Tuesday, 14 April 2015

Pantyliners and Other Stories

I've been on the doctor/ pharmacy and supermarket run for and with an elderly neighbour this morning.
Not too much stress, just a bit of sitting around reading crap magazines in waiting rooms and a rather irritating moment in Sainsbury's trying to buy just one beefburger!
I had zoned out completely by the time I was waiting for some antibiotics at the chemist, so I found myself standing in front of a set of shelves just staring into space at the multi coloured boxes and packets without actually seeing them.
After a few minutes the lady on the till called over without a hint of irony
" were you AFTER  panty liners sir?"
And with that jolt, I suddenly realised I was in the sanitary towel aisle!
" No.....I'm just looking" I replied without thinking
JUST LOOKING? .......what am I?  a friggin pervert?
I shouldn't be let out in public sometimes


64 comments:

  1. I had an equally embarrassing moment with my 16 year old son in a store looking at some interesting lollipops. Turned out they were condoms . Oh dear ......

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    Replies
    1. Lollipop is a round sweet or lolly with a stick in it . Like a Chuppa Chup. Ps sent you an email re your Aussie holiday xxx

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    2. Btw I heard that male cyclists use large sanitary pads as padding for their nether regions when they go biking .... Not sure if this is a viscous urban myth ....

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  2. The shop assistant had already concluded you were a friggin pervert.x

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    Replies
    1. Well i was wearing my cheap white 1£ soecs from pound
      And

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  3. LOL! That'll teach ya!
    As to what it will teach ya, I have no clue!!
    I am very versed in all things of 'feminine hygiene' having two older sisters who always had me run to the 'drug store'/pharmacy to get something or other.

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  4. Formula 1 driver Nico Rosberg sticks an ultra-max sanitary towel inside his helmet to absorb the sweat from his brow. It's very manly, don't you know? Try a few under the woolly hat this summer?

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    Replies
    1. Which side do i stick to me?

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    2. Eh the non sticky side, at least non sticky to begin with, the point being to absorb sweat, so you don't sticlk any side to you, but sticky side to inside of hat. Ask the shop assistant for guidance if you don't undertand

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  5. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sgMl-iZ3tZM

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  6. The hubs has been known to do the same thing...I try to keep him away from those aisles.

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  7. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i5i9RKqJiII

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    Replies
    1. Are you the pantyliner queen?

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  8. 'Tis a tough life for those of us prone to spacing out in public places.

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  9. bwhahahahahahahaha! honesty is the best policy, john!

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  10. Thanks for making me laugh, John.

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  11. Should' ve said you were looking for manpons, that would have shut her up!

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    Replies
    1. Lol what on earth is a manpon?

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    2. I first heard the term on a late night comedy show. Perhaps it would be better if you googled it..😁

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  12. And I just spit coffee on my keyboard!

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    Replies
    1. Pantyliners Bob are very absorbent!

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  13. Laughing from the other side of the pond, John!

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  14. I was waiting to ask a question of an art prof. He was in conversation with a man who was sitting on a stool. I was zoning out, as one does, and when I finally focused i was staring at the naked model's crotch.

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  15. If you were after panty liners she had no business shouting out about it anyway! Maybe you should have bought some for Winnie. :-)

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    Replies
    1. They dont make em big enough

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  16. You are perfectly welcome in my neighborhood anytime, we will even let you out in public without supervision.

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    Replies
    1. Generally i am well behaved.....well generally

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  17. If she takes it any further then send the authorities to us lot - we'll stick up for you.

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  18. It's the bra browsers in Marks that freak me out! Creepy.

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    Replies
    1. One of the first signs of Alzheimer's in my dear old departed Dad (we realised in retrospect) was the day he got lost in the ladies lingerie section in Debenhams and when we finally found him all confused and being questioned by suspicious sales assistants he claimed he was looking for cheese. None of us could believe him, but now we do. Sad and funny at the same time.

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    2. John should have told the cashier he was looking for the Scotch eggs, poor dear.

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    3. Bra browsers?
      Please explain?

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    4. Andrew..........here's hoping i wont turn into a bra chaser

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  19. Ha ha! On the other hand, you actually COULD have been buying for someone else. It happens!

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    Replies
    1. Indeed. I have been sent out to buy tampons and I did not feel it necessary to point out that they were not for me.

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  20. Best laugh of the night.

    It's the way you tell em :-)

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  21. You could easily have been looking with practical ideas for them on your mind. A certain jowly hound might benefit from their absorbent properties for example.

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    Replies
    1. She's worn a pair of Chris white underpants once with a lining of kitchen towel

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  22. With all the adverts that are on tv now, I shouldn't worry about it.
    Briony
    x

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  23. Daft bat you are sometimes! lol x

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    Replies
    1. Yoda couldnt of said that better

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  24. Dying Laughing Out Loud!

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  25. Pmsl..... But then I'm at that funny age

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  26. Oops. Zoning out in public can be dangerous.

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  27. I'm sure they've seen worse there, much worse. At least you weren't sniffing them. Were you?

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  28. apparently there is some funny girl on you tube who cuts the ends off panty liners and puts them under her eyes to catch falling drifts of eyeshadow. apparently panty liners are cheaper than the product designed for the job.
    there's a world of weirdness out there but you are not a part of it

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  29. I took a chainsaw class geared for women, and our instructor told us we ought to have a first aid kit with us every time we use a chainsaw. He explained about making a tourniquet and said to sop up the blood, sanitary pads work well; you could tell he'd given the talk any number of times because he didn't blush when he had to mention them, but then he realised he'd just addressed a group of women who, um, may have had firsthand experience knowing that they do absorb fluid....

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  30. " I took a chainsaw class geared for women"

    The best line of the night

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  31. It is amazing that Welsh Sainsburys have whole aisles devoted to panty liners! What are the leek aisles like? How did women of the past - say in medieval or even Victorian times - cope without panty liners? Perhaps they used dock leaves instead.

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  32. Should have come back with "Do I look like I got a mappa tassie?

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  33. The sky is grey today and I just read the post of a lady with cancer. Then I happened to read your post. It gave me a chuckle – the funniest post I read this week. Thank you, life is good again.

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  34. That is so darn funny. Thank you

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  35. Superb. Any time I can get a free belly laugh I feel the world wins.

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  36. Bahahahahaha of course you were browsing in the pantyliner aisle!!!!

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