Wednesday, 4 September 2013

"Put the cake down......walk away from the cake!"


It's time to go back to weightwatchers
I slipped out of my crocs when checking on the pond this morning
And rolled down the incline like a baby hippo with shorts on.
There is nothing more sobering to a fat person than rolling about in the dirt

A few years ago I lost over three stone ( 51 lbs) at weight watchers.
And it's time to return
I need the discipline of a weekly weigh in .
Come the zombie apocalypse
Fat people get caught and eaten  first!
So I have just got my weekly Weight Watchers pass
And I will be going to the local " meeting" on Friday morning.
Now....where are my lightest pants?

48 comments:

  1. Good luck with WW, my meeting is on Thursdays. If I could dance I could audition for the Rolley Polley(not sure I've spelt that right)dance troop.Don't know much about zombies, but the fact that they eat fat people first maybe the incentive I need to try harder!

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  2. I am the heaviest I have ever been in my life. I no longer have a suit or even a pair of trousers that I can get into. Someone took a photograph of me sitting in the Jango and all I could see was my shirt straining at the buttons revealing chunks of unsightly flesh.

    And yes, in the dark I fall over regularly; my knees are permanently skinned.

    Good luck with the weight watchers!

    Btw, do you know how to lose 12 pounds of ugly fat immediately? Cut yer head off...

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  3. Wear your heaviest pants for you first weigh-in (and stuff rocks in your pockets).

    You really do need to post cameras around your property. We miss so much!

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    Replies
    1. I draw the line at everyone seeing me rolling in the first like a pig

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  4. They make you strip down to your pants for the weigh in? Isn't that a bit extreme?

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    Replies
    1. And empty your bladder beforehand

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  5. O I would love to have seen that. Just the thought of it had me giggling, thankyou for the image and good luck with weight watchers x

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  6. I am sorry John -

    ' I slipped out of my crocs when checking on the pond this morning
    And rolled down the incline like a baby hippo with shorts on.
    There is nothing more sobering to a fat person than rolling about in the dirt'

    this is one of the funniest things I have read in a long time. So descriptive! It made me laugh out loud!

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  7. how many points is a scotch egg?

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    Replies
    1. Only 6,, on the new points system?? Mmmmmm.

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  8. A ram, eh? Now, Bingley will have some competition cuddling up to you.

    In the zombie chase picture above, Otis was eaten, not because of being fat. But, the arse hole, Shane put a bullet in his leg.

    TWD season 4 begins here, October 13. Start exercising quickly.

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    Replies
    1. I know!
      Hope that daryl washes his hear this season!

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  9. Wear lots of layers the first week, just a little less on Week 2 (because your 1st weight loss doesn't count towards 'Slimmer of the Week' and the prize of fruit.) Then on Week 3, get yer lightest pants on, shave yer legs and underarms, pluck yer eyebrows and trim your beard and eyelashes. Just before going on the scales, have a wee and a poo - and hey presto! a great weight loss just when you thought you's blown it by bingeing on Scotch Eggs. Simples!

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  10. I'm been nothing but eating cake, crisps and chocolate. Hands slap. My excuse is I haven't got time to cook. Been really busy putting fences up. Horses taken them down. Good job the summer is nearly over so I can hide in jumpers.
    Rosezeeta.

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  11. I think you ought to get rid of the crocs, then you wouldn't be falling over so much in the first place! Didn't you do the same thing at the supermarket check out?

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    Replies
    1. I am always falling over
      I have a special,awareness problem......
      Ie, I am a clumsy bastard

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  12. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-23931078

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    Replies
    1. Wow!
      I would get a degree in a year!

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  13. I recommend Mary Berry's Angel Cake

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  14. Weight Watchers really does work...and you eat normal foods. I always wore my lightest weight clothing and sucked in as if that helped :) Good luck to you. you should be slim and svelte in no time ready for the holidays eating!

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  15. I've never been able to walk away from the cake. It's my weakness. I see you're a fan of The Walking Dead...I am now watching season 3. It's awesome.

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    Replies
    1. I am a daryl and carol fan

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  16. I have my PHD in WW. It is a lifelong journey.

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  17. The stone & a half I lost has fought it's way back so I might be joining you.

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  18. I've been following my own patented 'Adonis in a month' WILLPOWER method... It doesn't seem to be working.

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  19. Oh good luck! I'm too scared to go back... it's like WW has wanted posters out there looking for wayward Croc-wearing hippos.

    My crocs are pink. Yours?

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  20. You need to join the SEA (Scotch Eggoholics Anonymous)... "Hi! I'm John and I'm a scotch eggoholic". Then you can share your story with other scotch eggoholics and get back on the road to recovery.

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  22. John,

    I so know how you feel my friend. It didn't take me to fall over and roll down the hill to feel this way.

    Several years back I joined WW, and before weighing in I would make sure to wear my light clothes, shave my legs (lol), and not drink water hours before a meeting because it adds weight to the scale.

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  23. I also laughed at your description. I feel like the Pillsbury Doughboy's sister, and am whipping my sorry butt into shape because our first hockey clinic is 20 October. They've put the ice in early this year at the rink (they don't keep it over summer), and i want to be there on the first day they allow skating 6 Sept, to shake off some of the rust and get moving.

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  24. Do you want fries with that? Oops, wrong question...

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  25. Ah, if only cake were the sole temptation out there. You might have to send Chris to do the shopping until you get the Scotch egg out of your system.

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  26. My advice - cut out the scotch eggs and train yourself to dislike cake intensely.

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    Replies
    1. I only have two scotch eggs a week now pat

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  27. I don't suppose the temptation on the Bake Off is helping your cause. Lots of nice slimming black slacks and clingy polo-necks are the order of the day. x

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    Replies
    1. I would be better off in a small tent

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  28. Hahaha. Sorry John. *hugs*.
    Don't forget to take your wallet out (or leave it in the car); wear your lightest shoes, too. ;-)

    Good luck, John! ♥

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  29. High protein diet. Herbalife shakes. I've lost quite a bit this way.

    Love,
    Janie

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  30. Good luck. I feel your pain. And whenever I decide to cut back and eat right it seems I panic or something - I eat everything going.

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  31. I keep paying for the online version of WW yet ignoring the rules.... I am inspired by you, will do better.

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  32. Oh yes I do so recognise this. Did WW twice, both times really successfully but then after time it creeps back on 'sigh'! Especially hard as Niall can eat & drink what he likes and still has his 31 inch waist exactly as he did when I 1st met him in '84....

    here's to willpower

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