Thursday, 13 August 2015

The New Girlfriend


Claire had a best friend called Laura who she had lesbian feelings for
Laura married David and had a baby.
Then Laura died of cancer.
Claire supports David and finds out that he likes cross dressing.
He dresses in Laura's clothes .
Claire is married to Gilles.
Claire secretly meets David and supports his fetish.
David falls for Claire
Claire falls for David ( but only in drag.....when he is Virginia and looks remarkably like Laura)
Claire tells Gilles David is gay
Virginia and Claire almost have sex but he has a penis ( which we see in full glory) so she says she cannot go through with it.
Virginia is knocked down by a car and goes into a coma
Claire dresses the unconscious David in Laura's clothes and he wakes up
Claire , gets together with David ( sorry Virginia )
The end

What a load of shit

47 comments:

  1. That's the plot to the movie, right? I want to see the cartoon with all the emotions. Inside Out? Maybe you should see that.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Think how much more satisfied you would be if you spent the admission price on scotch eggs.

    ReplyDelete
  3. da fuq; talk about shite! I'd rather watch a good film, like "an american in paris".

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hang on, you lost me - Davis and Claire almost have sex but he has a penis... I am going to have to see this film now to understand.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. David was dressed as virginia duh

      Delete
    2. Nope, it still makes no sense. (and it's 'derr' not 'duh' - you are Welsh, not American).

      Delete
  5. I understand - but I don't want to - too bad you wasted your money.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I think I need a flow sheet for that one!

    ReplyDelete
  7. I am definitely confused & it's not just a senior moment!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Oh. Thank God for that. I thought it was another portrait of relationships in Trelawnyd. At The Flower Show did Claire win a certificate for her soft fruit?

    ReplyDelete
  9. unnnmmmm No thanks !
    The scotched eggs would have been better !

    cheers, parsnip
    p.s.
    who won the blogger contest ?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. All the blogger entries were banned from the Show and censored because I entered the cock and balls made from an elongated pepper and two red onions which made some of the Trelawnyd elders angry. John just hasn't worked out how to tell you.

      Delete
    2. Bummer !
      rather naughty
      I like the strawberry on the egg the lemon with the flag and mine of course.
      bummer

      Delete
    3. My only entry ever was even simpler - a carrot held against the trousers.

      Delete
    4. I thought my red onions added a little bit of je ne sais quoi.

      Delete
    5. Only a carrot Tom? Pity.

      Delete
  10. Most confusing, and can be avoided, easily.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I don't think I will rent that one.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I have a headache.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Hmm ... doesn't seem like much of a plot after about the first two sentences ...

    ReplyDelete
  14. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  15. This made me think of the old Abbott and Costello bit, "Who's on First".

    ReplyDelete
  16. Sounds like some of the neighbors I had in Hollywood. They were considered to be average and mundane.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I had to look up scotch egg, but even not knowing, it sounded better than that movie!

    Cat

    ReplyDelete
  18. What... did nothing explode?

    ReplyDelete
  19. Now don't be vague John...tell us what you thought of it.....x

    ReplyDelete
  20. Sounds good. Profound. Must see. True to life if it is a load of shit.

    ReplyDelete
  21. I love Francois Ozon. A French legend!

    ReplyDelete
  22. You lost me half way through that!

    ReplyDelete
  23. My head is spinning!

    ReplyDelete
  24. I thought I had it, then I lost it, then I got it back ..... but I don't think I'll hand over my hard earned money to see it. ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  25. Sounds like the plot of a Marian Keyes novel...

    ReplyDelete
  26. The 'must miss' movie of 2015!

    ReplyDelete
  27. After that mind-spinning precis I'm not surprised at your verdict. Stands to reason, though - Francois Ozon was the one responsible for that catastrophe-threatening hole in the sky, was he not?

    ReplyDelete
  28. Definitely won't bother with that one then. Thoroughly enjoyed 'Kingsman' with Colin Firth though.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Oh cool, someone made a movie about my life.

    *snerk*

    ReplyDelete
  30. That's not shit, that's art .... snicker.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Too predictable.. a better ending would have been:
    Giles goes to pick up Laura at the hospital and falls in love with Virginia
    Giles and David live happily ever after.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Too predictable.. a better ending would have been:
    Giles goes to pick up Laura at the hospital and falls in love with Virginia
    Giles and David live happily ever after.

    ReplyDelete
  33. I am reading through that and thinking, that is a lot to have happen in a small town in Wales

    ReplyDelete
  34. I, too, thought it was the goings on about the village ..... and not just a hot mess of a movie.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Sounds like another one of those funny comedies ...rom coms are they called?

    ReplyDelete
  36. OK. I believe you. I'll skip it.

    ReplyDelete
  37. I've a feeling this won't be coming to town. If it does, I shall skip it.

    ReplyDelete
  38. Let's see now... John lives with his partner Chris but also shares a bed with Winnie. Winnie, however, is in love with Albert, but Albert is always going out and chasing after wild birds. Gay Gordon calls John "Flower" but lives with his lady friend (Gay Gordon's lady friend that is, not John's). Every few months John has to use a cloth to wipe Winnie's fanny, especially when visitors are arriving as Winnie tends to want to rub her fanny on their soft shoes. There are other characters in the house too, also wanting to share John's bed, which Chris tolerates although he does complain about the mess. Meanwhile John takes photos of all these goings on and puts them up on the internet for all to see, much to Chris's consternation...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And the prize for best blog reply goes to andrew !

      Delete

I love comments and will now try very hard to reply to all of them
Please dont be abusive x