Tuesday, 2 December 2014

Flouncing For Wales


Sometimes the only way to go is to indulge yourself in a flounce
The ward sister at work asked me to do one too many things at 6 am on a bloody awful night shift
And I threw myself rather energetically into a flounce that would have 
gotten the thumbs up from Scarlett O'Hara
I was in such an uncharacteristically bad mood
I could have quite easily bitch slapped a nun
I blame it all on this cold, which is kind of lingering
Anyhow

I fell asleep in the chair when I got home 
Watched over by one very anxious face
And
The only people I have seen today is my sister who called off to off me a new hen house
And a collegue from work who wanted to rehome 2 hens 
which he had placed in an oversized sharps box
After they had gone 
I took myself upstairs and flounced on the bed
" fiddle de dee"


81 comments:

  1. EVERYONE is entitled to a good flounce once in a while. Especially when one has a cold. Take care of yourself.
    Lee Anna

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    1. Lee Anna
      Cracking name btw

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  2. Flouncing is underrated, and when done only occasionally really drives the point home.

    I missed a perfect flouncing opportunity the other week and chose instead to be truculent and vocal. A flounce would have answered perfectly. I must remember to put the flouncing in my toolbox.

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    Replies
    1. Have a practicer ugly now....get " into the groove"

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  3. My temper (which rarely flares BTW) gets the best of my flounces!

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    Replies
    1. An angry flounce may be the answer

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  4. Remind me to practise these again, the very last time I tried, (with a sulky lover) my robe got caught in the door on the way out of the bedroom, there is nothing worse than having to pause mid-flounce and open the slammed door and untangle yourself.
    XO
    WWW

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    1. The trick to complete a good flounce
      Is
      1) not to bump into anything mid flounce
      2) not to catch yourself out and start laughing
      3) flounce without an audience

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  5. Strangely, even with my theatrical temperament, it is my husband who does the flounce.

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    1. Does he do it in a camp way?

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  6. A flounce is good medicine for that cold. And the best flounce is when you're alone. Take care of yourself! xx

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  7. Ha ha flouncetastic, a well timed flounce is always good. We had hysterics at our 9 year old recently as he proclaimed he'd been playing an online game with a friend and got so mad he `rage quit', do you think that's techno speak for a flounce? it certainly looked like one.
    Hope you are soon feeling better, the doggy picture is magic.
    Twiggy

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  8. It is all I can do to not break into my computer and reach in and give your Guardian a hug and tell her all is just find.
    I find myself doing that more and more with Watson.

    cheers, parsnip

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  9. In any moment of crisis I ask myself: "What would Scarlett do?" Works every time.

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    1. Hummmm there's a lot I can say to that but I won't x

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  10. I flounced once....left the building and everything...it was wonderful! but as I threw a lot of filing in the air before doing it I have spent an awful lot of years since feeling guilty about it!! and John I am so upset at your mouse remark over at mine...am I really doomed to lots and lots of the buggers??

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    1. Well.....if you don't jump on them quick....yes xx

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  11. It's a good idea to catch yourself out and start laughing!
    Who could resist that little furry face (an even more magnificent moustache than Chris? No...only joking!) Hope the cold is better soon...and you have a night off tonight.

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    Replies
    1. I'm re watching the walking dead finale tonight...on full blast as chris is away

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  12. I flounced out of the house and then realised my car keys were still in the house, flouncing into somewhere doesn't really work

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    Replies
    1. Yes that should be rule 4
      Never return too quickly after a major flounce

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  13. I flounced out of the front room last week. After 10 minutes in the kitchen I decided he hadn't noticed so I sailed back into the front room, the voice from behind the newspaper said 'That wasn't one of your better flounces'

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    Replies
    1. Rule 5. A flounce HAS to be noticed!

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  14. o my god that beautiful fuzzy face

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  15. Nothing like a good flounce now and again. Too much politeness and flexibility rots the soul.

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  16. If bitch slapping a nun is wrong, then I don't wanna be right.

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    Replies
    1. My nun comment was more dramatic than the flounce itself

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  17. No point flouncing in my house, all I get is raised eyebrows and a slow shake of the head!! Now that makes me want to bitch slap that old nun!!
    Love, love, love the concerned doggy pic BTW.

    Jo in Auckland, NZ

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  18. Flounce away. Sometimes a good flounce is just what the doctor should order.

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  19. Nothing like the occasional surprise flounce! Usually mine are as a result of being a hormonal hostage. The furry face is just heartmelting and would wash away all anger. Love the idea of the double jaggy chicken supper, that needed fed itself!

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    1. I was asleep for an hour.... And I know she would have sat like that...all that time

      She's breaks my heart

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  20. Some days nothing helps but a good hissy fit.

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  21. Nothing's so satisfying as a good flounce!

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  22. When there's no other recourse then let er rip! good for the soul if nothing else, John. And I just bet the sister learned something too.

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    1. She learned Ican be a twat sometimes

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  23. Flouncing would be the perfect alternative to swearing and throwing things, but in the heat of the moment it's always the airborne hammer and the flurry of obscenities that wins through. Pity - a good flounce would make a change.....

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    1. Bet you have never flounced Dave?

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    2. Not that I recall, and I just know that if I tried I'd ruin it by tripping over or walking into the door. Maybe I should practise in private before wheeling out a flounce in front of an audience. Who knows, it might be liberating...

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    3. You need teaching by a gay sith
      Just shout loudly and make a scene

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    4. Hmm... maybe I'll stick to swearing and throwing hammers, and content myself with watching 'Priscilla - queen of the desert' again ;-)

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  24. Missing your Better Half, methinks? x

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    Replies
    1. He's been away a great deal recently nana x

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  25. I can do a pretty good flounce... and I add, "That's fine!"

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  26. I fear that I am too fat to flounce, alas. I am better at throwing things. Oh that sweet furry face. Dear Meg, she is a heart-breaker.

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    Replies
    1. Judith...... Just wanted you to know that you are officially my longest commentator xxxxxx

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    2. An honour and a pleasure, dear John! XXX back at ya!

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  27. Best flounce ever if Bridget Jones when she gives Daniel a mouth full and flounces out! Havent we all wanted to do that?

    Unfortunately I am a foot stamper and slammer. I cant help it.

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    1. I am almost married to a door slammer x

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  28. John, you need to hold a 'Flounce Off'...........amongst your readers.

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  29. Replies
    1. Whatever thomas?

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    2. Don't worry - I said the same to the mad woman in Norfolk, so I thought I would balance it out by saying the same to you.

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  30. "Bitch-slapped a nun" might be one of the best things I've ever read on a blog. Or, well, anywhere.

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    1. Being "bitch-slapped BY a nun" though... that runs it close as a phrase. An Italian nun on a night-train from Bologna to Paris once gave me a look that felt like I was being bitch-slapped by her. She disapproved of myself and my lady (future wife), but I was 21, my rather newly acquainted young lady was 20, it was not far off 40 years ago... sharing a rocking carriage on a long and long lost night with a nun... Thanks for stirring up a memory

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    2. I have known many women who were slapped by nuns in their schooldays as children. I was about to say it's not funny, but then I realised that it is.

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  31. I'm a nurse who worked the night shift for about 20 yrs......I remember having a flounce or two myself...LOL! A good flounce cleanses the mind and soul! Go for it!

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    1. Your comment has more weight than any other xx

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    2. Used sparingly though... A flounce only has a big effect if the cause of it is somewhat shocked by it, rather than just thinking "oh there he/she goes again".

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    3. 'She', in John's case. (flounce).

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  32. One has to love that hairy doggy face, one just has to (although in real life I could resist it if it came fresh from a gravy-laden dogfood bowl, I suspect).

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    Replies
    1. Andrew.
      She's soo needy it hurts
      You would love her believe me

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  33. We all have our tipping point, and you came home to unconditional love and people who need you.

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  34. In some ways I am a very good flouncer, but the fact that I usually trip over something or slam a door so hard it opens again and I burst out laughing ...... means in some ways I am also a very BAD flouncer!!

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  35. Flouncing takes some grace and great clothes. But I am sure you could pull it off in hospital greens.

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  36. I know I'd look ridiculous flouncing so I don't even try. I go very, very quiet instead!

    Meg is a sweetheart. That look would melt a person.

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  37. Can I pull off a good flounce in my classroom. Wonder what the students would think. Might be good for them.

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  38. Meg is so cute! What are the ages of the different pups and Albert?

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    1. Meg is 9' william and George are 7 Winnie is around 5 and Albert is approx 7

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  39. HMPH! you gotta add the "Hmph!" for a good flounce....

    "Hmph; Def. 1. Said when expressing apathy towards something
    2. Used to acknowledge something you dislike/disagree with
    3. Said after doing something to say it was easy/pointless"

    Otherwise, you keep flouncing on, brother! Someone's got to put them in their place...

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  40. I suspect no-one does a flounce better than you John, although that dog is having a jolly good try.

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    1. Everything - well almost everything - Mr Gray learnt about flouncing he learnt from Bel Ami. And I was trained by Scarlett.

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  41. You need to rest ......you'll flounce much better!

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  42. Waking up to that dog would put me in a better mood! Adorable!

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  43. Flounce away my friend.
    Meg is a love.
    Also, am I right to believe Winnie flounces?

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  44. After a particularly self-serving day from The Fuckwit I just crept and wept.
    Haven't got the energy to tell the whole story, just that it is a rough time at the mo.
    Besides, you can't carry off The Flounce with a snotty nose.
    Susan x

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  45. Well, I hope you won't worry about it. After all, tomorrow is anothah day.

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