 'serial killer' jumped into my head. Of course he could be perfectly nice and kind and normal, but I'm not sure about that.

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    1. This internal " voice" should be listened to me thinks

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  18. Lovely picture of William and Mary. Clever cat !

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  19. In your profession John, I'm sure you've had your fair share of people experience which will have given your gut a very good advantage.
    I seem to be a person people have a gut feeling about. I think it's because I'm out with the fairies most of the time, but I'm harmless.

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  20. My son's landlady, when we helped him move in I thought there was something untrustworthy about her.
    During the winter she made him (and not the woman or the other man in the house) shovel snow saying it was in his contract. He never got a contract so that couldn't be checked.
    One day during a snowstorm she asked him to take her and her cat who was having seizures to the vet because her car was in the shop. The pickup truck he drives was not up to the task so he had to park at some shops nearby and walk home. He spotted some police officers in a pizzeria so he asked them for help. One of them took the woman and cat to the vets. It was closed. Turns out the cat had had the seizures three days before.
    Another day she claimed someone had followed her home and made him sit with her for over an hour. He should have been doing homework.
    She made him cut the grass in the summer, only it was more like scrubland. His hands were full of cuts at the end of it.
    Then when he was visiting us the basement flooded, she blamed him (and not the people who were there at the time) and evicted him with a very unpleasant attack on him.
    Second hand we heard she didn't back up some work on her computer and when the other lad told her the work was lost she threw the laptop denting the wall!
    I say he was better off leaving there.
    Helen

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    1. She was a bit of a cow was she not

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  21. Adore the potato cat ! Fabulous !

    cheers, parsnip and thehamish

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  22. I don't think I am particularly perceptive John, so I can't say I have ever had a gut feeling like that.

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  23. When I was in my teens I sometimes avoided getting too close to people who made me uneasy, I had friends who didn't feel the same. 2 or three of my friends suffered what would now be called date rape by these same people.
    I also used to childmind a little boy for a couple years from when he was 3. He was a beautiful little boy with white blond hair and blue eyes. He was absolutely terrifying, evil and cold. I also looked after children who were on the 'at risk' register, who's parents couldn't cope, all these children responded to affection and care. The little blond boy I could never get through to, however hard I tried. I'm really glad I left the area and changed my name when I divorced as I was always aware that one day he could turn up on my doorstep and attack me for some perceived slight from when I looked after him.

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    1. I firmly believe in Bad Seeds. My husband does not and so we disagree when I have met young children and sense something about them that is just not right. I am not saying they are all serial killers, but you can just sense a meanness in some kids that is frightening.

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    2. I am not sure i believe about bad seeds...but the literature does indicate that they exist

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    3. When teaching I met one once. What looked out of this boy's eyes creeped me out. Definitely believe it can happen. Not talking about troubled kids, but about that very rare one with, I don't know, no human soul, or perhaps something else inhabiting the body? Not sure. Creepy though. Not sure how he went on to grow up. Re the sixth sense, I have trust issues due to childhood incidents with a few men in positions of trust, so am not inclined to easily take to people, but have still occasionally been tricked. I don't beat myself up about it, though. Having lived with a psychopath (stepdad) I know how very charming they can be and for how long. As to dogs knowing, I've had dogs I could trust to know, and dogs who either loved everyone or automatically distrusted everyone, so it would depend on the dog.

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  24. i live by my gut and i am rarely wrong. you are right, it's there for a reason.

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  25. My mantra is better safe than sorry, as I think I'm a good judge of character but have been proven wrong several times. If my gut says be careful, I don't override it, even if it's turned out fine in the past. Maybe I don't have a good gut instinct, just a cautious one.

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  26. Your gut instinct is crucial and I refuse to not listen to it.

    The dogs are adorable. :)

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  27. Trust your gut.

    And that's a beautiful photo of William and Mary.

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  28. Yes several years ago a vulnerable friend of mine became involved with a man I distrusted from the start. Suffice to say I was right.

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  29. Until now I had no idea that Trelawnyd was home to any Afro-Caribbean people. What were the two women arguing about?

    As for gut feelings... I have also found that my instincts are invariably accurate even if I cannot explain them.

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    1. .... oh you're slow today John .... 'black birds' !!

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  30. That looks just like "Simon's Cat" -- well done!

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  31. What if he's just a sad lonely socially inept old man who'd love a kind word or a cup of tea, but doesn't know how to ask?

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    1. It crossed my mind..but the " dangerous" thoughts sadly remain

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    2. And you don't have to fix or 'be there' for every person you meet. That way lies exhaustion.

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  32. Love the photos of William and Mary and the potato cat! If I have a gut feeling about someone I tend to steer clear so never know if I had cause to be wary or not.

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  33. I have always been a terrible judge of character. People fill me full of their BS saying how wonderful they are and I usually fall for it. Sometimes that's not a bad thing as I just don't sense bad vibes other people do so can carry on totally oblivious to office politics etc. and so far it hasn't hurt me. I don't wrack myself with angst about this stuff because I just don't sense it. However, many many years ago I met my colleague's 4-year old son. Now I love kids and go out of my way to play with them, but this kid, even at such a young age, had cold, hard eyes and I took an instant dislike to him. 30 years later we refer to him as Frank the Wank, and he doesn't disappoint. The eyes of a soulless psycho. Now his mom is a lovely, sweet (if extremely gullible) woman, but from what I understand dad could be the genetic throwback for Frank the Wank as he is an evil, violent bastard. Anna

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    1. Frank the wank.....now there's a name to remember

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  34. There is a man who we occasionally meet on dog walks. My schnauzer goes berserk barking when he sees him and recognises him from hundreds of yards away. He seems ok to me, but maybe the dog knows best!

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  35. One of my good friends in school had an older brother who was very... different. His family wouldn't speak of him, or if they did it was a warning to stay away from him.
    I went to stay with my schoolmate one weekend, she would take me riding with her, and her mother asked me to take a plate of food to this brother. When he opened his door, just looking at his face was like falling headfirst into a rattlesnake mating ball... as soon as I got back downstairs I called my parents and asked them to come and get me. Before the brother died in prison in 1994, he was found to have murdered 20 young men and boys.

    My gut feelings don't kick in often but when they do, well, I pay attention.

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  36. Well done Liz, my thoughts too. John do you think you are picking up on the man's fear? With some people the wall is impenetrable but could you try some cheery greetings to test your theory? I'm sure you are capable of withstanding a bugger off if it came to it.

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    1. Perhaps! I feel what I feel though!

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    2. I've reread your description and I apologise-something is not right.

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  37. My husband was a minister. I would tell him things about people in church. He accused me of talking bad about "his" church members. I heard a woman tell him to call on her if he needed anything done at church. She was adamant that she was willing to help anywhere.

    I told him she would never do anything but sing a solo. He was furious. One day, he asked her to fix communion before church since the regular could not. She could not get to church early enough. He had called her about 30 hours before she needed to be there. He called another Sunday and asked her to sub in the nursery with bed babies. She said she had on a dress that needed to be dry-cleaned, so she could not.

    Then, he called the woman to sing a solo. She jumped on this like white on rice. Finally, my husband admitted I knew things that he did not. He also never asked her to do anything else, including singing a solo.

    A few yeas ago, a friends 17-yr-old daughter was vying for top grades at graduation--valedictorian. Her nearest competitor was a friend, a girl. My friend said her daughter was talking on the phone all night and she did not know how she made top grades. Then, the teen said the other girl could never go out with friends, could not date, could not spend the night and could never have company either in the afternoons, weekends, or even to a friend's house.

    I immediately recognized the father as a sexual abuser. Two years later he was sentenced to prison for raping over 5 years this child he kept so close. Everything I heard in one conversation made me sure of his perversion. But, the friends and teen would have ridiculed me, so I did nothing. I regret that.

    Yes, I have met other people that give me a bad taste in my mouth. Most of the time I was right. The rest I had no further contact.

    My mother said I knew things and could make people respond over long distances. Yes, when I wished I could talk to her, she stopped cooking dinner to call me. There was always I problem and I needed to talk to her.

    I warn others of their companions and am always right. No, I am not jealous. I often wonder how I know.

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    1. Again , all I can say is bloody hell! Bloody hell!

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  38. I have learned the hard way that my gut feelings SHOULD be trusted.

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  39. When our girls were young we took them to Disney in Florida. One day we drove out into the countryside to get away from all the Mickey Mouse stuff and stopped off at a lake to admire the scenery. There was only one other car parked there with four youths some distance away. Suddenly I felt the hairs on my neck rise, and at the same time Paul looked at me and said "get back in the car girls, quickly", and we drove off. We both had exactly the same feeling of danger at the same time but never fully understood why. Just a gut instinct.

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    1. Its an animal instict sue..... You literally smelled the danger

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  40. I am an empathic person - I can tell what someone is like without them saying a word (as you have in this case). it is a very good skill to be born with. I can't give an instance of meeting someone with homicidal tendencies, but I swear by gut instincts.

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  41. my ex-husband; I never should have married him.

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    1. Antie glad was wearing your cardi the other day!

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    2. which one, dear? the white vest? she may have that one if she fancies it!

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    3. Yes the white one..she paid £8 for it!

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    4. bless her sweet heart! :)

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  42. Sadly I do not sense evil. 10 years ago at 3am I was outside the hospital I work in having a fly smoke , a patient was there n hospital pyjamas having general chit chat. Our security man I normally met at 3am called me over saying something wasn't,t right. He didn,t know what but felt he had to escort me back up to the ward.
    The patient in pyjamas was Peter Tobin serial killer hiding from police faking a stroke in a different name, he a week before killed Angelika Kluk.
    Why my friend the security guard knew something was wrong , to this day he says sixth sense. Police interviewed us both when we discovered who he was!.
    Lucky escape me thinks!.

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    1. Yikes! Bet you bought him a box of choccies after you found out!

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  43. This is a great post, John!

    I dont have any dramatic stories but there have been a few times my gut was right.

    The first time i was just a small girl, maybe 8 or 9, a new woman with a sob story came to church and hung around for a few weeks. I knew something was off about her even though I was so young. She eventually disappeared when she went to gaol on some kind of fraud conviction.

    There was a woman who became my manager, came to my workplace for an interview and the minute I saw her at a distance I knew she was trouble. She bullied me mercilessly and manipulated the bosses. I am pretty sure she was a sociopath.

    It's funny how the spidey senses work, there was a man who was on the edges of my social circle. My mum hated him on first look, I was neutral about the guy for a long time. I didnt especially like or dislike him. We eventually found out that he was emotionally abusive to his wife and children. He is still causing problems to the now ex-wife several years on

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  44. Great post. Yep, I think we all have it, but maybe some of us just don't recognize it. I think it harkens back to a long time ago and was a survival sense.

    As for experiences, I saw a guy in a parking lot once, he was broken down and was asking people for help, I had a bad feeling (and I'm usually very generous in trying to help if I can) and something told me he just wasn't sincere and something dangerous was possible.

    I walked quickly away from him and got in my car, locked the door and drove off. He was on the news the next day for robbing several people at gunpoint and he pistol whipped another just down the block from where I was parked.

    Go with you gut, it never fails you if you listen!

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  45. Years ago, I was working outside when a neighbor stepped outside for a smoke. He offered to help me a few times but I kept refusing. I felt he was bad news and I needed to keep my distance. About a year later, I found out he attacked and terrorized 2 different women and was sent to jail.

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  46. I was working as a dental hygienist in an office in San Andreas, a town in Calaveras county in California, around 1989. The dentist I worked for was Catholic and he was thrilled when the new priest for his parish came in for a teeth cleaning with me. I immediately took a dislike to him. He would never meet my eyes directly when he spoke to me. There was just something about him that I didn't like. The dentist and his receptionist were all "Oh, Father this and Father that" to him and fell all over themselves trying to ingratiate themselves to him. I was not impressed. Several years later the story came out that Father Oliver O'Grady had been sexually abusing both boys and girls, some 25 in all, for years and had been "kicked upstairs" from one parish to the next in a big cover-up.

    This from Wikipedia:
    Oliver O'Grady is the subject of the 2006 Academy Award-nominated documentary Deliver Us From Evil. O'Grady said he wanted the film to serve as the "most honest confession of [his] life." He details how he preyed on children, and claims Church officials knew about his abuses but protected him by moving him from parish to parish.O'Grady confirmed that his bishop knew that there were claims that he had abused children in 1976 and before, and that the diocese responded by transferring him to another parish. The film ends by saying that O'Grady is free in Ireland, but that an American priest is making efforts to see that he and other abusers are monitored.

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    1. Its a worry that several bloggers here have had run ins with serial killers...how common are they in the usa? Bloody hell

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    2. I don't know, but the dentist I was working for put his trust in this man unconditionally. And yet, he implied that my ability to dowse for water made me "a witch." And people wonder how the US could possibly be thinking about choosing Trump for president.

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    3. Also, my country is awash in guns.

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  47. Cold, dead eyes - how scary. I remember a man who had similar eyes who came into our home. Our German Shepherd ( who was a bit like Winnie and loved everyone - yes, very odd for a Shepherd !) sat on my feet and fixed him with a stare and growled constantly and softly .

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  48. They say the eyes are a window to the brain, which as a nurse you'll know is absolutely true.

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  49. My daughter had been looking forward to a school excursion to our capital Canberra,we had saved for ages and ages but when we went to the school meeting and meet the teachers helpers and deputy head; when we got home she said no she wasn't going nothing we said would change her mind so we let it be. Turns out the deputy head is a peadophile, was also using school Internet for child porn.

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  50. Perhaps he angry, perhaps he's ill, or both...or...perhaps he's KILLER JOE!!!

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  51. John the serial killer I met at 3am was a UK, one .shudder, thank god my security guard pal had a gut feeling!.

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  52. Years ago a carpet fitter came to the house to put down the lounge and dining room carpet. When he came in, I didn't like his eyes.........cold.I thought I was being silly, was about 26 then. Suddenly, my usually well behaved laid back ginger tom cat came in, took one look at this man, and hissed for Britain, all the fur on the back of his neck stood up and he ran out of the house. As it was summer, I went into the garden until the carpet was down. The whole situation was horrid until he left.

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