Friday, 2 May 2014

Shopping

" Oh God.........not another salesperson"
 It's Chris' birthday tomorrow and I haven't bought his birthday gift as yet. Tomorrow I am taking him to Bodysgallen Hall ( below) for a posh afternoon tea, but this afternoon I will have to run the gauntlet of the " nice " shops in Chester to see if I can find something appropriate for a curly moustached academic with a penchant for the finer things in life

For many an afternoon troll in designer bespoke shops would be a delight.
I find the prospect nothing less than excruciating .
This morning I wanted to plant out the rest of my potatoes. (The ground is just warm enough for someone to rest a bare arse in the soil) but I will have to forgo this in order to cobble together an outfit that doesn't quite make me look like the gardener out of Downton Abbey . I don't want the salesperson's of Chester looking at me like the shop owner did to Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman
Wish me luck!


102 comments:

  1. Hello John:

    We have emerged from the antique shop (!!!!) to wish you happy shopping in Chester but, more so, to wish Chris many, many happy returns of the day.

    And we happily recall in our Herefordshire days planting main crop potatoes - all that 'chitting'!!

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    1. A Hattatts comment!
      I am honoured x

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    2. You are indeed! What a fascinating couple they appear to be.

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    3. I was convinced that they were not real people for a long time jan

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    4. I can believe that. I have added them to my list. I have a little list....

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  2. Why not make him a voucher for a foot rub and a cuddle with Winnie ;-)

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    1. He would rather stick needles in his eyes

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  3. hooo no not chester nice for wandering but not real shopping plant the spuds and buy somethink from the corner shop

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    1. I'm with Suzie. Failing that just speak with a plum in your mouth and you may be considered a rich eccentric.

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  4. Surely taking Chris out for a nice afternoon tea is enough. Say yes, and it will save me some angst next year.

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    1. Oh no, he will have to have a gift to open tomorrow
      Or there will be tears by bedtime

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  5. What your money is no good if you are wearing crocs? Those supercilious shop keepers need you a lot more than you need them! Chin up and be proud of being as grotty as you want to be. Ha!

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    1. Thanks I think x

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    2. Hmm, not sure about that one either!

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  6. You're a bit late getting your spuds in Earl. Mine went in a fortnight ago. Another idea for Chris's birthday gift would have been an Edwardian moustache crimper - silver of course.

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  7. Buying personal gifts is a nightmare, I think. I am still trying to get to the bottom of this statement - "(The ground is just warm enough for someone to rest a bare arse in the soil)" What?!

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    1. It's a country saying
      Get your potatoes in the ground when you can comfortably park your bare arse in the mud

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  8. The tea house looks lovely. How about a posh teacup and some fancy tea to have at home to go along with the silver mustache crimper?

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    1. A moustache crimper is ideal

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  9. poor john; I would bring chris some flowers and take him to tea. plant your spuds and let the doggies rest their bare arses in the soil.

    or is it YOUR arse?

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  10. I shouldn't worry too much John... the shopkeepers of Chester will probably smell you coming. It was only after I left the farm that 'friends' told me I always had the aroma of cows hanging about my person!

    LLX

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    Replies
    1. I'm sensing a theme!

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    2. I can take it...come on someone else insult me nicely

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  11. May I suggest a solid silver Scotch egg container for Chris. If he didn't like it, you could always use it yourself.

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  12. Happy birthday to Chris....can't you shop online in Wales?????

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  13. I'm sure you'll pick out the right gift. Is he choosy? And if the shop owners give you a hard time you can always come back like Julia Roberts did in a later scene and say "big mistake!".

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    1. With my big hair and thigh length faux leather boots

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  14. Sales people in upscale shops can be incredibly snotty and patronising. They seem to only want the rait taip of people in their premises. If I'm obliged to enter such a shop (like Jo Malone) I can't wait to make my purchase and rush out again as fast as possible to a normal shop with friendlier sales staff.

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    1. Jo malone
      Bloody hell how very posh

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    2. Jenny loves Jo Malone perfumes!

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  15. It will be a lovely tea! I checked their website and it is beautiful. Happy Birthday to Chris.

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    1. It's a lovely setting linda I agree

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  16. happy birthday to chris!!!

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  17. Happy Birthday to Chris, and a successful shopping trip to yourself. Have you thought about taking a shopping advisor with you? I find that, whenever I accompany someone (such as my sister, mother, boyfriend etc.) to the shops because THEY are looking for something specific, it is usually ME who ends up carrying bags full of clothes home - the less I look, the more I seem to find. So, maybe you should play shopping advisor to someone else, and you'd end up with a superb outfit.

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    1. I bought Chris's pressie and a plastic 1£ lemon squeezer for myself

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    2. You mad devil!

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  18. Many happy returns of the day Chris …… I know that John will give you a celebration to remember.
    Happy present hunting John ! XXXX

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    1. Yeah, I'll nick his sandwiches

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  19. Best of British!
    Jane x

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  20. I hope you found something.

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    1. A retail trip from hades

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  21. Flowers picked from the garden, a freshly baked cake, a kiss and a promise should be all he requires from you!

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  22. I spent a whole day shopping in Chester recently at a friend's request and nearly lost the will to live, but was revived by a very good lunch and glass of wine! Have a lovely afternoon tea at Bodysgallen (it's gorgeous isn't it?) and wish Chris Happy Birthday from us.

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    1. Thanks val , btw don't read the last post....I may ask you to look after the dogs again

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    2. Too late, already read it! Always happy to look after the dogs again, as long as it's at your place!!! Having lived with 2 dogs, Peter's tolerance of all things mucky AND doggy is not all that great (something I suspect he and Chris may have in common...)

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    3. Lol, I'll keep you to that

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  23. I used to believe in strog drink before shopping until I came home with a cashmere blazer. Good luck.

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  24. The older I get, the less I like shopping. I always was a buyer, a man on a mission to get in, get what I want and get out. That is hard to do when I don't know what I want.

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    1. Shhhhh but don't tell chris, but I kinda enjoyed walking around the shops with a scotch egg

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  25. If anyone gives you trouble in the shoppes it would be a mistake. "A Big Mistake!" Now give Chris something made of leather, no not restraints, a case of some sort. Because, like you...it will just get better with age.

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  26. Good luck, John! And Happy Birthday Chris!

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  27. Commiserations, John. Men (after a certain age) are a nightmare to buy presents for. They either have everything already or don't want any more. So, hot tip of the day and it works a treat: Give consumables. You know, a dead hot bottle of wine - providing the year he was born is vintage. It'll only set you back a small mortgage. Or cheese. Or knit him a tie. I once knitted my father a tie. Yellow. It was long and thin. Doable if pushed for time. I still feel for him.

    Happy air kisses for Chris - if it kills me.

    U

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    1. He sends you a mwaaaaahhhh back

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  28. Good luck. I am sure you'll find something John. You are obviously one of those irritating people who leaves everything to the last minute. What about when you were in London the other day - couldn't you have found something then?

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    1. We were too busy galloping around closed tube stations pat

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  29. I have spuds growing where they shouldn't from last year and nothing from where they should from this year! typical lol. I hate shopping along with having haircuts and going to the dentist so good luck x

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    1. Just back!
      It was a chore

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  30. Oh, we'll be needing pictures of you in the new duds, my friend. But...are you sure Chris will recognize you if you don't look like a gardener from Downton? He'll feel like he's cheating on his beloved scruffy fiancé!

    (PS A lesbian couple we're very close to is on their way to Washington DC to get legally married this weekend. So many wedding bells in the air, one day it will be me and my chef, dammit!)

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  31. Sending Chris wishes for a very Happy Birthday tomorrow !
    I'm sure Browns of Chester will find Chris something to tickle his fancy :)
    Enjoy your 'high tea' will their be trifle ..... {drool}.
    ~Jo

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  32. Good luck shopping, I dislike shopping, myself...
    Happy Birthday to Chris tomorrow, I am sure he will like whatever you choose for him!

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  33. wishing you luck...and Chris an extremely happy birthday!

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  34. Good luck, City of Chester, yonder comes a shopper.

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    1. Well I bought THE gift........and it WAS hard work

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  35. ummmmmmmmmm I like the outfit the gardener wore !
    Happy Birthday to Chris and...
    Let there be Cake !

    cheers, parsnip

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  36. I'm sure you found the perfect gift, you'll look very handsome, and Chris will have a great birthday, but we'll all need to see photos!

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    1. If it was up to me Kim, I'd buy him a Scottie

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  37. "The ground is just warm enough for someone to rest a bare arse in the soil"

    An interesting temperature-scale, but who does the measuring?

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    1. I do Andrew
      Big arse in soil

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  38. Deepest commiserations... hate shopping.
    But if you have done the deed you can now relax with a nice glass of chilled.
    And a very Happy Birthday to Chris.

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    1. Thanks Jess... I think I will x

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  39. Good luck. I too hate, loathe, despise shopping. Except for plants or books.
    And happy birthday to Chris.

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  40. Glad you got that sorted. Happy birthday to Chris!

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    1. Thank you Megan on his behalf

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  41. Happy birthday, Chris, shouted loudly from over here to over there. I know you will love anything John put himself together to procure for you!

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  42. I hope you managed to find just what you were looking for. I haven't been to Chester in an age, but love an ice cream down by the river whenever I manage to get there. Em :0)

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    1. Hello Mimi
      Love the avatar x

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  43. No bare bottoms in the dirt around here. IF the thistles don't get you the fire ants just might!
    Our potatoes are out, too. Haven't tried growing them here, so hopefully my black thumb is up to the task.

    Happy Birthday to Chris! ♥

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  44. Happiest birthday wishes to Chris from this side of the pond!

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  45. Happy birthday to Chris!!!

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  46. Happy birthday Chris from an old Kentish Maid to a young Kentish Man!

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  47. A girl after my own heart! I find less and less I actually want to buy nowadays. Maybe it's an age thing. Good luck with your search x

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    1. Thank you Jayne
      Welcome aboard x

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  48. Hi John, nothing to do with this post but I've spoken to Tom this morning and he's in UCH, getting sawn up! He just wanted to thank you for your advice and help, and no doubt he'll be in touch once he's on the right side of the scalpel!

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    1. Thanks for letting me know!
      I was thinking about him this morning

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  49. Happy birthday to Chris!

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  50. Happy birthday to Chris, and good luck!

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  51. Thank you carol and john
    He liked the designer tie I bought him
    It was bloody expensive too.....
    Did my head in buying it

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  52. I hope the birthday was an expression of your mutual love. So, basically, any good thing you buy will be just fine. Don't leave the price tag on it.

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