Sunday, 6 April 2014

Oh no ....NO NO Noah!

Chris is off to Paris via Kent today...so me, Albert and the dogs shared a roast chicken and the leftover prawn crackers from last night's takeaway
( dogs absolutely adore prawn crackers if you didn't know....and even Winifred, who had never eaten one before coming to Wales, can cram a whole five inch one in her gob at one go.
Such are the little treats on a Sunday!
Now I have just sat through perhaps one of the oddest movie epics EVER...yes I finally took umbrage at Tom Stephenson's unfathomable hatred of Mr Russell Crowe and took myself off to see Noah
.....".I cannot think of anything quite so bizarre as Noah! " 
( sounds like one of the reject songs from the Sound of Music)
It's the weirdest thing since Ed Miliband .



Gone is the simple two sentence tale of a 1960s childhood, where all we knew about Noah was the animal pairs up the gangplank bit and now we have an angst fantasy story where giant stone monster angels construct a giant car park of an ark whilst Russell Crowe's Australian sounding Noah, battles with the cockney king of the barbarian's Ray Winstone whilst Welsh accented Anthony Hopkins does his Gollum impersonation on top of Mordor Mountain.
Bring back that Archers sounding nursery song " the animals came in two by two"
Ok......I did allow myself a small smile, when Noah stood before the truly impressive arrival of the bird flocks......but as for the rest!
It's a huge pile of old shite
I walked out before the end......and I wasn't the first

44 comments:

  1. thanks for that john i am with you all the way

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  2. Our dogs absolutely adore prawn crackers (try Aldi's - lovely) and also poppadoms/papadums (depending on how you spell it). They also love crisps - in fact they love anything they can fit in their mouths really!

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    1. I think they adore the way the cracker " pops" in their mouths

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  3. Oh shit. We're off to see it now and I've prepaid. :0(

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    1. Let me know what you thought

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  4. I will not be wasting two hours of my life. However, I have been able to waste a whole lot more today in other ways. Thanks anyway.

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    Replies
    1. Pour yourself a wine and waste a little more

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  5. John, oh John, we went to see it last night, and I can't really add anything to you sound appraisal of it. Between the cockney geezer led army and the Ent like angels, it was a truly bizarre misrepresentation of the actual story. Having said that, the circular rainbows filling the sky at the end were quite pretty.

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    1. I left before those appeared gary.......
      Thank the Creator!

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  6. So, don't bother going to see it then ...

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  7. oh god it was that bad? We are supposed to see it this week... may Hercules instead

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    Replies
    1. You may enjoy it....even with mr Crowe and his attractive set of sons in it,,,I didn't

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  8. My partner saw it last week. He said it was interesting. He also said I would have hated it.

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    1. Well it did make me reD about noah on Wikipedia...so I guess it was interesting

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  9. I am glad I don't go to see films….I might watch on TV when they eventually come on, and then I can stop if I don't like! Actually paid to see " Philomena" on Virgin this afternoon and really enjoyed it. Might also pay to see the 2nd Hunger Games film next weekend…I enjoyed the first one having read the book.

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    Replies
    1. Catching Fire is really good - nearly as good as the book :)

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    2. Frances - I watched Chasing Fire last night. I thought it was even better than Hunger Games. Philomena is next on my list. Have heard nothing but good things about it. Good Minds think alike.

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  10. It has received TERRIBLE reviews here. Not that I ever pay them much attention. In fact, it seems usually a movie that has been panned by the most critics is the one I end up liking. Just my contrary nature, I guess. However, if YOU"VE panned it, I won't be wasting my money on it. Thanks for saving me ten bucks and two hours!

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  11. hmmm got the feeling Russell Crowe wasn't too proud of it. What a waste of the lovely Mr Crowe. Bring back 'The Beautiful Mind' and 'Master and Commander' Thanks for the review.

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  12. I've read a bit about how much the director consciously divagated from the story as told in the Bible, and wondered how in the world he tried to rationalize all the oddments thrown in there! The clashing accents would drive me batty, now that you've brought them to my attention.

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  13. Good to know. If I feel I must see it on a big screen, I'll wait till it hits the super-cheap theater.
    If you like a ridiculous amount of violence - and Scarlett Johansen -
    I can say that the latest Captain America is now in theaters.

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  14. Sorry to hear that. That may be the only chance for some to learn of Noah.

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  15. Yes, I heard you ought to just wait until the DVD is out!

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  16. Like Nana I will wait for the DVD...don't want to waste $$ on a not too good movie ....thanks!

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  17. Short of Googling it... what is a Prawn Cracker?
    I'm a silly yanke and haven't heard of those before here and now.
    :)
    Ruth in Oxnard

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    1. Deep fried rice crisp flavoured with prawn

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    2. what Brits call prawns, Yanks say shrimp.

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  18. I agree I seen this movie this week at the pictures and all I can say it was different

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  19. Thank you, John. Now I won't waste my money. I suspected it wasn't going to be very good.
    Your dogs are lucky.
    Have a great week.

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  20. Replies
    1. Smart fucking arse

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    2. But I was right though, wasn't I?

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  21. I don't like bible flics anyway. I 'd rather see The Muppets, they are more real.

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    1. The muppets in the bible?
      I missed that afternoon at Sunday school x

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  22. I have only heard bad reviews of this movie. Don't know what a prawn cracker is, but I have no doubt my dogs would love them.

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  23. Prawns are similar to shrimp.

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    Replies
    1. They taste like chicken

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  24. I wasn't all that interested in seeing it in the first place - will take your advice and steer clear.

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  25. I haven't seen any Prawn chips here but I love them.
    Watson is crazy for fortune cookies. I buy him a bag every once in awhile.

    cheers, parsnip

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  26. It never rains but it pours.

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  27. Wonderful. Thanks for the review - you've just saved me nine quid. More old CGI tosh from LaLalLand.

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  28. These days, can't afford to go to the pics, have to wait for it to come on the old gogglebox......

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