Saturday, 28 September 2013

Don't do it.....


I haven't had a scotch egg in nearly two weeks!
I had to get petrol on the way home and spied a lonely one sat
all forlorn and pathetic in the fridge section 
of the spar garage
It waved shyly at me
I waved back
It whispered " buy me now"
I shook my head
" I can't "
I said.. But I knew I had £ 1.99 to buy it
It blew a kiss at me
And I am sure the receptionist  at the garage
Shouted over 
" remember you are at weightwatchers on Monday"
Just in time..
I bought a diet coke

51 comments:

  1. wow John, strong stuff! would of inhaled it in the car. as everyone knows food eaten under the cover of darkness and without anyone to witness it, have no calories

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh well done, and well written!

    ReplyDelete
  3. You don't want a stale old Scotch egg from the gas station. You have a couple of lovely home made ones in the freezer; treats, you know.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know.... But I am " keeping those for best"
      Or an emergency

      Delete
  4. You probably saved yourself the trouble of eating a petrol station egg that is more likely wrapped in cardboard rather than meat. Come work with me for a bit and you won't have to go on weight watchers!

    ReplyDelete
  5. don't you have some in the freezer?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Two weeks??? And you're still alive!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Just maybe they were rotten?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No they were in date
      I checked

      Delete
  8. you can always wear your shirt and dream!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dream..the impossible dream

      Delete
  9. Stay strong John, you can do it... At least until Monday! :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fortitude john fortitude !

      Delete
  10. So, everyone you encounter knows about your addiction, then? Anyway, good for you, I went a whole week without a Coke and caved today. You can be my dietary role model.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Great will power!

    ReplyDelete
  12. As if the diet coke could take away the sins of the scotch egg!! ha ha ha. I must remember that one the next time a nice big piece of juicy chocolate cake waves at me :)
    Enjoy the rest of your weekend mate.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I won't..... Working tomorrow too!

      Delete
  13. Hallucinations? You need a REAL scotch egg, stat.

    Really, though, is there anything harder than being on the brink of cheating and turning your back on it after all? Well done!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am now feeling rather saintly

      Delete
  14. Bizarrely, all of a sudden TV chefs, all over, are showing us how to make them! I might even give it a go.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh god.........the temptation

      Delete
  15. It might have given you food poisoning - ok you'd have lost more weight but it would have been very unpleasant.
    Now you need to reach for the water & lay off the diet coke... says she who had cake AND a scone with jam & clotted cream yesterday !

    ReplyDelete
  16. If you have ever read about the ingredients of diet coke, you would know that the scotch egg would have been the healthier option ;-) Good luck with the " weigh in" anyway. X

    ReplyDelete
  17. It doesn't count if nobody sees you eat it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tell my fat arse that one!

      Delete
  18. If you break it in half don't the calories fall out?

    ReplyDelete
  19. John I wanted to tell you, I've had a very happy hour this morning while the other members of the household slept, popping over to some of your commentors & having a read of their blogs. Wonderful Blogs, wonderful people x

    ReplyDelete
  20. So I wonder who did find a home for the forlorn scotch egg? Poor little thing! I thought you had a reputation for taking in waifs and strays, How could you just drive away from wee Jock like that?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yorkshire Pudding, stop it. John will now drive all the way back to rescue that poor forlorn egg which has been vilified by some previous commentators as cardboard. Since it the morning after the day before he might get a discount. Feed it to Winifred.

      Dear dog in heaven. Reminds me of my then young son and I going to choose a Christmas Tree (Nordman's Fir, naturally). Moved him to tears when we chose the ONE only to leave all others behind (the day before Christmas Eve 24 Dec not many takers.) I couldn't buy all of them, could I?

      Guilty as charged,
      U

      Delete
    2. Lol
      I too have bought the most pathetic Christmas tree in the pile
      ( at least I can't eat one)

      Delete
  21. So I wonder who did find a home for the forlorn scotch egg? Poor little thing! I thought you had a reputation for taking in waifs and strays, How could you just drive away from wee Jock like that?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I needed to be strong
      Sometimes a guy just has to walk away.......

      Delete
  22. You should have bought it John... my reasoning, it would have been out of date... you'd have scoffed it... then spent the night on the bog with the trots... a diet aid... seven pounds lost at one sittting, or should I say shitting.

    LLX

    ReplyDelete
  23. The Bell Pub here in Bath has just started to make (or Hattie has just started to make) the best Scotch Eggs you have ever tasted, John. She also makes very good pizzas, and last night, I saw a pizza served up with a Scotch Egg sitting on top - Uova Scotia? - your idea of heaven? Want me to send you a couple by express delivery?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ..........no........yes.........no.......yes..........yes please!

      Delete
    2. OK - send me a quick email (which I know includes your postal address) so I don't have to trawl through about a year's-worth to find it, and I'll post them tomorrow. (sigh... the things I do for isolated, flatulent animal-hoarders...)

      Delete
  24. You and your blinkin' scotch egg posts made me realise that I hadn't made any for ages so I did some last week - what a lovely treat, soooo delicious, all that sausagemeat and crispy breadcrumbs!

    ReplyDelete
  25. John, It's all your fault!

    It appears that Scotch Eggs may be the next gourmet snack.

    I went to the Malvern Autumn show, intent on stocking up on some fancy varieties from the Gourmet Scotch Egg people. I got to the food hall around mid afternoon, and the scotch egg stand had sold out of everything but the chick pea and tomato version.

    Now to the best of my knowledge Jamie, Gordon the like have not been pushing the humble Scotch Egg, so I surmise it's all down to you.

    ReplyDelete
  26. If you were eating Paleo, you could have all the Scotch Eggs you want, you just make your own without the bread crumbs.

    ReplyDelete
  27. After I move to Savannah, Georgia (hopefully before the end of the year) I'll finally have a scotch egg! There are a few British pubs there, so I googled and found great reviews of the ones in Molly McPherson's! I remember from working at the British Consulate in Atlanta that either the Consul General or the Consul would take part in the parade on St. Patrick's Day in Savannah.

    Nancy, still in Iowa

    ReplyDelete
  28. Congratulations on holding out, John!
    Now how do you reward yourself after the weigh-in? ;-)
    Have a wonderful Sunday!

    ReplyDelete
  29. You are a brave man.

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
  30. Awww... poor Scotch Egg, it could still be there waiting for you ........

    ReplyDelete

I love comments and will now try very hard to reply to all of them
Please dont be abusive x