Thursday, 17 December 2015

Sad

Tonight I asked someone I know vaguely what they are doing for Christmas.
She told me that she usually goes to a cousin for the day but this year she said without an edge that for the first time , for the Christmas holiday,she had booked herself into a budget hotel 25 miles away.
It's a faceless, budget hotel the sort rife with stag nights and poor businessmen.
I wasn't sure, just what else to say except a light " what have you planned for Christmas Day?" and
She said " Nothing" without any hint of self pity .

I feel incredibly sad

60 comments:

  1. So many questions

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  2. I know not my buisness.......
    But I feel what I feel

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  3. Very sad. Even if there were no family about, no friends either ?
    In a faceless hotel .. Maybe we can imagine that she didn't want to tell you the whole story- that she is meeting her lover and they want no one to know about them.

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    1. Yes! and she's going to have rip-roaring sex, while knocking back Babycham and cheesy footballs. Oops my fantasy rears it's head again. On a serious note, if you're not feeling at your best, Christmas can really rub your face in it. Perhaps that's her way of coping.

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  4. invite this person for dinner?

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  5. That doesn't sound bad at all, might be perfect for her. I hope she enjoys herself.

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  6. Lend her one of your dogs for a few days - preferably not Mary! It will bring a bit of love into her life.

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  7. Your heart is tender and kind.

    There are many who are lucky to have a hotel.

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  8. If she doesn't seem worried about it then I wouldn't be either John. Frankly I've had a few Christmas seasons I would have liked to run away myself. Although I must say, I would have preferred a little nicer location than a budget motel/hotel.

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    1. If you are going to run away, Delores, think big and book The Plaza in NY. If you could use somebody else's credit card, even better.

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  9. It sounds as if it is right for her. Like Delores I have had Christmas seasons I would happily escape. Like this one.

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  10. I'm casting in with Lisa and the Abroad from above; sounds right to me. Never you mind that it's far below zero measured in C......more like minus 30.
    I'm here through the xmas holidays, probably dinner the eve with the neighbor and a friend. I'll do a duck.

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  11. I'm on the other side as well - sometimes it helps to cope with the sadness of a certain time of year if we are in a different environment without all the reminders.

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  12. Honestly, I'd do that this year if I could, just to get a good rest and not have to clean any messes, etc... Sometimes a little anonymity is just what one needs.

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  13. I can't see it ever happening that I am alone on Christmas Day, so I can safely say the idea appeals to me. The zoo is open on Christmas Day. That would be nice to visit.

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  14. The zoo would be perfect! I too would have no problem spending the night away...and I haven't even had to cater or endure big celebrations. It would be great fun with a like minded buddy.

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  15. That is very sad, I hope your friend is ok.

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  16. I could see myself doing something like this. Doing what you like on the holidays, without feeling the pull of family, has an appeal.

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  17. Christmas sucks like a leech, I refuse to buy into the rotten game.

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  18. Maybe she has something planned that she just can't do at home....

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  19. The first time I heard about anyone wanting to escape Christmas was when Sally Jessy Raphael said on her show that Christmas was an unhappy time for her so she went away south or something. I was shocked...being young I couldn't imagine anyone wanting to "escape" Christmas. Now Older and (Kind of) wiser, I sadly know what she means. Back to this lady, maybe she just wanted to go where nobody knows her name. For just a little while.

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  20. My 92 year young aunt travels during Christmas. She has outlived her husband and children. She doesn't want to come here and so she travels. She has had many marvelous adventures while doing so and has done this for 20 years.

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  21. I like the idea of inviting someone like this to your Christmas table. Alone in some dull hotel sounds awful, but maybe there'll be several similar folk to celebrate with.

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  22. Maybe she wants to meet one of those businessmen; even if they are poor. Maybe she does this a few times a year.

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  23. I can't see anything sad about it. In fact I could quite easily see myself doing the same thing. It is no different to going off alone at any other time of the year. Christmas is vastly overrated. I bet there will be a fabulous Christmas Dinner with lots of fun and laughter and other people. No strings attached.

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    1. I will add this to my comment because I don't want to be sccused of upsetting anyone but a budget hotel is more than capable of producing a good meal with happy company, paper hats, crackers and a good laugh. A friend of mine did a solo Christmas like this a few years ago in a cheap hotel in the Lakes and told me it was the best Christmas ever.

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    2. I totally agree, I don't see anything sad about this at all. What a great opportunity to meet new people, or even just to escape the insanity.

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  24. Agree with Rachel. Christmas is vastly overrated, and I can see the lady's point in going to a hotel, for a little pampering, though I would choose somewhere a little more upmarket. As long as you are warm, and there is food on the table, preferably prepared and cooked by someone else, then it would be the ideal solution to being alone.
    Having no immediate family, we always go out for our meal on 25th, and have done for years.

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  25. John I think you're like me - the more people I know are attending our Christmas Dinner the happier I get! We're up to 20 and I am beside myself with excitement! These are all people I love to bits too, not just randoms. But I do also, sort of realise that for many people this is hades on a hot stick.

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  26. It's sad on one level, but maybe a night away from home in a room you don't have to clean yourself. A clean bed made by someone else. With tv, drinks and snacks from home and then a lie in and a cooked breakfast, with no washing up to do afterwards is a Christmassy enough treat to make coming home alone afterwards bearable.

    We all have our reasons.

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  27. I wonder why she's not going to her cousin's. Did the cousin not want company? Did they fall out? Will the cousin not be at home? Did she die? Whatever the reason, a day in a shabby budget hotel is sad indeed.

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  28. Why book in to a hotel if it's not one that has something special to offer eg Christmas dinner or pampering? If it's a Travelodge type there won't be any of that - why not stay at home, if she has no family obligations? There's more to this than meets the eye. You said there was no hint of self-pity, have to assume she's got her reasons.

    There are many lonely people, Christmas just brings it into focus more sharply. It's lovely to offer to share your Christnas dinner, I've done it and it's rewarding, but once Christmas is over the loneliness goes on. You're very generous with your time and thought for others John, and I suspect a word from you has often brightened someone's day. I'm sure you'll be looking out for this person.

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  29. I think folks are too quick to pronounce 'sad' in such a situation. I'd have no problem with being alone on xmas day. I'd stay at home though - I like my own bed.....

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  30. A budget hotel here in France would be one without catering - other than coffee and croissants at breakfast. There might be a vending machine in the public area that guests could stand around and socialize!

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  31. Aaaaw...who are we to judge? Sad though it may seem to some, Bless the lady's heart. And bless yours John. She's doing exactly what suits her for the time. Tis life x

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  32. If her Christmases past have all been awful it's probably a good option. If she would really rather be having a nice time with family or friends then that is a shame.

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  33. I was single for many years and after a few years of spending christmas with my sister and brother in law I decided to give her a break and go it alone. I loved it; I would hole up with some great books, videos, food and a craft project and enjoy two weeks of rest, relaxation, walks and calm. I could go out with friends if I chose but I didn't feel pressured to 'join in'. I never felt sad and lonely and used to relish the time to be completely selfish - and to recharge my batteries. Maybe this lady feels the same. Being alone at christmas can be sad but sometimes it can be worse to be an 'extra' even amongst people you love dearly.

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    1. That's exactly what happened to me last year when my son's in-laws invited me to theirs. I wasn't even allowed to go and help out in the kitchen, even though the mother-in-law was tending to it all herself. She just didn't want me in there. I couldn't wait to leave and get home. They haven't asked me back this year and that suits me just fine and dandy because there's nothing worse than being on the other end of a 'token gesture'.

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  34. Several times I have been in Florida with my family at Thanksgiving, and Jay was in Lexington (the other house.) The first few times he accepted offers to have dinner with friends, always a stressful event. Then he started telling everyone he was going to Florida with me, and stayed home in peace. He would turn the phones off and only respond to my emails. He was so much happier and more relaxed.

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  35. If it had air conditioning and a pool it could be better than home !

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  36. I hope it's just a quiet escape from expectations. I spent various holidays in a funk a long time back and did the same thing.

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  37. Not sad at all.
    Christmas is an orgy of deluded Dickensian sentiment. That is what makes people feel sad and lonely.

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    1. I quite agree. If I had a choice I would ignore it completely.

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  38. I suspect this isn't quite the response you anticipated...

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    1. I feel what i feel

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    2. I suspect many of us just wanted to help you feel better.

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  39. Christmas and the holidays are loaded with a lot of emotions, recollections, stress and whatever else. My beloved gramma died Xmas eve. I shed tears for years and may do so again this year, but that doesn't diminish the joy and wonder and glory of it. I'm not saying this is for you, but I'd drive there Xmas day with a plate full of food. No preaching or proselytizing involved, just one soul caring for another. Why do we wait for Christmas to do that?????
    You've done me good because now I'll keep my eyes open for that soul here. Thank you!

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  40. Curious to know why it wasn't an option to ask her to yours?

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  41. As a single person with no family left, I either choose to spend Christmas here on my own or go on a group holiday abroad, generally a walking holiday where Christmas is virtually ignored. I enjoy both options, but if I am staying at home, then it can be difficult to dodge the well-meaning invitations from people who are shocked that someone is going to be on their own on Christmas Day and assume that this couldn't possibly be enjoyable. I go to church in the morning, but make sure I don't hang around afterwards, for fear of such an invitation. There's a huge difference between an invitation issued because someone actually wants you around and one issued out of misplaced pity. People can also get very offended if you say no thanks. So perhaps what this woman is doing is giving herself an excuse, so that if anyone invites her, she can truthfully say, 'oh sorry, I'm going away for Christmas'. Whatever the story behind what she has chosen to do, I don't think it's sad - in fact it's something I might well do myself and enjoy the experience!

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  42. Sometimes, your heart just knows!

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  43. I shall be alone on Christmas day and I shall thoroughly enjoy it; it will be filled with books and smoked salmon, Champagne and red wine and even a homemade cake.

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