Monday, 13 April 2015

I Need One .......I Want One........GIMME ONE YOU BITCH!

It's been four weeks since I've had a bit
Four weeks of abstinence.
For a month , I've not touched one, caressed one......enjoyed one
I've been strict with myself....saying that I can cope without the indulgence
How wrong was I to say such a thing.
At 1800 yesterday, I was 90% of a way through a hospital shift when I spied a visitor eating a mini scotch egg.
I could of cried.
I said to my colleagues that I could have killed a nun for such a morsel and all they could dowas to shrug their shoulders.
No one knows a scotch egg addict than another scotch egg addict eh?
Anyhow I battled on
After I got home, I walked the dogs, kissed my husband and then went to Sams for a shift
At 12.45 am   I told my co worker that if I couldn't find a scotch egg I would die
" stop off at the service station in Rhyl on the way home " they suggested
I stopped even though the place was deserted
The service station was only open to payments through a small metal slot..so I begged the spotty youth on duty to find me a scotch egg as quick as he could
" I think we only have only have individual pork pies" he chirped obviously unaware that I was about to kill him
" I need a scotch egg" I begged " just the one......please go and look again!"
He did....thank God
After an age he returned with two scotch eggs in individual wrappers
" one expired yesterday" he said helpfully
" I don't care" I shouted, " bung 'em through the slot"
They tasted like cardboard nectar
Don't tell the Prof
The Roger Eyebrow would be raised well above his head

Bet Roger Moore never said Hey ho
Hey ho




80 comments:

  1. Ooh John I know what you mean when you just have a craving to eat something and only that one thing will satisfy ....

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    1. I know... Im a naughty girl

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  2. FOUR WEEKS - I am impressed!

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    1. 29 days but whose counting?

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  3. Huh, now you have me curious about Scotch Eggs, never had one. I can somewhat relate, when I see a duck I have a desire to kill and eat.
    How's your LDL? Maybe they should have a statin in the middle near the yolk.....

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    1. Hasnt research debunked the myth about fresh eggs and cholesterol ?

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    2. It has been proved for definite!! We can all eat as many eggs as we want with no damage to our cholesterol levels, it was proved yonks ago but kept quiet, that our body's own cholesterol and the cholesterol that is found in foods do NOT affect each other.

      And don't get me started on statins. In the future they will be proved to have caused much more damage to everyone that took them than any good effects they are supposed to have.

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    3. Well said that woman

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    4. Sue/John
      Alas, that is not what the study has shown. It seems we can eat up to an egg a day without significantly raising total cholesterol. Unless, a big unless, you are diabetic. One egg has approx. 190mg of cholesterol, the total recommended intake is 300mg. That leaves 120mg for other food (meat, any fats, dairy, etc).
      I don't want to rain on anyone's parade, but them's the facts.
      Or, we can be like the US GOP........'don't bother me with facts!'.

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  4. Sometimes you need what you need.

    cheers, parsnip

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  5. I'd say that this post made me curious as to what the heck a Scotch egg is, but frankly, I'm prone to addiction and don't need another bad habit.

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    1. Katy.......check them out...............a blissful mixture of 1970 food and ambrosia

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  6. Sshhh! I will never tell.

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  7. I gunna have to try one of these scotch eggs and see what all the fuss is about. Now where to find them in Sydney?

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    1. I hear they are available down under! Let me know where you find them

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  8. Surely Chris has a similar addiction you can leverage?

    "Bung 'em through the slot" made me smile!

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    1. Chicken flavoured crisps

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  9. Lady Magnon has just returned from blighty, and brought me a LARGE MELTON MOWBRAY PORK PIE. I am in heaven.

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    Replies
    1. How much have you eaten already?

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    2. This sent me to Google to find out how a Melton Mowbray pork pie differed from the common or garden variety of pork pie. Now I am enlightened!

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  10. This sounds pretty damn serious. Maybe you should consider counselling - with you as the 'client', I mean.

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  11. Love the way you write about your husband, and glad that the youth, spots and all, managed to find you a scotch egg. It is, after all, a reasonably healthy addiction...... as addictions go. Vx

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    Replies
    1. Finally a voice of sanity

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  12. Can't you make some from weight watchers sausages and take the yolk,out? If I were closer I'd leave some on the cottage wall for you. I have done a lot of research into HC and am of the opinion that diet alone makes very little difference.

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  13. It's time someone made a low fat, low cal scotch egg, just for you, but chances are, it wouldn't be worth eating!

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    1. Sounds like shit

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    2. It would be, even if you are on a diet DO NOT eat anything 'low fat'. Our bodies NEED fat they do not needs excess carbohydrates.

      Low fat foods are full of sugars and additives, they have to be put in because as you say low fat foods taste like shit!!

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  14. Are you sure you're not pregnant?

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  15. Naughty boy! Cant say I am fond of scotch eggs, they always seem a bit dry ( not that I can remember when I last had one) The best treat of that ilk was many years ago when I used to work in a bank that was next to a " Walkers" butcher shop in Leicester. If they had just had a delivery of pork pies they were often still warm from the oven…….delicious!

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    1. Im partial to a pork pie...........but i have to be in the mood

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  16. My son-in-law had one of those warm ones with the runny centre in a posh restaurant. His eyes still mist over when he talks about it.

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    1. Oh be still my beating heart

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  17. Surely one a month won't hurt. I'm a great believer in 'a little of what you fancy', or in my case it's usually a lot!

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  18. Omg I would kill for a British scotch egg or even a British Melton Mowbray pork pie.....but I am too fat anyway so that is that... but wtf has Roger Moore done to his face? Upside down facelift???

    Jo in Auckland, NZ

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    1. He looks like a blood hound

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  19. OMW John, I'm impressed at four weeks' abstinence! And pleased you didn't have to murder a service station attendant to still your craving. BTW I was sure the photo was of Pres Nixon until you said Roger Moore! xx

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  20. Now if, like me, you lived in the land of the Great Cornish Pasty, you'd be right to cut down - but Scotch Eggs? They are part of your protein and carb essentials, surely? What does a learned Professor know about diet anyway . . . .

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  21. It is common for addicts to burgle houses, shoplift or sell their bodies in order to feed their habit. Which will you choose? I have heard that there's a scotch egg rehab centre in Chester or perhaps you should phone The Samaritans to talk through your addiction. They may advise some cold turkey instead.

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    1. Shoplift at marks and spencers
      They do scotch eggs to die for
      You do make me larf

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  22. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  23. I've found a recipe for gluten-free scotch eggs. I'll have to give it a go. I haven't had a scotch egg since the 70s!

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  24. We all have lapses sometimes - forget it and soldier on. But steer clear of that placw where you bought it!

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  25. Hi John. Glad to see we have a lot in common. Will Power, we both have it, but the thing we lack is Won't Power. Enjoy yourself.

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  26. Now John, with your delicious fresh eggs, how can you stomach the piffling commercial versions? Some pork mince and sausage meet kneaded together, fresh herbs, a freshly soft boiled egg from the Ukranian Village, shallow fried, absolutely heavenly bliss.
    And this, btw, is why the poor spotty youth cowers behind his slot. Rampant Scotch Eggs addicts have been known to get quite violent in search for a fix. ;-)

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  27. There are worse things you could be begging a spotty youth for at a service station for at 1:00 AM, you do know that 30 years from now he will be writing about this desperate man in the middle of the night.

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    1. He was laughing like a drain

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  28. Oh Gawd ... it's official you are ADDICTED.

    If I'm ever in your vicinity I'll MAKE you a scotch egg and bring it with me. Our little Pekin eggs make the most divine scotch eggs with their huge yolks and small whites. Wrapped in a skinned sausage, rolled in crispy breadcrumbs and oven baked to keep those pesky calories at bay, they must be healthy ....mustn't they.

    Hehe ... have I got you drooling yet?

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    1. .......like a dripping tap....

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  29. I just had a visitor from South Dakota. He's a chef. He LOVES Scotch eggs. And he tried to tell me his special recipe. Sorry I didn't take it down for you, but that would be like cooking.

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    1. Finally an American who KNOWS scotch eggs! The word is spreading!

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  30. glad to hear it was just scotch eggs that you were wanting...I am like that with chocolate!

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  31. Sometimes you just gotta have one.

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    1. A girl after my own heart

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  32. Try allowing one a month. We always yearn for what we can't have. This way you can look forward to that deliciousness and you won't over do.

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    1. Thats EXACTLY what I have done......i think i was a few hours over the deadline

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  33. I have no idea what that scotch egg is, but i know exactly what it feels like to want something and not be able to get it unless someone "bungs it through the slot" as it were.

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    1. Ohhh errrr missus
      A scotch egg is a full meal............in one ball of fun

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  34. I can't believe that someone was actually eating a scotch egg in front of you. I have never seen a person eating a scotch egg! Do you like the mini sized eggs too or just the BIG ones? I quite fancy a scotch egg myself now - haven't eaten one for years. A little side salad, new potatoes and a glass of wine to wash it down would be good too. :-)

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    1. The visitor was in the relatives sitting room.......so not too bad

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  35. I had to google scotch egg. I've heard reference to it by you many times and figured it was something that involved an egg which is correct I see and that served me well up to this point. But hearing how much you like them made me curious to see exactly what they are all about. I can see where a person would find them tasty.

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    1. I am spreading the scotch egg message across the world
      A savoury Messiah

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  36. I think you should make a few for yourself, too, John. If I can make them, you can, certainly. Now that it's been mentioned, I suppose I should make some. They are quite filling.

    I tried them warm and cold; I prefer them warm.

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    1. I think i just got my gob ready for one..........i wont have another fir weeks now.....the prof is making me guilty

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  37. John, if they were small enough to bung through the slot, they don't count for anything.

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  38. Be strong, John. Be strong.

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  39. Professors require hard data; show that husband of yours just how happy they make you...
    He'll schedule regular Scotch egg feasts for you.

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    1. He's seen my hard data on many occassion!

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  40. This got me at 'spotty youth'!!! That would have turned me off any food!! I know, shame on me!!
    Happy you are happy and that you satiated your addiction....for now.

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    1. I was so ready for my scotch egg, i couldnt have been bothered if he had the plague

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  41. You are too funny sir ! I totally understand, my pregnancy craving were potatoes in any form. One day I had crisps at lunchtime and a bag of chips, then phoned my Mum and begged her for roasties and mash when we went round for dinner that evening. No wonder I gave birth to a 10lb baby (strangely he wouldn't eat potatoes when he went onto solids :)
    Twiggy x

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  42. a scotch egg....A SCOTCH EGG.....My Kingdom for a SCOTCH EEGGGGGGG!!!!!!!

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