Wednesday, 17 February 2016

Whore!


I'm such a whore.....
last night I posted an article on dog fencing, which was in fact a blatant advertisement of a potentially very useful product.
I was approached by the company who produces the fencing and asked if I could blog about it, and for my trouble , I would be rewarded by a small fee!
It all seems cosha but I couldn't help feeling all a bit uncomfortable about it all,
I know Going Gently is a collection of stories and thoughts and ideas ( mostly about something or nothing) but essentially all of those stories and thoughts and ideas are all mine and no one else's .
Publicising electric fencing, no matter how good it is , is not quite my raison d'etre.
All of a sudden I feel like Julia Roberts to Richard Gere's sidekick from Pretty Woman....having said this, I still published the advert with my empty hand outstretched, like I said , I'm a whore.

And so I now feel a need to steer Going Gently back to safe waters.....and those waters made me laugh right out loud this morning during a rather wet and cold rainstorm over a very miserable and soggy Trelawnyd.
It was around midday when I finished walking the generally bouncy and very damp terriers and so with a slightly heavy heart I entered the living room in search of Winnie.
Winnie hates morning walks . She particularly detests morning walks in rain, and will endeavour to blend chameleon like into the scatter cushions on the couch or arm chair in an effort not to be dragged outside, even though her bladder may be the size of the average watermelon.
That is the very reason, I now, no longer walk her with the others, they just cant stomach the palaver.
I called her and she kept her eyes very firmly shut. I knew she was awake and was just trying to ignore me , so I slapped her hard on the bottom and ordered her to get up
She opened one eye, with a look of " youuuuuu baasssstard " 
This is the game we play every single day.
More bottom slaps, calls and orders later Winnie finally will stand sulking at the back door. If it is dry and warm, she will put up with the following walk with bored alacrity but , if, like today, the weather is cold and particularly wet, she will always stand in the doorway with a look Bette Davis always  gave Joan Crawford in Whatever Happened to Baby Jane. 
It says " You've got to be fucking kidding!" 
Now even bulldogs need to go to the toilet , and understanding that the quicker she " goes" the quicker she can return to the warmth of the Prof's armchair makes Winnie , the Einstein of the cottage animals, for this lunchtime , she side swiped me with the lead in my hand, bounced up into the  garden and with superhuman effort promptly opened her bladder then bowels in the centre of the  gravel path.
She then whirled around with a triumphant look which simply said " Traaaadaaaaaaaaah" 
Then she trotted back through the rain , back through the kitchen and was up in her armchair with her eyes tightly shut before I had even got my coat off.


49 comments:

  1. A very efficient lady who knows what she wants...gotta love her.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Rolling here! Yup, it's official, I adore Miss Winnie. <3

    ReplyDelete
  3. When I left the clinical field I spent time as a 'consultant' for Pharma's; a colleague snidely remarked "The smell will never go away." I told him what my fee was. "Um, any openings?" he asked.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Money talks mike money talks

      Delete
  4. Your awesome posts should always gather compensation!$ Therefore please expect some baby bulldogs and maybe a little poop in the mail!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Winnie makes me smile. She is such a character.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Oh God I love that dog !!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. What else do you expect from a Leading Lady, you are her Jeeves obviously. You should perhaps be thankful that it was not on your feet. Not Nice, I Know.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Smart one! That's how I'd roll if I were in her situation.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Yeah, you're right. You don't even use the product.

    Some dogs have more 'holding' power when they want it. I'm on Winnie's side. ("Wake me up, will ya?")

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. WE had a Lab who went for 30 hours (it's true, we timed him) without going out. It was blowing a gale and torrential rain. When we opened the door for him to go out, he looked at us in much the same way Winnie looked at you, John !

      Delete
    2. Thats control !

      Delete
  10. I, for one, wouldn't mind reading about products now and then if it puts some money in your pocket and keeps you writing. And if you're going to have a story like today's as a chaser, well ... that seals it.

    Oh, Winnie. Oh Winnie Winnie Winnie. You are a smart girl.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Everyone has a price!

    ReplyDelete
  12. i love winnie. she might be as stubborn as teddy.

    ReplyDelete
  13. That told him Winnie !

    ReplyDelete
  14. I get asked now and then to allow guest posts or to review a product that 'they' feel will 'fit right in' with my blog. I always decline.

    ReplyDelete
  15. The fox thinks you're a whore too...

    ReplyDelete
  16. They're not daft - bulldogs.

    ReplyDelete
  17. She certainly is no terrier.

    ReplyDelete
  18. YOUR blog, YOUR business! :-) I see nothing wrong with you making some cash off of your blog. Why SHOULDN'T you benefit from your work?! We all obviously LOVE reading what you write! If it was in book form, people would EXPECT to pay, right? You wouldn't write a book for free. I know a lot of bloggers that don't feel comfortable advertising, and that's completely fine too! :-) But I don't think you're a whore at all. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  19. Whoring? Nonsense, every writer needs to pay the bills and I'm glad you got paid for your work.
    And as for Winnie? LOL...You've got her pegged for smarts and a unique ability for self- expression - done and back to her rightful place before you were finished scooping up the lumps... :-D

    ReplyDelete
  20. Listen sweetheart, my legs are on the cover of packages, my hair is on the advert for a shampoo .. my hands are on jewelry store ads ... call me a whore or smart to use my brain and make some money with what I have .. I also get paid to write but that is my secret LOL

    ReplyDelete
  21. I hope the dog fencing fee is enough to buy you a nice supply of scotch eggs!

    ReplyDelete
  22. I wondered what was up. I thought your blog got hacked.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It still doesnt feel right.. But now i can pay the field rent

      Delete
  23. We were just talking this morning about ads on FB and blogger and saying how profitable it would be for you, John. But don't sell your soul!! lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Perhaps one a month then? Lol

      Delete
    2. Sounds good to me!! You WHORE!! I just liked saying that out loud. Don't get the chance that often....believe it or not.

      Delete
  24. Wear the big W with pride my friend. Nothing wrong with getting paid for an opinion.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Go Winnie!!!...a girl after my own heart!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You shit on your garden path?

      Delete
    2. Why yes, as long as one remains within the electric fence one shan't be shocked.

      Delete
  26. When I read the title and saw the picture I thought one of your dogs made nicey nicey with the neighbor's mongrel and that the pitter patter of little paws would soon echo through the cottage. I would never associate the word with you or the prof.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm a diva on the quiet...what can i say?

      Delete
  27. Clearly it's a non-stop battle of wits between you and Winnie.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Don't miss the opportunity ! Listen to Winnie and remember her wittier remarks.. you can use them and pretend you thought them up.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Smart one that Winnie . . .
    (and you are a delight to read . . . whore!)

    ReplyDelete
  30. Oh and by the by: I wouldn't call you a whore, John. Brazen hussy is more like it. xx

    ReplyDelete
  31. Winnie is a dog genius.

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
  32. Sell away, as long as you don't charge us for seeing it and using it.
    One very smart bulldog,

    ReplyDelete
  33. Winnie is a star and wouldn't whore herself out for anyone (that second part may or may not be a good thing). I hope you get paid well for your whoring.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Wait a minute...getting paid means you're a PROFESSIONAL - not a whore; which is an altogether different spin on things!

    ReplyDelete

I love comments and will now try very hard to reply to all of them
Please dont be abusive x