Thursday, 19 May 2016

Epitaph


With yesterdays chatter about tombstones, I thought I would share with you mine.......I'm not planning to pop off this mortal coil too soon, but it's always best to be prepared.....
What's your graveyard epitaph ? I'd be interested to know



Here lies
John Gray
Formally of Bwthyn Y Llan , Trelawnyd
Friend, Brother, Husband
Blogger, Nurse
and fabulous Dog Owner

" I 'll admit I may have seen better days
But I'm still not to be had for the price of a cocktail
Like a salted peanut" 



76 comments:

  1. Formerly not formally?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dammm auto correct!

      Delete
    2. Shouldn't auto-correct be hyphenated?

      Delete
    3. Dont set the old fart off

      Delete
    4. And you are smart arse nickolas

      Delete
    5. Nicholas, not Nickolas?

      Delete
    6. Isn't there a hyphen in 'smart-arse'?

      Delete
  2. No plans on a stone.

    Just leaving cash for a piss up and pizza/Chinese food. Gift cards to posh shops for a few good friends (already bought and in an envelope)

    Scatter my ashes, let me run free, and braless

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love the idea Of gift cards... Trouble is, don't they come with an end date? I may have to buy some and pop £20 notes in.

      Delete
  3. Mine will have one statement " See you soon"

    ReplyDelete
  4. I hope to have an eco funeral. No headstone, no coffin. I would like to feed a tree.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. EC,
      some people are doing lovely natural fibre shrouds with their eco funerals. I like that idea.

      Delete
    2. kylie: That would be lovely.

      Delete
    3. This is exactly what I have in mind as well. Trouble is, it's so darned expensive, even without any funeral, as I intend. There'd be no one there anyway, so why bother?

      Delete
    4. I think a cremation only costs a few hundred pounds. Just forget all the other bells and whistles.

      Delete
    5. Silly I know, Nick, but I can't get me head around being shoved into a furnace - just in case. Would rather decompose in gradual 'natural' style rather than the process being chivvied along.

      Delete
    6. Cremation ony funerals cost around £1300. I paid for one last year. They just collect your body, have you cremated and either ship the ashes back to whoever (at a cost) or scatter them for you. It is the way I shall go too. Then my good friends and loved ones can go and scatter me somewhere and have a nice meal afterwards.

      Delete
  5. No stone, cremated and strewn.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I wouldn't mind if they use my body in a university hospital but by then there will probably be nothing left that they can use so just throw me in the ocean.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Cremation, the family tradition, for me. But if I were to have a headstone it might read 'I tried'.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Not original but mine is...
    I told you I was sick.

    ReplyDelete
  9. The fave one I have come across is this one: "She never moved the stars from their courses, but she loved a good man & she rode good horses."

    We're not having headstones or funerals. We're just having our ashes scattered at our favorite beach with those of our dogs.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I'll be cremated, so no headstone.
    If there was one it would probably read something like: "He was born, he sort of coped, then he died."

    ReplyDelete
  11. "Fabulous dog owner" or "Owner of fabulous dogs"?
    (Not asked to grammar pick, genuinely wish to clarify)

    ReplyDelete
  12. "Her subscription ran out"

    ReplyDelete
  13. "I don't want a return ticket."

    ReplyDelete
  14. I love your grave epitaph! Mine would be:

    She ran out of blogs........

    ReplyDelete
  15. He played the joker, when once he held the ace.

    ReplyDelete
  16. As Frida Kahlo allegedly stated on her death bed " I wish never to return ".

    ReplyDelete
  17. Is that a stream of bird crap on Mr. Oh No's grave marker or part of the joke? I'd like to be cremated but a memorial plaque in the family bone yard!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Body off to teaching hospital. Epitaph best ever 'I told you I was sick, or was it ill', Spike Milligan.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Here lie
    The mortal remains of
    YORKSHIRE PUDDING
    Returning to earth
    Necrophiles keep off!

    ReplyDelete
  20. 'His debts died with him'.

    ReplyDelete
  21. We're going to be cremated and our ashes scattered in a river in Lancashire 😊

    ReplyDelete
  22. She was a nice lady!

    In reality, cremated and scattered by Buttermere in the Lakes.

    ReplyDelete
  23. For all the oseopaths out there: "She had a deep lordosis." (Said by every single osteopath I've seen in an admiring/shocked tone.)

    ReplyDelete
  24. My tombstone would read "Ha ha, fooled you, I was cremated."

    ReplyDelete
  25. "The Final Adventure"

    ReplyDelete
  26. I love that auto-correct error! Nothing formal about you, is there?!? I can't even imagine what I would want mine to say. Mitchell is Moving might not be appropriate... then again...

    ReplyDelete
  27. I have just stumbled across your blog and I am enchanted.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You have taste jody welcome!

      Delete
    2. Your enchantment won't last :-) Then you will join the rest of us chuckling and cringing in equal nmeasures

      Delete
  28. As usual the replies are better than the original post

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It wouldn't take much to improve on dog poo and chicken fat, ha ha.

      Delete
    2. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
    3. But the responses aren't, no matter how hard you try to reply to all comments.

      Delete
  29. I'll just have to time it so that I'm off PDQ in the Yellow bin bag.

    ReplyDelete
  30. I want this is tiny writing; As I look down from my heavenly rest, I think " Oi you twat, Get off my chest!".
    I actually want cremating, with my remains sneaked into the bacon bits at a restaurant salad bar.

    ReplyDelete
  31. You have inspired me, John.
    I've always wanted "And if thou shalt, remember. And if thou shalt, forget". Seems to sum up my life pretty well.
    But now, reading yours, I want it to be "Fasten my safety belt, it's going to be a bumpy ride".
    Or better yet...."Here lies carlnepa, a graduate of the Copacabana school of acting".

    ReplyDelete
  32. Yo pretendo cremarme, pero tal vez el epitafio podría ser:
    "Aquí yace Maru, una habitante rara en un planeta extraño del cual nunca se sintió parte"

    ReplyDelete
  33. One of my favourite authors ( you would love him, John, he writes the most absurd stories) Fritiof Nilsson Piraten has got these lines on his tombstone: "Underneath here lies the ashes of a man who used to postpone everything to the next day. Eventually he improved on his last day and died for real the 31th of january 1972" As for my own, my family have their free choice, I won't interfere....

    ReplyDelete
  34. I like it John! I've just had to make the decisions for my brother headstone that passed away last year. It's hard because you want it to say who they are in as few words as possible. This is why I've decided to not have one. I want to be cremated and buried in an eco-forest under a tree. There's a place nearby that will even allow your pets ashes to be spread around you. How's that?? ...And no, I'm not kidding.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Simple minds... don't you forget about me.

    ReplyDelete
  36. During my dramatic moments I claim that my headstone should read: "The rugged road is at its end. The cart is broken all to pieces." It's almost a quote from Charles Dickens; I just changed it a little bit. In reality, though, I want to be cremated. I told my husband to take a trip to the sea and scatter my ashes in the water. He, on the other hand, wants an earth burial in his hometown.

    ReplyDelete
  37. I want to be cremated and my ashes spread at Point Addis, my favourite beach. No, not the nudie section. 'Death ends a life but does not end a relationship, which struggles on in the survivors mind toward some resolution it may never find.'

    ReplyDelete
  38. Mine will read here lies Dawn she lived it loud and proud.

    ReplyDelete
  39. My husband is going through the curtains to the sound of you'll never walk alone wearing full Liverpool strip (he's an Everton fan) coz you gotta have a laugh to the very end.

    ReplyDelete
  40. Just want to be wrapped in a shroud with an acorn. I think it would be lovely to live on as a stately oak tree!

    ReplyDelete
  41. I like you epitaph! I think my quote would be that Wendell Barry line, "Be joyful, though you have considered all the facts."

    ReplyDelete
  42. Nice. Me? I'm going to be cremated and have my ashes shot out into space.

    ReplyDelete
  43. I want to be buried at sea, which means they'll cremate me, unless we're more than three miles offshore (hmm, wonder if we'll have switched to metric by then).

    Were I to have a headstone, I think the epitaph should read:
    Statistical outlier

    ReplyDelete
  44. How about "Keep the line moving!"

    ReplyDelete

I love comments and will now try very hard to reply to all of them
Please dont be abusive x