Tuesday, 30 September 2014

A Fat Man Eating An Eclair


At 7.30 this morning Albert had a close shave with a Welsh Water Board van, which caught him napping at the lane corner.. Usually he preempts any confrontation with traffic but had been sidetracked somewhat by a mouse down a drain  and had not caught up with me and the dogs before the van arrived.
I flapped my arms to slow the driver down, but he too seemed preoccupied  and the inevitable collision was only averted by some nifty footwork on Albert's part.
Our little corner of Trelawnyd may well be a little idyll for us, but for Albert there is danger at almost every turn. Not only is there a threat from ignorant van drivers  but " The Bastard " still mooching around in the churchyard (  the " Bastard " is the local feral cat who tried to kick the shit out of Albert on a regular basis) but Benji ( the wire haired fox terrier from down the lane) is baying for some black cat blood to be spilt as soon as possible and I have no doubt  that if he  ever catches Albert in his garden than Albert would be killed as quickly as a fat man eating an eclair .

It's harder being a cat than you think

61 comments:

  1. You are right, you know. Quicker even...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yes, cats that spend any time outdoors are in peril! Only their quick footed- ness saves them at times. We've lost a couple that have been caught unawares.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Glad Albert had one of his many nine lives spared today. He is so cute.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I was reading that despite popular belief a lot of cats don't like going outdoors and would rather stay indoors where they're safe from other cats and other outdoor hazards like cars. Glad to hear Albert is still working through his nine lives.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think Albert
      Iikes a bit of both nick
      As long as dogs, cats and cars are not about

      Delete
  5. Ha, I just posted my own cat photos. Lady McKenna has a cushy life next to Albert. But I bet Albert wouldn't want it any other way.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We had him confined to barracks one time Alison when he was ill and it drove him batty

      Delete
    2. And you as well, no doubt.

      Delete
  6. Village life does not only involve we humans; there's another whole world out there too!

    ReplyDelete
  7. I was waiting for the fat man eating a chocolate eclair to arrive on the scene...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I kind of liked the metaphor or was it a simile
      Who knows

      Delete
    2. Simile. Reminded me of a scene in Victor Victoria, where Victoria is starving and stops outside a cafe window to watch a fat man eating an eclair, then faints. :)

      Delete
  8. "But the cat came back, he thought it was a goner...."
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LjMffHG1V_Q

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. First time I have ever heard that Michael.......
      Was quite worried when it was titled
      " a camp song"

      Delete
  9. I am so grateful that neither my chickens nor my cat ever venture into the road. Chickens seem to understand boundaries by some mysterious process but cats rarely do.
    May that particular fat man never get his teeth on that eclair!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I lost a chicken last year
      Flat as a pancake

      Delete
  10. And the pastoral life in the country is a lot more violent than I imagined. Our city cats have it easy. A jaunt onto their private terrace whenever they want and a quick dash back in the house if a car down below makes too much noise.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I guess Albert had to have a risky life
      All his litter mates were killed on a main road, after he and them were abandoned

      Delete
  11. I started the year with 8 feral cats in my woodshed. I trapped each and had them neutered and vaccinated and fed them well. I have 80 acres for them to hunt. Now I have 3, along with a well-fed coyote out there somewhere. Outdoors IS a difficult place for a cat to live. The indoor-only cats live well into their teens.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I had an indoor-only cat that lived to the ripe old age of 20, which, I believe, is 100 in human years.

      Delete
  12. I could be a cat - a rather cool cat. Free board and lodge, no need for clothes and you can lick your genitals whenever you want.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol only a man would say that! lol

      Delete
    2. You could do that too if you were a little younger YP

      Delete
    3. Reminds me of that old joke "Why do dogs lick their balls?".."because they can"

      Delete
  13. I don't suppose you could convince Albert to stay indoors..maybe import some mice for him to chase in the house?

    ReplyDelete
  14. I'm wondering if Albert's hearing is going. I know he is getting up there. Once cats start to hit senior years they really do need to stay closer to home. Maybe you should get another cat, a female, that would keep his interests at the home-front.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Deb... He's only young at seven
      I think he was more interested in the mouse

      Delete
  15. I have waged war within myself over whether it is fair to our cats that they are indoor-only. There is a whole set of issues with boredom, obesity, boredom, scratching, boredom, litter boxes, and did I mention boredom? But outdoor cats have more diseases, injuries and early deaths - some of them pretty gruesome - than indoor cats. It's usually hard to re-train any cat who has had some freedom, although I have to say our stray has never poked her nose out the door since she came; she seems to enjoy being away from the great outdoors. Rambling today. The important thing is that Albert is okay. And he is a handsome boy.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Also, hope you're feeling better today, John.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I had 10 hours sleep.. I do feel a lot better x

      Delete
  17. Our village has trebled in size since we moved here and some (a minority) of the incomers are not used to the country roads. They drive far too fast, unaware that just round the next bend there may be horses, tractors, people walking dogs, sheep on the road etc. I have seen horses spooked by cars overtaking them at full speed. I always pull into the side with the dogs when traffic approaches. Most drivers are lovely and slow down and pull across the road. Some others just zoom past, despite my big show of putting my hand up (could be interpreted as 'thank you for slowing down' or 'PLEASE slow down'). Thank goodness Albert is ok - he's a beauty!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The cars that most annoy me are the mothers on the school run in a morning
      They are always too fast

      Delete
    2. That's why I always try to wait until after the school run to walk the dogs.

      Delete
  18. If only someone could trap the feral cat, "fix" it up. And the terrier? Could Winnie handle it?

    Lovely Albert!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He's a sweetie when Albert is not about... But yes I have seen Winnie hitch her nose under his arse and flip him when he gets too boisterous

      Delete
  19. We have one outdoor, one indoor cat. Indoor cats only was a decision about five years ago when the hawks established a rookery across the street, and no kitten or small cat would be safe.
    At one point we had two indoor cats, one of whom was the complete escape artist, except he came home to go to the bathroom. He died, I believe of neurosis. The other indoor cat enjoys the smell of outdoors through the screen, and in four years has made no attempt to go there.
    As for the out door cat, he come in solely on his terms. Spends cold winter nights on a chair and at four am HOWLS for someone to let him out to use the real litter box.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Stay safe Albert! Black kitties have a special place in my heart.

    ReplyDelete
  21. My black cat Jinx is a fat happy indoor cat. Stay safe Albert....

    ReplyDelete
  22. Oh the cats. After 20 years at the farm catless, three kittens showed up at the barn. I should have never started feeding them because I ended up with about 50 barn cats. I couldn't get them fixed fast enough as it was just too expensive. Finally found a vet in Connecticut who prescribed birth control for feral cat colonies and it worked for 3 years. He died and I could no longer get the birth control powder. We are down to 5 at the house only one of which gets to come in and out as he pleases. One feral tom keeps coming to the house and attacking my cats in which they keep getting abscesses and costing me a lot in vet bills. I wish I could catch him.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 50 is a small number considering that one female cat & her offspring can produce 420,000 cats in just 7 years. Only 1 out of 12 cats will ever find a home. In our state there is no excuse for not having any cats spayed or neutered since there are no cost & low cost clinics that provide the surgery through funds raised by no-kill cat shelters. The problem is the irresponsible pet owners that are too lazy to take their cat to be fixed that angers me.

      Delete
  23. I love my cats. A stray cat turned up and my brother was keeping an eye on her because she was in kit and then she went and had the kittens under the weighbridge. They sed to dodge the lorries. I now have all four of them and my brother has the mother.xxx

    ReplyDelete
  24. In some ways John a quiet road is more dangerous for the cat I think, because in busy areas cats get really street-wise. Our dearly loved cat Maxi got run over some years ago and was terribly injured. We searched and searched but couldn't find him. A friend heard him screaming in the hedge bottom, found him and put him out of his misery. I fear for my two now. They have managed ten years but you never know.

    ReplyDelete
  25. "Albert would be killed as quickly as a fat man eating an eclair"

    Rather slowly then, with many years of time delay...

    Good

    ReplyDelete
  26. That's why cats have, and need, nine lives.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Danger is lurking at every corner for cats. However, Albert is living 'the life of Riley' until, if ever, he meets his fate tragically.

    ReplyDelete
  28. So happy to hear that Albert is OK !
    That is a very scary feeling.
    Albert is such a help to you and your garden/farm.

    I have a friend who has two indoor cats She has cat shelves built in a room for their jumping and napping pleasure. She also has built a screened in porch for their outdoor fun.
    That is something I would do. Kitties do not live long outside where I live. Walking hor-d'oeuvres.

    Daughter worked for SPCA clinic. The sick and messed up outdoor cats that came through there was awful. Dogs too but more cats because many people think them disposal. They had free programs that gave you the traps you would bring the cats in. They would fix them and give then as many vaccination as they could. Give them back and hope for the best.
    My feelings are unless they are farm kitties and fixed, cats should be kept inside and safe.
    The only thing worst than a Mum on a school run is a Dad who is talking on his phone, drinking coffee and HAS to make the school run that morning. Been there seen that.

    cheers, parsnip


    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I find the whole house cat thing a bit hard to understand
      Only because I don't have experience of it.... I guess in the UK Housecats are still relatively rare

      Delete
  29. It's a bloody Welsh jungle out there John.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Glad to hear Albert got away in time!

    My cats are indoor/outdoor by choice. I leave it to them to decide, and I try to make the back yard entertaining enough so they don't feel the need to go out front to the roadway.

    Feral cat Grace who had a huge territory for a spayed female at the last location (10 acres at least) would scamper across the road and hunt in the field across the street. Several times i'd be coming home from someplace, and she'd run in front of my car, racing to the back step as if to say i couldn't prove anything, but she'd have a guilty look on her face.
    Jim ran towards the house if he were in front and heard a loud car or truck go past, so why he decided to cross the busy road that abuts mine is beyond me. The only thing i could figure was that he was hunting something and not mindful of the road. He was not successful in his crossing :0(
    We have raptors here as well as wolves or coyotes and fishers (similar to weasels and badgers) so there are predators. And, i'm sure there are several fat men here who eat all kinds of pastry.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What's a raptor?
      I thought that was a dinosaur.
      ?
      Is it a lizard?

      Delete
    2. Raptor can be either, John. Hawks and such are also known as raptors.
      Glad that Albert is okay for another day!

      Delete
    3. Yes, what LindaG said. Hawks, owls, eagles, kestrels. We do have some large owls here that have taken cats, although JoJo i think would be too big for most.

      Delete
  31. All too familiar. And very, very glad that Albert (who looks like Jazz's long lost brother) escaped.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Jacksonville is full of feral cats. They are all over my neighborhood.

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
  33. So glad Albert lives to mouse another day.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Good old Albert. My heart nearly stopped. Do you think a terrier would be a match for a cat? I have seen cat and dog fights where the dog slinks away (bloody nosed) knowing when defeated.

    As to keeping cats indoors - as some of your other readers suggest: It's crazy. It's cruel. Yes, sure, you may keep the cat "safe" but it goes against all their instincts. How to chase a butterfly, catch a mouse or worse (frogs come to mind), and put bounty at our feet (unfortunately only half dead) as a token of their affection?

    I love cats. But currently living inner city I wouldn't dream of indulging myself. It'd be totally unfair to the cat.

    Apropos of nothing, and I may have told you this before: One of our cats had a death wish. Or at least that's what I told her. Awful. She'd hear my car turn into our road, and good old loyal soul and friend she was she'd run out, sit in the middle [of the road]. I tell you, John, a three point turn when taking your driving test has nothing on trying to park your car with your cat in attendance. As touched as I wasthose moments she drove me nuts. Sadly eventually a car (not mine) got her. By chance a friend of mine found her at the curb. Took her to the vet. Yes, good old Fleury, unblemished, yet died of shock/cardiac arrest on the vet's table. Still haunts me that I wasn't there when the nine years allocated to her came to an end. My friend didn't actually know she was mine, or should I say my son's. I had both our cats micro chipped (thank god, otherwise we'd never known).

    Thing is, like with anything living - be they people or animals, risk is never further away than your next breath.

    U

    ReplyDelete
  35. I tried to adopt a sem-feral kitten last year and bring her in my house to live with my other two indoor cats. She loved when I would bring her in out of the cold for a few hours of lap sitting and brushing but then would start pawing and crying at the window when she needed to get going. Sadly, she met her fate when she followed another, faster cat across the narrow, winding country road. I looked for her for days and was told by our neighbor farmer that she was hit by a car. It broke my heart and I wished I had trained her to be an inside cat. However, I knew that she was happy for that year and a half and like Albert, had the best of both worlds.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Ah, yes. The endless potential conflict of neighbourhood pets. I experience this with Olga on a regular basis. There's a cat down the road that she would absolutely LOVE to consume.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Our Ginger is leading quite a busy life at the moment. Keeping our neighbours cat Tash away from our land and sending him running back over the boundary fence AND keeping himself and the dogs supplied with mice, moles and rabbits. If I have to remove one more dead body from my living room carpet I'll scream !!

    ReplyDelete

I love comments and will now try very hard to reply to all of them
Please dont be abusive x