Monday, 11 January 2016

" Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells"

Oh My God!
That's it! I've gone and done it!
I've finally turned into one of those opinionated old farts that are hated by middle England and everyone else for that matter. You know the sort.
The scruffy old sod who won't ever shut his mouth.

It all started outside the house with the two staffies. I was talking to the good natured owner of Podrick as William and Mary greeted him playfully when the two staffies charged the fence barking loudly, with their owner in tow. Although both terriers were wagging their tails, loose staffies can be unpredictable, especially if they escape their garden and as Podrick, and the Welsh terriers watched their owner started to swat ineffectively at them shouting for them to be quiet.
" The little one is always escaping" the man said and as Podrick's owner politely chatted , I plowed in with a pointed " You need to control these dogs better"
The man looked at me in surprise and said " Mate,  they are friendly dogs"
 " don't MATE me"  I thought but said " You're dogs should be secure, I have a bulldog and if they get out and go for her she would flatten them" ( I didn't bother to add that Winnie has no teeth to speak of  and has a gentle nature akin to Julie Andrews )

I'll get my head kicked in soon no doubt.

Minutes later I was knocking on another door with ANOTHER complaint.
This time, I was more measured and diplomatic ...basically because the home owners where not in and I had to leave a calmly written note. I stopped at a rented out bungalow which has a small chicken coop placed on a concrete path in the front garden. The coop is tiny, with a tiny run and is just big enough to cater for perhaps two small hens. I could see at least five or six birds standing sadly shoulder to shoulder in it, so I left a note "suggesting" that their coop was not fit for purpose and  offered  the hen owner a six foot covered run which they could keep.
I signed the note and left our telephone number.
I wonder if the owner takes me up on my offer or comes around to stuff my note up my arse.

Oh why can't I just shut the fuck up?

Oh there I go again.....I'm swearing again. It was only this morning that neighbour Mandy told me that I swear too much on GOING GENTLY !!!


91 comments:

  1. I'll tell you what I think. I think the Ukranian Village will have half a dozen new residents before the day's out....

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  2. Some Things totally deserve swearing .. this entire post made me swear .. Effing barking dogs that are not attended to , the owners should be put down... give the dogs to someone who cares. Someone who deserves to live in a house among other people.
    I thought this sort of thing only went on in big cities where everyone is so f*ing precious and they treat their dogs like children. Obnoxious spoiled rotten children.
    Well, I treat my cats like children but they don't crap on sidewalks or bark all day and night.
    I am in a bad mood today- let me talk to the neighbors for you.

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    1. Lol..are you feelingbetter now?

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  3. I would have done and said the same on both counts ... it must be our age ;-)

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  4. We walk our German Shepherd mix most every day and always on a lead. A few days ago a big dog came charging out and jumped on our dog. Luckily my husband was able to swing out dog out of harm's way by the leash and kick the big dog but it was not giving up. Finally the owner came smiling up saying he is not dangerous. I told her not dangerous - he just attacked our dog. She said no - he would not do that. After a very heated discussion which she never changed - her dog would not do that. She kept trying to get in front of me and look in my eyes telling me she knew I was upset but her dog would never attack another dog - all the while my husband kept trying to keep the dogs apart. I finally told her she had better get her dog under control and I finally told her she was full of shit. Well, she was horrified that I would speak to her like that! She does not know me and she does not know how protective I am of our dog. Needless to say, we have not seen the stupid woman or her attacking dog again!She was like a mother that thinks their child can and will do no wrong.

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  5. I would think your neighbors would run and hide when you are out and about - for fear of some off comment you might make in your blog.

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  6. Wanda you are right on the money. Lol

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  7. Wanda you are right on the money. Lol

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  8. We regret more, what we didn't say, didn't do. You are a bit like Winnie, more bark than bite.

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    1. Aint that just the truth

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    2. But at least you have all your teeth.

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  9. John...go back to bed...roll over and get out on the OTHER side.

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  10. I keep my mouth shut except when it comes to animals and today, fences. The new neighbor's fence fell down and he wants to build a new one and attach to mine. Problem is, there is a french drain there and a permanent fence might damage it and keep future repairs at my house from happening. Don't want to make an enemy with new neighbor. Otherwise I am a wuss. I would keep after that neighbor with chickens. That is cruelty.

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    1. I hope its just a case of not knowing

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    2. Nononononooooo do not let a neighbor attach anything to anything of yours on your property .. all sorts of problems come from that sort of thing ..
      Love, C ... from a family of legal know-it-alls

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  11. Someone has to be the bulldog.

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    1. LOL ... that has me helplessly giggling ..
      I might use that now and then ... apropos of nothing .. I will probably be committed shortly after.

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  12. you did the right thing both times and we all need to stand up for the animals.. 3 days ago here in our neighborhood in Florida, a blind man was walking the sidewalk with his seeing eye dog, a beautiful golden lab. 3 dogs charged out of a garage and attacked the dog. a nieghbor like you rushed out with a stick and attacked the dogs and the lab will live but may never be useful as a guide dog again. people need to contain there dogs with fence or a leash.

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    1. Exactly... These staffies are probably lovely at home...but what happens to a cat if they escape?

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  13. I have a friend just like you John - she never lets anythibg she disapproves of pass. I wish more folk were like that - you know where you stand with them/

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  14. I suffer teribly from 'foot in mouth' syndrome..... if I am thinking it I am usually saying it and not everyone wants to hear it. At least you know where you stand with me.

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  15. You were absolutely right to speak up. Well done. It does take courage and people do not want to hear the truth. "Mate they are friendly dogs" this phrase along with "dog won't bite you" etc. and dogs off the lead/leash are the very worst.

    I think you were kind to leave a note offering a free coop for the chickens. If not taken up can you report to the agency for animal cruelty?

    Please don't shut up.

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  16. No, You are correct in pointing out neglect and abuse of animals. Don't feel bad.If the dogs had gotten hit by a car, who would feel bad then. People can be idiots.

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    1. I think some people just dont think

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    2. True, it is hard to think when you have no brain.

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  17. No regrets when it involves animals.........bitch!

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    Replies
    1. I'm such a diva at times...

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    2. Good for you ! The world needs more divas ...

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  18. Well, better that than touting for more followers John .... haha !!!!! XXXX

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  19. I only read your blog for the cussing. Keep it up.

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    1. LOL ... I had a friend , 100 years ago, when I lived in Hollywood Ca. She had dated Elvis Presley among other well known strange men .. She would rip out a long stream of curse words .. almost making a poem/rhyme out of them .. I was so impressed.
      I thought I was so wild and grownup to say F U M Fer ..

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  20. Keep up the good work.

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  21. The few times in my life I've spoken up to strangers it has been over animal mistreatment and elder mistreatment. (With child abuse we are legally required to report it, so I don't count that.) Keep on speaking up for the vulnerable among us, John!

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    1. Oh jenny, you are so nice ... I talk to strangers all the time lol

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    2. Hmmm ... well, I make a distinction between speaking to strangers and speaking UP to strangers ... I do speak to strangers now and then too :)

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  22. Maybe it's time to change the name of your blog John to something more appropriate such as 'Going Kicking and Screaming'!!! By the way, why don't you often to take the hens off of them - you know you want to? :-)

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    1. The owner of the chickens has just rung and left a message...he seemed interested in the new run.....i shall give him one of my old coops too if he wants one

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    2. Oh that is so great ! Yes the highlight of My day will be their chickens get your old coop ... feel sorry for me yet ?

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    3. That was lovely of you to offer and I hope he is sincere in caring for his birds.

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  23. I fucking swear all the fucking time. One of life's joys. In Italy I'm learning a whole new vocabulary. And you're absolutely right to point out the mistreatment of other creatures - more power to you!

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    1. Ohhh in Italian ! I enjoyed learning to swear in Castellano .. I lived in Argentina .. get lost m**** f**** sounds so pretty in Castellano.

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  24. The only time I regretted speaking up was the one time I didn't
    so please keep speaking out for the animals.

    cheers, parsnip and thehamish

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  25. Dance to other people's tunes too much and we'll see you featuring in a production of 'The Red Shoes'.
    There are a couple of teens who went after Connelly (the cat) this weekend; come around and sort them out for me?

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  26. Replies
    1. How VERY DARE YOU

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    2. Oh male menopause should be a treat ! Your voice will get deeper and you will have more hair on your face.
      Although your mid-section might thicken a little too.

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  27. I think we're related!
    I'm really quite a quiet, gentle and polite person, but seeing cruelty or gross stupidity takes me from zero to bitch in 0.3 seconds!
    There have been many, many times when my husband has quietly crept away and left me to it!
    Hopefully, the chooks will get a new run and coop, it'll be luxury for them!

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    1. My husband would stay by my side and listen .. as if he was an innocent bystander. Then when it was all over, he would ask me where I learned those words :)

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  28. you were right to leave the note. i swear way too much too.

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  29. This reminds me of not so long ago at the puppy park when I told the 20-something owner of an aggressive pit bull (which are banned in our city) that she needs better control of her dog. I wish it would have ended as nicely as yours did. I too am becoming one of those old farts...

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  30. Some people should never, ever have responsibility for another living thing. Dogs, chickens, other humans.
    And I am glad you called it as you saw it.

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  31. I have too many of those 'did I say that aloud' moments myself. I like to think it is one of the privileges of age. I usually find that reading any of the volumes of unpublished letters to the Daily Telegraph is good therapy!

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    1. Just shoot me now if that is what it takes to shut me up.

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  32. I love your blog. This is the stuff that life is about. I'm so weary of personal blogs which are all about poor me, pity me, everything is so sad, drama, drama, drama, blah blah blah. If there were no semi nude pictures of cute guys on them, I'd stop reading them. No really, I would, I swear I would. Maybe.................
    Their blogs make me feel like I've got it made. Your blog makes me want to go for a walk around the neighborhood saying hello to whomever we may encounter. That's the real stuff of life right there.

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    1. I have "unfollowed" several bloggers due to those very issues you state above.

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  33. No, you are not an opinionated old fart, John. You are an opinionated old tart.

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  34. Hell? Hello? Is that Trelawnyd 666?.... Right I am phoning about your offer of a new hen run...Yes that's right... Will you be able to bring it over and erect it for me?... Oh that's so very kind... My name?... Charlie. Charlie Etheridge. You might have seen me in "Road Wars" on the telly. I used to be a police officer... Oh, this afternoon? Thank you Mr Gray. See you later.

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  35. so when you told him to keep the dogs under better control, did you think he was going to listen?

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  36. Do you begin many sentences with ,"When I was your age..." or "Back in my day..."? If not, then I don't think you have reached old fartdome. You may be opinionated, but not an old fart. -Jenn

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  37. I say keep speaking up, it's people like you that much blog fodder is made of. Besides, the younger generation, or anybody really, should hear what you have to say. Pearls of wisdom and all that.
    I'm pleased you offered a larger chicken run and hope those people take up your offer. Perhaps you could include some information on chicken keeping for them.

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  38. Oh for fucks sake I would have done the same thing, guess I am an old fart too. Poor bloody chickens , I am glad you left the note .

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    1. Guess I just wanted to swear...

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  39. Someone SHOULD complain about such things, and you are the responsible one who does so. Hot Young Anthony used to handle our neighborhood problem. Now he and Sweet Young Allison and Darling Caroline have moved. This neighborhood will go to hell in a handbag. I am too scared to complain.

    Love,
    Janie

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  40. FUCKIN' A, JOHN! RIGHT ON, BRO!

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  41. Oh, don't ever shut the fuck up...I don't! Fuck 'em, I say!

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  42. All that is why we love you! Rock on!

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  43. Up front and honest especially when it comes to animals.

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  44. Even if they think you are an old fart, you were right. Sometimes, we just have to have our say, regardless of the consequences.

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  45. The older we get, the more we have the right to say what we want. I do so liberally and often get told to f--- off. Doesn't matter, I feel better...

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  46. Why do you object to the chap calling you 'mate'? It's just his way of speaking.
    I get everything from 'Dona' to 'muchacha' depending on the person...doesn't worry me.

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    1. I have no problem with the colloquialism , i use it myself,
      I just didnt like him

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  47. I love everything you go on about John....your analogy of toothless Winnie being akin to Julie Andrews is just gold xx

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  48. I think you are a sensible chap John and have recently started following because you say what a lot of us think and it's nice to hear it. I think all dogs should be muzzled in public because it's a responsible way to go. My limited experience of dogs is as a dogwalker for a local rescue home where the rejects having nothing wrong with them but have attacked or bitten because their owners haven't known how to train them and expected too much from them and then dumped them when something bad happens - it would be the owner at fault, not the dog who is a mirror of his keeper. I felt sorry for the poor little chickens - also on a concrete surface Mr Fox won't find it too hard to slide underneath and snatch one - hope they take your offer. Betty

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  49. Well John, yesterday I had an appointment with a medical specialist....he REALLY pissed me off, so I politely told him I was done with him, walked out and didn't pay the account.....

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    1. Like! More of us should do that!

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  50. Replies
    1. Yeh, till I get his bill!!! am still not going to pay him though.....

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  51. On the contrary, I think you were very generous to offer assistance to the chicken owner. Hopefully he/she will take you up on it.

    Obviously I don't know the staffies in question, but the flip side of your encounter is that sometimes dog owners see Olga (our staffie) and PANIC merely because she is a staffie. I had one man yell at me in Hyde Park that she was a "dangerous dog," despite the fact that she didn't so much as glance at or approach him or his dog. In your case, the dogs were barking and running at your dogs -- so that's different.

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  52. Sometimes, things do have to be said. I admire you for speaking your mind. And, as if you could really be hated by anyone. You old softie.

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