Sunday, 2 February 2014

Here's To You Mrs Robinson

I am waiting for a chicken to cook. Then I can retrieve it from the oven to cool so I can go out for a walk. Chris is off to London at 1pm,  so I need to get an early lunch ready, he is busy sorting the academic world of research out in his office.
I have been clearing clinkers out of the living room stove.
" ok lads , same again!"

For over twenty minutes Winifred has been trying to seduce George. Her method , me feels, is based on Anne Bankcroft's performance of Mrs Robinson in The Graduate , albeit just slightly more subtle.
Back up to prospective victim
Push vagina slowly into face
Wait for a reaction.
I am sure that this ploy has worked very effectively for her in the past.
George however, unlike Dustin Hoffman, is not interested and has spent the time counting the small green leaf designs on the living room wallpaper.
That's my boy!

Many many moons ago now, I was subjected to a rather florid seduction attempt from an older woman who bore a remarkable resemblance to Joanna Lumley ( well to her alter ego Patsy Stone actually) Luckily I don't remember that much about this unfortunate interlude, (thanks to the mind numbing properties of Gordon's gin) But at least , it can be said that
I have ticked that particular box so to speak....
A box, thank goodness, that I shall not be revisiting anytime soon.



49 comments:

  1. In my case, she was younger and thought getting me drunk and stoned would turn me into a straight bloke. Might have worked if she wasn't of Greek heritage and so hairy. Nah, it wouldn't have really, regardless.

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    Replies
    1. Why do women always make the wrong choices?

      Is that a sexist question, or just an empirical observation?

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    2. Oh... I'll ask the one who eventually chose me...

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    3. Well it depends if you want to be chosen

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  2. it sounds as if there are a lot of bamboozled peeps around!

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  3. Koo-koo-ka-choo, Mrs. Robinson . . .
    hey, hey . . . ho

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    Replies
    1. Jesus loves you more than you will know.

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  4. That particular ploy never worked for me either John !!!!!!!!! hahaha
    Have a nice lunch !!!! XXXX

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  5. we'd like to know a little bit about your style
    we'd like to help you learn to help yourself

    heh :)

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  6. If you're waiting for a chicken to cook, you could be waiting for some time. They're not known for helping out in the kitchen.

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    Replies
    1. He does that to all the ladies

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    2. I'm fun-size at heart...

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  7. as always great post and great comments!!!

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  8. poor winnie, i remember those days so well.

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  9. you always bring a smile to my face !!!!!!!!!

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    Replies
    1. You are not the first one to say that x

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  10. Always entertaining, frequently amazing

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  11. I thought back to our animals in first heat, before a trip to the vet. Fiona, the Cairn, wasted several days trying to seduce a very puzzled Angus. I do remember all the male cats following Xenia around, though, asking each other if they should be doing something.

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    Replies
    1. Yes it gets painfully noisy sometimes

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  12. There is a bubble coming out of that Scottie's head which I can read quite clearly John. It says "Scottie/Bulldog cross? I don't think so."

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  13. Count your blessings that you don't have a Siamese cat in heat. OMG - I remember the pitiful, and painful to the ears, yowls! I got desperate in the night and opened the door to send her out strolling!

    Nancy (now in Savannah)

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  14. John, just remember one thing: Jesus loves you more than you will know.

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  15. Lets have some more Simon and Garfunkel, John. There is a northwest connection = 'Homeward Bound' was written at Widnes train station. I am a mine of useless information. You always make me laugh -thanks!

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  16. You tart Winifred ! I love her x

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  17. Poor George !

    cheers, parsnip

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  18. A gay man and a cougar's box....ready when you are, Mr DeMille....

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  19. When Lulu had her first season she rubbed her rear up against everyone including my father who was eighty at the time.
    It was acutely embarrassing and cringeworthy.

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  20. God bless you, please, Mrs. Robinson, heaven holds a place for those who pray. Perhaps I shall try out Winnie's seductive method on Willy Dunne Wooters.

    Love,
    Janie

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  21. How very dare you !!!!!! XXXX

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  22. When I was in my early twenties, an older woman, owner of a local shop, tried to seduce me but I was too intimidated by her worldly-wise air to respond. A pity, I would probably have learnt a lot!

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  23. George does look quite bored. Have a good week, John!

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  24. I have to say that your post made me laugh out loud. Way out loud. And then, I read the comments. Great entertainment for my night! lol

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  25. "Back up to prospective victim
    Push vagina slowly into face
    Wait for a reaction."

    No young (or even old) ladies seemed to be aware of that technique when I was around them.

    Maybe it was just something about me.

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  26. Brilliant post and even better comments .....

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  27. The advantage to catching up on your blog posts is getting to read a great entry and great comments.

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  28. Life isn't always easy especially when hormones are involved. But how gorgeous is Goerge?!!

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  29. Reminds me of when my kitten went into heat before her spay surgery. It was not pretty.

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