Friday, 31 October 2014

Trick or What?

Yoda and what looked liked a very bad drag queen have just knocked on the cottage door singing out a very American " trick or treat" through the letterbox. Yoda would be around 5 years old, whilst the drag queen looked around 9. Both were accompanied by a slightly embarrassed woman dressed in a white sheet. It was she who explained that the drag queen was supposed to be Lady Ga Ga.
She looked a bit harassed
I didn't tell her that lady GaGa looked more like a plump and very badly dressed mini Cher,
It would have been too cruel
I gave both girls a handful of egg money from the jar in the kitchen and asked them why wasn't they tricking after dark.
" we're off to Pizza Hut " Yoda told me " with a load of witches"

" you can have a wine there" I said to the Mum in the sheet
" I may have three" she said with a sigh

I'll leave you with a photo of a Marilyn Monroe bulldog
Apparently it is all the craze to dress your animals up for Halloween
God help us!

49 comments:

  1. That's funny, John. I am just back from our pet-food store and they tell me there that costumes are flying out the door for the customers' dogs. Poor things.

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  2. Daughter made a Toblerone chocolate bar costume for Waldie a chocolate long hair Dachshund one year. She belongs to a very fun Dachshund group. They meet up several times a year.
    The dog run around and play, everyone talks and then there is a very short (hahahah) parade and vote.
    Very fun.

    cheers, parsnip

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    1. Gayle....I saw the little fellow on your blog....that gave me the inspiration for today's blog

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  3. Cher? lol. I have my little pumpkin out side and the one in the window to show I give out sweets. Only 2 little ones so far we are loosing the light, so I don't know if I will get any more. 4 tins of celebrations may have been too many...

    What if the dog tinkles on the dress?

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    1. Don't worry gaga is rich enough to buy another one!

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  4. Rather than relying on God to help us, for I doubt he/she/it/they is/are there, or would be interested in us anyhow, we have the lights off and enjoy only the glow of the TV and PC while rehearsing our "Bah Humbug's" for the Santa Season and listening to the "There's nobody in"s that drift through the darkened letterbox.

    Happy Shallow-een

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    1. Have a good one Andrew! Be safe....don't be caught by the goolies

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  5. People dressed up as animals, animals dressed up as people, what is the world coming to? Oh yes, it's that day of the year :)

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  6. Nah, I found that the one time I tried to dress up any of my animals, (we are talking a hankie 'round the neck), he tried to devour it, so I just watch movies... And wear brightly colored socks. Oh, wait... I do that anyway, never mind.

    Cat

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    1. Same here..even Winnie has shed her bandana

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  7. I think that Dog has more of the spirit of our very own Diana Dors rather than Marilyn.

    Jean
    x

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    1. Good old dors
      I miss her

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  8. Bulldog looks more like Mae West to me.

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  9. If you start now you can have the animal costumes ready for next years, penguins have been known to dress as chickens for Halloween

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    1. Have you been taking drugs again?

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    2. I should be so lucky.

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  10. I suggested to the wife that she forgo the Mickey Mouse costume she brought home for our Popeye and dress him up as a turd that way he would just eat himself and save his the embarrassment. You can probably guess her reaction.

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    1. My cats & I are having a good laugh over that suggestion. Perfect solution to the whole rediculous thing.

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    2. And the prize for the best blog comment goes to doc x

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  11. I was thinking of giving any trick-or-treaters who may show up at my door a shot of rum. Nothing could go wrong with that plan, right?
    My daughter begged me to get a costume for my cat. I refused, of course. How undignified that would make her feel!

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    1. Rum?
      Are you a secret pirate?

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    2. Only in my own mind.

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  12. We didn't have " Halloween" when we were kids in the 50's..and nor did my boys in the 80's…..Us export, and now a huge money spinner in this country ! I see it as a " protection racket"…..I am sure that little kids enjoy it….rotting their teeth with all the sweeties ! But what are the parents teaching them? Some years ago we had a group of teens at the door, no " costumes" declaring trick or treat and one of them at the back showing a knife , a neighbour had followed them up the drive as they had pulled a shrub up in his garden, when he sent them off, we sent them off and phoned the police…one of the lads was brought round by his Dad the next morning to apologise. A few years ago a Mum and little kid appeared at my door…no pumpkin outside, no spider webs, ghosts, and said t or t…..I was actually very polite, and said sorry I have no sweets. I really wanted to say…did you see a effing pumpkin outside my door, why are you knocking? Ok Rant over….I don't like it!

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  13. PS Anybody with me here…Rachel?

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    1. " I really wanted to say…did you see a effing pumpkin outside my door?"

      Ha ha. Yup. I'm with you.

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    2. Thank you Andrew, glad I am not the only one! Not had a knock yet tonight…and nearly 8pm! I would set the dog on them if they had! He is only a schnauzer, but he can bark for England!

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    3. I'm with you all the way Frances. Never heard of it.

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    4. I like the pumpkin carving of it... But that's about all.....
      What else happens apart from the killing of babysitters?

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    5. There's the dancing naked round a bonfire and inseminating local virgins by the light of the flames aspect, but last time I tried to enter fully into the spirit of things and organised that in my back garden the neighbours disapproved. So now it's just lights off and hide away 'til it's done.

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    6. Andrew you've been watching the wicker man too much

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    7. No... I just live in a wee village deep in the Scottish countryside.

      Unfortunately my neighbours are English though so they don't quite understand.

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  14. I am not a fan of dressing up animals, never have been.

    I don't get many trick or treaters, and the year before last, even though I left the front porch light on to show I had candy to share, no one came. Last year, I had one brother or sister who carefully looked at the candy. They thanked me as they each took a piece, and the boy looked carefully at the wrapper, asking if he could take one more piece. He did use the word please and asked very kindly. His mother was appalled, and I said it was perfectly all right, and his sister could, too, if she wanted another piece. She declined. The mother still looked horrified, and I smiled, saying to her, "Who knows? He might share it with you if you ask."

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    1. I am amused by thge ingenuity of costume makers but wouldn't do it myself......
      Bulldogs are ideal for dressing up..,..they seem to enjoy it

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  15. No one comes to my house, they would be welcomed by a real witch if they did... I don't have any candy, for the simple reason that we are so isolated and I don't need candy. I have a purse full of quarters, though, if anyone were to show up.
    I used to dress Jack in a Clemson sweatshirt, he loved it, it helped keep his body warm. It was Halloween orange, because it is one of the school colors, not for Halloween. Sadly, I have misplaced it...

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  16. Last time I saw her on Strictly, a couple of weeks ago, Lady GaGa did indeed look like a plump and very badly dressed mini version of Cher!! Good Weekend to you, Sir.

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    1. And you too old buddy x

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  17. That poor dog. Franklin is dressed in his usual black-and-white fur.

    Love,
    Janie

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  18. I suppose if you've grown up with Hallowe'en you don't mind kids coming around when you're an adult. We lived in a small village and Hallowe'en was only slightly second to Christmas. Maybe not, maybe it was first. We planned for it for weeks. No bought costume, just dressed up in curtains, sheets or grownups cast-off clothes. A party at school. My kids grew up the same. I still get excited over getting ready for it. Takes all kinds, I guess :)

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    1. Halloween is a relatively new thing in the UK....
      I grew up with bonfire night

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    2. Not "relatively new" in Scotland John. Far from it. As a youngster we had everyone doing the dressing up and "guising" (not trick or treating but just doing some awful dance or song for some reward) and "dookin" for apples and monkey nuts and our lanterns were made of turnips, as they should be, not damn pumpkins! Bah.... But it was a huge thing in Scotland in the 50s and 60s. Then I remember as I grew tired of all the fuss I decided just going out in my pyjamas was sufficient attempt at "dressing up", but I was scolded for making a poor effort. Then all the awful bought costumes and capes and fake blood and plastic bloody fingernails and ghastly trick or treating and damn pumpkins arrived from the bloody US of A, and I grew into the miserable old curmudgeon that I am now. Just thought I'd share that.

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    3. I was really referring to the modern trick or treat phenomenon

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    4. Ah, okay. If I do get caught by someone saying "Trick or Treat?" at me I reply by saying, "Ohhh, I'll have a treat, thanks very much."

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  19. You needed a bit more notice but next year you should be able to get all your animals into Halloween costumes. Might I suggest a Margaret Thatcher costume for Winnie - complete with baby blue twin set, pearls and a patent leather handbag. That would be very scary.

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    1. Hummmm...I was thinking more of kathy Burke

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  20. It's 2°C. It was snowing. Worst Halloween ever. Poor kids.

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    1. Susie.....warmest Halloween on record here 24 degrees

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  21. Try to dress up my cats?Hahahahahahahahahaa...ER would have to be on speed dial.
    Jane x

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  22. They like to dress up pets, yes. I feel for the ones in the bad costumes, like that poor bull dog.
    Hope you had a good, uneventful, Halloween, John.

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