I have not seen Bunty for an age.
Not that this bit of information is in anyway surprising given the fact that I don't have her phone number and she has obviously lost mine.
But I kind of wish that she lived a bit closer to us, for I do find her entertaining in a big butch lesbian kind of way.
For those that don't know Bunty first appeared in Trelawnyd many moons ago. She bought some very aggressive geese from me and her foul mouth, blustering way and fuck 'em attitude entertained me from the very get-go.
She is not a lady to be trifled with.
At the time she lived with her long term policewoman girlfriend up in the hills somewhere, but commuted into England daily for her job ( which she never spoke about) she loved her livestock, cut her hair short with a masculine side parting and had arms like hams.
Anyhow, I tell you all this in way of background colour for when I was just about to turn up the Marian with the dogs, she stopped her jeep on the main road.
" HELLO GRAYBAGS!" She bellowed ( Graybags is the nickname she gave me when we first met)
" You look like shite! "
I explained that I had gone into work this morning only to find out I was infact on night shift, and that was why I looked so tired
Someone beebed her as she hadn't put her indicators on so she bellowed out of her window a very lusty " PISSSSSSSSSS OFFFFFFFFFF" before giving me a big smile
" what's new? " she asked.
It must have been well over nine months or so since I had bumped into her and so I was thinking about our news to share before Bunty jumped in to tell me all hers .....
Apparantly she had split from the policewoman ( who had been banging a fellow copper) , had met a new beau on line , and had moved in with her and her 5 year old daughter in a semi detached bungalow in Towyn on the coast all within a month.
The new girlfriend, I was reliably informed, was a divorced lipstick lesbian with a body like Jessica Rabbit.
" why don't you bring her to the Flower Show?" I suggested " I'd like to meet her"
and Bunty laughed one of her long lusty laughs
" FLOWER SHOW?" She bellowed " We're not friggin dead yet!"
She then pointed to Mary and asked " Is he new? "
" Yes" I said lifting Mary up to the jeep window " Her name is Mary!"
Bunty kissed her on the nose and cackled
" Auntie Mary had a canary up the leg of her drawers
When she farted....it departed
To a round of applause! "
And with that she sped off into the distance, waving a big fat arm out of the window....I could hear her laughing until her jeep passed the garage shop a hundred yards away!