Village News

  • Other things other than turkey traumas happen in Trelawnyd you know......here are a few little moments from today
  • I stopped at the house of affable despot Jason this morning. Egg production is on hold for some obscure reason and I wanted to leave a message telling him so..seeing that Monday is egg delivery day. Claire ( Mrs Affable Despot) was home and a little bizarrely showed me their dining room window which had been heavily covered with dried on smashed egg two nights previously!  One of the culprits was a local teen from around the corner and Claire was waiting for the boy's parents to frog march the little sod to clean off his handiwork. So far there was a no show, despite Claire's insistence that the boy does his duty....a sad indictment of parent power!.....having said this Claire is not a lady to be crossed so, I expect the eggy window will be cleaned pretty soon.
  • As I walked down Bron Haul Mrs D called a hello from her front garden. " I believe you are getting married fairly soon" she called out....then preceded to tell me all about her grandson's male partner...who is a " lovely Boy" .She told me that she is going to enter her outside tubs in next year's Flower Show!
  • Auntie Glad was in the middle of hoovering her front room ( the living room that is only kept for best), when I called round. I wanted to check with her if it is still ok for the Flower Show Committee to meet in her kitchen  over the next year. I knew it would be, but I felt I needed to ask given the fact she is becoming increasingly frail over the last year ......she agreed that our next meeting would be on Tuesday the 7th of October  at 7pm. " I'll have some scones ready" she trilled as I left.
  • At 5 pm our elderly neighbour came down to the field to see if I could lend him a step ladder..I asked him why he wanted one and he told me he had locked himself out and wanted to climb through his bedroom window........" You're 90! " I shouted ( is if he didn't know) and minutes later I found myself squeezing my fat arse through a tiny PVC bungalow window whilst farting  with the gusto of the Queen Mary's hooter with the strain of it all. 
The cottages of Bonc Terrace just down from Gladys' House 
This afternoon


42 comments:

  1. I wish all neighbors were as kind as you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous10:08 pm

    It's even questionable whether you should be up on a ladder. You must have seen the results of men up ladders once they over a certain age. A past neighbour fell off his roof, at the age of 90.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous10:10 pm

    I should add he survived with only bruising.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Bonc Terrace looking all calm before nightfall.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous10:27 pm

    A hero rescue with sound effects lol.

    ReplyDelete
  6. A great blast of Jasmine Sunrise surging over the village of Trelawnyd - how absolutely bloody romantic.

    ReplyDelete
  7. If the little sod's parents don't frog march him down to scrub off the eggs, at least the whole village will know they didn't. Or, didn't in time.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Ah, bless. It all sounds lovely. Except for the eggy window and well, you know, the farting. Still, "the gusto of Queen Mary's hooter," made me smile.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Maybe the egg thrower has been stealing your eggs?

    ReplyDelete
  10. Goodness !
    Enjoyed the post and laughed at the last part.
    I am not allowed to climb any ladders ever !

    cheers, parsnip

    ReplyDelete
  11. God how I wished 2nd Man and I could pack up and move to your village. Sounds like fun to me!

    ReplyDelete
  12. A day in the life of a country gentleman.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Though I like where I live, your village sounds most entertaining. Is there a cottage round there for sale?! lol

    ReplyDelete
  14. I believe I would like to live down the lane.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Never a dull moment; if it's not the livestock, it's the neighbours :)

    ReplyDelete
  16. I am picturing you crawling through the window. Too bad the 90 year old gentlemen did not have an iPhone to record that scene for prosterity. It would have been priceless.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Bwahahahaha!
    Sorry, John. I can just imagine you doing that.
    Hope tomorrow brings a brighter day. ♥

    ReplyDelete
  18. I have some experience with eggs and windows, and outside walls. I won't go into detail, and the statute of limitations has expired anyway. But, left on either glass or outside paint, raw egg will actually etch the glass, and discolour the paint. A protein molecule eat's away at the outer layer of either, more slowly on glass.
    I got a neighbor kid to do the same for me last year. The window thing.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Hahahahhaha! I"m not sure I will ever remove from my head the image of you farting as you squeeze through a window!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Is there any particular reason why ADJ's window was 'egged'? The little sod wants tar and feathering.

    ReplyDelete
  21. I wish I could live in Trelawnyd. The people sound so nice.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, except for the young egg-thrower. But compared to the way many American teenagers act, egging windows seems almost charming.

      Delete
  22. Anonymous5:15 am

    When people, regardless of their age, do strange and antisocial things I am not so much for punishing them as trying to find out what on earth made them do it in the first place. There must be a reason. If I were Mrs Adorable Jason I'd just wipe the egg off myself. No point to shame and humiliate a youngster who will clean the window, and not very well at that, with hatred in his heart.

    Other than that all appears well in your world - apart from the turkey. Leaving aside his old age, the season to be merry approaching once more it's hardly something to look forward to (if you are a turkey).

    Fond greetings to Aunt Gladys.

    U

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I disagree.Ursula
      I think claire was firm but fair. She wanted the boy to apologise ( to her two,small girls who were terribly frightened by the whole thing) and to clean up after himself. Now if that belittled the boy so be it, but I know claire would have don't the whole thing fairly after all she is a teacher with a huge experience with angst little people.
      Oh you do like to be devils advocate sometimes my girl

      Delete
    2. That kid needs to clean the window. If his parents don't make him do it, then they'll hear from The Queen of Grammar (And Now Windows).

      Delete
  23. Why egg the window I wonder?...and I have an image of a farting arse stuck in a window now..........

    ReplyDelete
  24. I got locked out recently ( dodgy front door handle ) My neighbour tried to help but we couldn't open the door. My 18 year old son arrived home from college, got the ladder & slid through the bathroom window. My neighbour said, " I could have done that ! " ummmm better not !

    ReplyDelete
  25. A snapshot in words - love it John. I just knew you'd comment on the best mans ar*e - that's why I put it on! x

    ReplyDelete
  26. LOL! Trelawnyd could become Trelawnyd Blogland id every one from here wanted to come and live in your village - sounds like it is on par with 'Vicar of Dibley'!
    As fro your exiting air.....you could have blamed it on a Gnome my Nephew gave me, it used to make farting noises when anyone passed. I had to take the batteries out of it because the old cat Rosie used to keep going passed it to make the noises, she was utterly fascinated by it. The sound used to echo around the retirement village where I used to live. You can guess what the 'Villagers' thought was going on, "It came from the Nursing Home across the way, there's always a smell of cooking cabbage from there." !

    ReplyDelete
  27. Just a normal day In Trelawnyd then ....... :-)

    ReplyDelete
  28. Eggs are really difficult to clean off windows so I hope the little b***d who did that really does get frog-marched to do his duty. That's the good thing about living in a village - you nearly always find out who the guilty parties are.

    ReplyDelete
  29. A happy and interesting day in the life :)... I hope you know you are "Livin The Dream" ?

    ReplyDelete
  30. Rescuing your neighbor, you are such a gem.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Goodness, do people still have living rooms kept for best? I thought that strange habit had died out years ago. I mean, what's the point of having a room but not using it?

    We still traces of egg on the brickwork over our front door from an egg attack some years back. If it's hard to get egg off windows, just try getting it off bricks!

    ReplyDelete
  32. I want to be your neighbor. Keep an ear open for any available cottages in about 10 years when I retire. :)

    ReplyDelete
  33. You're such a nut. I can only imagine the elderly neighbor asking, 'what did you say?' at your blast of wind

    ReplyDelete
  34. This and you really are a TV series!

    ReplyDelete
  35. I wish I'd seen and heard your bottom going through the window.

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
  36. everyone will be on Rightmove trying to find a house near you soon. By the looks of all the comments.

    ReplyDelete
  37. I wonder if Trelawynyd could install some of those video cameras like the ones used on every blasted street corner. The town could have real-life video running on a web site, for pay.

    No, even I think that's creepy. forget that I wrote that.

    ReplyDelete

I love all comments Except abusive ones from arseholes