Saturday, 14 February 2015

Savage Rabbits


Pat ( Weaver of Grass) left a comment on yesterday's blog which went a little like this
  1. Oh John - what I love about you is how you manage to make every little episode and incident such fun. Bon voyage Cecil - and you never know what life has in store for you in the future (Cecil i mean, not you!)
    ReplyDelete
I wanted to reply that it runs in the family....this is an abridged part of an email sent to me by my twin sister Janet, who recently got savaged by a rabbit at the pets shop in which she works
It make hilarious reading. I hope she doesn't mind me re printing it

"How are you ...thought I'd message you and share what happened to me yesterday ......Ha ha !
Picture the scene .....half asleep ( at just after 7am ) dressed for action........rubber gloves ...plastic apron on.... I start my clean out .....2 hamsters and one guinea pig down ......its Spikes turn ...he's a rabbit ....a rather gorgeous one ( lion head cross)and one of my favourites ...at least he was ! Now Spike has been getting rather frisky of late with my plastic shovel. ......he bites down on it and shakes it ...hormones I suspect and boredom !

Only yesterday he bit down hard on the fleshy part of my thumb.......I howled in pain and rather ashamedly hit him over the head with my plastic shovel !! Only then did he let go !!
My glove filled with blood ..... I remembered thinking at least it means I won't have to mop the floor.......no spillages there ! Ha ha ......fuck it hurts !
I hot footed it to the office where Ben our supervisor was .......and laughingly demanded he gave me some first aid !
His first reaction was to get a plaster out of the first aid box .....his next reaction was oh shit ! Blood everywhere !
By this time I had started to get very hot and felt sick.............next thing I remembered was thinking how did I get on the floor and how nice and cold it was !! And what the fuck was Ben doing ....oh yeah he's putting me in a recovery position .......hmm nice ......just stay here a while ......what's he saying ...oh shit he's calling for an ambulance ...oh god no !
I don't need one of those ! Really weird hearing everything but not being able to move .....why's he shouting and throwing the phone .....its not working .....enter our cleaner who doesn't speak much English and it's his first day on the job ! Bens ordering him to get the phone out of the groomers and I can hear Ben asking for an ambulance !!
By this time I'm doing my best to move and yes !!  Result ! He's telling the operator I'm coming round ......I'm trying to sit up and tell him I don't want or need a fucking  ambulance when the cleaner comes back into the office to inform me a hamster have escaped .....thanks .....but can't you see I'm rather busy at the moment !
Anyhow a nurse called me back ...I had to phone ned to take me to hospital to get checked over and get some antibiotics ! Returned to work ...finished the clean out

55 comments:

  1. Laughing my head off - knowing you both, I can live the stories! Keep em coming, highlight of the day :-) Nx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I haven't forgotton we need to skype!

      Delete
  2. that was indeed funny..........

    ReplyDelete
  3. Wonderful - it reads like a Wallace and Grommit precise.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's in the genes

      Delete
    2. Ferrets are in the jeans.

      Delete
    3. Oh, you have Ardmanised your photo now, making my original comment seem twatish.

      Delete
    4. Revenge will be mine...

      Delete
  4. I think she needs to do a few guest posts. Hope she is much better.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She writes well doesn't she?

      Delete
  5. Brilliant! But apart from you and your sister how many others in your family, and where do they live so I can stay well clear!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My elder sister is just as funny....as was my brother

      Delete
  6. fantastic!
    the ability to tell a great story is way under rated

    ReplyDelete
  7. I like the cleaner coming in best and saying a hamster has escaped.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good comic timing

      Delete
    2. I like that she finished the cleaning; shows dedicattion to the job.

      Delete
  8. It's in the genes!! lol

    ReplyDelete
  9. But what I want to know is, what happened to the escaped hamster?

    ReplyDelete
  10. It would appear it DOES run in the family..at least Cecil didn't bite you.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Great, now I'm worried about her brother getting bit by a badger and waking up prostrate in the field with Bingley making advances.

    ReplyDelete
  12. is spike a killer rabbit with big nasty teeth?

    ReplyDelete
  13. If its a full moon it was a Wererabbit?

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0312004/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks sol for the idea x

      Delete
  14. A bit like a Monty Python skit, and it is your life.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Or the way me and Janet see it!

      Delete
  15. So funny, you both have a way with words

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We inherited the ability from my mother

      Delete
  16. That was hilarious! Indeed you must have inherited your comic ability from your mother... I have just realised you both are Janet and John!

    Jo in Auckland, NZ

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As in the books!

      Delete
    2. I loved Janet and John books when I was learning to read... I read very quickly as a child... often my teachers didn't believe I read what I said I did... much to my frustration. I took home chapter books and devoured them... my mother had to go to the school to vouch for me.

      Jo in Auckland, NZ

      Delete
  17. Wabbits can have nasty teeth. Smart little devils too; they do know the difference between a plastic shovel and and hand that wields it. He may not want told on in future; Janet need watch her back. We need more stories.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Well told, Janet! Yes, John, it seems to be genetic!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Yeah, you're related.

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
  20. Good humor gets you through rabbit attacks and many more disasters.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Who said it was a quiet life in the country?! I love your adventures!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Did you end up telling Janet you posted that?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes......I may well have to pull it if she wants privacy

      Delete
  23. I was going to ask if there was a full moon the night before because the attack of the Wererabbit !

    cheers, parsnip

    ReplyDelete
  24. That is funny ! I would expect nothing less from your twin sister !

    ReplyDelete
  25. I'd have hit the rabbit with the plastic shovel too ! great story xx

    ReplyDelete
  26. Has Janet got a blog? She is the female version of you John!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She wrote a serious blog a year or two back
      See
      http://supportingandrew.blogspot.co.uk

      Delete
  27. Who knows what antics Cecil might get up to once he settles in. Thanks for the mention above. I agree it does seem to be that adventures run in your family. Is Chris well aware of this before the big day??

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Any have a progress reports on the beast with two peckers?

      Delete
  28. Janet has got to do the occasional guest spot on your blog!
    Hope she is feeling less sore by the way. xx

    ReplyDelete
  29. She has my sympathy...I look after my neighbour's 6 rabbits when she goes on holiday...they are not just the cute furry creatures people may believe, but are cunning and fully prepared to bite now and again if it helps them to escape! If I was kept in a hutch, probably I would too!

    ReplyDelete
  30. Blimey, you lot don't do anything by halves, do you??lol Happy Sunday to you. x

    ReplyDelete
  31. Now that was an exciting work day! Any final medical verdict as to why the woozies?

    ReplyDelete
  32. Haha! I have warned my four rabbits what will happen if they try the same thing...

    ReplyDelete
  33. Haha! I have warned my four rabbits what will happen if they try the same thing...

    ReplyDelete
  34. "We can't risk another frontal assault, that rabbit's dynamite!"

    ReplyDelete
  35. I learnt to read with Janet and John .... but their stories were much tamer and less hysterical ... if I remember correctly.

    I prefer yours and your sisters, you should write a book.

    ReplyDelete
  36. She's wasted confining her anecdotes to emails. You must persuade her to blog.

    ReplyDelete

I love comments and will now try very hard to reply to all of them
Please dont be abusive x