Saturday, 29 August 2015

3.03 am

What a surprise!
Mention that you hate a country's gun law and you inflame several " loyal " readers who think you are taking a side swipe at everything and anything they hold dear......
Which is bollocks.
Anyhow So be it....... Like my old boozy mom always said after drinking all the Gordon's " You Can't please everyone"
My problem, ( and I know it) is that I wear my heart on my sleeve. I write about feelings and think people know me ...... And the sad truth is that they don't .
Like I said so be it.
I am typing this at work....... No...I am not skiving......I am sat in a dark side room watching over a sleeping patient on a ventilator. The patient is comfortably dreaming what I hope are sweet dreams and I have another three hours to go on shift. I cannot leave the room until relieved
and I had a pee an hour ago.
I have time and space to think.

I am feeling rather melancholy which is a product of being tired with my own thoughts.  I am missing the Prof and his Roger Moore eyebrow. I am missing Meg too......with her overly anxious button- brown eyes and her unhealthy need to be glued to me ..that old Welsh Terrier was a bigger part of my daily routine than I gave her credit for
Oh and I am missing scotch eggs...I haven't had one in 9 days
And after yesterday and all of the blog debates...I am missing good humour .

I cannot function properly without good humour . I am, by nature a humorous person.
I am drawn to it ......if Lisa Tarbuck ( God she makes me laugh) or Victoria Coren Mitchell or Sue Perkins  were sat at the nurses' station , I would be right there in the middle of them ......
I don't like unsmiling days

Hey ho

82 comments:

  1. John Gray you have made me need to pee. Gosh darn.

    ReplyDelete
  2. What do you call a sticky blackbird?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Love it ..... I bet he grinned:-)

      Delete
  3. what do you call sleeping lycanthrope?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Life's to short not to have a good belly laugh at least once a day. Don't ever stop providing them John.
    It's a beautiful sunny day here today and you are going to have a wonderful time in OZ where the majority of the population have your kind of sense of humour.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeahhh. You said it...able to take the mickey out of themselves if you know what I mean. Laugh at ourselves and love black humour.

      Delete
  5. Sorry about your spot of depression, John. I had to go back and read the post about guns that you mentioned (I'm behind on my blog reading). What has struck me about it all is the lack of civility among some of your readers. Let's discuss but not demean! It's the tone that is unfortunate but not the opinion or thought.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Enough already.....I've had enough of the whole subject......

      Delete
    2. And I'm not depressed just melancholy..........

      Delete
    3. And that's shifting

      Delete
  6. John, I put a video of thehamish talking on my blog.
    Stop by he is a hoot !
    He will make you smile.

    cheers, parsnip

    ReplyDelete
  7. A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.
    After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."
    The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"
    "Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet.
    "How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."
    The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.
    The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.
    The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."
    The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.
    The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead?"
    The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Now that made me smile x

      Delete
    2. I love this !

      cheers, parsnip

      Delete
    3. Very good - gonna have to remember that one!

      Delete
  8. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  9. The Roger Moore eyebrow will be cocked in your direction again soon. Speak your mind, friend. It's your blog. Good night.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Celkalee
    Forgive me but I have moved your comment to the gun law blog and there it will stay.. Please no gun comments here..not today

    ReplyDelete
  11. One more over the top hilarity, then I'm off to bed... check this out, if you dare...it's hilarious really... http://mentalfloss.com/article/66345/amazing-images-classic-japanese-fart-battles

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mad as a badger

      Delete
    2. Yes. I posted it to facebook a while ago and I think that is when my more religious family-by-marriage family members 'unfriended' me...no problem except now I don't get to see the cute photos of all their many kids..! As a matter of fact several more (kids) have been added since being disconnected..

      Delete
  12. If ever I were in intensive care, I would hope you or someone like you would be there watching over me.

    Good night. More tomorrow, maybe!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've always said you're a woman of good taste

      Delete
    2. Well, in that case, maybe I will follow you back again! LOL!

      Delete
  13. This is why I keep coming back here. You speak your mind, but never in a nasty way. I laugh, I cry, I am grossed out. I love that you are unpredictable and entertaining. And, I am sure, a thoroughly decent human being.
    I don't comment on controversial topics, I hate the argument that often ensues. But I enjoy reading them.
    Keep doing what you do.
    Chin up Chuck, soon you will be reunited with the Prof, and I dearly hope for, and look forward to, blogs about your travels...xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Are you just SURE that I am decent? Lol

      Delete
    2. ..and what's all this shit about being grossed out?

      Delete
  14. Here's a hug coming your way! The sun will be up soon!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. With the dawn there's hope

      Delete
    2. Rosie fingered Dawn...

      Delete
    3. (Lesbian interest as well as Persian poetry scholars...)

      Delete
  15. Been a few shifts on that watch in the ICU, John. Beware the 4am to 5am hours, that's when things happen.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The " lowest ebb hours" I know them well

      Delete
  16. You make me smile so often with your writing - I wish I knew how to give that gift to you now. I hope the three hours goes quickly and smoothly, and that your melancholy lifts soon.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's lifted already.......

      Delete
  17. I try to see humour in everything, unfortunately this can occasionally be misinterpreted; not that it would ever stop me!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Dear John:
    First of all I first heard of men who pee in the sink in the UK.
    Secondly, as an american... I read your post yesterday and agree with you completely. The "right to bear arms" in our declaration came. As a reaction to British rule.
    Lastly... I adore you and your Blog.
    Ruth in Oxnard Ca.

    ReplyDelete
  19. I hope your melancholy has lifted.
    It is a part of you, but preferably a small part.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Let's hope you enjoy your upcoming holiday in Oz then. As a nation we are an irreverent lot and " take the piss" out of all situations and enjoy a laugh ( often at eachother's expense ). Sounds like you need a bout of FUN and RELAXATION, let's hope you find it down here in sunny Oz.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Indeed, indeed. I think John will love sunny Oz and he will fit right in.

      Delete
  21. We who grow up not needing to wear bright orange to go get clothes off the line at certain times of the year do find the gun rights debate rather odd. Personally I feel their freedom to shoot shit should end where my right not to have to wear orange to step out my door begins. :) i like Oz gun laws and hope we keep them strict.

    I'm sorry you are missing the Prof and your little Meg. Sometimes it is easier to be brave at first than it is later. And, I don't think you under-appreciated her. Your love for her was very evident. No we don't know all about you, but I know you love your loved ones to bits, and that's enough for me. xxx

    I'm sorry I can't think of anything funny to tell you to brighten your day, but it is a new day there anyway, so hopefully it is a brighter one already, John.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Glad you've found your happy again, the world's just not quite right without your smile in it.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Yes you do wear your heart on your sleeve and are passionate about people, animals and things.....that's very evident. And you're brave enough to write whatever you want to - and why shouldn't you, it's your blog! No I don't actually know you, John, but I wish I did. You'd make a lovely best friend. Hope you have sweet dreams following your night shift.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Argh John occasionally melancholy hits. Just imagine how wonderful it will be to see Prof in beautiful Australia. Dear little Meg, it is hard to lose such a loving companion . Xxx sending you a big hug .

    ReplyDelete
  25. As they say sometimes the darkest hours are before dawn xxx

    ReplyDelete
  26. Hello John, I missed you last night. I get misunderstood too on the humour front and you know me, heart on sleeve too, cant keep my mouth shut. Blog friends forever you and me. Lots of love Rachelxx

    ReplyDelete
  27. my son has got his first job on leaving college in of all places, the scotch egg department of the pig factory , he says hes having dreams wheres hes Indiana Jones being chased by a giant scotch egg

    ReplyDelete
  28. I wrote about feelings occasionally( a handful of posts out of more than 700). That culminated in someone thinking she knew me better than my own family do, and being told that I had destructive issues for which I needed therapy( amongst other things).There will always be people who read what isn't actually there because they have their own agenda or want to have a rant.
    I hope your reunion with the Prof is followed by a wonderful and memorable holiday filled with smiles and laughter.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are so right Scarlet.

      Delete
  29. Just keep doing what you do, John.
    This isn't the place for people to get all angry and worked-up - that belongs on those stupid daytime TV shows where people do their dirty laundry in public and end up fighting.
    Just like the rest of us you're free to express an opinion in the hope of sparking a bit of lively informed debate without it descending into an international slanging match.
    I for one will continue to enjoy Going Gently, with its good nature, wit, and honesty.
    Keep it up!

    ReplyDelete
  30. John - don't be dragged down to the level of people who have been taken in by invented paranoia. (I find quoting the FULL wording of the 2nd Amendment helps, as they seem to have forgotten it - "Against a common enemy" - i.e. an invading foreign power)

    But that's by the by now. I think you need a flying visit from Bunty to chase off the Black Dog. And a Scotch Egg. Have you tried the M&S breakfast ones yet?

    ReplyDelete
  31. Dearest John ~ I don't "know" you other than via your blog but I come to visit each time you put up a new post. You make me: smile...snort my tea (I should have learned by now not to drink whilst reading your posts!) when I am convulsed with laughter...sometimes shed a tear...nod in agreement...occasionally disagree with your opinion. This is YOUR blog and no one has the right to think that you can't share YOUR views in your own corner of the 'net. I don't know why folk can't be civil and agree to disagree.

    And I know how you feel, missing your sweet little Meg ~ I miss my own sweet little Nikki....

    ReplyDelete
  32. Sharon, you expressed my feelings exactly.

    John, we follow your blog because you are funny, irreverent, deeply caring and have such a wonderful eye for the human detail. For all those gifts, we thank you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well said Virginia....it is his eye for detail in small things that can have big impacts on our lives.

      Delete
  33. John, just read my way through your gun blog and all comments. Don't say I waste my time. Joke.

    Can't see the problem. You wear your heart on your sleeve (greetings from a fellow sufferer) and that is what makes your blog so refreshing. There is nothing contrived in your writing. Though, naturally, one does need to be able to stomach a surfeit of Winnie, shit and fannies first thing in the morning. Durrell would adopt you as his younger brother without a moment's hesitation. As would I..

    All that happened there in the blog section was - and so it should be - a frank exchange of views. As far as I can see few took umbrage. Those who confuse valid criticism of ONE aspect of, say, a country with writing off all its citizens ... well, let's just say they don't get the full picture.

    I commend blogs like yours where discussion evolves organically. Be proud of it. Neither would I call those (as one of your commentators did) discordant voices "trolls". To disagree does not make a troll. Who needs sycophants (devious swipe at Cro Mag. Sorry, John)?

    Hugs and hisses (that's Albert),

    U

    ReplyDelete
  34. Interesting that firstly you are at all troubled about what pro gun US people think and secondly that I can write about the same thing with a stronger anti gun view, and everyone agrees. Perhaps it is because I have many less readers in the US, well in total really. The Prof is an a better place than Melbourne now.

    ReplyDelete
  35. ICU PATIENT (Mumbling) Nurse! Nurse! I think I'm dying...I can't breathe!
    NURSE GRAY Hang on a minute I am writing a new blogpost.
    ICU PATIENT (Expires) Hummph!
    (Monitor alarms blare out and Ward Sister rushes in)
    WARD SISTER What the **** are you doing Nurse Gray?
    NURSE GRAY Err...just googling scotch egg recipes
    WARD SISTER Scotch egg recipes! This patient has died!
    NURSE GRAY Oh. Has he? Well, we all have to go some time love! Now you are here I'm off for my tea break. Ta-ra!
    WARD SISTER (fuming) I'm reporting you!
    NURSE GRAY Suit yourself (under his breath) Bitch!

    ReplyDelete
  36. Not difficult to feel melancholy at that time of day. Just look forward to your reunion with The Prof. (I can recommend Hugo's restaurant if you get to Manly.)

    ReplyDelete
  37. I detest guns. A wave of depression washed over me last night. It's such a lonely feeling. I know I will recover, but I understand how you feel.

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
  38. A British man changed his name to Tim Pppppppppprice to make it harder for telemarketers to pronounce.

    Now that gives me an idea...

    ReplyDelete
  39. There are too many folk out there who seem to confuse Blogs with Forums and think they can join in a debate on what started out as an opinion.

    Perhaps this is because so many have started to use blogs as money making career opportunities, us diary bloggers who use our blogs to simply log our day to day lives when we express an opinion or say what we do, everyone jumps on us with their opinions and not always in a nice way.

    I hope your patient realised how lovingly they were being watched over :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The best comment to date

      Delete
    2. Ah, thank you, Sue. Now I know where I have gone wrong for years, namely confusing "blogs with forums".

      Let me ask you (and John) a question: If a blog, as you say, is to "simply log our day" then why publish it [the log of our day]? Publish it whilst inviting comments?

      And, John, to you, and you know I am well disposed to you, one hot tip of the day: Don't keep saying (as you do) "The best comment to date". Your comment section is not the flower show. I do believe that every one of your readers who makes the effort to comment is "a good comment".

      U

      Delete
  40. Although I love all of the four seasons, I sometimes feel a little blue as I feel autumn creeping in.

    ReplyDelete
  41. John Gray- you write what you want. And to my mind, you were completely correct in your opinion of the country I live in and its insane gun laws. If the whole world said what you said, maybe the shame would add to the weight of those of us who want these things to change.
    Bless you, man. Bless your heart.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Dear John, (I always wanted to write that!). It's your blog and you write what you want to write.

    What did the nurse say when she/he found a rectal thermometer in her/his pocket? "Some asshole has my pen!"

    We come to visit you because you are you. I hope your patient feels the love. A caregiver who genuinely cares is a rarity. Thank you.

    Do you get an award for being nine day Scotch Egg free like in AA?

    ReplyDelete
  43. Here's one! Elderly (ancient, actually) chap in 4 bedded bay hates noise except when he's making it. Loves shouting at us nurses. Latest gem to come from his mouth, "shut up or I'll come over and piss on you!". As he is prone to going into retention I just stopped myself from answering "feel free".

    ReplyDelete
  44. John,
    I am an American and am fed up with the shooting. I do not understand the suicidal folks who feel they need to take anywhere from one to 20 people with them. "Death by cop" is becoming all to familiar as well.
    I appreciated your post. Not all Americans are gun nuts. But then, as a female, I am also rooting for Bernie Sanders for President. He is the only one who has outwardly supported the rights of women. More so than Hillary!
    Keep on being the big-hearted person you are. That is why I enjoy reading your blog.

    ReplyDelete

I love comments and will now try very hard to reply to all of them
Please dont be abusive x