Friday, 11 March 2016

Total Bollocks


If you want to waste £6.50....rather than making the journey to the cinema to see London Has Fallen, I suggest to collect your spare change and flush it down the bog.
The film's crap, and not even entertaining crap at that!
Picture this....the world's leaders congregate in London for the funeral of the Prime Minister, as it turns out, the whole thing is a set up by those awful Muslim Extremists for the Capital to be bombed, the world leaders to be killed and the main prize ( The American President) to be captured and executed on youtube.
Only the terrorists were not banking on super service man Mike Banning (An oddly wooden Gerald Butler) who singlehandedly kicks the bad guys ass all over a suddenly empty capital city.
It's a boring, rather too brutal and not even mildly entertaining die hard without the humour but one brief moment did make me howl with laughter.
As the American President arrives, the World leaders get picked off one by one. The German Chancellor is shot in the back by terrorists in Busbees; the Japanese Prime Minister is drowned in his car crossing Chelsea Bridge , the French Premier is blown up on the Thames and the Italian Prime Minister ( wait for this one) is blown to bits having a  fumble with his girlfriend atop Westminster Abbey!

49 comments:

  1. I went to "Olympus Has Fallen," the first piece of crap in this franchise. It taught me not to go to any subsequent installments. You've confirmed it, thanks!

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    Replies
    1. I walked out halfway through...even the usually hot Butler couldnt keep me in the cinema

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  2. As if there aren't enough of these bombing/type incidents in real life, they need to make a schlock movie about it ... I hope no one goes to see it. I won't. Not even on cable.
    I would rather see Lady and the Tramp and cry again when the milk wagon falls on old trusty .. sniffle sniffle .. .
    LOL
    Yes, going back in childhood here....

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  3. That's my kind of film review. You're improving.

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  4. That Gerald Butler better find himself some sexy role or I am going to forget all about him.

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    Replies
    1. I think hes had work done

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    2. lol, really ? I have to go google his photo now .. see a before and after.

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    3. He may have had a touch of Botox , his deeper wrinkles like on his forehead are not so deep .. his skin looks smoother .. not overdone though .. he looks good.

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  5. It does sound dreadful, including the world leaders being picked off, one by one.

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  6. Wish they'd give the rather lovely Butler something decent to star in. Personally, I think he'd make a cracking James Bond!Why-oh-why did they even make this film. Hardly crowd-pulling subject matter.

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  7. You mean that Berlusconi was on the roof of Westminster Abbey with his fancy woman? How the hell did they get up there? Not the kind of thing that normally happens at state funerals.

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  8. Thank you John! Not my sort of movie but the Skinny Crank loves them; thankfully, your movie review has made him decide not to waste his ~ or my ~ time on it. I owe you!

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  9. god i love gerald butler. he's the kind of guy i could have really gotten into trouble with when i was younger.

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    Replies
    1. If I didn't get to him first .

      lol

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  10. Another movie intended to incite hatred.

    Love,
    Janie

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  11. But does it, as almost all these sorts of film even vaguely related to the UK seem to do, feature an elderly bit player playing, from a distance, the Queen (generally accompanied by the Corgis)?

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  12. And where's Maggie Smith?

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  13. I just don't get it. Your day ( and/or night ) job is a nurse in A&E. You have various livestock to tender, and a load of shitty dogs to walk and clear up after. A husband to cater for day and night ( say no more) and loads of singular neighbours to acknowledge and sell eggs to. Yet you still have the time to write a blog everyday. Occasionally twice a day. I need a lie down with a g'n t just to read all this (entertaining)crap.

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  14. The good thing about going to see a movie like that is that you have a big choice of seats.

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  15. Sounds awful. Glad you left.

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  16. So ... I love the word bollucks. .. how severely rude is it ? would it be like me saying this is bullsh*t ? or is it as bad as f*ck ?
    and is it pronounced bull ox or ball ox ... thenk yew.

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    1. Not as rude a f, closer to bullshit, in my opinion.

      Pronunciation probably closer to ball ox if you are pronouncing ball with an American accent - how do boll and ball sound when you say them?

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    2. boil=b oy l
      ball - b all

      of course I was raised in the South (US) and live in NY and had a British grandmother so god knows what I sound like :)

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    3. I would say bollocks the same way as I would say dollox - except with a B.

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  17. Oh dear, I hope they didn't spend too much making it.

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  18. You can never know, sometimes the reality is a big suprise, who knows if this crazy film would not become real one day...

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  19. Was it Gerald who had the botox or was it Gerard?

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    Replies
    1. Gerard ... smoother forehead.

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  20. so who is now going to pay to watch this now that you have given the plot away?

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  21. Won;t bother with that then. The advertising on the radio has been constant!

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  22. So. Despite sounding a bundle of laughs it's not even so bad that it's funny? On the opinions of a medley of reviewers, now consolidated with your own, I'll vote it a 'miss' and therefore WILL miss.

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  23. No plot spoilers there then . . . I shall save my pennies methinks!

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  24. Not a sponsored post then ;o)

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  25. Have you seen The Lady In The Van? I'm hoping I can find it somewhere close. I adore Maggie Smith.

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  26. Hmmmm.... Hubby and i enjoyed the movie... Though i do agree Butler's acting was a little odd... He is normally so easy and believable in front of the camera ... think PS I love you... Maybe he did have a little work done... He just did not look or act ....'himself'... Now Morgan Freeman on the other hand looked Amazing! I swear that man never ages...I'am a big fan of his. I like him in presidential roles. Hugs! deb

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  27. Completely off topic, I have to tell you about a guy I saw today outside M&S with a bulldog puppy. A number of people were gathered round all saying 'Isn't he gorgeous'

    The guy then said 'She's a girl, but she's very big for her age' The look that she gave him was as if to say 'you will pay for that comment'.

    I have to say, if there had been less people around I would have kidnapped her.

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    1. They are really up there on the list of cutest puppies. All those folds and softness ... so sweet ..

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  28. Just what the world needs is an idiotic film about the end of the world as we know it due to Muslim extremists. Thanks for the warning. Sorry you wasted your money.

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  29. Saw this film last week and it was as dire as you describe. Totally made for the US market with their President being the only man worth saving, even at the cost of the poor buggers living in those high rise flats. As for cheesy dialogue, it outdid itself. What was I thinking!!

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    1. Well, even for the treat of seeing Mr Butler, this US Market member is not going to see it.

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  30. I kind of want to see it just for the digital destruction of London. Isn't Gerard Butler ALWAYS kind of wooden?!

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  31. I'm the odd one out ... we loved it.

    Action from five minutes in, good CGI and totally, laughable survival from every kind of incident. Just the total escapism you need after a long shitty week.

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