Friday, 13 November 2015

The Elephant's Lost Squeak

This is how I feel today.
After Mrs Trellis so thoughtfully give this small creature to Mary , Winnie  had made it her mission to kidnap and destroy the little squeaking elephant .  So much so is that yesterday she rocked the fridge freezer upon which it had been safely placed that a large tin of flour, a mixing bowl and a bottle of beer came smashing to the ground along side the bloody elephant.
It was de squeaked in seconds.
Now i look like it. For around 3 am I came down with a horrendous bout of D&V.
Since then I have worked my way through 2 pairs of pyjama bottoms and four pair of underpants.
I have a temperature and cant eat.
I feel like shit...as I was booked for overtime tonight
And I look and feel like this fucked up elephant
Hey ho....back to sleep

62 comments:

  1. Do take care and get well

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  2. Oh dear, hope you get your squeak back soon. In the meantime plenty of fluids and strictly no scotch eggs.

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  3. Oh no! I hope you feel better. Wonder if you ate something suspicious? Bravo to Winnie for her persistence, though I certainly don't mean to encourage it.

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  4. I am always so grateful (well... not ALWAYS) AND SHOCKED by how much you share. Is it your nursing background I wonder... Poor elephant, may it rest in peace.

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  5. I give my terrier a stuffed animal only when I'm feeling particularly indulgent, and flush. Why? Because he will kill and disembowel it in way less time than it takes me to clean up the mess of stuffing afterwards. Speaking of bowels, I hope yours settles down soon.

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  6. Feel better soon John. Their leader needs his stuffing and squeak.

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  7. Turns out that I am now doing overtime !
    I had that on Saturday night, was right as rain by Monday x x x

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  8. Turns out that I am now doing overtime !
    I had that on Saturday night, was right as rain by Monday x x x

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  9. Oh dear, poo on finger was rather prophetic then, feel better soon. XX

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  10. Yup, that's what you get if you lick poo off your finger! (but seriously, rest, feel better soon) -Jenn

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  11. oh no...both ends! hope it wasn't the curry?

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  12. Get well soon John and keep hydrated (not that you need to know).

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  13. You haven't lost your sense of humour, which is good to see. Really hope you feel better soon!

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  14. Firing both ends? Shouldn't take too long to empty then....
    Hope you feel better very soon!

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  15. Hope you feel better soon, John - and that you haven't passed the bug on (thinking of the two girls . . )
    Poor de-squeaked effalump . . . we have here a de-grunted pink pig and a pile of soggy, de-squeaked cuddly toys on the lawn. Zac loves a new toy-with-a-voice, so why does he work so hard at killing them?

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  16. Yuck....hope you get well quickly. Do you take flu shots? Required for your job?

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  17. Stay low under the covers today. Sending positive squeaky energy your way, John.

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  18. Winnie sounds very like Buddha, he hasn't met a toy yet that isn't 'his' and doesn't deserve to be killed to death. Hard. Maybe twice, even.

    Feel better soon John... you don't want me heading to Wales, saltines and broth in tow. x

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  19. And yet you still sat down to write your daily missive--not sure how I feel about that. Here's hoping your innards calm down soon, that's less idyllic than we expect from Trelawnyd.

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  20. So you also got the English- man- flu, like Cro and Ts

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  21. I hope you are feeling better soon. In the meantime drink plenty of water.

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  22. Ugh ! I am so sorry you have that kind of sickness. So awful miserable and as my husband said, you think you have to die to feel better.
    But you will .. you know that ... a thinner hungry you will emerge..
    You know, cats are also good at de-squeaking. I guess they don't want it getting in the way of their own squeaking.
    Feel better fast, besos ... from afar, holding my breath so as not to catch a germ ... :)

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  23. When I lived in London, I knew a number of nurses from UCH. Whenever they wanted a day off, they phoned in with D & V. This is the first time I've heard it mentioned since then.

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  24. Tuck yourself under the covers with plenty of water at the bedside. Drink and eat only room temperature drinks or broths. Hot or cold can cause spasms and stirs up the D & V!

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  25. Oh no...feel better soon John.

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  26. I do believe you need to call in and report that you cannot make it to work. Sounds dreadful. May you recover quickly.

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  27. Not much hope for the elephant's future but hope you feel better soon.

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  28. Sorry you are ill, I always sip tonic water, only Shweppes will do Maybe it is something you ate or a bug. I know you will know if it is Clostridium or Norwark as they both have a distinctive pong, shitty really. Much love Andie xxx

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  29. Dammit! My dose peaked two weeks ago, but recovery has been so slow, like an inch a day, and I'm still not there yet. But I do hope your returning to normal will be a lot quicker, knowing only too well how it feels like the stuffing's been knocked out of one - just like....well, poor little Jumbo. Healing wishes are being aimed in your direction.

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  30. Lots of water to drink John - as I am sure you know better than I do.
    Sorry about the elephant losing its squeak - better than it losing its trunk I suppose. Jealousy is a powerful feeling and poor winnie is obviously suffering from it. Get well soon.

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  31. Poor little heffalump, and poor you. Hope you feel better soon XX

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  32. Rest and get well soon John. As for Winnie, she probably couldn't stand one more new animal in her house.

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  33. I always get a cold or dysentery whenever I spend time with young kiddies. I don't think us adults without youngsters have immunity to the bugs the little gaggle carry home from school.

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  34. Awwww hope the Prof gives you lots of TLC this weekend. Sending get well soon vibes your way x

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  35. I bought Rosy an 'indestructible' dog toy a week or so ago and although it is relatively still with us, she managed to half pull the bright red knotted ropes that were inside the bears body fillingout the arms and legs out through it's tummy so it looks just like entrails hanging out. She currently working on pulling the stuffing out through the nose to try to get at the squeak which is trapped behind the intestines ....

    Hope you're soon feeling better. xx

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  36. That poor elephant looks well broken in. I hope your "bug" is a quick one and that you feel much better very soon. Remember the BRAT diet (bananas, rice, apples and tea)?

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  37. Poor little elephant, what did it ever do to Winnie to deserve such treatment - apart from belonging to Mary, that is.
    Sorry you're under the weather John - get well soon.

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  38. Don't you get to stay home and moan in your bed so you don't expose the old patients to illness ? that would be my excuse for calling in sick.

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  39. That's one sad looking elephant! Hope you feel better soon John.

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  40. Oh dear, that sounds like the night-shift from hell (at home) ahead of you with the D&V. I hope you mend soon - think how beneficial it will be for the waistline as nothing tastes right for weeks after a bug like that. At least you qualify for 48 hours off work . . .

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  41. I hope you recover your squeak quickly.

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  42. Hope you feel better soon my lovely. Winnie is obviously a lady with a mission - Went the Day Well?

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  43. Bugger. Right before a weekend too. Take good care!

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  44. I think we all feel like the de-squeaked and mistreated elephant at least once a day. If not several times.

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  45. Man up for goodness sake, put on a big nappy and get into work and infect everybody else. All your commenters in here are far too nice about you (self-excepted)

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  46. Shit! Hope you feel better dear boy x

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  47. Oh my, feel better love and stay hydrated.

    Poor elephant never stood a chance.

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  48. There is a horrendous stomach virus going around here in the US. Ice chips, jello, crackers, and broth are the thing. This is what happens when you eat poo off of your fingers...

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  49. Really Mary ?? I am staying home then , away from people ... cats are good company and they never share germs.
    John, you will wake and feel much better. I just know it. I am gifted that way.
    lol ...

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  50. Feel better soon. D&V is the worst.

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  51. We love you no matter what. I think you and the elephant can be saved. When my dogs had stuffed animals, I made my daughter the stuffed animal surgeon. She would stitch them together until nothing was left to stitch. As for you, I'm sure you'll recover. Take good care of yourself, please.

    Love,
    Janie

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  52. I hope the Prof. is hime soon so he can fetch you a large bottle of Imodium & a package of incontinence underpants. As for the elephant, I'm surprised it looks as good as it does after being chewed on by Winnie. I think Ms. Trellis will understand. having lived with a badly behaved dog of her own. Frankly, I think Winnie was quite smart to have found such a well hidden toy. Hope you are feeling better soon.

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  53. I hope the Prof. is hime soon so he can fetch you a large bottle of Imodium & a package of incontinence underpants. As for the elephant, I'm surprised it looks as good as it does after being chewed on by Winnie. I think Ms. Trellis will understand. having lived with a badly behaved dog of her own. Frankly, I think Winnie was quite smart to have found such a well hidden toy. Hope you are feeling better soon.

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  54. Get better soon. I had the same thing a couple of months back, it is NOT enjoyable. Just remind the Prof that the vows were "in SICKNESS and in health". LOL!

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  55. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  56. Are those girls ok? Those ones that shared your eating of poo off of fingers session? I hope their young stomachs coped better. I now wonder about nursing in Wales, if eating poo off fingers is regarded by a nurse as a fun way to pass an hour of babysitting. I mean, I did think you were joking, but clearly not.

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  57. Never a dull moment at your house! Get better soon.

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