Wednesday, 25 May 2016

Bitch Fight



Don't you just love it when your child acts in an exemplary fashion when the rest of the class are all done for shoplifting?
It kind of reflects on you as a parent don't you think? ......., so you can sit in the Teacher's open day with a self congratulatory smug bastard smile on your face ?.
I had such a smile on my face today.
It was vet's time again, and this time Mary was the patient with two rather inflamed and painful ears! We got to the vets early in the hope of a quick " in & out" consultation but when I got there ( in the futile hope that the George Clooney vet or even the  Russell Crowe junior vet were on duty) I was disappointed to see that the large waiting room was half full.
Everyone had a dog, and as we waited for the new Spanish señorita vet to become free, more and more dogs and their owners arrived.
You could feel the tension in the air!
Everything went tits up when a bad tempered black lab bitch and her two jack russell friends lost it when a bearded collie walked a little too close for comfort. Within seconds the four had turned barking and snarling at each other like a bunch of  Barnsley butch lesbians at the Cossak pub in Sheffield . A farm collie and a border terrier with a cast on it's leg leapt into the fray and within seconds there were elderly owners being dragged  across the floor and chairs being knocked over.
The noise was deafening.
One lady owner ( who had one jack russell by the scruff of the  neck ) kept shouting to her husband " Geoffrey  GEOFFREY ! GEOFFREY!!!!!" For some obscure reason, so much so that the rosy faced Irish vet ran around the front to order that some of the instigators be taken outside.
Only Mary and a near catatonic teacup  Chihuahua called Twinkle ( who was wearing a pink tartan three quarter length coat ) remained silent.
(I was later told than Twinkle had a long standing anxiety problem)

Mary enjoyed the mayhem and did what all Welsh terriers always do when faced with the absurd or the new, she sat and watched the proceedings without moving a muscle.

When , eventually the labrador had been removed and the other dogs had all but settled down, the Spanish vet called Out " MARY GRAY " in a rather attractive lisping way, and Mary and I both got up primly and with some dignity and showed the room just how a well bred young lady should act in public .

It's all in the breeding I thought!




71 comments:

  1. Wow, what excitement for you, John! I could just picture it all as you described it to us. My favorite part was about Twinkle in her wee pink coat! Hahahahaha!!

    And well done, Mary Gray. :)

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    1. I did take a small photo on my ipad after all the fun
      But prudence stopped me posting it

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  2. Good for Mary and good for you. The prof would have been so proud of you both. Were you wearing crocs and have pj's under your trackies?

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    1. Nope, clean jeans , deck shoes and no gravy down my t shirt

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    2. I suspect the chance of seeing a Clooney or Crowe clone may have influenced your attire...

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    3. It would influence MY attire. lol.

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  3. Refinement shows, doesn't it?

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  4. Cant stop laughing....! Your words need no images.

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  5. I hope that Mary will soon recover from her sore ears. My schnauzer has been at the vet's today for sedation and ear cleaning etc.The initial treatment last Friday of injection and pills didn't work! He has come home with 3 lots of pills, and a swab has been sent off. He is still an unhappy looking dog……I guess the sedation needs a while to wear off? I hate to see him looking so sad.

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    1. She looks a little sorry for herself

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  6. Did you reward yourself with a scotch egg..... Good parenting always shows :-)

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    1. I contempleted it... But was good

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  7. What a picture you paint - love it! Wonder if Twinkle now has PTSD as well as anxiety...?

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    1. I made up the name but apparantly the anxiety was a real affliction

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  8. What a riot ! So pleased that Mary behaved herself and was able to set a good example.
    Our vet makes appointments - just like a doctor, so there are rarely more than a couple of animals waiting at a time. Mostly they seem pretty calm and well behaved - but there's always a first time !

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  9. Mary is a class act.

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  10. Seesh! What a beautifully mannered dog you have in Mary. I can imagine that Skabenga (my 40kg black lab) would have wet himself right then and there.

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  11. like a bunch of Barnsley butch lesbians at the Cossak pub in Sheffield .
    You have been around! Well done, Mary.

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  12. Hysterical! My old, a border/collie would have bitten somebody. But how admirable of Mary - dignified and above the fray..not in small part due to dad.

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  13. You can't beat good breeding.

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  14. good girl, mary! get well soon!

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  15. What a riot !
    Loved that Mary was a Lady. Breeding plus good parenting on your part.
    Poor Chihuahua, they have major problems because they are small and breed to be nasty watch dogs. Training is not high on their list. Plus bred down to teacup size, that is a whole lot of anxiety and fight in a teacup.
    Tucson's shelters are filled with chihuahuas and pitbulls from Mexico and they are raised for fighting and watchdogs. I feel so sorry for these dog of these irresponsible owners.

    Mary and her pack has the the best parent ever !
    cheers, parsnip and thehamish

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  16. Lucky soul, I always worry that Jack will start the commotion. I know - no class.

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  17. Well done that Welsh terrier!
    Afraid Tess would have been in the thick of it.

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  18. Shades of Hairy McClairy at the vets! Any parrots around?

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    1. No only a siamese in a cat box

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  19. Well done Mary, you did your dad proud. My elderly dog used to let everything wash over her at the vets but always deposited a stinky pile at the reception as I paid the bill. She always had comic timing.

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  20. Really mad me chuckle, read it out to my daughter, she likes an update of whats going on from time to time X

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  21. Mary obviously knows the meaning of "quiet dignity".

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  22. What a lady! I've not had a lot of dogs, but my beloved Sandy (dog) would have jumped on my lap and hid his head under my arm... what a wimp. Mary did better... she had manners and just watched all those rude children ;-)

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    1. Like i said before, sitting and watching is a welsh terrier trait

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  23. A lady indeed! Good breeding for you both I think.

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  24. One of the funniest bits I've ever read.

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  25. Are there any Chihuahuas without anxiety disorders?? I loved this description. You made me laugh at the end of a rather crappy work day. Thank you. -Jenn

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    1. Jenn tell me about your day.....that would probably make me titter

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  26. Lady Mary! I know you were proud of her!

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  27. Yay for Mary! What a darling!! Your description of the chaos was priceless - righted my ship for the day, after a sleepless night - thank you John.

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    1. You are very welcome virginia x

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  28. I've always thought that environment (good parenting) trumps breeding. I also believe that we all learn by observing others. You set a good example, John. Goodness, you could be writing new installments of All Creatures Great and Small.

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    1. I'll write for play school if they'd pay me

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  29. Isn't Mary Gray a lovely name. Such a poppet.

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  30. I have never thought of her as Mary Gray. She sounds like the leading lady in a Jane Austen novel. And Twinkle!!!!!!! A three quarter length coat!!!!! Long standing anxiety problem!!!!!! This is better than watching TV, I swear.

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    1. There's always crap on tv

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  31. If I had to wear pink tartan, I would also have some anxiety. Thanks for making me laugh.

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  32. To be fair it LOOKED expensive

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  33. Such a fabulous stage name your pup has!
    I have a jack, but mine is special needs and at the vet she is chill. Last time we were there for a check up, a very vocal pit bull was in a corner area with his/her owner who kept reminding the dog it was not his/her house and he/she could not be chatty at every single animal that came in. To be honest, the dog's behavior reminded me of a husky. The dog was very funny and sweet to the people that took a seat near her. Pit bulls don't have a good rep by any means, but this woman had total control of her dog and you got to see how much of a sweet breed they can be. Shame that they got used by thugs for fighting.

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    1. Dogs are like people in situations of stress they bicker

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  34. Well done Mary! I laughed at the description of the fight and how loud it was. Seriously though it's never nice to be involved in one. I had a mad Doberman who could carry on I whilst walking. The scathing looks people give to owners of dogs who are misbehaving is very funny though.

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    1. Its a new building so a bit prefab
      Thats why it sounded so loud

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  35. This is the funniest post yet I have never laughed so much reading and visualizing the situation I can imagine a few stressed owners. Sounds like made for TV episode. Good girl Mary.

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  36. I lost it at the "pink tartan three quarter length coat" Honestly John, you do make me laugh. X

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  37. As proud as if Mary was mine.

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  38. Love this story. Made me laugh.

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  39. That must have been a very uncouth Lab'; they're usually so calm. It always surprises me how quiet all the dogs are at my vet's. Our day will probably come!

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  40. Good girl Mary! For John - don't let it go to your head. As a co-worker stated this afternoon "The room is only big enough for one princess!"

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  41. Marvelous. I had to laugh at a dog show on our village green when an ex friend's badly behaved Border terrier was asked to leave the arena and Dillon who was an excitable happy puppy at the time behaved wonderfully.
    Dillon didn't win " dog with the waggiest tail " which he had because that's why we chose him from the litter. He was robbed xx

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  42. Your fine breeding has clearly rubbed off on Mary. Now try not to let anything from Mary rub off on YOU otherwise it'll be straight under the shower or to the cleaners.

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  43. Crying with laughter. it's always a lottery when visiting the vets. Our lovely lad has so far always been well behaved but as a staffie lurcher rescue you can never take it for granted. Well done Mary for making you so proud.

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  44. Good for Mary! Joan Collins she is not.

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  45. Good for you, and good girl Mary :-)

    You told that so well.

    Our vets in Llanrwst is only small and tends not to have too many in the waiting room at once thanks to some animals being seen during the one hour appointments slot each day. The only dog of ours that makes a show is Rosy, she barks incessantly all the time she is waiting, so much so that the other week when it came to be our turn the vet gingerly opened the door expecting to see a big, nasty dog and Rosy trotted in all dignified and well behaved .... and quiet for the first time since we had arrived.

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  46. It's all in the parenting, I think!

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  47. May all you kids be well behaved

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  48. Oh my...that made me laugh out loud...

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  49. Smashing story, that made me laugh. Things don't get quite so heated where I go.

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  50. A lovely, lovely story.

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  51. A lovely, lovely story.

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