" More Moviprep Darling?"


" We better get some more loo roll" 
So said The Prof in between making loud raspberry noises from the kitchen.
Never let it be said that his humour is nothing but sophisticated.
Presently I am resting my right knee on the couch. True the rest of my body is resting with it, but my knee in particular is in need of some rest and relaxation as yesterday  it has suddenly decided to swell dramatically, however, this affliction has been, somewhat over shadowed by the imminent prospect of me drinking two litres of what can only be described as, liquid nitroglycerine, prior to tomorrow's fairly innocuous sounding medical procedure - the dreaded colonoscopy. 
The liquid nitroglycerine is called moviprep and later today and tomorrow morning, because of it, I shall be spending long long periods on the loo with my ipad.
Now you can understand, just a little more, just why raspberry fart noises are emanating from the kitchen.

Apparently you can either have a "light sedation" prior to the camera's insertion  or just plump for the "gas and air" option. Gas'n air is, I am told , the choice of people that are either DEAD HARD or ones that can't rely on a responsible adult to pick them up. I am choosing the sedation route.
If it was up to me, I would prefer being comatose from this morning until tomorrow night, but unfortunately that is not a viable option, which is a pity. I wouldn't have to listen to many more toilet paper jokes if I was unconcious!
Having said this, I am trying to see the whole thing from a more humorous stance, and given the age range of Going Gently's  readership I am sure there is a score of happy bloggers who have bitten great chunks out their pillows when they have undergone similar invasive procedures and would like to share the whole process with me.

So think of me.....think of me fondly a little later today.
I shall be resting my knee as the bottom literally falls out of my world.
Hey ho

74 comments:

  1. I did some swift talking to get out of a colonoscopy recently. You have my absolute sympathy and very many good wishes.
    xo

    ReplyDelete
  2. I have heard the laxative(putting it mildly) is far far worse than the procedure. Just trying to get to the hospital had a friend of mines husband screaming that there was no way she was getting into his car (he had witnessed the bottom falling out). In the end she had to wear nappies and have the front seat covered within an inch of its life. Sorry not the sort of info you need on a sunny sunday. Good Luck

    ReplyDelete
  3. On a lighter note I have just found this and was really moved that such beauty has come out of the most dreadful adversity.
    http://www.josierussell.com/
    You may remember the dreadful beating she took whilst her mother and sister lay dead. I stumbled across this by accident and feel really moved by the gorgeous pictures she creates

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh John. Just that. Bless you. Vx

    ReplyDelete
  5. Find humor in it, good luck.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I had my first one a few years back - with sedation. The physician complemented my bowel prep on the written report afterward. Apparently my colon was clean enough to eat off of.

    ReplyDelete
  7. My husband has had it done twice now, and trust me, the laxative is the worst part. You won't feel a thing. You should wake up feeling fine. :) Good luck!!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Endured two last year then a surgery. You have my sympathy. However, remember this...better out than in AND you'll be several pounds lighter by tomorrow! Positively svelte. X

    ReplyDelete
  9. I had a cystoscopy and adored every minute of it. Relax, you should have stayed awake. I ended up looking down the camera with the consultant.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Minor correct - shouldn't that be the world falling out of your bottom?

    I shouldn't make light of something I've yet to experience, but it seems to be the diagnostic test of choice for everything from earache to athletes foot these days.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Sedation. The prep is the worse part of the whole procedure!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Indeed! Do the ghastly prep right so they can have a good look while they are in there. You certainly don't want to have to do it again if the procedure doesn't go well!

      Delete
  12. I had to do the liquid nitroglycerin treatment for a kidney stone imaging. It was horrible. Anything after that was easy breezy, so by the time they approach you with the colon camera, the worst will be behind you.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I had one a few years ago, for me the worse thing was the totally uncaring staff who ignored me whilst jabbing a needle in the back of my hand. Getting said needle in the wrong place, 3 times, then removing it when it was in the correct place. Getting blood all over my legs and still ignoring me as they were too busy talking between themselves about their plans for the weekend.

    ReplyDelete
  14. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Gotta accompany The FW tomorrow for a cystoscopy. yay. He actually asked me to be there. As I am not cruel, I agreed to go. I shall take s0me crochet to occupy my precious time.
    This past two weeks I have watched my best mate suffer in hosp and her new fiance deal with the mental agonies so sweetly, calmly and considerately that I wept later. To have such a good person in one's life is not in my remit, it seems.
    Hope tomorrow goes well for you.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I'm of an age (and more) that I should have one, and it was on the books last spring until we were so rudely interrupted by open-heart surgery. It's time to get one scheduled, so I shall look forward to your musings on the experience...

    ReplyDelete
  17. Bloody phone! I had one done in January and only needed 3 puffs of gas and air as he went across my transverse colon. I went home on 2 buses afterwards. The consultant said I was made of strong stuff, which is possible as I've given birth with no pain relief and had an ectopic pregnancy on the point of rupture which was uncomfortable rather than agonising. I think the Moviprep was worse as the consistency is quite thick and syrupy. Drink loads of fluids in addition to the moviprep- it helps to flush everything through

    ReplyDelete
  18. Hope every thing comes out alright.

    Be careful with those drugs, I have heard many secrets from sedated people!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Go to your happy place, John. Good luck.

    ReplyDelete
  20. I had a colonoscopy done three years ago and will have to have it repeated every three/four years, so another one is due soon. The prep is the worst part of it! I opted not to have sedation and honestly, didn't feel a thing - there are no nerve endings in the colon that can sense pain. I watched the whole procedure on the screen and I won't have sedation next time either.

    Just make sure you complete the prep properly so that your insides are clean enough - you don't want them to have to reschedule the procedure.

    ReplyDelete
  21. It's a great name isn't it - Moviprep? Don't be brave, have the sedation.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Praying for a good outcome "in the end".

    ReplyDelete
  23. My friend gave in to temptation and ate general tso's chicken on the day she took her prep. Of course the results were too cloudy and she had to repeat it. The prep is a lot of liquid but you do feel great after. Good luck and I hope your results are perfect.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Oh dear…soon be over! Treat yourself to a scotch egg afterwards.

    ReplyDelete
  25. NOTHING TO IT! Once you've had a couple it becomes so routine. My family is riddled with colon cancer, crohns disease, ulcerative colities and the like. I am SO SO THANKFUL for this diagnostic proceedure.

    ReplyDelete
  26. I can't really tell you how it felt because the anesthesia made me forget everything except the prep part and the needle part. Anesthesia amnesia!!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Never heard it said better . . .
    Except the bit about your leg . . .
    What's up with that!!!

    ReplyDelete
  28. I'd have to be fully unconscious - minimum!....I need gas and air for a trip to the hairdressers...

    ReplyDelete
  29. Tapping away on an i-pad while sitting on the toilet may not be very hygienic. By the way, which site will you be looking at while ensconced on your throne? ColonscopyNightmares.com?

    ReplyDelete
  30. Sedation is definitely the route to go! The colonoscopy itself is no big deal -- it's the 24 hour prep beforehand that's the misery! Good luck!

    ReplyDelete
  31. Anonymous3:34 pm

    Literally shitting yourself at the prospect of a colonoscopy.
    Someone had to say it - might as well be me.

    ReplyDelete
  32. My bil was awake the first time (the only one I know about, because of the following tidbit). He watched on the screen as the doctor did the procedure. He wondered if he could have a copy of the video.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Apparently I am just a whore under sedation, my first and to date last colonoscopy was a blur. Once I regained my full scenes at home later, I found I had a pocket full of phone numbers ????

    ReplyDelete
  34. Oh heck this was the stuff that................Oh better not tell you that until later. Good luck!

    ReplyDelete
  35. Fortunately, my sudden move has postponed my first colonoscopy indefinitely.

    I'm so pleased by that, might just move again when the subject arises. =D

    ReplyDelete
  36. Hope your iPad is keeping you amused and that the Prof is providing drinks for the top end. Heartfelt sympathy - I'm sure the purging is the worst bit. But you'll feel light as a feather afterwards! Be thinking about you tomorrow.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Gas & Air for the hardnuts? I had a colonoscopy years ago - I'd been kicked in my lower back, and was in considerable pain. (I was caught in a crush on Regent Street, a woman thought I'd shoved her and knocked her bag so started laying into me. Fool that I was, I thought someone would drag her off, but she only ran when the police turned up) Close to passing out, some friends dragged me to the Royal Free. the investigation showed nothing serious, but where I'd been kicked had swollen and crushed part of my lower intestine.

    I chose gas and air over sedation as there were no needles involved. I spent the whole procedure giggling, and set the medics off several times.

    ReplyDelete
  38. Good luck tomorrow John . I found it better to take the medication in the room next to the bathroom because it isn't as far to run !!.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Ah. Your movie is being made at last. Not sure it will be on general release though - assuming they get the camera back.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This comment made me howl with laughter. Oh, Tom!

      Delete
  40. I've never had a colonoscopy, but I expect it's a lot less horrific than you imagine. Nonetheless, I think I would also take the light sedation route, just in case.

    ReplyDelete
  41. Good luck with your procedure. My DH has had about 3 of these procedures. The first time on the way to the hospital we didn't even make it out of our driveway, he had to run back in to the loo. Like everyone has said before me the prep is far worse than the actual procedure. The worst part for me (ha ha I didn't have it done) was having to listen to all the moaning about the clear fluids diet!!! Oh, and the sore bum, diaper rash ointment might be a good idea.

    ReplyDelete
  42. I chose sedation, but am allergic to the first-choice drug. Told them in advance; no one noticed. They had to scramble to find an alternative, then administered far too much. Sent me home in a non-responsive state and it was 3 days before I came out of it. Never again. I'll take the blood-test option.

    ReplyDelete
  43. Bottoms up, and hope all goes well!

    ReplyDelete
  44. I did this last year, Moviprep and all. The light sedation was VERY light, so I re-enacted the Mad Scene from Lucia di Lammermoor until the doctor gave me lots more. What's the point in having a "medical procedure" if you don't get the perks? All of this was carried out in Italian, by the way, 'cos that's where I live.

    ReplyDelete
  45. Your blog is named ´disasterfilm´ and the stuff you are taking ´moviprep´.
    Who thinks of a punch line?

    ReplyDelete
  46. I think I can safely say I have had every bodily orifice examined by a Doctor or a Mr as the consultants are called over the years. Been well for years but sadly one due tomorrow so you have my sympathy. It isn't too bad x

    ReplyDelete
  47. Be extra careful with the bleach, you don't want to arrive with a "target" on your backside.

    ReplyDelete
  48. OOH, poor John!!
    But I'm confident you'll go through it with flying standards( otherwise, flying bandadges...) . I thought the opposit insertion of camera was horrible, but there you have a clearer view so to speak, and therefor several more options for concern...
    We'll bear you in mind and your homecoming will of course be heroic!! I hope the outcome of it all will be a good one,

    ReplyDelete
  49. The prep is definitely worse than the procedure! If you have more of the ghastly liquid to drink it sounds strange but a good tip I was given was to drink it through a straw goes down faster and you don't have to taste it too much!

    ReplyDelete
  50. Good luck for tomorrow John :-)

    ReplyDelete
  51. The prep is definitely worse than the procedure! If you have more of the ghastly liquid to drink it sounds strange but a good tip I was given was to drink it through a straw goes down faster and you don't have to taste it too much!

    ReplyDelete
  52. Just think you get a camera up your arse.

    ReplyDelete
  53. I had one this year. The only good thing about this procedure is the sandwiches and cuppa after. I know that just before I'm knocked out I think about that tube going up my bum ......

    ReplyDelete
  54. Typical of me...nothing much has happened as yet
    Late for everything!

    ReplyDelete
  55. I won't tell you how mine went, but I hope I never have to go through it again. Good luck.

    ReplyDelete
  56. My first one a few years ago with sedation almost threw me off the table! He couldn't complete it. So the next one I was anesthetized. My last one in January I was sedated with more drugs and it went very well! Don't be afraid to ask for more sedation if you need it as the process goes on....I did and they obliged. I was as 'clean as a whistle' he said and wanted me to come back in 5 years. OK by me!
    Good luck John and as many have said, the prep is the worst part.

    ReplyDelete
  57. I was at the other side of all this foolishness for Jimbo X 2 as the responsible adult "caretaker" of sorts for HRH. Now it's my turn on Friday! At least I know what to expect but that's quite different than actually participating apparently! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!!!

    ReplyDelete
  58. All the best. Perhaps the dehydrating effect of the laxative will ease the swelling in you knee. Or am I getting muddled with diuretics. xo

    ReplyDelete
  59. Lots of medazolon called for...I did and I wasn't aware at all. Love the medazolon !!!

    ReplyDelete
  60. Much easier to have a liquid diet for a day or two before the procedure. Then the prep is less difficult. I always thought it was a good excuse to take a nap.

    ReplyDelete
  61. Sounds like a performance in three acts ... none of them particularly pleasant! Hope its all over soon.

    ReplyDelete
  62. You chose correctly when you picked sedation. In the US, the nasty stuff is called "Go Lightly." What idiot came up with that name? But colon cancer is no laughing matter. I have to have it done every 5 years. No fun. Good luck.

    ReplyDelete
  63. As i expected, It would seem that this is a common international event with bloggers my age! And i thought i was unique!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You ARE unique John, in many other ways, I'm sure. I think the good Lord has some kind of list... and I feel sorry for you all the same, unique or not. Good Outcome!!

      Delete
    2. John, maybe the Prof can use all this 'data' for a thesis/study!

      Delete
  64. I hope the 'world has fallen out of your bottom' by now John.....bottoms up and think of England...wishing you well.x

    ReplyDelete
  65. Thinking of you fondly. Jobs a goodun as they say in the shire where l live.

    ReplyDelete
  66. Oh, yeah, we've all been there. The prep is the worst part, just like everybody says, but I went the sedation route -- I can't really vouch for the non-sedation option!

    ReplyDelete
  67. See john hope it's not too bad. I'd go for sedation, had gas and air and it's crap.

    ReplyDelete
  68. See john hope it's not too bad. I'd go for sedation, had gas and air and it's crap.

    ReplyDelete

I love all comments Except abusive ones from arseholes