Friday, 29 May 2015

What Do You Do When You're Sad?

I've been feeling somewhat sad over the last few days. I'm not unhappy, but I do feel sad and it's not like me at all. I am tired, which doesn't help. Meg, like many old  dogs, seems to be unsettled and restless overnight, and more floor puddles have been appearing in the middle of the night despite a late toileting regime .
I am working nights this weekend which doesn't help either!

When I am sad, I regress to a place of comfort. Some people eat ( I'd kill for a scotch egg just now) others sit in the pub...but for me....comfort comes from the movies. Escapist, stories of other lives and adventures.


My lonely teenage years 
Was filled with big action fantasy high camp disaster movies!

It's a habit that has served me well over the years!

The film of choice today would have been " Jurassic World" dinosaur mayhem and the delightful Chris Pratt with his dimples could have been the ideal panacea a wet Friday's blues but the soddin film doesnt come out until the 15th of June so I had to made do with an online troll for something interesting.

Chris Pratt and big dinosaurs! Bliss!



What I found was a sweet little indie film called " Pitstop" a film that scooped a whole lot of awards from several international film festivals over the last couple of years.
Pitstop tells the story of two middle aged gay men living in the same backwater Texan town. Gabe ( Bill Heck) is a carpenter who lives a quiet existence with his ex wife and daughter. As his wife  now best friend ( Amy Seimetz) embarks on a tentative relationship with a co worker  Gabe's closeted gay life leaves him feeling increasingly lonely as he mourns the loss of a failed relationship with a married man.
Meanwhile across town we see factory worker Ernesto ( Marcus DeAnda)  who finds himself in the death throws of a relationship with the much younger and directionless Luis.
Through a set of understated and not fully explained scenes, the two men lead very drab and
unfulfilled lives , and don't actually meet up together until the very last quarter of the movie, after they hook up on the net. It is only then, quite unexpectedly, that the film suddenly seems full of  hope for the couple who  find themselves part of something that could become rather special.
8/10

What do you do when you're sad?
Answers on a postcard 





78 comments:

  1. Oh John ……. I'm the most happy, glass half full to brimming over person I know but we all feel sad sometimes, don't we ? Perhaps it was your reflection on Finlay that did it.
    Have a Scotch egg …… or five !!!!! I think you need them. Virtual hug !!!! XXXX

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    1. Thanks jac...i am off to bed now...to sleep the afternoon away

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  2. I read under my duvet when I'm sad.
    Enjoy your movies. x

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    1. I wouldn't suggest that to John. I read the comments bottom upwards before I reached yours, and I've just read that he's made sprout soup and is expecting gale force winds tonight - definitely not a good idea to read under the duvet under those circumstances, well, not without a gas mask anyway!!

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  3. I comfort read favourite books . Occasionally if I feel sad I might need a private cry . X

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    1. Me too, I read the Narnia books or The Little White Horse (Elizabeth Goudge), I'm almost 53 and am sad a Lot of the time. x
      Ps The thought of John being unhappy is un-nerving. Anyone got a crude story to make him smile. ;-)

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  4. After reading the start of your post I'm feeling a bit sad too now, J.G. Hope that with you it's just part of the regular mood swigs that beset all we mortals and nothing more.

    I'd never heard of 'Pitstop' but if it ever came to the cinema (fat chance, from the looks of it!) I'd be clambering to get in.

    Don't think I'll be seeing 'Jur. W'. Been terribly put off by the oft-seen trailer which boasts - "From EXECUTIVE PRODUCER Steven Spielberg!" Wow! That bloke who signs the cheques sure must have had a lot of input! Sounds to me rather like a desperate attempt to draw the crowds in. Besides, I'm bored silly by the entire concept of prehistoric creatures being alive again. I'm not especially pulled by your Mr Pratt either. No, 'fraid that when it comes down to it this one falls by the wayside - UNLESS you say it's the greatest film since 'Inception', then I will go.

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    1. Try PITSTOP ray...its a slow burn but very good

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    2. I'll remember it, J.G., but only for if it ever gets to be on TV, perhaps in the early hours, when I'd get out of bed for it.
      I've never rented a film and don't have functioning DVD player. (Poor me! Aw!)

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  5. I knew you were sad last night and my two comments never got sent. I am fucked this morning. My answer is on the blog I suppose, a picture. xxx

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  6. Is this called losing your mojo? If so I was the same for a few days and found myself really disinterested in anything. It passed, I was also tired and had a lot of pain, none of this helps, does it. I think it might be anti-climax, you were so busy with your wedding etc., give your mind and body time to recover. Love Andie xxx

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    1. I'll be fine tomorrow thanks andie x

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  7. Sorry to hear you are in the midst of the 'down and dirties'.....I'm afraid I'm an eater when I'm in 'the dumps. Maybe a good shakeup like redecorating a room or having a 'chuckin' out day' would help a little. Or a new puppy????

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    1. I've walked the dogs, cleaned the house, made soup, shopped, sorted the recycling out, fed the animals now off to bed x

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    2. Hell's bells! No wonder you're sad, you are worn out!!!

      Much love and take a good rest, all well be better.

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  8. Have a quiet cry, then put Beach Boys tracks on as loudly as you can get away with! It's a guaranteed 'pick me up' in my life!
    Hope you're out of the doldrums soon! X

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  9. MUSIC is my go-to. or old "mister rogers neighborhood" or "sesame street" episodes on youtube.

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  10. Books, the garden, the cats, or a toxin relieving sob.
    Look after yourself. Please.

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  11. What do the simple folk do to cheer themselves up when they're blue?
    The shepherd who is ailing, the milkmaid who is glum, the cobbler who is wailing from nailing his thumb...

    I spend three gloriously depressing hours with Vanessa of course - and emerge cried out and feeling so much better.

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    1. They whistle - so they say!

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    2. To thise that dont know " vanessa" bel is refering to the vanessa redgrave, franco nero and richard Harris " threesome" in Camelot

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    3. Crikey I thought she meant Vanessa Feltz I would be all cried out if I had to listen to her for 3 hours. She never seems to take a breath. Sorry your feeling blue, it is probably the come down from all the excitement of the wedding. I have days like this and just relax into them until the sadness lifts and I am back on track. You do seem to do an awful lot could you maybe hire a cleaner?

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  12. For me, I usually try to find something funny, and listen to music that lifts me up. I sometimes have to change what book I am reading, to control the input (I read the most depressing book in the hospital, it was wonderfully written, but a real downer - I paid for it, I finished it - I should have left that one for later.)

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  13. To give myself a pick me up, Dark room, hot chocolate, cozy blanket.... and a LOT of horror movies. Weird, but it works for me.

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  14. I write in my journal to "get it out" and usually turn to food (chocolate covered almonds are my scotch eggs). - Jenn

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    1. I think ive just written my journal

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  15. Writing bad poetry, a good read, a hard cry... and working in my container garden.
    And going to watch The Wizard of Oz on the big screen at a newly restored, and very ornate, theatre here in town.
    It's been a bit of a rough go here since my sister died, but the bad times change just as readily as the good. You feel what you feel, and move on...

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  16. I got to the movies too. I binge watch whole series on Netflix or Amazon prime. I also write on my blog as I tend to be a writer-resolver. Oh right. And I eat cake. But WHY are you feeling sad, dear John? This melancholy mood is with me too, and for no good reason. Going to see Tomorrowland today, as it's at the theater with the red power reclining seats and I can doze if I don't like the movie. I hope you feel better after watching Pitstop. Your review makes me want to look it up.

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  17. I play video games which provide fairly decent escapist fare. They are also a good way to burn away frustration... as well as improving your hand / eye coordination.

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  18. I have got a lot of tactics up my sleeve for sad days after the limitations of over a decade of lyme disease. My main thing is little things, lots of little things. Stopping to watch a bird or see light through a leaf, a cuddle with the dogs or doing some fun tricks with them, cooking a good meal or baking something yummy, watching a funny DVD or a Jane Austen with Hubby, crocheting a funny critter, ticking something off my to-do list so I feel achievy, sitting with a tree, looking up at the sky, listening to my favorite playlist of happy songs. Stuff like that. Taken as one thing, each of those might not be enough but if a day has enough of those little things in it, I get happier.

    And, eat the damned Scotch Egg!

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    1. Only 13 syns on slimming world too!

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    2. Syn shmyn! Everything in moderation. Our Grandmas said it and it still holds true while the trends come and go and this or that becomes good or bad for us in turn.

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  19. I am sorry to hear you feel sad John. Writing about Finlay probably brought up some deep feelings and now you are worrying about Meg too. When I am sad I write poetry or go to sleep or look at music videos on you tube. Try to get some sleep, make yourself a nice nourishing bowl of soup and know that these feelings will pass. It's a horrible day here. Cold, bleak and rainy. If it is the same in Wales no wonder you feel so wretched!!!

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    1. Ive just made " sprout soup" i'll be farting like the queen mary's hooter later!

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    2. Kale soup does the same to me!!

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  20. I make things, actually rather coincidentally mini Scotch Eggs today ... stop drooling. Do you want a couple??

    I'm not sad but there are lots of people in my family that are at the moment and it rubs off if you're not careful, so I'm making food anyway.

    I find it's easy to get sad if you're not eating properly and getting all the nutrients and vitamins that your body needs. Look after yourself, especially if you're on nights this weekend.

    The film sounds good :-)

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    1. What a good neighbor Sue is!!

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  21. Those dimples would cheer me up too. Roll on 15 June and happy, happy, happy!

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  22. Eat chocolate or sup wine. However red wine tends to make me sad the next day. Also the day after returning from holiday I am overwhelmed with sadness

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  23. Watch people dancing and re-enacting all over the world to Pharrell Williams' Happy recordings.

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  24. I had the same reaction to Pit Stop, slow start, slow build, then gently sweet. It resonated a lot since I grew up in small town Texas.
    As for what I do when I'm sad, (do you remember "What Do the Simple Folk Do?" from Camelot?), sometimes I put an ABBA CD in my player and go for a long walk. Bouncy music helps get my body bouncing and that usually bumps my mood. I just have to be careful not to start dancing in the road and causing auto accidents. Or frightening the horses.

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  25. When I am sad I try to figure out what is making me sad, if anything. If I can't figure it out, I look at it face to face and and feel for a while, but not too long. I do not run away from these feelings. I know they will vanish eventually and I realize it is 'nature' doing its balancing act.

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  26. I go for a walk. I keep waking at night for a couple of hours & am very tired so can feel sad quite easily.

    Hope you pick up xx

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  27. Good music, a book, a sit outside ... all seem to help me beat the blues.

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  28. When feeling down or blue, there's nothing better than Monty Python to lift the spirits!

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  29. Books are my movies. Glad you will be better tomorrow; your birthday is coming.

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  30. When I'm sad, I always listen to music. I have loads of CDs that cheer me up instantly when I play them. Music just seems to disrupt the sad feelings and send them packing.

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  31. For day one of a blue funk, I go to bed with a big bowl of popcorn and a good book on my kindle and wallow in being sad. If still blue on day two, I get up and go for a run. Running is almost like meditation for me - the footfalls are a hypnotic metronome that allows my mind to find the place it needs to go. Repeat as needed.

    Hope you find your way out of the sadness.

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  32. My postcard says John that I rarely feel sad. Sometimes I worry about my son, or my grandchildren, but that quickly disappears as really I can't do anything about any problems they may have.
    If I do feel sad then I rely on my darling farmer - who is never, ever, sad to cheer me up.

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  33. Generally I just try to get out and do something, anything... Just DO something... but on occasions I have just resorted to laying in bed, complete mental breakdown, weeks of emotional paralysis, thoughts of suicide, doctor's visits, antidepressants and slow recovery.

    I recommend the former option. Just doing something. Anything.

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    1. And cuddling Albert would help (seeing his lovely image approaching me again, coincidentally, in the sidebar now. I miss my cats (but they caused too many problems and too much hassle for me to get another one). I think I recall Albert is more Chris's pal than yours, but cuddling an appreciative cat can work wonders. Give it a try?

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  34. Listen to music I love or watch a movie. I don't think it is awful to feel sad, sometimes a good cry is what we all need to help our psyche move on and feel a little better. Here is to hoping you leave your melancholia soon.

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  35. Strange you write this today ~ because I was going to write something today about sadness. Thank you for reminding me that I too used to retreat to the cinemas when I was younger. Don't know why I stopped ~ probably rationalising the cost and finding comfort in food instead. Talk to your weight loss counsellor ~ the blues may be just part of this first few weeks of changing habits and diet. And like you say sleep is so important. Hope Meg comes good. I know how stressed I was recently when my aged cat developed a bladder infection. Now, a trip to the George Clooney vet might cheer you too. x

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  36. A vacation. Even if it's just a long weekend, with nice bracing walks and someone else to do the cooking and washing up. Some times all we need is a change of sink!

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  37. You are blessed John, that it's not a lifelong burden. For me, my true joy in life comes from my pets.

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  38. Get round to Sue's and enjoy those Scotch eggs. What's the point in being skinny and miserable? xx

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  39. I remember one time my ex was in one of his drunken raves (which often turned violent, but even if not they would go on for hours, hence stopping me from sleeping). If I had been on my own I would have gone to a hotel (during which time he would have wrecked the place) but I had my kids and couldn't leave. Eventually he stormed off to God knows where and I just sat and cried and cried as I couldn't take it any more. I don't know what made me do it but I googled Mrs. Brown's Boys and the Dara O'Brien show (can't remember the name of it now with the 6 comedians on it) and watched that for aaaaaaggggesss. My jaw hurt so much from laughing afterwards it was the best tonic ever. Anna

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  40. If I'm feeling sad I have to 'get busy'. I make a big pot of soup or I go for a bike ride - fresh air and exercise always makes me feel better.

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  41. I am seldom sad, usually only when a beloved person or animal dies. I just bawl my eyes out for a few days and then move on.

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  42. When I'm sad, I go all out. Look at pictures if that's the problem and have a bleep good hard cry, I even wail.
    Then the storm passes ...

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  43. Ive perked up a little after two scotch eggs
    How wonderful

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  44. John I hope you feel better soon.
    I do think it could be from your Wedding, Birthday, Finley blog and lack of sleep.
    With all my auto immune problems, arthritis, fibromyaligia, I too have sad days.
    I turn on nexflix pick something I want to watch and start working at my latest project, play with The Square Ones, work in my tiny garden and send son to get some take away.
    Plus I just found out I am not getting enough oxygen to my brain at night so that is really affecting me. So I am pinning a lot of hope on a oxygen mask.
    If it is not raining go outside and lay down in the grass and watch the clouds go by. I am sure all your little critters will come next to you for a cuddle.
    Or my best idea is go feed the chickens some left over spaghetti. Blogger Mrs.Nesbitt has shown some video of her chickens eating it and the sounds they make are just so funny.

    cheers, parsnip

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  45. I don't often feel sad, and when I do it's generally easy to pinpoint why. I usually have a cry at some point. If it's not raining or snowing a walk in nature helps; if it's inclement weather I will cook or bake something good. I feel fortunate not to have real depression; it runs in my family and somehow skipped me, but I've seen how hard it is for those who aren't so lucky.

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  46. Pity those cinema goers who went to see "Pit Stop" hoping to watch a film about Formula One racing!
    When I feel sad, I know there's no remedy. I just have to be kind to myself and wait patiently for the blue mood to pass. Like the weather there will by grey sky days along with the sunshine blue and so often you just cannot put your finger on it.

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  47. A walk on the beach is my cure all! But, even that doesn't touch the sadness I have felt since the death of my mother. I just can't seem to get over it. Though, I guess I am getting better since my daily cry has turned into every now and then.

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    1. I'm not sure that people do ever get over the loss of a loved one, whether it's human or animal. We just learn how to live without them is all. My father died Nov. 2013 and I still miss him terribly although like you, it isn't a daily cry any more. I go outside every night and look up at the stars and talk to him. That sounds silly just reading it over, but it helps me.

      Hugs to you.

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  48. Perhaps your feeling a bit sad after all the excitment leading up to the wedding. It's good that you know how to cope with it by watching some movies & distracting yourself from real life temporarily. Maybe it is akin to how I feel about Christmas. I live for the anticipation of the holidays and then as soon as the gifts are opened & festivities over, I always feel sad & let down. I don't think sadness is a bad thing as long as it doesn't stay with you too long. For me, sadness tends to come before a period of change & personal growth. I like to watch movies in bed & try to do something nice for myself like buy fresh flowers or crank up some really good music & quilt. Hope your sadness passes soon, but it does give is time to reflect on where we are in life & consider changes we would like to make for ourselves.

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  49. I read....read, read, read. It's like a movie in your head. Then I lay down for a while and cry and then I go pet the cat. Probably should reverse that order.

    This too shall pass, dear John. Tomorrow you get another chance and you will make the most of it xo

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  50. Sometimes when the grims arrive, I sit back and acknowledge that I am sad. Then I observe -- not analyze, not judge -- how it affects my body, my appetite, my energy level. Just noting what is going on. I don't try to figure out the cause, although it often becomes clear. I find this approach to feelings that threaten to overwhelm me can be sufficient to free me up from them.
    Or not.

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  51. I get sad when I worry, and worry because I am sad.

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  52. Hit the casino. And then get more depressed.

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  53. Watched 'The Birdcage' last night. Way more enjoyable than the new Mad Max - quite a mood lightener too!

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  54. For me tis music.....not songs though cos I would play the kind of songs that would make me feel even more sad. I love to hear Andre Reiu play the Elizabethan Serenade or Blue Danube. check it out on you tube and close your eyes and drift away while you listen.

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