Monday, 6 October 2014

A Big Wet Vagina

I found myself on catch up today. I haven't taken the harvest festival food to the homeless  shelter as yet, William needs another trip to the vets and I need to pick up a friend's carpet cleaner in order to remove the mouse intestine stains from the hall landing carpet.
I did, however,  manage to walk the dogs , do some shopping and buy the house coal this morning and at lunchtime I popped into the the driveby McDonald's in order to buy a single ( yes a single) cheeseburger for me and a large fries for the dogs As we drove past the animal feed wholesalers I saw Bunty loading horse feed into the back of her jeep, so I stopped to say hello.
She told me that she had sold on the geese that I had sold to her, blaming the fact they continued to act  like" bastard geese from Hell" and as we chatted she helped me feed the dogs with their chips .
When she handed Winnie her fries, she swore under her breath as her hand disappeared into a huge bulldog mouth, then she wiped her wet hands rather theatrically on her jeans
" Christ Almighty it's like putting your hand in a big wet vagina" she bellowed
I could see her point..........

48 comments:

  1. I like Bunty. Very much.

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  2. Your titles are certainly eye-catching. The advertising world missed a talent there. :)

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    1. Yes! I'm sure many people will log on because of that title. ;)

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    2. I am shameless

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  3. I wonder what she would have said if Winnie licked her with her big wet tongue.

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  4. Bunty sounds like my kinda gal.

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  5. Can you persuade Bunty to write a blog?

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  6. The title dragged me in. I'm so ashamed....

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  7. I didn't have my glasses on so missread the title as "Big Wet Virginia".

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  8. Never had my lady bits likened to a bulldogs slobbery mouth but hey ho there is still time, I'm not completely past it! Look forward to tomorrow's blog post title : )

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  9. seriously...............

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  10. I wondered where Bunty had got to.Glad that she is back I missed her.

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  11. its going to be hard to top that headline

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  12. The best blog title of the year. I think Bunty is brilliant!

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  13. Hi John, love reading your blog. It was my daughter who took your order for burger & chips today. She remembers your lovely dogs x

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    1. Omg.....I told her that the chips were for the dogs and she laughed !

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  14. Bunty sounds great…I don't like slobbery dogs!

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  15. Tee hee. I lurv you and Bunty.

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  16. I recently found out that our Collie is a regular at the local drive thru McD's! The woman in the window said to me: "where's Lassie" and happily informed me that my son who borrows my car always buys Lassie a kid's meal!

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  17. Somehow I just KNEW this post would reference Winnie when I saw the title in my blog feed. How I knew it is a mystery to me.

    And......Eeewww!!!! LOL

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  18. Love Bunty, want to meet her.
    Love the fact the gang get fries.
    Love 50 and counting comment.
    This all made me smile.

    cheers, parsnip

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    1. Cheeseburger Happy Meal with a bottle of milk!

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  19. You did it again ..... no wonder you get so many page views.

    I must say I'm liking your friendship with Bunty more and more as it develops ;-)

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  20. You know how to catch the eye of passing bloggers lol!
    I immediately thought,'Must be something to do with Winnie.' Didn't expect it to be her mouth somehow.........
    I wonder if the geese will end up on someones' table?!

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  21. Does Winnie have no teeth?

    Once again I am confused (and slightly worried)

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    1. She has a couple of tiny baby teeth that all

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  22. Fries for dogs? Have you no book on dog nutrition? But on second thoughts John, a cheeseburger is hardly salad is it? Incidentally, as headings for blogs go yours today takes some beating.

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    1. They only have three or four each pat

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    2. My guy gets a cheeseburger and fries maybe twice a month. His weight is breed appropriate and he's in perfect health according to his dogtor. Plenty of exercise daily. It's not like he's washing it down with Coors Lite

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  23. When I saw the title of this post, I thought it was about me. I'm such a narcissist.

    Love,
    Janie

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  24. I read the title and saw the length of the post, and thought to myself, just how is this man gonna get from Harvest Festival to Big Wet Vagina in 30 secs? Of course, chips.

    Jean
    x

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  25. Probably better than putting your hand in a gorilla's armpit....

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  26. Hmmm. Lately you've been catering the Non-Big Wet Vagina peeps....

    ;-)

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  27. My god - your best, most un-ignorable title yet. You excelled yourself.

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  28. Does Bunty have a blog?

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  29. Bunty is the best....tell her so!

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  30. I bet this title will draw in a lot of the porn-seekers. Watch your stats go off the charts.

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  31. Oh, John, how do I ever get through the day without visiting you and your fellow villagers?

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  32. I'm an American geography student trying to find out how big West Virginia is and was somehow directed here. Excuse me.

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  33. LOL -- chips for the dogs! I love it. Though the title put me off, I must admit.

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  34. This one got me to laughing. Does Bunty have any idea she's so well known in Blogland?

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