Friday, 4 March 2016

Sulk

This afternoon......I am forgiven  

Last night frustration coupled with one of the worst rainstorms I have ever experienced resulted in a diva - sized strop of gigantic proportions.
The sulking lasted many, many hours.
It all started when I needed to leave the house around 9pm. The Prof had gone to bed and the dogs all needed a final wee before bedtime, so I leaded them all up and took them out in the rain.
Now old dogs hate icy wet conditions and after several minutes it was very clear that not one was going to have even a 'crafty one' along the lane and so drenched to the skin and frustrated that I wouldn't be back home until the small hours of the morning to walk them again, I lost my temper and gave the whole pack a good yelling at.
Now for those that don't know, you can shout at a terrier and although they will initially be upset  they will generally forget the slight minutes after it has been given. Bulldogs however , do not cope at all with any form of chastisement.
Like elephants, they never forget.
I bundled the pack into the kitchen, hoping against all hope that there would be no puddles on the floor by the time I got home and four hours later I returned to a chorus of happy barks and smiling faces.
Only Winnie wasn't amongst them.
When slighted Bulldogs will sulk for the longest of times  and Winnie, I must say, can sulk for Britain.
I found her in the living room, standing with her face to the wall. She refused to acknowledge my presence in any way.
I apologised for shouting at her and gave her a pat on the head , and all she did was to turn her face slowly in the opposite direction.
I knelt on the floor and tried to kiss her, and she blinked her eyes ever so slowly and snorted like a pony. She turned again presenting me a fat blank arse.
At one o'clock in the morning I didn't need the drama.
I took the other dogs out , cleaned up the kitchen floor and returned to the living room with a cup of coffee and a piece of toast
Winnie hadn't moved .
So, I put on some shit tv and started to eat my toast.
Winnie remained still but I could see her nostrils twitching so I ate everything but the crust and placed the remains onto the floor.
Still she didn't move.
She was good, real good I thought.
I slipped the plate with the crusts on it under her nose and went back to my tv watching. It did the trick, for seconds later the plate was empty.
" Are you going to forgive me now ?" I asked her as I knelt again onto the floor and for the first time I was fixed in the big brown eyed glaze of an elderly bulldog.
She obviously  thought about what I said for a moment or so,
And snorted her loud bull like snort, before turning and walking off to her nightime armchair.
She didn't look back , even the once.

46 comments:

  1. Poor old Winnie - she took the telling off to heart. If I was a dog (don't!) I would be just like Winnie and sulk until I had felt I had punished you enough! I hope that you have a drama free weekend John!

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  2. Wow - I've only seen this type of behavior in cats and lovers. I never knew it was prevalent in bulldogs.

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    Replies
    1. They are terrible divas jon.....

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  3. I expected the diva-sized strop to be you, not Winnie!

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  4. Wow! She sounds just like the Nu (cat), deeply impressive.

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  5. Buy her a scotch egg

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    1. Shes fine with me this morning........ I found a prawn cracker down the side of the cooker and she enjoyed that. We are friends again

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  6. Awww!, I like old dogs.

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  7. Oh my, Winnie and Buddha could be related! Mayhap it's the whole short-snouted thing. ;-)
    Oh, and the kidling was thrilled by the comparison to her Walking Dead crush, just as I thought.

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  8. Hell hath no fury ...

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  9. I wondered why you were reading my blog at 1.43 am.

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    Replies
    1. I was working at Samaritans until 1 am

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  10. She's too intelligent for her own good.

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  11. I wonder what the neighbours were thinking when they heard a madman in the lane yelling "HAVE A BLOODY PISS! I'M WARNING THE LOT OF YOU! PISS NOW!" Probably - "Oh that's The Flower Show Secretary out for a walk in the rain again Myfanwy!"

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    Replies
    1. Strange as it may seem, the truth was remarkably similar

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  12. Winnie is such a character .

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  13. That's amazing! I need a bulldog!

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  14. You just can't yell at some and get away scot free.

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  15. Maybe she was relishing having made you feel as guilty as hell.

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  16. You threatened her dignity and she gave you proper notice that this is not to be done.
    Or something like that.
    You have made me love that old bulldog from this far away.

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    Replies
    1. She's now made up with me, over lots of kisses

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  17. John I can honestly say that this brought genuine tears to my eyes.

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  18. And some people think dogs are just animals!

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  19. I have to say, after looking at that face on her for the umpteenth time, that I love that face. I can't think of how anyone could even be mad at her if she did something bad ... how anyone would not just laugh and kiss her when she walks in the room.
    You are going to get me in trouble. I am now thinking of bulldog puppies. troublemaker.

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  20. This was a great story, terriers are really just like that.
    Winnie is indeed a diva.
    Started my morning with such a happy note

    You are indeed a wonderful storyteller.
    cheers, parsnip

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  21. As good as an hormonal fourteen year old who is also a girl.

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  22. There must be something in the air. Yesterday I scolded our cats for ... everything, really ... making a mess with the water dishes, regurgitating dinner into the cracks of the hardwood floor, meowing for attention, rubbing against me with their shedding coats ... but they've forgiven me now, too.

    Winnie has FEEEEELINGS. And don't you forget it!

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    Replies
    1. I have been suitable chastised

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  23. I love Winnie! She can twist you around her paw. Greetings Maria x

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  24. Poor Winnie - she does look upset.
    Oh John, couldn't you have thought of something more suitable than a toast crust and old prawn cracker as a peace maker?

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    Replies
    1. I have also kissed her on the lips numerous times......what else would a woman want?

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  25. Sorry, but I'm with Winnie. I hate it when someone wants me to pee on command!

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  26. LOL, Toni, the minute that happens you dry up, right ? LOL

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  27. That picture of Winnie...
    and the one of her with Albert....
    have something very "Hattie Jacques" about them!!

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    Replies
    1. With albert looking like charles hawtry

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    2. I see what you mean... but needs the glasses!

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  28. At least the Queen has forgiven you. She is a tough broad that Winnie. :)

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  29. Ooooh! You are walking a fine line with that girl! She'll sack you one of these days

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    Replies
    1. We made up. This afternoon she went to my friend norma's for the weekend.........norma will indulge her

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  30. Poor baby....you will have to make it up to her for the next several days...

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    1. See above she's gone to afriend for the weekend...the friend is a bulldog freak

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  31. I can relate. As much as you love them, you can get so frustrated at them. I have two corgis so I know how it can be!

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  32. I think I love Winnie. :) Having never considered owning a Bulldog in my life, I am beginning to now!

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  33. I shouldn't laugh (since you obviously devastated Winnie with your awful behavior) but her drama is truly comical.

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