Monday, 13 June 2016

Arse Cheeks on The Llanasa Road

crocs, pink socks, trackie bottoms and rain ....a real fashion statement

Everyday, Mary and I do a two mile powerwalk.
We return to the village on the upper Llanasa Road, which bordered by high slightly overgrown hedges.
It's common to be faced with the odd farm tractor but most of the traffic is confined to the odd car or large horsey 4 x 4.
One regular large jeep I meet, is one driven by a childhood friend Sue, who grazes her horses on the side of Gop hill , and often we will stop and chat at the side of the road.
In fact we met yesterday and caught up with local gossip.
Today I saw her again , right at the top of the hill, so anticipating a quick chat, I picked Mary up under one arm and took a small step out to meet her.
Only it wasn't Sue, as it turned out it was a rather rough looking woman with bad teeth who was driving a little too fast.
The woman swerved slightly as I stood there then stopped her car a few feet away. She looked angry
" I fucking almost hit you!" She bellowed " What were you doing?!"
" I thought you were someone else" I explained and was just about to apologise for standing a little too far into the road  when the woman shouted " Jesus ! " and Gunned her jeep to continue her journey up the hill.
I hope she was looking in her rear view mirrow, for on impulse I pulled down the left side of my tracksuit bottoms and flashed a large white arse cheek at her! 

37 comments:

  1. Bad teeth and driving fast? Maybe she had an appointment with the emergency dentist?!!! Oh John, you do meet 'em. I hope your day improves. Why don't you bake yourself a nice treat or go and get a scotch egg. x

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  2. She called you Jesus! Jesus Gray has a nice ring to it - much better than the common John Gray. Can you perform miracles like walking on water in your crocs? Maybe Pruitt and his followers will nail you to a cross. Eastertime would be best.

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    1. wahahhahhahahha
      How can any of us compete with this comment.
      So clever and so funny.

      cheers, parsnip and thehamish

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  3. I would pay good money to see a pix of your "large white arse cheek"; good on ya, john! :)

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    1. ...or did you mean that J.G. should pay YOU money for having a look?

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    2. I wouldn't.... some things are best left to the imagination :-)

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  4. Nothing like a big mouth driving too fast to interrupt a lovely day .. I hope she is quickly becoming a vague memory.

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  5. You go! Give em hell or a little moonshine :)

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  6. Mooning............you do make me laugh.
    :-)

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  7. I hope she saw your bum flash.

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  8. Ha! That does make me laugh!

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  9. Surely do hope that you all never meet again.

    A quiet and peaceful walk is beneficial.

    Best wishes.

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  10. Those car drivers who think they own the road are a public menace. About time she realised people other than her also have a right to the asphalt.

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  11. Thank goodness for elastic waist pants.

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  12. Oh John - isn't that called 'lowering the tone in Trelawnyd?'

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  13. She might return for a repeat performance tomorrow, good on ya !!

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  14. You'll have black bin bags up at your windows next ;-)

    And how you 'power walk' in Crocs is beyond me!!

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  15. Sounds like an appropriate response, for sure.

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  16. Very cheeky, John, very cheeky... :D

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  17. Well done Sir!!

    MissFifi

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  18. I hope the glare from your arse cheek dazzled her in the rear view (excuse the pun) mirror.

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  19. Did the glare from your cheek temporarily blind her? Was she able to stay on the road?

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  20. Lucky you weren't hit, John!

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  21. If you get the chance, make it a double..both cheeks! And tell us all about it!

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  22. boring compared to you, i would have flipped her the bird!

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  23. Rather seen bad teeth than your arse

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  24. Hilarious! I hope she looked back too. And what a story you have for Sue!

    Cindy Bee

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  25. Be careful, Sue may ask for a replay LOL

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  26. How cheeky of you!

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  27. Hahaha!! Good for you rude bitch!

    Jo in Auckland, NZ

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  28. Bah, all for the want of a comma, I meant "Good for you, rude bitch!

    Jo in Auckland, NZ

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  29. Oh, I hope she was looking to. If you ever showed up here, I'm sure your fashions would end up on my blog.

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