Sunday, 16 November 2014

What Knockers!



I'm in bed with my knees bent
I'm still snotty and coughing but at least the space hopper which had been inserted into my head has now been deflated somewhat. The pulled muscles cause by my mega cough/ fart episode of yesterday are still giving me gip, but after some experimentation I have found that if I stand up to cough the pain is more bearable .

I have had to call in sick for night shift tonight which I am loath to do. The sickness policy is mightily strict and it's easy to receive an official warning for just a couple of episodes of sickness.
Hey ho

Anyway I thought I would complete this questionnaire which was sent to me a few months ago by Andrea from Willow Tree Cottage .I know it's lazy blogging but seeing I can just about bend to sit on the bog without groaning, it's the best thing I can offer on this misty and miserable Sunday morning.

A) What does the last text you sent say? And to whom?
As I have lost my mobile phone for the 100th time , I have absolutely no idea....I suspect I used it when I went to Sheffield to see an old friend dressed up as a camp Nazi
( like you do)

B) What does the last text you received say? And from whom?
It was from Chris , and it simply said " X x"

C) What time do you wake up most mornings?
In winter 7.30 am

D) Are you afraid of walking alone at night?
What an odd question? If I went to bed and woke up alone, I would be afraid given the fact that one hairy arsed academic, at least two dogs and one wide eyed cat would have been asleep in bed when I got in!

E) What do you do to relax at the end of a stressful day?
Reading blogs. Trying to fathom what in the world is going on in Rachel's head. Watching re runs of Only Connect on YouTube .
I am lucky I seldom have overly stressful days

F) Where did your last kiss take place and with whom?
How VERY DARE YOU! - ask Chris that one.

G) Do/did you get into trouble a lot at school?
I never got into trouble. I was a swot in class who tagged alongside the more " robust lads"

H) Do you enjoy your job? If unemployed, are you content being so?
I still enjoy nursing but I am ready to leave the politics, policies, procedures and bullshit which accompanies the profession nowadays.

I) Do you often pick up on double entendres and innuendos?
Oooohhhhh Matron ! Of course....just look at my blog titles!
( one of my favourites must be from the film YOUNG Frankenstein - [Frankenstein, Igor and Inga in front of HUGE castle doors]
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: What knockers.
Inga: Oh, thank you doctor.

J) Have you ever been offered drugs but declined?
No.....I have not been offered any drugs

K) Have you ever met someone who has completely altered your way of thinking?
Many people.....many indeed. Leslie Brint, my old tutor in psychiatry, who was a conscientious objector during the war, had a profound effect on me as a student nurse. His gentle and accepting way of seeing the world challenged many of my " small town" attitudes and beliefs
In a similar vein experienced practitioners such as sisters Lu Bastiman and Anne o' Neil made me 
look at life from a patient's perspective rather than through my own.
When you start thinking about this subject the list, strangely becomes endless

L) Have you ever been offered drugs and accepted?
I have eaten flap jacks laced with pot, but wasn't offered them, I just ate a few and was told " after the event" so to speak......I was bonged out of my head only after going to bed hours later!

M) Tell us something weird that turns you on.
Scotch Eggs,

N) When did someone last admit romantic or sexual feelings for you? Was the feeling mutual?
I have absolutely no idea,before I ever met Chris..so I wouldn't be able to remember....bloody hell, I can't even remember what I had for breakfast yesterday!

O) What is something you have given a lot of thought to lately?
How to keep zombies out of the cottage come the inevitable zombie apocalypse

P) When did you last swallow your beliefs to avoid an argument or confrontation?
Not something I do well. The older I get, the less I am able to bite my tongue. A vague homophobic comment at work was gently flagged up as being appropriate by me fairly recently. I think it's inappropriate to always go in with all guns blazing.

Q) Do you usually initiate hugs?
I am not one of those sickly " group hug" people but I will be demonstrative when I want to be

R) Are you a very affectionate person?
It depends on the situation. I am a warm person, isn't that the same thing?


S) Can you roll your own cigarettes?
Yes.

T) What are you looking forward to?
Lunch

U) Do you have any tattoos. Do you want any/more?
No tattoos.... I would like one tiny one that one could see........how much of a rebel am I?

V) Are you mentally strong?
Yes, when the chips are down, I think I am......

W) Are you physically strong?
Today...absolutely not

X) Do you think you’re a good person?
Don't we all?

Y) Name one thing you wish you could change about your life right now.
My inability to cough and fart without pain


Z) What do you usually eat for breakfast
Coffee

right!... i want everyone to complete the questionaire!

53 comments:

  1. "one hairy arsed academic" - o.O

    do tell, old chap! or just post a picture!

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  2. I loved that film - a more polished 'Carry On'. I am going to do that questionnaire over on mine. I'm not feeling ill, just lazy. Get well soon.

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    Replies
    1. i was hoping everyone will do it

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  3. I was just thinking I would do a poem about peace and no more bickering. Hope you soon get over your cold Johnx I might do the questionnaire too.

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    Replies
    1. Don't stop bickering with tom... It reminds me so much of a 1970s sit com

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    2. Except we are real.

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    3. ..believe it or not..

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  4. Bollocks Johnboy! I am not completing that quiz. It's all a load of twaddle. Besides, she missed a couple of question off..
    AA What is the capital of Liechtenstein?
    BB What were the key economic theories contained in Adam Smith's "An Inquiry into the Nature and Causes of the Wealth of Nations" (1776)?

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  5. You would think they would want folks who are infectious to stay well away from the patients and the other staff....it would appear all employers are alike.

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  6. Visiting from Jerry's. I hope you feel better soon.

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  7. I am really glad I found your blog.
    Now get better.
    Pancakes? Really?

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    Replies
    1. Pancakes miss moon? Huh?

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    2. Pancakes = flapjacks

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    3. English flapjack is an oatmeal soft cake like buiscuit

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    4. Is that biscuit cookie or biscuit scone? :)

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  8. What hump? (and) That's Frahnkensteen.

    Coughing and farting could be worse if you were on antibiotics like me. Not as painful but, humiliating.

    ..and by-the-way, if you've not seen World War Z. We liked it. Those zombies were quite a bit quicker than TWD's.

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    Replies
    1. Oh yes..the famous " follow through"
      As for wwz
      It was ok.......I liked the plane bit...... The rest was all a bit rubbish
      And wasn't brad pitt's wife a bloody sour puss?

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    2. I liked the way the zombies moved in this movie. I thought it was unique. Especially toward the end when they were in that clinic and that one lady zombie was trapped and they showed a close up of her...creepy..... Feel better soon John. Hugs! deb

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  9. Good questionairre John - it has just endorsed what I have already picked up about you. You are a lovely, genuine person and a man after my own heart. I may do the questionairre one day but as I have no idea how to get at it other than to hand-write all the questions on a bit of paper and then re-type it, I shall need lots of time. But I do think it would be interesting to do. Get well soon.

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    Replies
    1. Pat just cut and paste my questionnaire and answers
      Then fit your own answers in!
      Simples!

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  10. Please don't commit any health care worker heroics and dismiss this cold. I have a friend in the hospital right now with a raging case of (previously ignored) pneumonia.
    Fluids and rest, John.

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    Replies
    1. Marty......I agree...reluctantly
      I need to be off. I Just don't want to have a black mark

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  11. Do you miss cigarettes, John? I do. I was never good at rolling them.

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    Replies
    1. I've never smoked Dave.. But I learned to roll cigs when I was a psychiatric nurse......

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  12. My answers would be very dull and boring........but, I can remember when I last had sex and with whom!

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    Replies
    1. Well that's the best comment so far!

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  13. How am I supposed to maintain my anonymity in the interwebs if I answer all those questions truthfully??

    hee hee

    I hope your pulled muscles (assuming that's what's happened) heal quickly. It's a shame that some employees abuse sick time and cause such inflexible policies that harm those who really need the time off.

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  14. Nobody seems keen to share their own answers so let me be the first!

    A) What does the last text you sent say? And to whom?
    "Going to dads on the way home" - to the wife.

    B) What does the last text you received say? And from whom?
    "OK XX" - from the wife in response to the above.

    C) What time do you wake up most mornings?
    About 06:13 - two minutes before the alarm goes off.

    D) Are you afraid of waking alone at night?
    No, it just means the wife is on the sofa to get away from my snoring.

    E) What do you do to relax at the end of a stressful day?
    Drink.

    F) Where did your last kiss take place and with whom?
    Just after tonight's dinner - with the wife of course!

    G) Do/did you get into trouble a lot at school?
    Nah - kept my head down and tried to not be noticed.

    H) Do you enjoy your job? If unemployed, are you content being so?
    Yes, because at least it's varied. I'd hate to do something repetitive.

    I) Do you often pick up on double entendres and innuendos?
    Always. In fact I'm usually the one creating them.

    J) Have you ever been offered drugs but declined?
    Not that I remember.

    K) Have you ever met someone who has completely altered your way of thinking?
    Only those who have made me determined not to be like them.

    L) Have you ever been offered drugs and accepted?
    Yeah, man. Then I completely demolished their supply of Skittles.

    M) Tell us something weird that turns you on.
    The momentary glimpse of nipple down a woman's top.

    N) When did someone last admit romantic or sexual feelings for you? Was the feeling mutual?
    Not saying.

    O) What is something you have given a lot of thought to lately?
    Tits and fanny.

    P) When did you last swallow your beliefs to avoid an argument or confrontation?
    Can't remember - I usually just put my foot in it and regret it later.

    Q) Do you usually initiate hugs?
    Yes, I'm very tactile.

    R) Are you a very affectionate person?
    I think so.

    S) Can you roll your own cigarettes?
    Gave up trying and used a bong instead.

    T) What are you looking forward to?
    My next knee surgery.

    U) Do you have any tattoos. Do you want any/more?
    No. Never. Bloody hate them.
    The only tattoo I ever thought was cool was an old lady who had "Do not resuscitate" tattooed on her chest.

    V) Are you mentally strong?
    While the situation is ongoing yes, but when it's over I crumble.

    W) Are you physically strong?
    I'm no Charles Atlas but I do have a good power to weight ratio.

    X) Do you think you’re a good person?
    Yes.

    Y) Name one thing you wish you could change about your life right now.
    Move to Ely so I can give up driving.

    Z) What do you usually eat for breakfast
    What's breakfast?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Loved the nipple comment!

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  15. I like your answer to O.

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  16. Hope tomorrow is pain free for you, John. take care.

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  17. "it's easy to receive an official warning for just a couple of episodes of sickness"

    From a hospital?

    They want you in sick coughing and/or sneezing over patients and/or spreading gastric bugs, etc. Hospital administrators do make me laugh sometimes, as an alternative to crying. You should be more worried about getting discilined for struggling in.

    I'd have though rulers of a hospital would be aware that people get ill, but many seem not to have realised.

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    Replies
    1. This "p" got delayed and is arriving late, sorry. It will try not to let that happen again.

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    2. Andrew.... I can't say a lot but hospitals are a business ...sick time is monitored closely......very closely
      Staff can be fired for too much sickness

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    3. "Staff can be fired for too much sickness"

      Eh... That's illegal (unless after all the time of sick entitlement in the contract, normally 6 months on full pay and 6 months on half pay ). Too many people let themselves be bullied, and when bullied don't fight back. Makes me sick... oh,sick... maybe \I should take tomorrow off.

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    4. Do you work in the private sector? The NHS is not a business. Businesses are run for profit. The NHS is a loss making service (big time, thankfully)

      Delete
  18. Did you misread the question for D or miswrite it? You wrote walking and answered for waking. Misreading may expain why you found the question odd.

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  19. A) What does the last text you sent say? And to whom?
    I don't think you meant to send this to me / I don't know

    B) Me too xx / I don't know (see answer to A)

    C) About 5 am initially, then about 8 again after a snooze.

    D) Are you afraid of walking alone at night?
    Neither of walking nor waking, whichever was meant, apart from when walking through a very scary part of a city, or waking in a power cut and thinking I've gone blind

    E) What do you do to relax at the end of a stressful day?
    Writing rubbish

    F) Where did your last kiss take place and with whom?
    About a foot away from where I am currently lying and last night

    G) Do/did you get into trouble a lot at school?
    A bit, but much less than I should have. I got away with things that should have got me expelled

    H) Do you enjoy your job? If unemployed, are you content being so?

    I have two jobs. I enjoy writing and I usually enjoy teaching but sometimes it makes me want to hang myself

    I) Do you often pick up on double entendres and innuendos?
    I'm usually the one making them, and being told I have gone too far

    J) Have you ever been offered drugs but declined?
    No. These two things have never come together

    K) Have you ever met someone who has completely altered your way of thinking?
    Significantly altered, but not completely, and not that I realised until much later

    L) Have you ever been offered drugs and accepted?
    Yes

    M) Tell us something weird that turns you on.
    Intellectually: Molecular orbital theory applied to large molecules like proteins and nuclei acids. Sexually: Nothing that would generally be classified as weird

    N) When did someone last admit romantic or sexual feelings for you? Was the feeling mutual?
    Explicitly and verbally... maybe 1974. Implicitly through actions... last night

    O) What is something you have given a lot of thought to lately?
    The control and redirection of my thoughts

    P) When did you last swallow your beliefs to avoid an argument or confrontation?
    Friday, before that..Thursday... before that...Wednesday, and every day all the way back to about 1964

    Q) Do you usually initiate hugs?
    Only with my lady

    R) Are you a very affectionate person?
    No


    S) Can you roll your own cigarettes?
    I don't smoke, so have never tried, so I expect that would be no

    T) What are you looking forward to?
    The Future

    U) Do you have any tattoos. Do you want any/more?
    No. No. Bloody hell No

    V) Are you mentally strong?
    Yes, in a major crisis. No in a minor crisis.

    W) Are you physically strong?
    Not especially, but I am slowly persistent

    X) Do you think you’re a good person?
    In essence yes, but I mess up the delivery of goodness often

    Y) Name one thing you wish you could change about your life right now.
    Nothing, out of experience warning me to be careful what i wish for

    Z) What do you usually eat for breakfast
    Mostly a banana, quite often nothing

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    Replies
    1. 1974 was a good year!
      It was the first time I saw Towering Inferno

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    2. It was the first (and only) time I hooked upf with a reigning beauty queen, and then later left her for my current lady. She was outraged (the beauty queen I mean). Every day I can still see what a great decision I made. My lady doesn't comment much on the decision though, and I am reluctant to ask her.

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    3. Oh my!
      You are one comso guy!

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    4. That should have read Cosmo
      Lol

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    5. Either way I don't know what it means (so I am probably not)

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  20. Answer to all questions - "Darned if I know, I don't remember"

    John, I do hope you are feeling better. Better to stay home when you are so ill. No need to spread the "joy".

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  21. JOHN!!! I would bet 100 dollars that you have put a rib out rather than pulled a muscle. I did the same thing, felt the same things, my osteopath clunked it back in (I heard it, it was a bit revolting!) and it was amazing. xo

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  22. Once I put the car in a ditch on a dirt road in the middle of the night miles away from anyway. Had to walk out. Completely cured any fear of walking in the dark. Now I love it.

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  23. I'll do mine on the Blog one day this week ;-)

    Love your answers, but should the question D. read waking or walking alone at night?

    ReplyDelete

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