Thursday, 11 December 2014

Be Careful When You FaceTime


When I was schlepping in the mud , feeding chickens and filling the water butts Chris left me several messages on FaceTime and on the land line to call him at work. All the exercise and cold air made me have a sudden need " for the loo" so killing two birds with one stone, I grabbed my iPad  and pressed the FaceTime button just seconds after resting my fat arse on the bog seat.
Well.......knowing each other for so long, the sight of the fiancée " on the throne" is no longer a shocking event!
So.......I shall now publicly apologise to one very chicly  dressed Professor Malone , who was standing serenely  behind Chris' left shoulder when my FaceTime image flashed it's way over the Internet!
Hey ho.....

88 comments:

  1. Hahahahahahah! Brilliant.

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  2. You are in big trouble.x

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    1. She was laughing when I turned the camera to the ceiling , I think

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  3. I have had ordinary phone conversations with the Daughter when the strain in her voice betrayed her.

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    1. Oh lord.... Too much info

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    2. Speak for yourself!

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  4. Face Time? They'll have to rename it Arse Time for country bumpkins like you! How awful for Lady Jo - she must have been mortified!

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    1. Or strangely aroused?

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    2. Yes. I forgot that most women are turned on by the sight of a man having a good dump. Forget the flowers and the chocolates.

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    3. If the sight of men taking a dump is arousing, then surely a fart must be the sweet breath of love?

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    4. Am I really reading this?

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    5. You are, aren't you glad?

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  5. I was just thinking how far we have come from the first "video phones" to video chat. When "video phones" were first demonstrated, people reacted in horror that there are times when you just don't want to be seen when you answer the phone.

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    1. I adore face time...cos it's free!

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    2. We use Google video chat, almost every day, also free. It really helps when Jay is teaching, 440 miles away 26 weeks out of the year.

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  6. The polite thing to do would have been to wave - with your other hand.

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    1. There was a toilet roll in it!

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    2. Should have waved the toilet roll at her...

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  7. Oh John, you do make me smile :o) Thank You x

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  8. Doing a quick blogging during working hours is not deemed correct so when I sneaked a read of your post and sniggered aloud - I had to quickly turn it in to a coughing and spluttering fit - thank you - you just made my day!

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    1. Don't your I T dept check your memory?
      Well going gently sounds innocuous I guess

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    2. *snort* Not today it doesn't!!!

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    3. Alison, you made me spray tea all over my monitor. Well done!

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  9. I was in right in the middle of eating my lunch, but was not put off by the thought of your bum on the 'seat', well not much anyway!

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    1. Vera...you are made of sterner stuff..... My arse wouldn't put you off!

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  10. You were aiming the camera at your face, weren't you?

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    1. I hope so Dave... I hope so

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  11. Ah, yet again you got me laughing out loud. Thanks for that.

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  12. I'm only surprised that this hasn't happened before.

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    1. Errrrrrrrr. No comment

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  13. I'm not the least bit surprised!

    I was talking to a friend one day and suddenly I realized she was "doing her business" so I said "You're in the bathroom aren't you?" and she said "NO! no way. I never bring the phone in the bathroom." and then, 2 minutes later, I heard the sound of a flushing toilet!

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    1. I am breathing a huge sigh of relief....... I am obviously not the only one

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  14. Hmmm and there was I reading your previous blog and thinking 'No of course John doesn't share too much on social media'........ oh well it'll be great content for the wedding speeches.

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  15. oh sweet mother of pearl! you have me snorting so loud here at the office that my boss wondered what's so funny. I am trying to picture your bum on the loo...

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    1. Try not to............not unless you have a strong stomach

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  16. LOL! and LOL! again and again, I have a vivid imagination and my thoughts at the time were very vivid! I'd got tears of laughter running down my face at this.THANKS for making my day! xxx

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  17. Once again you have brightened my day! Thankyou :D

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  18. Reminds me of the early days of cell phones. I was on the phone with a friend as I walked the aisles of an art show, checking on my intended purchase. Nature called, I walked into an adjacent bathroom and into a stall, phone still to ear. It was a phone like a brick--remember those. I said "Oh, no, I'm in the bathroom and can't figure out how to do this!" because I couldn't figure out how to manage the phone and my clothes at once. Then an entire audience of women burst into laughter. I guess bathroom conversations are more common these days.

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    1. I just KNEW that I wouldn't be the only old duffer with a good toilet story!

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  19. I shall not tell my toilet stories but I surely enjoyed yours!

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    1. Go on Gail
      No ones listening

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  20. I went to the loo in the middle of the night (pitch black living where we are) and didn't put any lights on. Just as I was lowering myself on to the toilet seat, my husband said "I'm on the toilet"! Just as well it was dark and he didn't get a close up view of my rear end.

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    1. The prize for the best blog entry reply so far today it's susam M
      Congratulations xx

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    2. Oh if only you had peed on him Susan.

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    3. Susan, hilarious! I'm not one to easily shriek with laughter, but this did it :)

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    4. Laughing out loud here! What a great story.

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  21. This is funny because of the post about a complete stranger knowing too much information.
    Oh John you do make me laugh !

    cheers, parsnip

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    1. I make chris cry......frequently

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  22. Humble pie for dinner tonight?

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  23. Somehow this sounds positively normal in 'John's World'!!

    I hope Chris didn't tell you off TOO much :-)

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    1. The Roger moore eyebrow has been on show since

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  24. Yup, this is entertainment at its best. Thank you John, You have won the internet today.

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  25. Hey ho ... ho ho ho!!!

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  26. Friends don't let friends Facetime!

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  27. John you really do seem to be a past master at putting your foot (or other parts) in it!

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  28. Remember. John, "the throne" is the most comfortable seat in the house!

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  29. He still wants to marry you...you will survive anything!

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  30. The loo is just for one thing....peeing and poohing.....reading, talking on the phone? all that malarkey? oh crikey no...not for me......I wonder at you all being so cavalier about your multitasking!!

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    1. I know it's so uncivilised

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  31. Your post made me laugh so hard I think I'd better head to the toilet now, but without my phone.

    Love,
    Janie

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  32. Lol...
    I can see those red cheeks as I type.
    ~Jo

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  33. Thank God I live in the dark ages, with a phone that just makes calls.
    Keep up the weird chat John - cheers up an old Suffolk gal

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    1. It was an iPad.......which was more worry as the photo was bigger!

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    2. I Pad You Pad, don't have one of those either.

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  34. Hee hee hee. No wonder we all love you.

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  35. Who would play you in the film of your life? and it can't be Russell Crowe! (He would just not do the toilet scene xx

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    1. If you suggest russell grant I shall slap you until you bleed

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  36. Oh dear John, you never fail to brighten my day.

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  37. Ah, I remember the days when cellphones and iPads in the loo were not a 'thing'... but a chilly chipmunk hiding in the outhouse, huddling, uninvited, on a warm lap was!

    True story, happened to my *ahem* MUCH older brother.

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  38. I think I've said it before, all class.

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  39. Lawd, laugh of day.

    XO
    WWW

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  40. Sure your not one of Mrs Brown's boys?

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