Wednesday, 18 June 2014

The Bitch In The Pink Singlet

There is a big difference between being " poor" and being " common"
Common people , in my mind , can be defined , as rude and inappropriate
They also show too much midriff for my liking
And they yell  at their kids like banshees in public places
I can't be doing with them

Anyhow....

I was standing at the self service check out at Tesco's today when a youngish woman in a pink singlet and a "  Brianna " tattoo up her forearm started to scream in the face of her small child who was sniveling loudly in a push chair next to the tills.
Now I am usually terribly British when faced with nutter mums like these, and like 99% of the population , I just stand there quite uncomfortably in front of the confrontation giving dirty looks and tutting quietly to myself .
But today I did say something.
I said something because I hadn't had much sleep thanks to several over heated dogs mooching around the cottage all night and I was spoiling for a fight
I said something because I had to curb my sudden urge to wrap the woman's pink singlet up and over her giant bosoms because I really hate to see overly aggressive behaviour
( and my urge is not aggressive?)
And I said something because the snotty nosed kid was sooo upset at the telling off , it was sobbing in those staccato little cries kids cry when they can't quite breath in when overly upset,

" can you PLEASE stop yelling at that child!"  I called out in my best Stephen Fry voice
The woman stopped for the briefest of seconds , sneered and as an elderly woman in the queue behind me muttered a semi supportive " disgraceful " to no one in particular she told me to " fuck off!"
But then added the rather surprising personal insult of " Nonce"
" fuck off nonce"
NONCE? Where the hell did that come from?
Anyhow , I suddenly and rather  unexpectedly turned into Rita Fairclough from Coronation Street
and spat out a lusty
 " You had better watch your dirty mouth Laaaaa-dy" before the very tall Check out supervisor who looks like that chap off Pointless walked in between us saying  to the slag-in-a-singlet " hey non of that in here please!"

The whole thing left a rather bitter taste in my mouth
And after it was all over, I took myself to calm down in  marks and Spencer's food hall
The order and cool sight of beautifully arranged posh nosh
brings down the stress levels beautifully

Order out of chaos 
I shouldn't leave the village




115 comments:

  1. But did you leave Marks and Spencers with a scotch egg??? X

    ReplyDelete
  2. Kudos to you, John. You struck a blow for us all today. Sorry it had to be at the expense of your own equilibrium. Your trip to Marks and Spencer's was an excellent antidote.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Marty,
      Security turns away common singlets at the door!

      Delete
  3. Even though she shouted back at you, I bet that your words will stay with her. Perhaps, you did her some good, John.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I doubt it
      Common is
      What common does

      Delete
  4. Good for you for saying something John. I think it's the obligation of people to speak up when witnessing things like this in public. I have no tolerance for the "it's my child and I'll talk to them as I see fit and it's none of your business" response. It's EVERYONE'S business.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If only people really believed that

      Delete
  5. Unfortunately John, these kind of parents are breeding faster than the other type ......come 2020, they will be the norm .....well done anyway ! You would have made a good parent !

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unfortunately we shall never know

      Delete
    2. The dogs, cat and chickens would probably call you " dad " if they were able to speak ......

      Delete
    3. I suspect they would in fact say mom
      But thank you for that

      Delete
  6. You did stop her from screaming at the child, thank you for speaking up.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You would have done the same friend

      Delete
  7. That's sounds so much like something I would do that even the Great Scot, reading over my shoulder, muttered something about 'twins separated at birth'. Whether it lodged in clueless, classless broad's pea brain you can be quite certain the child took note and, even if it isn't a conscious memory, the thought has been planted in the little one's brain that they are worth standing up for.
    Good on you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The only sad thing that if the woman was yelling at a dog, I suspect more people would have said something

      Delete
  8. Good for you John. I am usually a very quiet, reserved person but sometimes incidents like this just push me over the edge. Don't make me angry, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry...

    ReplyDelete
  9. Had to look up Nonce. Bitch. I've never yelled at my kid in public. Low threatening tones work better. Ha. He's bigger than me now.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Apart from her being momentarily embarrassed, you really didn't win that one.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No I didn't I am afraid

      Delete
    2. Sometimes I wonder if people like her can even BE embarrassed. If they had any shame at all they wouldn't make such asses of themselves in public in the first place.

      Delete
    3. I have discussed this before... The notion of " not caring"
      Public shame no longer applies to some individuals

      Delete
  11. I am right there with you John. I can't understand why more and more people feel the need to air they foulness in public. Me, I used to threaten the kids with a quiet menace in my voice and not loudly, and if they cried for no reason, then I gave them a reason. It may not have helped them, but it gave me a kind of karma.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My mother just had to give me " the look"
      That's all that was needed

      Delete
    2. Oh yes, 'the Look of Death' my kids (28, 25,17) call it. Or the slight cough when the table manners are slipping, ie daughter, 17, not using the knife and fork together.

      I find it upsetting when parents, and yes a grandmother once, speaks to a 2 or 3 yr old as if the child is a stroppy teenager. It hurts in my belly when I see it.

      Delete
  12. Some kids are doomed from birth..poor sods.
    Jane x

    ReplyDelete
  13. You should have said you were from the Social.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Only too sadly, you are right about dogs probably defended more than children.
    Go eat a scotch egg! I had far too many mini scotch eggs on Sunday at my Great Nephews' christening 'do'...........Monday morning, I couldn't open the bedroom window soon enough. I'll never learn but, they were rather more-ish!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Unfortunately for the child, this is probably just the tip of the iceberg she's forced to deal with every day. I did a post similar to this a bit ago, a girl in a post office.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Do tell doc, what happened?

      Delete
    2. http://memoirsofacardiopulmonaryguy.blogspot.com/2014/05/he-pulled-on-hat-coat-and-gloves.html

      John--it's a fiction except for the overheard conversation in the post office. I just wove a story around it.

      Delete
  16. I tend to keep my mouth shut, for fear of exactly that response.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Well done you.

    That poor child must go through hell, as do so many. Parenting is a skill that really needs to be taught. The bitch in pink most likely had the same type of treatment when she was a child and thinks it's normal.

    It seems these days you show your children how much you love them by tattooing yourself with their name and 'bigging them up' on Facebook and then you can treat them how the hell you like.

    Makes my blood boil. I bet half the queue were completely glad you spoke up and wish they had had the guts to do so.

    A round of applause to the man hiding the scotch egg behind his back ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  18. I had to look up that word and for those that don't know it here's the definition. Nonce (slang), a British and Australian slang term for a sex offender, usually a sexual abuser of children.

    Which makes her comment particularly awful. I can;t think of too many worse insults. Which makes her a real stinking bitch.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Years I wonder just where nonce came from.....

      Delete
    2. It came from her need to hurt you. After all, she knew you were right. And she had to strike back, the worst way she could think of.

      Delete
  19. Well done you for saying something. Sadly all too often these 'Chavs' will reeply with a mouthful but then they just show themselves up even more. Now I remember why I find our local Waitrose calming!

    ReplyDelete
  20. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Your best Stephen Fry voice would maybe explain the nonce-comment, as sad and wrong as that is...
    It's hard isn'it, seeing a child that has such a poor chance of growing up well...
    The M&S picture made my mouth water. If we (the Dutch) win tonight, I might treat myself tomorrow. We have a big store in Amsterdam, yes!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not sure about the Stephen fry/ nonce connection.... But I agree on e marks food hall comment..... Mind you waitrose food halls are in my view. A real heaven

      Delete
    2. I know, I started wondering too about what I meant to say... all I know is I meant well but I didn't find the right words for it/ Shall I delete it? I LOVE Stephen Fry (and you ofcourse)!

      Delete
    3. No , don't delete it.. No need to x

      Delete
    4. okay, thanks. And btw: we won! So M&S, here I come. Don't have Waitrose over...

      Delete
  22. I know when i'm tired, i'm cranky, too, and it's harder for me to keep my mouth shut.

    I've had moments where my language can be as blue as a longshoreman's but i do try to refrain from such talk when i'm around a child. I do remember on one occasion when i heard a parent using language like that, asking the parent if she kissed her child with such a filthy mouth. She was dumbstruck for a moment, and i realised she was innured. Sad.

    As others have mentioned, the child, at least for a moment, saw someone sticking up for him. Good on you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can forgive any mother losing it with a kid. But that is usually fleeting ... This was an inyouface unnecessary tirade

      Delete
  23. These children are not learning how to get on in life. A disgrace. I think we've already bred nations of morons.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unfortunately morons tend to breed themselves
      But I guess we are all in someway responsible

      Delete
  24. Good for you!

    ReplyDelete
  25. I am a firm believer of (ACLU sit up and listen) even if you can doesn't mean you should. That is one person who should have never had a child.
    It makes me sad, angry and discouraged, that here in the border states children are use as money and for profit.

    cheers, parsnip

    ReplyDelete
  26. If I ever win the lottery I shall shop in waitrose all the time.........
    As for the bitch you encountered...well done for saying something, I am usually the 'giving a glare and muttering quietly' objector for my sins.
    What I feel and am about to say is something my social worker friend calls me a nazi for...some people should never never be allowed to have children..There I've said it again...........she will be furious with me!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well.. When you go to the RSPCA you get a home check at least in order to own a dog.

      Delete
  27. What a classless, ignorant cow. I feel for that small child who certainly did not ask for that lot in life.
    I agree with libby, some people should never be allowed to have kids, especially if they have been shown to be continuously abusive in any way. This of course goes against the USA grain of liberty for all, but I really do believe that those types of awful humans should be sterilized. Guess I am going to hell for that one. Oh well.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well I would go quite as far as that
      It's sometimes generations of family growing up dysfunction ally without someone around to role model effectively or to say " don't do it that way...try this way"
      I got angry and confrontational for the right reasons
      What I wish I had the balls to do
      Was to take this woman to one side and explain to her she was doing it all wrong.
      Oh yes....l that really would have worked

      Delete
    2. LOL She would have probably accused you of assaulting her. You are a kinder soul than me that is for sure, but yes, generational dysfunction is an awful thing and it is a shame we can't combat it better.

      Delete
    3. She couldn't prove it,,, not unless she looked like Russ Crowe
      ( and she didn't) x

      Delete
  28. Well done you. I did a similar thing in a massive shopping centre when a bloke left a 5ish year old in charge of a toddler while he went into a shop. There was stairs and escalator within spitting distance and the place was heaving with people. Luckily I and other shoppers sat on benches kept them safely away from stirs etc until their moronic father came out of the shop some 10 minutes later. I gave him a right tongue lashing and got a round of applause. We have to stick up for kids who are unfortunate enough to have complete tw@ts as parents.
    I hope a scotch egg or 3 restored your equilibrium.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The cool aisles of the chilled food hall in marks' restored my soul

      Delete
  29. your first mistake was going into Tescos at all.

    You haven't seen anything till you have seen Asda on a Saturday night, women wandering around in either non existent clothes, the colour of the tango man (we need to bring that back, so they are embarrassed of themselves), looking like Street Walkers. or the ones going in there in the mornings on the way to school and they are wearing pajamas. both look a sight. Kids are being 'dragged up'. We are making celebrities out of all the wrong people. There is only 1 David Beckham and everyone is convinced little MacKenzie is going to be the next David. All the kids want to be famous. We need more Brian Cox's on the TV and more Dick Strawbridge's than Joey Essex.

    Order your food online, your blood pressure will thank you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think small famuily's need a surrogate granny to teach EM How to paret

      Delete
  30. Chavtastic......good on you. I feel the pull of M and S, Booths and Waitrose more and more ��

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. When waitrose first came to Sheffield Michael
      I used to cross the city just to look at the ordered shelves and the silent aisles

      Delete
  31. Well done you John. I rarely go into Tesco because I order on line,
    but I did go in this morning and I was ashamed of the way some of the young women were dressing/behaving/treating their children/stuffing their faces (9am) - as an ex teacher, these poor kids are trouble in the making and it is the fault of the parents already.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How do we as a society Najee things better pat?

      Delete
  32. That child's staccato little cries are probably overheard by quite a few people in a week, all of whom do nothing about them. One can only imagine the homelives of these children. I'm with Libby on this one. Unfortunately, that particular child will more than likely end up shouting at her own children - unless someone steps in and teaches her otherwise or helps her escape the confines of her under-class family. Have you read the book 'Casual Vacancy' by JK Rowling? As a piece of social history, it's bang on the money.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Looking the book up right after this comment

      Delete
  33. I am goin go have to make your 60th comment by saying that I think your behaviour was utterly disgraceful.

    I don't believe it, but I thought I would say it - NONCE!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nonce indeed!
      At least she didn't call me cheap

      Delete
  34. Nothing like M&S to calm you down. Well done for saying something mister. Thank god for people like you. Nonce? I am snorting now.

    ReplyDelete
  35. What on earth is a singlet?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. See
      http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_oCrRmo1NSQ0/S_QApf4GqgI/AAAAAAAAD70/Nva62cl6qWg/s1600/run+zoom+singlet.jpg

      But add 150 lbs

      Delete
  36. Thank you. It is probably too late for the mother (even if she wanted to change) but hopefully that moppet heard that someone thinks they are worth better treatment than that. A small (but important) seed to plant.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Funny you posted this because I had something much like this happen to me on Saturday and was thinking of posting it. This involved a lady returning the plastic cord for her weed whipper (you call it a strimmer I believe)at the local hardware store. There was one man in front of me, and 3 people behind me in line, so she had maybe a 5 minute wait. That wasn't good enough for her, she was screaming at the worker that she wanted her money back RIGHT NOW, and no she wasn't going to wait, she wanted immediate service. The lady behind me said, "You can go in front of me", so she was right behind me and I felt like the top of my head was going to blow off. I said nothing, but wanted to so badly my teeth hurt from me gritting my teeth. In America, we call that white trash! common is too polite for the people like that. Self absorbed, the world owes them something.......you know the type. Glad you spoke up.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Often we don't say anything because the reaction is just bloody hard work to deal with

      What I really wanted to do is to strangle the silly cow with her own grey bra straps

      Delete
    2. Grey bra straps... like colour grey, or not washed grey??

      Delete
    3. Unwashed!
      How very dreadful

      Delete
  38. I am always afraid that if I say something I will get punched. An insult is bad, but I can deal with those by talking back. I can't punch worth a darn, though.

    Years ago, when my husband and I saw something similar, I wanted to say something but my husband (who grew up with a father not afraid to hurt him) said that the parent might take out their spleen even worse on the child when they got home. That made me think, and restrain myself. These days, the public here have a legal obligation to report child abuse - not just those dealing with children like teachers, etc. but every single person.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My elder sister once saw a shivering child on the beach in Portugal he mother had wandered off
      Not only did my sister comfort the child, she watched over her until the mother returned then gave the woman a ticking off

      Delete
  39. yuck. Shake it off John.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I did after gazing at marks and Spencer's lovely party food

      Delete
    2. gazing or grazing?

      Delete
  40. Your sister refuses to shop in Tesco after witnessing a screaming match between two young women surrounded by young children, the sight of one little boy silently weeping was just too much, life is tough enough without the burden of useless parents. You did the right thing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I said before tim, that the notion of public shame has disappeared with many people
      Mores the pity

      Delete
  41. Five years ago a young woman came into the ER with her two year olds hand mostly cut off. She had been mowing her yard while holding a two year old and a three year old and of course dropped one. Ever since, WHENEVER I see some eejit mowing with a small child in their lap I stop, walk up to them and very politely tell them my story. No one thanks me. They ALL get defensive, most tell me to get screwed but still I do it. GOOD FOR YOU SIR JOHN!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your story made my teeth itch!

      Delete
  42. Good for you, John. It's hard to speak up.

    ReplyDelete
  43. Rock on! Poor child, not a chance. xx

    ReplyDelete
  44. Nonce? I'll have to Google that one. I hope it doesn't upset me too much. I really don't like it when people yell at their kids, and I hated myself when I did it even though Favorite Young Man's friends claimed I didn't yell nearly as much as their moms did. They also said they didn't mind when I sang with the music on the car radio because I sang better than their moms. Maybe I wasn't as bad a parent as I think I was.

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
  45. Reading your blog, it is evident that you weren't
    Xxx

    ReplyDelete
  46. Oh my goodness! I just looked up nonce. That woman can go straight to hell and if you ever see her again you tell her I said so.

    Love again,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
  47. Ps..... Go on.... Let's make 100 comments

    ReplyDelete
  48. "And after it was all over, I took myself to calm down in Marks and Spencer's"

    A "terribly British" reaction to a kerfuffle

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. At least I am dependable x

      Delete
  49. I am so late to the gathering today but just had to weigh in. Good for you John. As Kelly said earlier, over here we call her type "nasty white trash". Sadly, there's the young child who's caught in the middle and no doubt being brought up with verbal abuse and God only knows what else. Makes my head ache.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Better late than never Camille xxxx

      Delete
  50. OK, I'll help out. Sad story John, some children just don't stand a chance. Good on you for speaking out. I think you need to pop over to Frugal in Suffolk and have a shower! Jan B. 7 to go.

    ReplyDelete
  51. eeek, I see you've passed 100, comments that is.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am so easily pleased jan

      Delete
  52. I'm glad you spoke up. If she screams at her child in public, I hate to think what the home life is like.

    ReplyDelete
  53. I've often thought that people who abuse their children in public must be even more abusive in private. Scary thought.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think it's more worrying that they are as abusive wherever they are

      Delete
  54. Some people should never be allowed to have kids. Simple as that.
    Glad you were strong enough to speak up, even if it didn't do any good right then.
    Organized shelves like that are calming, aren't they? Have a good Thursday, John.

    ReplyDelete
  55. Oh John, I'm sorry that this happened and this child will grow up to be just like it's mother because it won't know any better. As a teacher, I call these children, feral children, because they grow up without any nurturing. Very sad. We can pray that she's sterile now....

    ReplyDelete
  56. I think it's all over.

    ReplyDelete
  57. Now I'm not going to get out of my head Chevy Chase mouthing the words of Paul Simon's song - "Will you be my bodyguard.....?" (It's a compliment to you, J.G.)

    ReplyDelete
  58. The kid don't stand a chance, poor little bugger. Now if you'll excuse me I'm off to scream at mine, they've only dug half a veg bed all afternoon - slackers!
    Very unbritish but sometimes you've just got to say something so fair play. I remember being at Wolverhampton dog races and correcting thug who ordered his beers without saying please. I seriously thought I was going to get done in, but I didn't show my fear and he turned back to the bar maid and added a reluctant "please". The I then walked briskly away before he realised what had happened!

    ReplyDelete
  59. Bless you for saying something in defense of that poor child! I actually had trouble falling asleep last night because I was so upset thinking about it.

    ReplyDelete
  60. Good on you John, you are my hero… a bit of Mother Teresa, Joan of Arc, oh and you do look a bit Russell Crowe ish.

    ReplyDelete

I love comments and will now try very hard to reply to all of them x