Thursday, 9 July 2015

Winnie Saves Albert's Life

I've just been cooking liver and onions in the kitchen when Winnie steamrollered through from the living room and bolted out of the back door.
She bounced up the garden steps like a baby hippo and disappeared from view but started to bark, her high pitched baby voice bark down by the garden gate.
I wiped my hands and was just about to follow her up, when she thundered back into the kitchen, gave me a short hard stare then bounced into the garden again.
Bulldogs seldom hurry so I lumbered after her.
Beyond the garden gate in the rough grass behind the cottage I could hear Albert retching, and I could just see him heaving his head up and down.
Immediately I thought poison , so I galloped up and scooped him up, but it was in fact evident that he had something stuck in his throat.
I squeezed him very hard, so hard that his eyes popped and swung his head down and out flopped this!
The friggin back end of a baby mouse

Fucking idiot
These animals will be the death of me


103 comments:

  1. Oh, wow. Tell him to chew next time!

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    1. He usually eats rabbit..... Lucky he didnt get one of those babies stuck

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  2. Well done to Winnie!

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  3. OMG !
    Super Woman Winnie to the rescue. dadaduuuummmm
    Thank goodness Winnie love Albert so much.
    Chew Albert, chew.

    cheers, parsnip

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  4. Oh Albert, you silly bugger!
    Who needs Lassie when you can have 'SuperWinnie'!!!

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  5. Must be the time of year! Last week our black cat (Minnie) was sleeping on the bed upstairs, suddenly, she raced downstairs and started the wild eyed retching that cats are so good at. Not to be outdone I pushed the Daily Express under her mouth and was rewarded with a whole mouse + hair balls (an added extra), it stunk so bad that I heaved and I have had 30years in the NHS, it takes a lot to bother me. One poorly cat for a few days, but cheap cat food
    bought in despair and she was well again. Well done Winnie, such a clever dog but she has a soft spot for Albert doesn't she. You are so right I get more grey hairs every day. xxx PS I had not even done the crossword !

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  6. You do make me laugh. Winnie is a heroine!

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  7. I always knew that bulldogs were in a class of their own when it came to intelligence. Now Winnie has given me proof. Well done that old girl!

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  8. I can believe without a doubt that a cat could and would choke on a mouse but I am absolutely gobsmacked that Winnie saved her life by bringing the situation to your attention and making sure you got to her in time. None of my dogs ever did a damn thing like that. Give that girl a piece of that liver!

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  9. What's that, Lassie? He's fallen down a well and broken his leg? The left leg? Ok - there's no time to lose!

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    1. Winnie doesn't know her left from right silly

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    2. She knows the arse-end of Chris's underpants though.

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    4. Just like Skippy the bush kangaroo. She was clever like that !!!

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  10. Good thing you're a nurse and know the Heimlich Manoeuvre!

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  11. Winnie panicked. I bet Albert would have got it up.

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    Replies
    1. Give over....don't spoil it for me.....

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  12. I'm sorry, but I had to smile! It's the way you are able to paint such graphic pictures with so few words. Vx

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  13. I tried that with my daughter's cat - Sir Thomas Munchalot - and all that came out were a few feathers from the front end, and a very squeaky, high-pitched, fart from the back.
    Must've needed the Winnie touch, as obviously she's a Wumble along with all her many other fine qualities. (A Wumble being what the kidling called a doctor or nurse when she was all of three.)

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  14. How do they know?? Good job, Winnie!! And yes, Albert, chewing helps.

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  15. It's not funny - but I'm laughing at how you said that. Good for Winnie, she saved the day - I think he's have managed to hack it up, but we won't tell the old girl that.

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  16. Wow, you all look out for one another.

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  17. I am also laughing really really hard re: "Fucking Idiot"!

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    Replies
    1. And me!

      Jo in Auckland, NZ

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    2. That picture is classic cat. Post-crisis "What's the problem?"

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  18. Just spat some very expensive gin all over myself, snorting with laughter!

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    1. Bombay Sapphire?

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    2. cor blimey, I hope NOT!

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    3. Chase from Herefordshire. Better than sex and not as sticky.

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  19. Tears of laughter today! So typical of cats! Well done Winnie

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  20. Liver and onions are mighty easy to ruin, overcooking. Hope you saved those for you and Chris.

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  21. Life with cats and dogs. Such joy

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  22. Liver and onions? Winne and Albert cooked up a cunning plot to ensure that you didn't eat the poison that is liver. And very generously would take it on for you. True heroes - both of them.

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    Replies
    1. Quite! Does anyone under 75 still cook liver and onions?...John Gray, you are my mother and I claim my five pounds...

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    2. Only me wanda...and it was bloody lovely

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  23. I agree with thee above comment....I know who ought to get that liver now....at least some of it!! WINNIE!!!

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  24. Super Winnie to the rescue! Good girl.

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  25. Anyone would think Albert didn't get fed at home - silly bugger!

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    Replies
    1. This evening he brought in a baby sparrow and ate most of it on the stairs

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    2. Mmm... crunchy....

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  26. Just got to that pic of the mouse as I was biting into a chunk of Dairy Milk Special Edition Strawberries and Creme Choccy.......thought it tasted a bit strange but it certainly hasn't put me off eating the rest tomorrow!!

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  27. Nothing is allowed to die in my house or my garden. I cannot deal with that. So if anything feels poorly, please go to the nice lady next door. She knows how to cope. I can't cope anymore. I used up all my cope.
    Regards to Winnie the Wonder Girl.

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  28. May I put in a word for the sad parents of the poor mouse and sparrow? Life is cruel. Albert is a wanton murderer (but I like him).

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    Replies
    1. He's a tit
      My nerves are shredded with the lot of them

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    2. AND I MEAN THAT!

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    3. Relax. They'll be fine.

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    4. No , just today , I MEAN IT

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    5. Well only another hour to go.

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    6. Sometimes mom just has enough

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    7. Yes well she just has to keep on going...

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  29. don't I know it. I fell asleep on the couch and was woken by sounds of a cat playing with something. must be a roach I thought. if it was a mouse I would hear it squeak. then I hear the unmistakable sounds of eating. flipped on the light to see the cat eating a dead mouse head first. jeez, Emma, not on the rug so I picked it up and put it on a piece of newspaper. one tiny foot was all that remained in the morning.

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  30. Albert's getting older. He may need his mouse cut up for him now. :)

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  31. Laughing out loud because I know exactly how you feel. Mine will be the death of me also, or at least take years off my life.
    You go Winnie, my girl.
    Very pleased that Albert is still amongst the living.

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  32. At least you knew what to do, not sure I would.
    Another quiet day in Trelawnyd.

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  33. I once found the back end of a mouse under my dining room table. I was told the head is a delicacy (as well as how cats contract toxoplasmosis). You and Winnie make a great team.

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  34. Oh my you are having a time of it. Well done Winnie to the rescue. My cat Bo is always bringing me rats and mice, she never eats them just leaves them by the back door as a present. Lovely.

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  35. I have 2 cats. One very young and one very old. I can't say that I have noticed any mice around but I have a feeling there never will be. So you think if I get a dog, I will have him picnicking on mice in the living room ??

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  36. Perhaps after wearing underpants Winnie has identified as a super hero and is using her Winnie super dog powers rescuing distressed animals in the countryside . Go Winnie , you are such a treasure and a clever girl . John dear , an old saying when you you have had enough ' take a Bex and have a good lie down . Bex was a product sold years ago , pain remedy individually wrapped in paper and in powder form . Come to think of it and its popularity when I was small it might have had some weird ingredients ...... Take care xx

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  37. OMG, I haven't laughed so hard in days!! Thank goodness Winnie was there so save the day! And yes, you are probably right that your animals will be the death of you BUT you will have lots of company...

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  38. Clever Winnie, they'll be even more bonded now ...... unless Albert secretly had it all under control and objects to almost having his eyes popped out ;-)

    You remember I said I wouldn't rescue any more baby rabbits after them eating all my onions last week.... well guess what I rescued yesterday, gosh I'm a softy :-/

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  39. Superhero Winnie!!!!!!!!!!

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  40. I don't know whether to laugh, cry or retch ... I do think Winnie is a smart girl, though!

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  41. That's an awesome story with a happy ending. Sort of reminds me of the old Lassie TV show.

    "What is it girl? Is Timmy stuck in a well?"

    I guess now it would be "What is it girl? Is Timmy choking on half a mouse?"

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  42. Smart, smart pup that Winnie. Albert owes her one!

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  43. Good girl Winnie........the hubs and I were riveted. Thank goodness you are in tune with your animals. Dear Albert...how many of his nine lives does he have left?. He's going to miss Winnie while she's on vacation.

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  44. That picture of Albert and the caption gave me a good laugh. Winnie is a gem.

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  45. Great photo of BFFs Winnie and Albert in the sidebar. Is it a new addition?

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  46. Bloody animals; if it's not one thing, it's another!

    Another prize winning title.

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  47. Wow. There's never a dull moment at your house, is there?

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  48. What a good girl Winnie is ! Just remember that, John, next time you try to put her in an awful pair of pants !!

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  49. So, has Albert learned his lesson? Like hell he has!

    I suggest you put forward Winnie's name for an MBE. I'm sure that some far less deserving have got one. (You could, of course, make that a CBE, though it wouldn't do to be TOO presumptuous.)

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  50. Winnie, you beauty !

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  51. You are a hero!



    ALOHA
    ComfortSpiral
    =^..^=

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  52. The sooner you get to go on your hols the better!

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  53. So thoughtful of you to decorate the 'half of mouse' with a tiny green sprig. It's these little touches that are doing it!

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  54. Winnie should have thrown herself on top of Albert & the half a mouse would have shot out faster than a rat out of a drain pipe !!!

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  55. go Winnie !
    I have a tribe of field mice in my kitchen brought in alive by Frankie & manage to escape under the fridge !

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  56. Well done Winnie, thank goodness Albert decided to eat in front of her! Maybe he was trying to impress her?

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  57. We girls with our curvy figures can run when we have too!!

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  58. ...er..only half a mouse.... wonder what happened to the front part ?

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  59. Would love to have seen Winnie going that fast! Good girl! Poor Albert looks hellish.

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  60. You should change Winnie's name to Lassie.

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  61. Well done Winnie. You are true heroine. xx

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  62. I was just browsing the Welsh Terrier website for adopting dogs. I was sad to see how many people are giving up their dogs who know no other home or people because they had a baby or they found out the dog is active ... why do these fat couch potatoes get pets at all !?? so anyway- if you ever wanted to adopt another pup ... you might consider coming to the US and getting one :)
    This is a very round about what of saying I want a Welsh Terrier and I want you not to be so sad. :)

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  63. Nearly round the bend with ours too. One dog came in last night after relieving herself and cleaned her rear end on the carpet (they keep eating grass and it doesn't always come out in one go!). 4 o'clock this morning, I was woken up by the other dog whining, got up to let her out but just as I opened the door, she vomited all over the floor!

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  64. That Winnie is a saint

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  65. Absolutely love the latest side-bar pic of Winnie & Albert. What a terrific girl you are, Winnie! No wonder Albert adores you so much! I love you very much, too.

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  66. Winnie the wonder dawg. Black cape and mask please John oh and red knickers.

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  67. How lovely of Winnie to let you know!

    I've had to do the Heimlich on a greyhound, which is not as easy as it sounds! Glad Albert was OK - but I bet he gave you the stink eye and will blame you for his humiliation until his dying day.

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  68. Well done Winnie! One of mum's Labs, the gentle Suzy, once led her out into the garden and took her to where their cat was expiring in the bushes from pneumonia, and he was duly saved too. Amazing aren't they!

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  69. Oh I feel your pain. No dead bodies but after a long night shift I sneaked in the house so as not to wake anyone and it had just been one of those shifts when I just couldn't be arsed to have a shower or even brush my teeth (I know, I know but I was knackered) I snuggled into bed (fresh, crisp sheets) head sunk into the feather pillow to find
    the Jack Russell had scraped a cling on right across where I had laid my head. The aroma hit me as dog shit has a distinctive smell and I retched my way to the bathroom. Sweet dreams in our house is now "shit dreams" little fucker!

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