Tuesday, 15 March 2016

Unsung Hero

The street lights in our lane are not working...I kind of like the pitch black nature of it all.
Tonight I got home around 10.15 pm and as I shuffled my way down our path a very shadowy figure walked almost silently past the cottage.
It was Islwyn , the village elder and even in the darkness, I could make he was exhausted.
We chatted for a while.
In his mid sixties, Islwyn is presently looking after a very aged, sick and frail mother, and is doing so with all of the dedication of Mother Theresa .
Mother Theresa with a Welsh accent and beanie hat!
He's on call 24/7 and works without much sleep and for very little praise.
This has been going on for months
I asked him if he was ok and if he was coping, and typically he didn't complain about his lot.
" I was a thug when I was young," he said without any edge to his voice " She[ his mother] had alot to deal with years ago....." He left the rest of his sentence unfinished before bidding me goodnight

.....he is paying back a mother's love I thought......




51 comments:

  1. That is beautiful. But I hope he has some help. This sort of thing can kill a person.

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  2. Such a devoted son. Caring for someone is often very stressful for the carer. I hope he has some support,

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  3. Can't write, I have to get a tissue to dab my eyes.

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  4. I do hope he gets some help. Caring is exhausting. I love that he is paying his debts (or his perceived debt) but do hope he doesn't have to do it alone.

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  5. so much for my day without tears . This was beautiful.

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  6. What goes around comes around and Islwyn recognises this. Good on him.

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  7. Hope you can perhaps help him out.

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  8. I look forward to giving my mother the same love and attention she showed me....none. Love my dad to bits though, one loving parent is better than none.

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  9. This reminds me of my brother-in-law who takes care of his 94 year old mother. He lives alone with her in his house.
    Lately she never wants to go out for dinner so he brings home take out meals or defrosts frozen dinners.
    He feels guilty to go out with friends. She asks him if he's going to leave her all alone.
    My wife helps out by visiting to wash her in the shower and fix her hair.
    He has a rough personality but helps people when they need it. When I was in the hospital for an entire month last year he watched over our house and my wife gave him our checkbook to pay bills.
    He has us as his family but I wish he would find a close friend to be with.

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    1. I guess you dont know someone's metal, until disastr strikes eh?

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  10. Thank you, Islwyn. You are a good son.

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  11. I hope his mother is still sound of mind, so that she knows her son is a good man and can take joy from that. And like others here, I hope he has some respite from his job as carer.

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  12. He sounds like a good man. Maybe yourself and some other neighbors and friends can give him a hand? Or a professional carer?

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  13. (most) mothers love their kids and if she was so loyal back then, she would want him to care for himself now.

    My love to them. It's a hard road

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  14. That choked me up... Islwyn is doing 'the extra mile'. I hope there's someone there when he needs help.

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  15. awwww I started to tear up over this. No matter what he did before he is a good nam. Can he apply for some sort of in house health care/help for his Mum ?

    cheers, parsnip

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  16. At least he has understood that 'payback time' really exists. So many don't, and abandon their parents to The State.

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  17. Good to see, but he is of an older generation ... I know it must be hard on him. All part of being a responsible adult, so many aren't these days.

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  18. She stood by him during his rough years, good on him for doing the same




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  19. Thank you Islwyn, your decency is showing.

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  20. Islwyn clearly turned out decent.

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  21. Receiving love and devotion and then returning it in kind is wonderful. But the poor guy still shouldn't have to do it alone. My heart goes out to him.

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  22. Here's to all of the Islwyn's of the world but, as Mitchel says, he shouldn't have to do it alone. Does he not get any support John ? XXXX

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  23. You are such a caring and perceptive man John. If ever I need intensive nursing, I hope I get a nurse like you.

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  24. Glad he was out walking. I'm on year 3 with caring for 93 yr. old mom and the hardest part for me is feeling like I'm in prison. Getting out of the house is medicine!

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  25. I must admit I choked up when I read this . I do hope Islwyn can get some support and he will accept it. I looked after my Mum before she died and she never said she loved me much over the last two years but before she died she would say "you do know I love you don't you " and that meant a lot to me and still does. I too hope that I come across people like you John in my later years someone who is very caring but with a wicked sense of humour to brighten up our days.

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    1. He is one of life's hard workers sue

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  26. Lovely. What comes around...

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    1. P.S. Did my card ever arrive?

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    2. Omg yes! Thank you I am so sorry i didnt thank you earlier!

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  27. Fascinating! And thank you for your comment on Ocala & Central Florida. You have a most interesting blog!

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    1. Great photos! Btw

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    2. Jacob, I am moving to Florida :) in about a month . yikes.

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  28. It's rather touching that he feels he owes her something after his bolshy childhood behaviour! I wasn't exactly a thug when I was young but I was certainly pretty truculent and argumentative. Fortunately my mother is still fairly fit and in no need of looking after....

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    1. When I was a teenager i sulked solidly between the ages of 14 and 18

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    2. Reminds me of a Sign I saw in a gift shop: "Teenagers! Leave home while you still know everything!".

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  29. The circle of life.....

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  30. How that speaks to me John. I am getting old and had to come to the realization yesterday that I am no longer number one in my children's lives; that I will have to lower my expectations. My heart hurts, but I guess it is what happens to parents eventually.

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  31. I can think of many compliments for Islwyn but they all seem so miniscule compared to the magnitude of his devotion. He is his Mother's hero...undoubtably.

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  32. I can think of many compliments for Islwyn but they all seem so miniscule compared to the magnitude of his devotion. He is his Mother's hero...undoubtably.

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  33. I think what he said and is doing is very poignant.

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  34. You gave me something to think about . When my husband died, right after we moved back here to the US and I knew no one .. my son would take the 3 hour drive up here every weekend with the wife and infant and stay the night then drive back home to NYC . He would help me with the bill paying/check writing / online stuff and make calls for me when it was just too much to tell one more person that my husband was dead and they should address their mail to me now.
    It was a hideous time but how much more awful it would have been without that son of ours.. my husband would have been so proud.
    I am glad this lady is alive to appreciate what a lovely son she raised.

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  35. A diamond in the gruff. Bless him.

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  36. A Welsh accent and a Beanie hat - sounds a lot like me. God bless Islwyn.

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  37. That made me quite teary John, good on him and good on you for taking the time to notice x

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  38. I hope that Islwyn reads your blog and he can find comfort knowing that we, your readers respect and admire him, we all need a helping hand at times from our family or good friends.
    Oh Notes from abroad I love your response, what a lovely son you have and you have every reason to be proud for raising him.

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  39. When so many people think that the state has to do everything fro their loved ones, this is a timely reminder that we also have a responsibility to care for those who once cared for us. Good on Islwyn.

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