Saturday, 2 January 2016

Lunch Out


We went to another Prof's house for lunch yesterday.
Classy nibbles, champagne in crystal glasses
You know the score.
We took Winnie along with us.

At the height of academic chit chat.
She left a buffalo sized turd in the centre of the living room!


95 comments:

  1. "Classy nibbles, champagne in crystal glasses"
    That is how professors are meant to live. Time for a New Year revamp of the cottage on the corner. Out with the old - in with the new... and no more buffalo-sized turds!

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  2. Hahaha! Oh, Winnie!

    What did you do, John? I'd have been truly mortified.

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    Replies
    1. I ran forward with a plastic bag and kitchen roll

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    2. Glad to see you were adequately prepared! My cat threw up 3 huge piles of sick whilst my guests were round for our New Year's Eve drinks and nibbles. He then sniffed my friends leg then bit it. He brings me so much shame!

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    3. Simone, this made me Laugh out loud ..
      "He brings me so much shame " lol .....
      So far, I am the only one who gets bitten, "love bites" my ass ! I have tiny little holes in me !

      On second thought .. could the "friend" have slipped him something that made him sick ? so he bit her for it .. lol

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  3. I trust you laughed it off as just one of the 'hazards' of doggy life - and left it there for someone else to dispose of.

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  4. The Prof must have been mortified. Kids!!!

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  5. That's a LOT of sh**!

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  6. Dogs are the best people...

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  7. I'm mortified just reading it!

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  8. Oh Winnie where are your manners ?

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  9. Next time leave the dog at home.

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    Replies
    1. To be fair to the old gal, it WAS a first

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    2. If she intended it as a comment she may have a better drasp of much of academia than much of academia has. They do talk an awful lot of "Winnies" sometimes, especially with a drink in them. Just call it Winnie's peer review.

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    3. eh... "grasp", was intended, of course (hic).

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    6. For goodness sake blogspot! Stop it stop it stop it (repeating).

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    7. During finals week a dog left a pile in the hallway of an academic building. Someone slipped a piece of paper under it with a C-.

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  10. You can't take some dogs anywhere.

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  11. It is polite to provide a gift when you are guests. She did her best to help with that.

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  12. A critic.................say no more!

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  13. oh dear bob! hope it was not a priceless oriental rug upon which winnie shat.

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    Replies
    1. Thank god, polished floorboards

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    2. For Winnie at least!:)

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  14. Gotta admire her chutzpah....there are a few occasions when I'd have liked to have done that....

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    Replies
    1. I would have paid to have seen that

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    2. J.G. - I believe there are certain websites that may cater for this particular 'interest'. Or so I've heard.

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  15. Oh gawd ..... trust Winnie. It will forever now be remembered as the party 'that the big Bulldog crapped on the carpet'.

    Well at the very it least it will have got folk talking to each other ;-)

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  16. God bless her, how many times have any of us wished we could do the same .. bored out of our minds ... thinking of the things we just cannot do .. but Winnie can. Give her an extra treat tonight.

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    Replies
    1. We did have a lovely time it must be said x

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  17. I hope it was a dry buffalo sized turd, plastic sandwich bag and into your cargo pants pocket.
    You were so advised.

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  18. Having been to many gatherings of academics, I wish I could have been more like Winnie!

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  19. A posh group like that would make me want to do the same! Then you stuffed it into your pocket right? :)

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  20. She was just giving actual proof that PHD stands for "Pile it Higher and Deeper"!

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  21. I'd be speechless, but it is just part of doggy life.

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  22. Perhaps she assumed that, as a guest, she was supposed to bring something? A hostess gift?

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  23. Oh Winnie....I'm sure you were the life of the party!

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  24. Maybe she was just expressing her opinion?

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  25. Just when you think you can trust 'em.

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  26. I'm sure she had her reasons.

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  27. Afraid that I deliberately serve champagne in tumblers to our posh friends.
    It doesn't take much to make me happy.
    Three cheers for Winnie!

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  28. We are going to one of my docs 60th birthday party tonight at another's posh house. I wonder if I should bring our giant puppy? She might just leave one as well! Oooh I would laugh all the way home.... :)

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  29. That reminds me of taking my landlady's Alsation out for a walk. On the way back we stopped at a pub'.....

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  30. Academic critique takes many forms.....

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  31. That's our Winnie. Enough of the society bit...let's have a touch of reality.

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  32. I'm surprised the Professor agreed that she could come in the first place.

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  33. it's a visit that will not be soon forgotten.

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  34. Our normally polite dog did that at our neighbor's party. Thankfully they have a dog and understood. They also have cement floors.

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  35. Hahaha! Having worked at a university for 37 years as a staff member, I would have paid money to be a fly on the wall at that particular faculty bash. I can only imagine the reactions.

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  36. Good for Winnie ! She probably wanted to let you know that she didn't want to be invited to such a pretentious event again. Could be that the classy nibbles were not to her liking.

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  37. She was obviously shit-scared someone might ask her opinion on existential hermeneutics.

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    Replies
    1. No, Winnie's bound to know all about those !

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  38. George would have been a better choice I think.

    cheers, parsnip and thehamish

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  39. Oops.
    Better out than in.

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  40. Oh, Winnie! That's not the thing to do if you want to be invited again...maybe all the highbrow stuff got to her and she decided it was necessary to make a pongy/poignant statement.

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    Replies
    1. Which might be why she did it :) She wants no more invitations.

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  41. I find that distraction is needed to divert academic friends away from conversation about their work. They can be earnest!!! x

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  42. I find that distraction is needed to divert academic friends away from conversation about their work. They can be earnest!!! x

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  43. If only you had one of those plastic mustaches that are common in the Christmas crackers, you could have plopped it on top of that turd and made a Groucho Marx look-alike :)
    ~Jo

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  44. I would have just picked it up and gotten rid of it, left, and changed my name and address and never been seen in the area again.
    My husband would have laughed and had another drink.I guess you know how much Winnie enjoyed being out and bored to death by those humans ... right ?

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  45. Just got home after work...sorry not to reply on every comment.....
    For those thst think i make up these stories...i dont!
    We took winnie as she is the best behaved........

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    Replies
    1. And the prof was my prof's best friend

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  46. I love that dog !

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  47. Your blog is very impressive ...
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    HD Wallpapers

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  48. Dear John, first I want to wish you and the prof a happy new year. I wanted to comment here today but I had nothing more to say to what everyone has already said. Greetings Maria x

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    Replies
    1. Lovely to hear from you, thank you for popping over from Rachel's musings xxx

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  49. Fan Mail for Winnie, ( John please read this to her )
    Dear Winnie,
    I was most impressed when John told us about your visit to the House of the Academics.
    I totally understand how you must have felt .. prior to the episode being discussed.
    There have been times that the feeling has come over us all... you have to go .. there is nowhere to go .. you do the best you can.
    Some of us have a harder time holding it than others.
    Some of us can hold it but like the idea of Making a Statement.
    I believe you made a perfect Statement .. easily understood by all .. except maybe that academic .. ( which sounds like a disease, doesn't it ? oh god, there is an academic in town ... stay inside ! don't want to catch it ! )
    So Sweet Winnie, you just stay the way you are and don't let anyone tell you that when you have to Go, you should hold it. You just Go when you have to Go.
    much love,
    C .. way over here in the USA.

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    Replies
    1. She smiled and farted loudly at this comment x

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  50. Good old Winnie x

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  51. Amazing blog thanks waiting for more.

    Ronaldinho HD Wallpaper

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  52. Thank you John, just what I had hoped for. Give her a slobbery kiss for me. ( I , of course, never slobber. ever.)

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  53. At the risk of being not an animal lover, aren't most dogs house-trained as it's called in the us? Y'know, trained to crap outside??

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    Replies
    1. She suddenly became very nervous

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  54. Replies
    1. LOL !!!! Thank you, this started my too early morning off right !

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  55. Ha! Winnie you get to live another day! John, you only told half of the story - when I read in the comments it was a polished floor I calmed right down - I was imagining a beautiful pale cream carpet!

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  56. Poor Winnie! But I'm chuckling even so ...

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  57. Clarification, please. Is a "buffalo sized turd" the size of a buffalo or the size of a buffalo's turd? Enquiring minds and all that...

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  58. What a pity Winnie doesn't have her own blog - I'm sure she would have explained her reasonings behind such a bold "statement"...

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  59. Just wondering why you would take a dog along with you to a posh lunch! Are they bulldog fans maybe?

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    Replies
    1. I imagine because she is really a posh dog .. or perhaps posh is in the mind of the beholder ... it was lunch in someones house.

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  60. Frances, they are dog lovers and originallly asked if we would take mary...i said now as she is just too puppyish

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  61. I love Winnie.

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  62. And how did you feel about that John?

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    Replies
    1. A mixture of horror, pride and mirth

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  63. I just love that Winnie - best behaved! LOL. I would have also grabbed a bag and the kitchen roll and mopped it up. I HAVE to clean up all the shirty things which our pets leave. Happy 2016 to you, Chris and all your wonderful pets. xx

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  64. Thanks for sharing
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  65. This is awesome! Thanks
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