Saturday, 26 September 2015

Apples In Church


 It's harvest festival tomorrow and I am down for church cleaning this week, so I made sure that the pews were buffed and that Gaynor the mad organist's stool was polished and gleaming.
The church had been decorated simply with oranges and apples, which was rather sweet....I do so hate it when the odd tin of out of date rice pudding makes its way onto the font
I've said it before but I do rather like cleaning the church. It's silent and calm...and very Zen


 


Anyhow having banged on about friggin Peace and quiet
I returned to the church shortly after with our food contribution for the homeless shelter
The Church ladies were all there decorating further
And one pointedly and rather patronisingly  told me off for not looping the cord on the hoover properly
So much for Zen eh?

53 comments:

  1. I can imagine it being very calm. On a walk once several friends & I visited the Church where the walk began. It was very atmospheric whatever your belief is.
    Lovely smell of polish I imagine John x

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  2. ......and a lot of half dressed orange women!
    We avoid the city like the plague when it's the races!

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    1. You're not playing fair John....you removed the bit about Chester races, so now my above comment makes no sense!

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  3. Yes, John, churches are very calm. Especially if you are the only one in them. Same with graveyards and cemeteries. Some years ago the Angel and I lived just round the corner from a cemetery. It was huge. And there was never anyone there. Apart from the dead of course. I do hope that in their eternal sleep my then little son on his trike and me pondering on engravings brought them some joy. We went often. The Jewish had their own plot, keeping themselves to themselves.

    Eeriest encounter of a church I have had was in a tiny village church in deepest Yorkshire. It was just me and my sister-in-law arranging the flowers for her mother's funeral the next day. In the middle of the night (well, late evening). There were bats flying. The combination of the setting and her grief surreal.

    U

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  4. In my opinion, you cannot beat a polished stool. Gaynor will be grateful for this particular and, might I say, very intimate service.

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    1. I just knew you would say something like that xxx

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  5. I suppose I get the same feeling walking around our cemetary, usually there are no other people there as grave yards aren't everyone's choice of a walk but we love it.
    I grew up with a cemetary just over the back wall of our garden and remember climbing over the wall with the other kids to play in the old part so they hold no fear for me.
    Love the stained glass window.
    Briony
    x

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  6. You triggered me to remember the huge harvest festivals of my childhood with a huge fruit & veg display and brass band playing.
    Thanks for that little trip down memory lane

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  7. He who does not loop the cord over the Hoover properly takes the wrong path.

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  8. Just her OCD, there is no wrong way to loop the cord on the Hover, different ways, but no wrong ways. Oranges in a harvest festival, I think of a harvest festival as being local, global warming has progressed if villagers are growing oranges in Wales.

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  9. Narrow mindedness flourishes in small villages and towns. The hoover cord was one way of showing it.

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    1. um, i go to a church in a great big city and i can imagine this same thing happening. It really depends on the individual

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    2. Narrow mindedness flourishes in churches then.

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    3. Some people no matter where they live or even if they go to church can be narrow minded !
      Condescending and superior comes to mind too.

      cheers, angryparsnip

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  10. And now you know WHY people don't sign up to do things like clean the church...as I get older, I have become more open and I would have told her exactly that...somewhat nicely....

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  11. She's probably the one who brings the out of date rice pudding.

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  12. beeyotch! next time, leave the cord on the floor and have the queen of all vacuum cleaners put it round!

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  13. Awwww .... anal church ladies .. nothing so bothersome as a wonky hoover cord.

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  14. Lovely photos, John. Hope the harvest celebrations are enjoyed by everyone x

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  15. The stained glass window is beautiful. How old is the church? It looks like the perfect place for some quiet meditation or prayer.

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    1. The church was " modernised" in the 1860s i think, but there has been a church on this site since the -14th century

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  16. One of my favorite jobs as a novice in the monastery was cleaning the small chapel where the community had daily Mass and other services. There was something so silent there, even more silent than the rest of the monastery. Fortunately I was blessed with a vacuum cleaner with a retractable cord. When I finished using it, the cord quietly withdrew into the body of the vacuum.
    I suppose the Zen response to the church lady's correction would be, "Ah."

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    1. Afraid mine was a brusque " oh it's the end of the world"

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    2. That just confirmed it for her.

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    3. great snappy comeback, john!

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  17. Ach, loop it this way or that, its all good in the end. Lovely little chore you have there. I would love to do that. I bet it has that lovely old wood smell that I adore.

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  18. For more than three decades, I spent time in such a peaceful churches - on my own. Normally on a Friday afternoon or Saturday morning; going through the hymns for Sunday's service or sorting out notes or pedals that don't work!

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  19. There's always one John.
    Actually my cleaner tells me off for exactly the same thing.

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  20. Can't please everyone ... BUT I bleep about my cord too. I don't know why that is.

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  21. There's always one fucking purist amongst the 'relaxed'. You found her!

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  22. You win some. You lose some.

    The church is beautiful. It does seem very calming.

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  23. What a gorgeous church, however the hoover cord must be looped properly or it is very irritating - sorry am with her on that one x

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  24. What a gorgeous church, however the hoover cord must be looped properly or it is very irritating - sorry am with her on that one x

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  25. Good on you for cleaning the church anyay, rude old bat. I love Harvest time, our village church is closed for renovations until Christmas, so the harvest festival will be in school. Won't be the same without the shafts of colour shining through the stained glass windows on to the children, won't be the same now my hoy has moved on to middle school. The seasons keep turning ......

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  26. I did the cleaning rota at our local chapel when the girls were younger and went to Sunday school.
    It must be part of the JD cos the other women were all bloody experts in stating the bleeding obvious ......... And two faced !

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  27. This is all a bit 'Alan Bennett' don't you think? .....

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    1. The best compliment xxx

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  28. What? No mammoth Marrows or Humongous Cabbages ? It's not Harvest time unless small boys stagger in with them while the girls carry small pretty baskets. Sexist I know.
    I rarely use a vacuum cleaner and would happily leave it to the "expert" and let her get on with it.

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  29. What a lovely church and the windows are wonderful.
    Love the simple alter decorations.
    For many years I used to do the flowers for my church.
    It was always a pleasure to be in there when it was quiet
    or you could hear some people talking quietly from another
    part of the church.
    Lovely post today.

    cheers, parsnip

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  30. The lady sounds like the retired man I live with. He thinks it is his duty to tell people of their mistakes and they should thank him for doing so.

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  31. My husband retired early, I became his new job. You know, making sure I did the things I had been doing forever , the right way .. his way.
    There were a few nights that he was allowed to cook since it was so much work telling me how to do it.
    I never thanked him. Well, maybe once or twice ..

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    1. Perfect.
      Just hand over the knife and walk away.

      cheers. parsnip

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    2. between the ribs, preferably....

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  32. That is a beautiful, simple carving behind the fruit in the photo. Any chance it was done by the gent who gave you yours?

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  33. please do watch https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jOE_J9DZq4o
    It's a French guy but it could have been Victor Meldrew....

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  34. I hope Gaynor doesn't slide off her stool when she reaches a crescendo!!

    And there's something wrong about tins goods in the harvest festival display isn't there .... although I'm sure they would be very appreciated by the homeless shelter. A display of fruit and vegetables makes the festival seem right, after all we are celebrating what our good earth has given us thanks to our labour ... not what the canning factory sent us from overseas :-)

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  35. Bet she's a member of the WI as well.....or related to my boss.....Downton? you ain't heard nothing yet!

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  36. That's something my mother would say (instead of "thank you"). And I usually respond right back, "You're welcome" (while she remains clueless).

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  37. Maybe you can braid the cord next time in a bit of cheek :)
    MissFifi

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  38. I just don't understand people who can snark over how a cord was wrapped?! Ummm, it was put back where it belonged and the "lady" didn't have to do it for you. As to the Zen of church, you are exactly right. When I was young, my family spent time in Washington, D.C. While there we spent a lot of time at the Washington Cathedral; despite the fact that it was in the middle of this terribly busy city, it was so quiet and peaceful as soon as you set foot on the grounds. You could really feel the hand of the Divine there. I love churches and cemeteries. They are wonderful places to quiet the noise that exists in our heads.
    Best Wishes from Oklahoma!

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